Mrslarissa98: Hello everyone, I need your advice please. I am half Nigerian. I am married and currently living in another African country with my husband and our two children. Our first child is 4 years old and the youngest is 9 months old.
I was born and raised in Nigeria to a Nigerian father. When I was 13 years old, my parents divorced. My mother took me, my younger brother, and my elder sister from her previous relationship back to her country. Since we left, I have not seen or spoken to my father.
Unfortunately, my mother passed away two years later when I was only 15. Life was very difficult for us because my mother’s family treated us badly, but that is not really what I am looking for advice about, so I will keep the story short.
I got married 5 years ago, and 3 years ago my husband and I relocated to a different African country. We are both involved in business. I run a hair salon while also taking care of my duties as a wife and mother.
When I started my business, my daughter was already 2 years old and attending school, so it was easier to manage both my business and my responsibilities at home. But when I became pregnant with my son, I knew it would not be easy anymore because I would need someone to help take care of him while I worked. I stayed home for about 3 months after he was born, and when I was preparing to return to work, I asked my pastor’s wife to help me find someone to assist me. She had helped other people find help before, and she introduced us to a 19-year-old girl who came to live with us.
At first, everything was going well. She took very good care of my baby. My daughter’s school was close to my shop, so I was the one dropping her off and picking her up. We had planned that the following year we would move her to a school closer to the house so the girl could help with picking her up.
Let me also add that while I was on maternity leave, my husband used to come home around 1 p.m. to eat lunch. But when I returned to work, I asked him not to come home during the day anymore and to start taking food to work instead, which he did.
When my baby was about 5 months old, we left for work as usual. Around 10 a.m., my phone rang. It was my husband saying he was at the hospital with the maid and the baby. I panicked and asked what happened and if my baby was okay. He said the baby was fine, but the maid was the one who was not well.
He told me that he was at work, but he suddenly felt very uneasy, like something was telling him to go home and check on the baby. When he got home, he heard the baby crying inside the room where the maid shared with our daughter. At first, he ignored it, thinking maybe she was changing the baby. But the crying became worse, and he heard a loud bump. He called the maid’s name, but there was no response. When he entered the room, he found her lying on the floor naked, and the baby was next to her crying. He picked up the baby and called the neighbors, who helped cover her and put her in his car. One male neighbor followed them to help with the baby while they went to the hospital.
The girl was unconscious at first, but later she recovered. After she was discharged, I was wondering what could have happened. I asked her if she had any history of seizures or something similar, but she said no. She explained that she could not clearly remember what happened that day. She said that after putting the baby to sleep, she rushed to take a bath, and after coming out of the bathroom she could not remember anything else until she woke up in the hospital.
During the following days, I allowed her to rest as much as possible, and I started taking my baby with me to my shop. It was not easy, but I wanted her to recover.
One day, I came back home and found the house empty. She was nowhere to be found. I panicked and called her number, but it was switched off. I called our pastor’s wife, but she said she had not seen her. She was already aware of what had happened at the hospital. We were all worried and tried to reach her without success. Our pastor’s wife even sent someone to her aunt’s house to check if she was there, but she was not. After a few days, we found out that she was staying with her elder sister in another town. We felt some relief knowing she was at least with family. We tried to contact her to ask why she left suddenly, but she would not pick up our calls. Four months later, she came back to the church and informed our pastor that the reason she left my house was because, according to her, ever since she started living with us, my husband had been making advances toward her. She said she always refused him. She claimed that on the day of the incident, my husband came home and met her in the room while she was dressing, forced himself on her, beat her, and she passed out. The pastor called us, and the girl repeated this in front of everyone. My husband could not deny it and started begging for forgiveness. I was completely shattered. Although the pastor and his wife counseled us and tried to reconcile us, and my husband has been begging for forgiveness, I am still heartbroken. I am no longer interested in this marriage. I feel anger and pain whenever I look at him.
Now I feel like taking my children and going back to my home country. I cry every day and feel very depressed. I really need advice, please help me.
Sister I have so much to say after meticulously reading your story but let me keep it short and say only two or three things. 1. Pls listen to your pastor's counsel and forgive him (pls note that forgiveness is an action not a feeling). The fact that his act has been made known to the public is very embarrassing for a man and I can assure you he would not do such again. 2. You need to see this as a temptation by the Devil to continue a cycle in your lineage therefore I encourage you to break this cycle for the sake of your children I know it will not be easy but you have to try. Above all pls limit yourself at this trying moment of your life from those who call themselves your friends but will not give you words of encouragement but urge you to take actions that will inevitably end your marriage.
HardMirror: lol. Baba you are not sane at all in any shape or form. I have address the rubbish she said. Only dullards think what she said is smart
You mean you actually believed that some people stepped their feet on the moon? If so why are they now going around it after many years with sophisticated technology of today? That conspiracy rubbish was actually shot at Nevada Desert hahaha
A soldier at a busy road checkpoint flags down a young lady riding on the back of a bike and orders her to get down because of her outfit — a striped crop top and black shorts. The shaky handheld camera captures the entire moment as she complies and stands by the sandbags while traffic and other riders pass by. The person recording says: “This soldier at a checkpoint stopped a girl on a ride and ordered her to come down because of what she was wearing. This is the type of army we need.” Is this strict discipline or abuse of power? Should the military be acting as fashion police at checkpoints while insecurity remains a major issue? Drop your thoughts in the comments
Maybe he forgot that he is not Hisbal soldier but the soldier of a liberal country.
HardMirror: so you say in you bedroom and decided that that lunar vehicle is not on the moon. Something that other countries have verified and can still see live and direct with their high powered telescopes? This is why Africa can never catch-up with developed countries. Too many people like you
Africa is what it is today because most of them believe whatever the white men told them without critically interrogating it nor trying to chant their own course.
SO, A PLACE THEY CAN GO, LAND, MAKE CALLS AND EVEN TOOK PICTURES MORE THAN 50 YEARS AGO IS IMPOSSIBLE NOW? They said they can only go around it now, but 50 years ago, they had the technology to land on it
The funniest was even the landline call of that nonsense Apollo mission.
If you believed that USA actually went to the moon in the 70s, you need your head to be checked.
Hahaha! God bless you my sister I am so happy this morning to know that I am not the only sane and reasonable person on earth in this era. I have always told those around me that no man had ever gone to the moon they looked at me like ... Imagine with the advancement in technology now compared to when they claim they sent people to the moon yet all they could do is go around the moon in 2026.
The nurse who went viral for recording the terrible conditions at Uwani General Hospital, Enugu (no electricity, no water during night duty) has now been given an INDEFINITE SUSPENSION by the hospital management. She says: “I’m the girl that posted about the hospital at Owani… Sadly, I was given an indefinite suspension and removed from my clinical duties.” The Enugu State Government had queried the hospital after the first video blew up. The hospital claims they have now fixed the issues, but the nurses are still barred from resuming duty. She pleads with Nigerians: “Did we do anything wrong? We only wanted to bring their attention to the problems… and now we’re being punished badly.” This is the classic Nigerian story — expose the rot, get punished instead of protected. Will the Enugu State Government reverse this? Governor Peter Mbah, the ball is in your court!
I watched the video at night and I couldn't sleep afterwards abeg they should just resign and look for job elsewhere as the condition of that hospital is not even good for goat keeping let alone human beings and the most disheartening part was that a woman was in labour that night.
SisterAnn: What does he know about representation?
What experience does he have about life talk more Politics and public service?
Thank God he's going to represent only his people and not mine.
What does somebody who witnessed the birth of several political parties in his father's living room know? What does somebody who was born and raised in a highly political home know? Who was in Aso rock for 8 years. I don't think there's anything the Honorable members do that he can not do besides they usually have aides and most of the aides have been serving different honorables in different eras.
LagosOrigin: Tinubu should start writing his hand over note
It's over
Na so! Have you seen anybody that spits out honey in his mouth? Tinubu whose philosophy is grab, snatch and run with it. If he succeeded as a private citizen how much more as the C IN C. Tinubu no be Jonathan whose own philosophy was his ambition not worth the life of any Nigerian.
The 300 bed international hospital in ENUGU Nigeria will be a game changer, when it's fully equipped. Peter Mbah has done a great job here. pic.twitter.com/TXOWf3Byhl
The 300-bed Enugu International Hospital is nearing completion. A truly magnificent structure with cutting-edge facilities that will reverse outbound medical tourism. Mbah has got the Midas touch.
Rubbish I almost could not sleep yesterday night after watching the video of a general hospital in Ugwo posted probably by interns the condition of the hospital is terrible in the same Enugu state oooh. Instead of fixing the already existing ones that are in bad shape they are busy building new one that will deteriorate after few years due to bad maintenance culture.
obonujoker: Yes, started as a contract staff through Philips consulting, at entry level.
Never really knew what contract staff was then though 😀😀... Na make we don see work be the Koko
True talk my brother may God bless our hurtles. Philip Consulting UBA House 4th floor, I used to work on the 13th floor then before moving to telecom industry too in 2011.
obonujoker: With what we are seeing in the country today, mhen, I really commend and appraise Dr. GoodLuck Jonathan. He was a great leader and Man. Honest no be by Gra Gra.
I remember my 1st Salary as a Field maintenance engineer for Telecom based stations in 2012 - 85,000 per amount. Mhen, Life was good.
Looking at the Stats of Nigerian presidents and their regime, you will do nothing but praise Jonathan. All the evil some people did to Jonathan, it has bounced back on their heads, no wonder nothing they do progresses, instead they inflict more pain and pain. See some stats below 👇
1.💵 NIGERIA’S MINIMUM WAGE OVER THE YEARS (IN NAIRA & USD)
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Bafana Bafana will be based in Mexico for the the 2026 Men's World Cup.
They deserve to celebrate abeg despite 3 points deduction they sailed through ahead of others in the group.
ryloy: Is This The Most Beautiful Sport Complex in Nigeria Secondary School?
A newly built Tolu Schools Complex in Ajeromi-Ifelodun Local Government Area, nearly ready for commissioning, has over 52 schools rebuilt into modernized Structures. Mr. Governor, @jidesanwoolu, is truly putting our tax money to good use. 👏📚 #ForAGreaterLagos Cc: @Mr_JAGspic.twitter.com/eAwvoPSClb
Please be informed that it is not only in the military that one can serve Nigeria most of them are serving Nigeria dutifully in other endeavors already. So stop this rhetoric the next plan is to conscript them but you will not inform them when custom or NNPC is recruiting or FIRS or NPA or NIMASA or CBN is recruiting or NMDPRA or Bank of Industry or don't you think they can still serve Nigeria in those agencies too? Nevertheless we hear you but let us first fix our thatch roofs for our aged parents then we will answer.
I wouldn't want to see PO and Atiku run differently again as they did in 2023 as it would pave the way for the evening vegetable to continue in office with ease.
ParrotUpdate: I can remember vividly; It was Gov Nasiru El-Rufai who stood at Chatham House and answered security questions on behalf of Tinubu. On that same day, at that same venue, Reno Omokri was outside protesting that Tinubu should not become president. Today, Reno is an ambassador designate while El-Rufai is the one in custody. Irony of life.
Tinubu is only obeying the rule that says keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer. Do you not know the kind of damage Daniel Bwala and Reno Omokri would have inflicted on Tinubu's government if he hadn't brought them closer to himself? Think of it is Daniel Bwala really functioning effectively in the office he was appointed into? You can be rest assured that Reno will not get posted until after 2027 general elections after which his nomination can be withdrawn or posted to one inconsequential country in Africa. You can accuse Tinubu of anything but certainly not being political naivety.
Exactly my thinking all this while every reasonable person knows that Disu will succeed Egbetokun as far as Tinubu's government is concerned but why still keep the most incompetent IGP is what baffles me.
Please I'm having electricity problem with our new neighbour and I'm confused with what to do right now.
Here's the issue:
So we live in a compound where 3 rooms are connected to one prepaid.
So 3 of us donate to fund our prepaid meter.
A few months ago we were paying 4k and this usually last us for 2+ months. The reason I believe is that all we had to power is ceiling fans and charging of our devices (phones and laptops)
But ever since we got our new neighbor, the light bill has suddenly increased.
This month alone, we've recharged 8k+ individually and by my calculations, it'll cost each of us 12k+ for light to reach us for one month.
This is a significant jump from the 4k that will normally cover us for 2+ months.
I'm really not happy about this and don't know what to do right now.
I can't imagine paying 12k+ a month just to power my ceiling fans and laptop.
I have spoken with her and she told me she's using only fridge with the light, which I don't quite understand, how much our bill has jumped so significantly.
Please any suggestions on what to do will be welcome.
*File photo
Is it the same number of units you people were getting with the 4k contribution that you still get or it has reduced? Or the same units no longer last as usual? If it's the first case then it is an increment from the disco
Yes, the sales boy maybe acting on the fiance instructions, but honestly he's supposed to also use his head.
As a guy, you give her the money and if oga comes, you tell him. If him shout or becomes angry, you call the woman tell her incase of next time.
Also, I honestly don't think that oga/sales boy relationship is ordinary or the man no rate the wife to be at all.
What would be your reaction if this lady was your sister?
Hmm! On the contrary the fiance needs to be protected from you. Which sane man who needs peace of mind would marry a lady who fights in the market place and whose clothes were torn in the process and videos of her probably circulating on the internet already. Less I forget why didn't you have #600?
Family › Re: My Husband Assaulted Our Maid While I Was Away I Don’t Know What To Do by Barteze: 11:41am On Apr 05
