₦airaland Forum

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Does anyone have access or links to any clips from her "I need to know" days. I will appreciate it, am trying to bring back memories.

I know of an easier way to watch world cup on the internet: www.espn.com 

Its so interesting that most of their parents got divorced at an early age.

So far, Brazil looks like Shooting Stars of Ibadan playing Barcelona

You can watch the match live on nbcolympics.com, if you are in the US, telemundo dey show am on Comcast

Thi

This is chikezie for you.

Its very real. I am a witness.

, and I am now the president of Nigeria

u do research and then u copy and paste

A Nigerian -Yoruba business tycoon was at a social gathering where other monguls and wealthy men were present.

The Yoruba businessman looked for all ways to impress the other rich men who were present at the gathering. Just for that foolish reason, he sent for his driver and had this conversation with him:

"Driver, go to my house, not the green one, the red one. Not the red one in Ikoyi, the red one in Victoria Island. Not the one in Adeola Odeku, the one on Etim Iyang Crescent. Not No 22, but No 11.

It is a black gate you will see, fling it open.

You will see a green Honda Civic. Perpendicularly, adjacently opposite to the Civic is a blue Toyota Carina E. It is not that one. Trigonometrically, geometrically, hypotenously 90 degrees to the 306 is a Mazda 929.

It is not that one.

The Mazda is very close to a regular Benz, the regular Benz is behind a 406, the 406 is beside Volvo S40 which is in front of a Honda Accord blocking a Toyota RAV4 opposite a Honda CRV. That makes a crescent to the Prado Jeep.

On getting to the Prado Jeep, make a diagonal sharp turn to the left extreme right top corner, on your way to where I parked the M-Class, very close to the E-Class in front of the Beast at the back of the swimming pool is a lovely S. Type Jaguar.

Don't touch the bonnet. Go to the boot, fling it open.

You will see red, white and blue briefcases. The red one contains dollars, 10 million dollars. Don't touch it. The blue contains pounds, 8 million pounds. Don't touch it. The white one contains Naira, 500s, 200s, 100s, 50s, 20s, 10s denominations. I arranged them in hierarchical order. 500 Nairas in first layer, 200 Nairas in second, 100 Nairas 3rd layer, 50 Nairas 4th layer, 20 Nairas 5th and 10 Nairas top floor.

Take one 10 Naira. Go and use it to buy pure water, and don't forget to bring my change!"

A pastor was driving on the expressway when he met a
team of
MobilePolicemen (otherwise known as MOPOL), who quite
naturally, wanted 'something'from him.

Since he was not prepared to play their games, they
asked for his papers and having combed through
everything without any offence with which to nail the
'stubborn' pastor, they now asked him to open the
bonnet of his car.

A careful scrutiny of the engine number against what
was on paper revealed that the letter 'U' was written
in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter
'V'.

That was all the officer-in-charge needed to shout
"stolen vehicle"!

Sensing trouble, even when he knew he committed no
offense, the pastor called the OC to say he was a
priest to which the officer replied:

"Please, leave that pastor thing, in any case, if you
are indeed a pastor, then you must have a Bible in
your car abi?, bring it."

The Pastor did as was commanded after which the
officer now ordered: "Please read Matthew 5:25, 26 to
me".

The incredulous Pastor opened to the recommended
passage and read:

"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is
taking you to court. Do it while you are still with
him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge,
and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and
you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth;
you will not get out until you have paid the last
penny."

@cute -ass
ok o

now thats a dumb joke whatever cute-ass finds funny is still a mystery to me

@lexy

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are,

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?







Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutel! y wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are, ?






Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it, Now add another 1000 . Now add 30.
Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?






Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right,
.Maybe.



Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana , 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?






Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!

violence

Element : WOMEN
Symbol : Wm
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones and absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for unknown cause 3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by that.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

TESTS

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD

illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact with each other.

!! WARNING !!

PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS

HIP HIP HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAY

Maxwell - lifetime

@unimportant

Christainity gives room for unity , peace and hospitality and not talking down on other pples religion.

I am a devoted christian myself and I dont talk trash about other pples religion.

whatever u believe in is your business and so is mine; u are not in any position to say what the holy quran, voodoo book or any other religious material says or preaches is right or wrong.

And to my muslim brothers; I apologize on "their" behalf if u have been hurt in any way. and you can always try AUTO-IGNORE it works.

Some of you "so-called" christians are a total disgrace. Christianity doesnt give room for you to talk trash about other pples religion, dee dee dees

what can we do for you?

Nairaland Gurlz are ugly

Gimme - Roux

@kello baby

yes , with all of una comments , u dey take the thing too serious and hin dey vex me  

thumps up

why all of una dey hyped up  because of an online contest wey no go add anything to  una life?

Abeg go and read.