₦airaland Forum

DestinedForGrea:
Hello everyone.

Please I need an urgent advice from the mature minds here. I'm about to take a decision that has the potential to change the course of my life.

A quick background:
I come from a family consisting of five "children", of which I'm the fourth. Right from the days of my childhood, my parents and older siblings have had a firm control over me. They often dictated the friends I'd keep, placed I'd go to, where I should be, and almost how I should behave.

I was mostly indoors because they didn't want me playing around. That had an impact on my personality, because I couldn't master the ability to make friends, express myself confidently, and get involved in social activities that my peers relished.

Fastforward to this point:

I'm in my late 20s, a graduate and an NYSC cert holder, and although the level of control has been minimized, I still experience a bit of it. I don't have a place of my own for now, so I stay in the family house, but my older ones are independent in that aspect though they don't stay far from the family house.

I have a job too, but the salary is not even enough to take care of myself and support the home for a week.

Now here's the issue, I got a job offer from someone I served with during my NYSC, in a state about 8 hours from my current state of residence. It's the same job with the one I'm on right now (a teaching job) but with a slightly better payment return.

The person has a good relationship with the principal of the school, so according to him, the job is secure. I had to accept it because I'm tired of my current situation, and I'm tired of the life I'm living here -- my social life is next to zero, I don't have friends close by, I'm not socially active, and I need to explore. With my little savings, I plan to get an apartment as cheap as possible when I get there.

The problem is everyone is kicking against , because they're concerned about my safety, how I'm going to cope alone in this harsh economy. They've told me that if I decide to leave against their wish, that I'll be on my own and won't get their hands involved if anything goes wrong.
At the moment, I'm thinking of standing my ground and sticking to my decision, because I'm depressed from being in this environment, but I'm a bit afraid of my family cutting ties with me.

Please any advice? I really need some right now.

Thanks!

. I will advice you listen to your families.... everyone is different, I understand you are desperate and not comfortable with your current situation, but it's better to be patient better offers are coming. Imagine you want to leave a teaching job for another teaching job in a town of 8 hours journey difference from your place? ... it's not worth it please! Nigeria is not smiling right now in a town you are not really familiar with it considering security and financial issues. I am sure can still explore within your town and neighboring cities within your area. Please reconsider!!!

Anikulhapo:
Why are these people lying for Christ sake? No pupil is being fed in Oyo state abeg, Osinbade is a lying crooked pastor, devil incarnate

why are you lying for God's sake.....I reside in Oyo and I can testify to this, there are many food vendor taking food to different government school....go to any government school and confirmed any day you like, u can also go to atiba LG to confirm and other local governments...... go to Heritage bank in Ibadan and see people all the way from saki, iseyin,Oyo,igboho etc to collect their money every month in their acc......people can lie sha!!!.......stop hating abeg

congratulations dear........ wishing u a happy marriage life..... just be careful.... challenges are in every situation either it's a good time or bad time but with a lot of patience everything will be fine

Contact17:
Assalam alaikum,

If you mean dancing while listening to music then that is wrong without doubt. Music is prohibited in Islam. Dancing together in a mixed gathering where women are uncovered and beautified (which happens at most weddings) is also wrong as well.

There follows a list of haraam things which both men and women should avoid in the wedding party:

1- Mixing of men with women, and things that are involved in that, such as greeting and shaking hands with one another, and men and women dancing together, because all of that is haraam and is a very serious matter.

2- Taking pictures, whether men do that amongst themselves or women do that amongst themselves.

I should also add that taking pictures refer to ones that would be printed which has been prohibited as mentioned by the Prophet Muhammed (peace and blessing be upon him).

'Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Those who will be most severely punished by Allaah on the Day of Resurrection will be the image-makers." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, see al-Fath, 10/382).

'Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "Shall I not send you on the same mission as the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent me? Do not leave any built-up tomb without levelling it, and do not leave any picture in any house without erasing it." (Reported by Muslim and al-Nisaa'i; this is the version narrated by al-Nisaa'i).

3- Drinking alcohol or eating pork.

4- Letting the husband come in to where the women are in order to take his wife.

5- Women wearing revealing, tight or short clothes amongst themselves, because this is haraam – so how about wearing such things in front of men?

6- People should avoid spending extravagantly or going to extremes in showing off in wedding parties, because that may wipe out the blessing.

7- The husband and wife exchanging rings and thus imitating the kuffaar, thinking that this will increase the husband’s love for his wife and vice versa.

Finally, both partners should know that the more the teachings of Islam are followed in the wedding party, the more blessed their marriage will be, the more love and harmony there will be between them, and the less problems they will encounter in their married life. For if the married life is based from the outset on haraam things which go against the commands of Allaah, how can they expect the marriage to be successful after that? There have been many marriages in which there were things that went against the commands of Allaah, and they did not last. Fear Allaah with regard to this party and keep it free of things that are forbidden in Islam. May Allaah bless you both. We ask Allaah to give you and your husband strength. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

And Allaah knows best.

www.islamqa.info/en

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn!!!......let's be mindful of what ever we have to say in public, wee must do our research very well before saying somethings in public and clear your point. About mixing the first thing that came to my mind was hajj, u see u ve to make some clarifications wen explaining things in order not to mislead many..... meanwhile everything is not haraam, not everything! hmmmmmmmmmmmmn!........@op it's not permitted if u want to dance as a couple go dance in your home.........May Allah swt forgive us all because he knows best may he lead and guide us to the straight path.....ameen

azeecoboy:
jamb only send ur details to unilorin for admission consideration
now,what is expected of unilorin is to screen u in or out

hmmmmmm!......thanks for d information I believe I will be screen in

I have been posted to unilorin but what does this posting means, is it that you have gain admission and only screening remain or what.....someone should kindly please explain it to me

I have been posted to unilorin but I want to ask what exactly does this posting means? is it that u ve gain admission or what.......someone should please explain to me

naijaking1:
Good job, see good things happens when you're not covering your head with dirty rags, cool air gets to enter your brain.

like seriously.....if the hair on her head didn't affect her brain I see no reason why a piece of cloth will! even the cloth on your body ain't affecting your health.........so why unnecessary hate?.......somehow

I went to a boarding school there is nothing special about that message she is just trying to appreciate u maybe, u can just delete it because many will definitely read another meaning to the message..... no strings attached

yordha:
Its realy sad the wey the title "pastor, prophet and evangelists" are being tainted daily on social media, mostly in crime stories.
I mean, i can call myself any name, nickname or give myself any title but that doesn't make me what i claim to be. Christians need to start standing up against impersonators that like to drag our good name to the mud.
Even p*rnstars dress like nuns to shoot thier scences but that doesn't make them one.

oh! now u know that not everyone that calls himself a name actually bear it but when it is a Muslim some will start shouting and insulting calling all sorts of names and insulting them.......one thing I want u to know is that irrespective of your tribe, religion, ethnic, gender bla bla bla there are only two kind of people the GOOD ones and the BAD ones.....good day

for me it's usually meeting new people, in fact am always scared of meeting or interacting with new people, my old friends are d best I dnt want to make another friends neither did I want them to have a new friend even if they have I dnt like meeting them.... I do have some strange feelings anf fear whenever am abt to meet new friend, in fact it made me loose people who wants to befriend me cause I won't just chat with you or ending the chat as soon as possible.......lol

Nice one

lol