₦airaland Forum

nairanlanders, is it advisable to attend when u are not invited?

@ poster

please how did u contact peopleprime, can u help me too?

Indeed there is a God in heaven and only him is worth of all glory. congrats bro!!!

guy just take it easy, no situation is worth ur death!!!

I dey suspect dis Segun's obsession with Calabar version of i love u, e be like e just catch one mbong girl,
oya Segun talk true, what are u up to?

Please help me out. Ive been called by KPMG for aptitude test, what do i expect

BLABLA PHOBIA

lol

we too get lover boys for this form sef.
@Segunpc
if all d girls do u, shey no be ur carcass dem go carry comot

attention!! where is ituen no allow anybody over throw u o as d "osomo of nairaland"

Segu and lola, na una wan help me interprete my oyinbo abi, ok continue.
I dare u to interprete dis:

alabarin mi, ayun re n yun mi ni gbogbo igba, ekuro si ni alabaku ewa

@ poster
hi Segun, long time, hope u're well

I love in my language
ololufe, ife re gbile l'okan mi

NAIRALAND ON FIRE PT I & II

@ richo
couldnt agree with u more

@ poster
thanks for the insightful post, av u 4goten men often tink with their bla bla first, such is their ways

@ poster
u be gigolo? dat NO 9 go cos trouble o

anyway, nice one !!!

y u dey praise God, u no get blabla

Almighty bla bla

I'll tell you a short poem;
I'll try to make it quick.
You might think it quite harmless;
You might well find it sick.
The subject is quite simple:
The joy of having a privates.

joysticks are super things;
You ladies should be jealous.
Ever since the early days,
When it was small and hairless;
I've looked upon that bit of flesh,
As something very precious.


It starts to grow dramatically,
When you're about thirteen.
Your testicles on either side;
Your willy in between.
When erect it's quite a sight;
A purple love machine.


It dangles neatly down below;
Obedient and loyal.
Its seeds are hidden well within;
Awaiting some fresh soil.
At the slightest hint of lust,
It's ready to uncoil.


It has a mind all of its own;
It's like a wild beast.
It squirms and writhes and stretches out;
When you expect it least.
You can't control its energy;
You must wait 'til it's ceased.

Handle it with love and care;
For it can give great pleasure.
Has it grown since last weekend?
And when did you last measure?
Still, no matter what its length;
It's something you should treasure.

Sometimes, yes, it misbehaves;
Erecting when it shouldn't.
A bumpy train ride sets it off;
Just when you wish it wouldn't.
Did that lady notice it?
You blush and hope she couldn't.

Some people fret about its size;
They give it lots of thought.
Is seven inches long enough?
It makes blokes quite distraught.
They peek across in public loos,
And try not to get caught.

Masturbating is a sin;
That's what some folk believe.
But those are just old wives' tales;
Outdated and naive.
And if you're feeling tense or stressed,
A quick self-service does relieve.

Without this fabulous device,
No shag would be complete.
Lesbians will try their best;
But must admit defeat.
And what a handy tool it is,
When one needs to excrete.

The privates is quite marvelous;
It has so many uses.
For women it is special too;
Excitement it induces.
And babies can be procreated,
From its sperm-filled juices.

And always it remains with you;
Until you're old and frail.
Don't take it out in public though,
Or you'll be thrown in jail.
Just look at it and feel proud;
And thank the lord you're male.

@ poster
u wan turn to ur house to fuji house of commotion with the present state of d economy, enough pity from me to u

chei, i don cause trouble for naira land
+ kick tufe's butt+

THE SAGA OF STEP MOTHERS

Growing up in a [sub]broken[/sub] shattered home, i have found out through experience that wicked step mothers are not consciouly or deliberately wicked people but just held by insecurity and fear of the unknown. Living with my step mum, my eye see weeen but to the glory of God i have a story to tell. Even now that im no longer with them, she still beef me, backstabbing and reporting me to whoever cares to listen. but i know God will be the ultimate judge.

Thanks to her, i used to have a very low opinion of myself but now i know that im the best that God could ever create. At first i hated her vowing to get back at her for destroying my childhood, but with time, thank God for Jesus in my life, ive gotten over it all.

A PIECE OF ADVICE
For those of us who grew up in broken homes, let our experience teach us a lesson, preserve your marriage, guard it at all cost, i mean with every thing u have. Remember, a broken relationship is better than a dissolved marriage.
He that has ears ,

@ ify and folly

[sub][/sub]down boy, down

@anusman
u trying to redeem ur image or whar? try redeem ur name first

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

@clemcykul
i never knew u're related to clint da drunk ooo!

@aisha
eeh eeh, u no fear, drink on, may God help u

For those of u who love beer, BEWARE!!!

For those of u who love beer, BEWARE!!!

A male friend once told me the story of how he was almost nabbed. Hope u learn from it:

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned- frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. She pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test, we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."



And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in the car!

A male friend once told me the story of how he was almost nabbed. Read his story and Hope u learn from it:

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned- frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. She pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test, we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."



And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in the car!

thunder fire those bosses!!!!

nice one

@ Saucekid and anusman

bullies