Bammy00's Posts
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 Sports › Re: "I Will Be A God In Manchester United" by bammy00(m): 4:09pm On Jul 18, 2016 |
I just so love this guy. e get mouth and hin sabi ball. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Are You An Ajebota Or A 'paki?:12 Ways To Make The Determination by bammy00(op): 3:25pm On Jul 18, 2016 |
greatbrian: UndisputedBosom:No lies... Paki! but not more than level 2 |
| Jokes Etc › Are You An Ajebota Or A 'paki?:12 Ways To Make The Determination by bammy00(op): 2:23pm On Jul 18, 2016 |
• If you step on a nail and bleed, you might be ‘Bota, If you step on a nail and BEND IT, you're ‘Paki! • If you see the words Madam, Sir or Esq. after your folks name on an envelope, you might be an ajebota... But, if people refer to your folks as either "Iya-beji", "Mama-baby", "Mama-Chukwudi", or "Baa Lamidi", you are NOT ajebota! • If you have your home periodically fumigated with scentless pest repellants so it's virtually roach and termite free, you might be an Ajebota.... But, if your aim with either your wraps of fufu or garri can nail a flying mosquito to the wall, you're an Ajepaki! • If your folks carry wallets and purses, you're possibly an Ajebota,... But if your mom reaches into her bra to get money in the glaring eyes of the public, your Paki is level 5! • If you have a borehole installed in your compound for year round water supply, you might be an Ajebota, ... But if either you have a 'kanga' irrigation system or the middle of your head is hairless due to having logged over 65,000miles from hauling pails of water, you already know what you are. • If, after using the bathroom, you have an assorted barrage of scented toilet tissues to choose from, you just might be an Ajebota,.. But if you use water to 'tamba' ya self, you're an Ajepaki! • If you brush, rinse, gargle and floss, you just might be an Ajebota.... But if, after chewing your Pako,you can spit the pako-paste 40 yards, your pakiness is considered level 10! • If you had underwear that had the elastic bands at the waistline, you could be an ajebota,.... But if your underwear looks like the flag of Ghana and has a drawstring, you're DEFINITELY PAKI! • If you happened to have wandered into a neighborhood during Ileya and got amazed by the fact that people found ram-fights amusing, you might be an Ajebota, ..... But if YOU took the ram to fight after feeding it 'igbo', you are definitely a paki! • If your home has sophisticated theft deterrent systems like barbed-wires, dogs, a camera and an alarm system, you just might be an Ajebota,.... But if people are scared to scale your fence because of widely spread rumors of your folks having installed a SHIGIDI' (whatever that is), you're an Ajepaki! • If you go to a hair salon in Naija to get your do, you just might be a ‘bota,.. But if you and your 'onidiri' sit for six hours on an Apoti under a tree while she did your hair, you're PAKI! • Finally, if you and your mate know what pre-intimacy means, you just might be a ‘bota,.... But if you try pre-intimacy with your woman and she replies impatiently: "Baa Karimu, E se' nte' se, E ye f'ori Omu si E', you are a PAKI!! 1 more 1 more.. If you either have a dry cleaner that picks up your family clothing and the returns them washed, ironed and folded, or maybe you personally take them there to get the same job done, or you have a washing machine in the house and maid who finalises the rest part, we’ll fit you into the AJEBOTA clan. But then, if you dey use one full iron bucket of OMO to soak your “cloth (plural for cloth in pidgin)”, den u spread untop concrete-slab for “super scrub” with Kongi soap to hustle that troublesome collar, dip in back & forth until e turn to milk colour, hand-squeeze am with your upper bodi facing 1 direction while d cloth face d opposite direction, snap and flap d cloth in mid-air like 15 times to discharge (remove) d wrinkles before u use “wooden peg” to hold am for back-yard rope or better yet, lay am over your corrugated iron fence, NNA MENNNNNNNNN, your PAKO level don nearly cross perfect 10!!!!!!!!
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| Politics › Re: Bunmi Falana Demoted For Begging Fayose - Naijapopular.com by bammy00(m): 5:58pm On Jul 04, 2016 |
Serves him right, you don't bring the name of a respected institution into disrepute and go free 29 Likes 8 Shares |
| Poems For Review › Officer Daudu: A Short Piece On the Nigeria Police by bammy00(op): 5:34pm On Jun 23, 2016 |
Before I start this piece I'd like to say that the Nigerian police force is doing an amazing job But there are those who think differently and that's because of people like me My name is officer Daudu I am that officer that stands at your bus stop Properly dressed in my nicely ironed worn out black police uniform Collecting shandy from conductors If you think I am at this bus stop to protect your interest You lie I'm here to protect my interest Coz if you don't give me my normal 20 (shandy) or 50 (waso) U'll be a scape goat to the rest Abi me sef no go drink beer I don dey here for sun since morning and you no care I go show you say this uniform no be for service but for oppression I go dey ontop dey press you And if you carry your own come disturb my own I go show you say my heart na stone The police is your friend is the lie we sell So when you see me, run they tell you. If you are found walking at night It is better you hang with the area boys Coz when you come close to me you shall be harrased If you are a girl you must be caressed The only thing I'm thinking when I see those water melons bouncing up and down Or dose lumps of fufu dangling behind your waste Is how to intimidate you into a corner until you give me a taste of that pineapple flourishing in that small bush between your thighs My name is Officer Daudu If you step up to ask me how do you do? You had better have some egunje in your hand too Otherwise I would arrest you for attacking an enforcer of the law E be like say you never see back of counter before You go chop better slap your mouth go tear I have specialized the art of face crushing with my unnecessarily large boot I don't care if you committed a crime or not I would shoot, if you run I love my babe and my babe loves me She is black and her name is Maria If I catch you sagging na for her back you go sleep I am officer Daudu and I hate indecency But if you want me to act stupidly Just get your sister to wear Aquilla's skimpy things That mini skirt and spaghetti would do the trick My name is officer Daudu And the fear of me is the beginning of wisdom Coz I can do to you whatever I please, thanks to this uniform I would arrest you if you look at me Slap you if you talk to me And I will shoot you if you if I hear "Ole!" I am not sorry if you feel safer in the arms of area boys than in mine Or that hostile black mask saying your money or your life is safer to you than my straightly ironed uniform The truth is, I don't care I hope my black dress inspires fear Otherwise, how would I enforce the law you so gladly break If you all were not mindless goats you won't need me Treating you like the animal you are is necessary So you see At this bus stop you shall always find me And if you dey always give me something You and I would be friendly My name is officer Daudu Whether or not I arrest you tomorrow is totally dependent on you. written by Osigwe Promise editor at icandle magazine. https://www.facebook.com/promkingme
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| Romance › Re: A Plan For Women That Have To Deal With A Sidechick. by bammy00(m): 4:10pm On May 18, 2016 |
OP are you male or female? |
| Education › Re: Question For The Intellectuals. by bammy00(m): 4:03pm On May 18, 2016 |
He is able and willing. he allows evil because of the disobedience of Adam. he has set a time frame to remove evil. |
| Education › Re: Here’s The Only Biologically Immortal Living Thing On This Planet by bammy00(m): 11:59pm On Apr 28, 2016 |
Its nice to see educative posts sometimes. Thanks Op 3 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Few Things I Like About Nigeria Ladies. by bammy00(m): 8:30am On Apr 16, 2016*. Modified: 11:47pm On Apr 28, 2016 |
retracted 1 Like |
| Politics › Re: Jonathan Beats Tinubu, Koffi Anan, 3 Others To Clinch African Leadership Award by bammy00(m): 10:56pm On Mar 07, 2016 |
As much as I am happy he is still being recognized for good, his ineffectiveness while in power remains a cause for regret. |
| Christianity Etc › Re: Unbelievable Church Sign Posts That Will Get You Loughing. (photo) by bammy00(m): 12:14pm On Mar 05, 2016 |
Igbo kwenu! |
| Politics › Re: Photos From Maryam Abacha’s 68th Birthday Celebration by bammy00(m): 8:35am On Mar 05, 2016 |
The Abacha's would forever be rich. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Politics › Re: Manny Pacquiao, And His Lifelong Lessons For Nigerian Lawmakers by bammy00(m): 8:25am On Mar 05, 2016 |
I dont know why, but this touched me , Such generousity. Vote him for president 10 year term. |
| Politics › Re: True Story Of Hausa, Yoruba Conflict In Mile 12 Ketu, Lagos State by bammy00(m): 9:36am On Mar 04, 2016 |
The evil men do..... |
| Travel › Re: A Nigerian Removed From UK Flight Over 'prayer' Message On Phone by bammy00(m): 8:39pm On Mar 03, 2016*. Modified: 8:20am On Oct 27, 2021 |
| Travel › Re: A Nigerian Removed From UK Flight Over 'prayer' Message On Phone by bammy00(m): 8:38pm On Mar 03, 2016 |
Rubbish. |
| Music/Radio › Re: See The Shocking Resemblance Between Flavour And Her Daughter As A Baby by bammy00(m): 6:01am On Mar 03, 2016 |
I concur |
| Nairaland General › Re: See Photo Of Yinusa, Ese Oruru's Alleged Abductor by bammy00(m): 9:31pm On Mar 02, 2016 |
 |
| Celebrities › Re: Olamide Declares Love For Princess Vitarah’s Nigerian Kitty-Cat Song by bammy00(m): 11:37am On Mar 02, 2016*. Modified: 8:54pm On Mar 02, 2016 |
Lyrics are wacky, but the tune is catchy  the song made me laugh hard. I like her!Here's a link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7MzBv98D-s Laugh hard and thank me later 14 Likes |
| Celebrities › Re: Freeze, I Am Asking You To Shutup" - Joy Akosa Replies Freeze's Open Letter by bammy00(m): 10:51am On Mar 02, 2016 |
This guy owns more than fifty million naira worth of wristwatches  ,Hypocrites everywhere, Who freeze don help tru tru?  |
| Politics › Re: Peoples Mega Party (PMP): Aggrieved PDP Men Float New Party by bammy00(m): 6:20pm On Mar 01, 2016 |
we dont need another party abeg. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Travel › Re: This Is The Worst Federal Road I've Ever Traveled Through by bammy00(m): 6:18pm On Mar 01, 2016 |
before blame this or that ppl come, Apc should do the road. we dey wait. 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Ladies Will You Allow Your Boyfriend To Eja*culate Inside You by bammy00(m): 6:13pm On Mar 01, 2016 |
na Volcano ? ? 1 Like |
| Jokes Etc › Re: 8 Photos That Proves Makeup Is Witchcraft by bammy00(m): 5:56pm On Mar 01, 2016 |
Kudos to the make up artists. Good job. |
| Romance › Re: What Would You Do? (Breakup OR Forgive her?) by bammy00(m): 5:46pm On Mar 01, 2016*. Modified: 7:45pm On Mar 01, 2016 |
she stopped the guy she had planned to see all along from touching her |
| Celebrities › Re: Bred Shows Off Wads Of Cash On Instagram (Photo) by bammy00(m): 5:41pm On Mar 01, 2016 |
whish work bread, sorry b red dey do again sef? |
| Romance › Re: Some Statements That Ladies Find To Be Offensive by bammy00(m): 5:33pm On Mar 01, 2016 |
If she say make you look yansh my brother , nor look oo. Even if you go look, quickly snap mental pictures commot eye. otherwise 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: LADIES How Do ONE Bring Out The Demon In YOU? by bammy00(m): 5:28pm On Mar 01, 2016 |
Eberex:you would as time goes by. no need to rush. |
