@ MrsDoctor, what you are going through is so unfortunate but you have to be strong. I mean very strong. Judging from what you wrote, you are indeed trying to get along with her and if all what you wrote is true then you have a very needy MIL. Which means you have to take your stand and do what works for you and not your MIL and husband. You are not married to her son so that you can be mama's puppet.

My advice to you is don't go against/advice your husband against whatever he wants to do for her mum.

Always inform your husband when you call or visit her.

Don't start what you can finish. Don't go there and start cooking, washing clothes, plates, floor all because you want to get in her good book. All those things will most likely bring other complaints like her food is salty e.t.c.

If i were you, i'll text and call her more than visit her.

Pray that the desires of your husband will be to love, cherish, protect and nurture you.

Goodluck!

I think your MIL wants you to have the traditional marriage in Nigeria because it's her base which will allow her peeps to celebrate with her. Not all her friends and family will be able to fly to London for the wedding.

Having said that, i think she should reason with you and your family and have everything here in London. Whatever rancour your dad has with his family is absolutely his business. His hands shouldn't be twisted to make peace with his family because her daughter wants to get married. He should do it in his own time.

My advice is to speak your fiance into convincing your future MIL and i'm sure you know what to do if she's not convinced.

moonberry:
Please mamas, how do I handle depression, I lost my immediate sister a day after my LO naming, I thought I would be able to get over it but it hasn't bn easy( 2wks now). I am always scared that sometin might happen to my baby,I don't feel capable of taking care of him on my own,I stay with my Mil presently but will go bck to my base after 40days. Pls I nid ur hlp as am not happy at all and its affecting my love for my LO I don't wnt to go bck feeling lk dis.

It's alright to feel the way you do but don't let the pain overwhelm you. My advice for you is to express your grief. To be honest with you, it's still early days. I don't expect you to be all cheerful now but don't dwell on your loss. Your baby needs you and i hope you're able to draw enough strength from him/her to do the needful.

lertee:
So the reality has finally dawned on me that i'm going into matrimony in 5days,i have read so much moved with a few with good and bad experiences,i've been scared and wished silently that the day doesn't come fast but well,once there's life and good health,time will always fly faster than you expect.

I have a few fear about marriage,from finance to child bearing to infidelity,losing freedom and in-law issues,with a few things i've read on this thread so far,i come to realise some of these issues are almost unavoidable.

Is this fear normal for every intending bride to be or is it just me?

It's normal to be fearful because it's a journey of the unknown. Be sure to go into it with an open mind. Do not let other people's experience shape your home.
God is the author of marriage, do not leave him out of your home. Wishing you a blessed and peaceful home.

exebi:
Brothers and sisters,

Please pray for me. I am HURTING - VERY MUCH SO. I need His wisdom, guidance, direction and strength.

Please pray for me.

Thank you.

I pray that God will intervene and give you peace. What exactly is the situation now? Have u spoken to her family?

I don't need to hear this guy out. It's obvious that his disapperance was deliberate. How can a man travel out of the country without informing his pregnant girlfriend. If that's not wickedness, i wonder what adjective qualifies such a heartless man.

Cherryice, pls be smart. Don't let this man hurt you the second time. He's coming back for his son. He wants to get back into your life so that you can trust him with ur son and before you know it, all you've laboured for is taken away from you. WISE UP.

BTW, don't you think dt ds guy probably has a new fam now. Forgive him and make him responsible for the upkeep of his son but don't grant him access to him or you might have urself to blame.

exebi:


Her bad behavior has been long-standing and I have brought it to her attention several times. She even "promised" almost a year ago to change. Within one week of that promise, she did something horrible I would never have expected from her (an entirely different story) and indignantly used rudeness and disrespect to "defend" herself. Frankly, if I must be honest with myself, she just lacks the ability to behave properly towards me - no respect, no care, no love. The irony is that she is exceedingly respectful, loving and caring of her parents and siblings. She is also generally respectful of elders. I frequently tell her, "you speak to me and act in ways you would never speak to your youngest sibling or to even a stranger on the street, yet this is what you give 'your husband' " . her response is that I should not mention her "family". Indeed, she even says that my mentioning of her family to make that point is "disrespectful" of her family.

It's obvious that you want to make your marriage work. I salute you for that. I will advise that you report your wife to her parents and if possible, do it in her presence. Travel if you have to. Cite all the examples you can remember and make them aware of your hurt and dissapointment. That way, she'll know that you mean business. I believe that she's got the power to change. You have to command the respect you deserve as the head of your home.

If she doesn't change after that, then you've got a vital decision to make. Pls dont try for a baby now. You guys need to sort yourselves out before bringing forth an innocent child.

Goodluck and i hope you update us.

Godmystrength:
I haven't posted in a while because so many things were unfolded and i am yet to come to terms with that . The only update i can give for now is that the lady is leaving by month end. In fact, right now she is not in my house. She is with her sister and i am only waiting for month end so i can just pay her october salary and (depending on how i feel at that time),the money hubby is owing her...

To all those who asked after me, i am fine . Thanks for the love.... In due time, i might let you all in the full details

God wiĺl strengthen and give you peace in Jesus name. It is well with you.

Kindly interpret ds for me pls. I dreamt that a building collapsed on where my child was but we rescued him unhurt.
Also, i dreamt dt we went to d beach to have fun. Sundenly, my son was missing. We eventually found him under a heap of rubble. Still unhurt.

Thanks.

If you are indeed right about those characters you mentioned above, then, something must be wrong somewhere. Its deeper than the behaviours she's exhibiting. Why not try to listen to her. Have a heart to heart conversation with your wife. Ask her what you have done to deserve what you are getting and be prepared to act on whatever she tells you. You can get the best out of her, trust me. Feed her with her love language and not what you think she deserves. Divorce won't solve the problem. Infact, it will bring more woes. You have two kids between you. Please, explore every avenue to resolve your differences before thinking about divorce.

If nothing changes after you have explored the afore mentioned, involve family members or whoever she respects and dont forget to continually pray for a peaceful home

Goodluck!!!

nickxtra: Pls, my wife is nursing 4 months old baby and just after about 3 months of giving birth, we had unprotected intimate relation and a month later, she notices signs of pregnancy. What do we do, as we can't afford to keep the pregancy because our baby is ust too young for her mother to begin another process of giving birth, which as we have timed, may become due when this present is barely a year old? She has tried to see some doctors, but the advice is for her to keep pregnancy and this she finds difficult to do. Pls, I need your advice, what do we do?

Is she confirmed pregnant? If she's confirmed pregnant, congratulations!!! Why exactly is she finding it difficult? 1. Stress? Get her some help and if you can't afford that, be helpful as much as you can.
2. What people will say? What happens in ur home/marriage is nobody's business and i don't think you should be ashamed of the Lord's doing.

Givemejoy: Please I need you to tell me why men are
allowed to get away with everything and we the
women are always the victim. In my 4 years of
marriage with my husband I never used to go
through his phone, but out of curiosity I
checked his phone on the 6th of this month
and I saw text messages between him and
another woman. From what I read in the
messages he is clearly having an affair and
sleeping with this woman. I confronted him and
he denied it, he has deleted the messages but
from then till now we have not been on
speaking terms. My anger is that we have taken
the matter to his parents and my parents and
they are all blaming me for going through his
phone and asking me to apologise to him. I am
so angry and hurt. Why is nobody blaming him
for having an affair. Please what should I do,
did I do anything wrong, why is everybody
supporting him.

They asked you to apologise for going through his phone? Did you present them with evidence that he was cheating? If you didn't present any evidence and he was able to convince them that he wasn't cheating, then i understand why you were asked to apologise.

@Godmystrength....it's better you block this guy out of your life forever and ever (amen)....lol. I had a similar experience so i can relate with the stalking. Was in a relationship for 7 yrs as well but the relationship packed up somehow (dont want to go into details). My ex stalked me for years. I had to block him on all the blockables, changed my number and i just ignored every attempt to communicate with me. Once the relationship was over, i never replied any of his messages.

Just activate your ignore button. Ignore, ignore and keep ignoring. Continue to ignore him even if it will take years for him to get the message that you have moved on.

mamateniola1: Emioga..thanks. I never apologise jawe, wil try do. you think I should let him know about the guy?
hello everyone,how weekend,

I will advice that you tell him about him disturbing you but don't tell him he was the cause of your bad mood the other day except you are sure he will handle it well.

I pray that the Lord will grant your heart desires. We will celebrate with you before the end of the year in Jesus name.

I also tried for about 6 months before i fell pregnant and it was a difficult time for me. I read so much that i was overloaded with information. I timed sex, raised my legs up after sex and was just stressing. I eventually just laid it all at Jesus feet and just enjoyed sex for what it is. I fell pregnant that month. I was surprised. Only God knew how many times i had done home PT before that month. I bought abt 20 pieces of the test stript on ebay.
I couldn't believe my eyes when the line appeared.

The Lord will surprise you in Jesus name (amen).

I believe this is a potential problem you have to solve before getting married or else you might find yourself financially responsible for urself and house keep. If i may ask you, what is ur financial plan for your future home? What percentage of the financial responsibility will each of you be saddled with? You need a plan.

Also, don't assume that he should know what you want. Ask, ask and ask again.

Goodluck!!!

Is there any reason you can't relocate to join him? Are you both based in Nigeria or outside of Nigeria?

Post graduate diploma in what course and country?

3 months is too long in my own opinion. Couples should resume a healthy sex life any time after 6 weeks of childbirth. Yes, women are different. But if at this stage, she's still feeling unbearable pain during sex, then she needs a medical check up.
Google sex after childbirth to be more knowledgeable and encourage your wife to do the same. Once she's medically certified okay, encourage her to relax during sex and use a lubricant to ease the friction.
She might also be scared of unplanned pregnancy. So, i suggest you decide on best family planning that will suit you two.

How are you getting on? Pls take care of yourself and do what's best for you and your unborn child.

I have been following this thread and i must say that it is very interesting to see women support each other. My prayer is that God will make our homes heaven on earth.

I also agree with checking of phones. I check hubby's phone from time to time and he knows i do. Not that i don't trust him. I trust him but men can be careless in terms of their friendship with ladies. While they think they have a friendly relationship with a lady, the lady might be plotting an impeachment order against the wife and preparing to swear herself into his life permanently.

I check his phone to know more about him. Who he talks to and their line of conversation. I like to be in the know and i know how to handle it well.

For wholesale shoes, you can leave ur contact and i will get back to you

Kindly get in touch for wholesale baby wears, avent and tommee tippee products. We also supply high quality handbags at an affordable price. The more you order, the cheaper the products.