₦airaland Forum

Chitumu:
Hello great mums in the house. God bless the fruits of your womb and your perseverance. Amen. Am not a mum am here on behalf of my wife, she didn't know anything about Nairaland, as a first time parent to make a complain about our 18 months old hyper active son, hoping to find a remedy. This guy has turned an once quite house to a commotion hall, i say commotion becouse no any other word to define his headache causing behaviors during the day time, he has so much bruises gotten from all curiosity adventures, this guy can can strangle a cat, put press iron or heater in wall socket, place pot on fire, sweep the room with broom, jumb on the bed, on the tv and fan , wash his cloth, bath himself witth any available water dirty or colored, go under the jeep ,just name it and its there. The only way to stop him was thru the cane and i read somewhere in this forum that using cane will make him stubborn in near future .all me my wife want to know is Plss at what age hyper active child stop these behavior.

It begins to reduce when they are about 3 years old. I would say just manage the situation as best as you can . I have 3 sons you don't even want to know what my day is like . Cane does not help because its not like they are trying to be bad its just part of their development.

Today I will look at lochia, episiotomy and episiotomy care

Lochia is simply after birth discharge that is experienced by women after giving birth. It is made up of blood and mucus and tissue . The discharge can last for up to 6 weeks and usually starts out as very deep red and lightens in color as the days go by. It is important for a new mom to take things easy after delivery as too much stress can increase the quantity of lochia experienced.
As a ftm the things you need to deal with this discharge are
1.Disposable pad eg Lady Sept and always . Lady sept is just like thick cotton wool with a net holding it together . It has no wings like always so there is a tendency for underwear to get stained so its advisable to buy always too.What I did was layer my undies first with always before I now put Lady Sept . It saved me the stress of washing stained undies
2. Disposable underwear (optional)
3. Undies that have a good or tight grip to be able to hold the pad in place
It is advisable to wash yourself with water every time you change your pad and the pad should be changed as often as possible to avoid bad smells and infection.

Episiotomy
If a woman has never had a baby the birth canal is usually very tight and sometimes when delivering a baby for the first time the canal may be so tight that it does not allow the baby come out easily. If the baby is left to force his or her way out it could result in terrible tears that may not be easy to repair and could also cause excessive bleeding . What medical personnel do is give you an episiotomy which is basically a cut and this cut is done at the peak of a contraction . My first child had a very big head and I was given a double episiotomy that is cut in 2 places. I didn't feel the first one but I felt the second cut and it was really painful. Once the episiotomy is given the baby slides easily out of the birth canal. Once the baby and placenta have been delivered the next step is to stitch the episiotomy. I was given anesthesia before my stitch was done and I feel every mom should ask for it. I cant imagine being stitched without them numbing the place first.
For episiotomy care you need
Sitz bowl or a big bowl you can sit in comfortably
Salt
Disinfectant ie Dettol
You fill your sitz bowl or regular bowl with warm not HOT water , put in the salt and Dettol and sit in the water for about 10 mins . It is good to do it twice a day both morning and evening. I did this for about a month when I had my first and would do it after I had my morning and evening bath
The episiotomy site gets a bit swollen and can be quite painful . I used to seat on a hard surface stool and it helped the swelling go down a bit, but the pain was a bit much and I was walking funny for about a week after having my son

Plaese do not use hot water for sitz bath it can damage your stitches and you may have to go back for re stitching. It is also advisable to have someone check your stitches before you are discharged from the hospital . My double episiotomy was not properly stitched and i almost cried anytime i looked at my vjay are in the mirror it was a mess and intercourse with my hubby was slightly painful. It improved but i knew something wasn't right, It was when i had a tear with my 2nd baby that they were able to stitch me properly and put everything right again and i was back to normal

Surulady:
Thank you ma am seriously looking for one now I hope and pray I get a God fearing one...I’ve not felt healthy since I gave birth no sleep both day and night God Am not complaining but pls send a helper to me

Pele dear that lack of sleep was my main issue too. I pray you get somebody soon. Try and leave house chores for now anytime the babies sleep, try and sleep at the same time. Beg hubby to manage whatever is available until you get help.

A lot of times first time moms think delivery of the baby is the toughest part of the journey in becoming a mom . Sorry to burst your bubble it is just the beginning. Taking care of a baby as a newbie is not easy at all. My main aim of opening this thread is just to pass across detailed information based on research and my own experience as a mom of 3. I will go through topics like breastfeeding, immunization, episiotomy care and any other topic that a lot of ftm have questions about. I will start with breastfeeding.

My mom is a nurse and midwife and an exclusive breastfeeding advocate, right from when I was pregnant she had been ringing it in my ears that I must do exclusive and I decided to give it a go. I did exclusive breastfeeding for my 3 kids . I breastfed my first for 10 months in total , exclusively for 6months and started giving formula from six months. My 2nd never had formula he was breastfed for 2 and a half years, at 6 months we went staright to food and his cereals were mixed with breastmilk. I could do this because I was almost a full time housewife. My work hours were very limited. My 3rd was breastfed for 19months in total, 6 months exclusive and formula at 6 months plus. The first was the hardest and luckily my mom was with me and helped to encourage and show me what to do .

Breastmilk is the best food for babies . Before your baby is born your body is already preparing to nourish your baby . The very first thing your body produces as soon as your baby is born is colostrum which is very important to the well being of your baby. This is because it contains antibodies that will help prevent your baby from catching viruses or diseases. As soon as possible after your baby is born put the baby to your breast .

I must warn ftms breastfeeding is painful and it takes a lot of patience to establish milk supply, also getting the correct breastfeeding position takes practice and it is best to put the baby to breast every two hours to help your milk supply come in. Babies are usually okay with just colostrum for about 24 hours after birth and their stomachs are so small that about a tablespoon of colostrum or breast milk is okay at every feeding. Do not start to fret because proper breastmilk for a ftm may take 24 to 48 hrs or even more to properly come in. But if you are worried and feel like the baby is really hungry please buy formula and give baby with cup and spoon. This advice on cup and spoon is for moms that want to breastfeed exclusively.
This is to prevent nipple confusion some babies find it easier to drink from a bottle than to suck the breast and once you give them bottle they refuse sucking the breast.

Some moms say their babies do not get full with breastmilk. Breastmilk production is based on demand and supply. The more your baby sucks the more you produce. If it seems like the baby is not full put him or her on the breast more and your supply will definitely increase to match your baby 's need. For you to be able to meet up with exclusive breastfeeding you must eat well and be properly hydrated. Drink a lot of water, tea and watered down pap. For each meal take a big mug of watered down pap, then your main meal and a bottle of water. You may not have appetite but you just have to try so your breastmilk will flow.

Breastmilk is the best for the following reasons
1.Your body adjust the consistency and constituents of breastmilk to suit your baby at every point in time. If it is a hot day the body waters down the milk (which is why they say do not give babies water for the first 6 months). It also adjusts to meet the nutrient requirements based on your babys age

2.It is the cheaper and more hygienic option and does not require any preparation beforehand. Formula is expensive and needs hot water, bottles etc. By the time I had my 3rd kid I carry just my handbag no baby bag . Anywhere I am just breastfeed my baby without carrying too many items. Feeding bottles are also the number 1 culprit for stooling and infections in babies due to improper washing

3 Breastfed babies are relatively healthy. My kids are quite healthy particularly the one I breastfed till he was 2 plus. My kids never stooled excessively for 1 day, even when they have the occasional cold or fever it usually subsided in good time.

4 It creates a bond between baby and mom. The kid I breastfed the longest is my person o. Takes my side in all issues, we are actually very close and I believe that bond is as a result of the amount of time we spent breastfeeding.

On a final note when you baby is ill breastmilk is the best for him or her. This is because the bacteria in your babies saliva passes into your breast prompting your body to produce antibodies that will be passed to your baby via breastmilk to help fight whatever illness your baby is battling with

NB
Formula is close to breastmilk but it does not have all the nutrients that are contained in breastmilk so I would encourage ftms to try and breastfeed their babies even if its just for a week or a month you do not have to do exclusive for 6 months if you don't want to. If you are unable to breastfeed at all for whatever reason please do not feel bad or feel pressured formula is good and your baby will still be healthy. the most important thing is for baby to be fed . Any questions on breastfeeding are welcome will try to respond promptly.

Surulady:
Good day mummies,how are our LOs doing,pls my senior colleagues,how long does this yellow poo last? My babies pass this poo like 4times daily thou not much but am concerned about it.

Please is there anyone here using this tommee Tippee bottle sterilizer? I see as a waste of money because I felt it won’t work as expected..please anyone that has used it shld enlighten me....

Mamas that had twins pls how did you cope without a nanny .. my review with my Dr has not been pleasant..like am loosing it

Iya ibeji you are ftm and in addition a ftm to twins. I do not think you can do this by yourself . Taking care of a baby is a full time job talkless of 2 babies. You need help the only way you can properly take care of your babies is if you have full time assistance. You can get a paid help that will resume in the morning and close in the evening if you do not have any relatives to help. The person does not even have to do much for the babies but can help you with things like laundry,house cleaning etc. I really feel for you I don't have twins but I know how tough it was for me to adjust to taking care of a baby when I had my first child even though my mom was with me.

I am a woman and I have been married for 10years. I personally see nothing wrong in washing my mother-in- law's clothes. If his parents have unwashed clothes I will pack them and wash. I cannot imagine being in a house with them and I see them washing clothes and not help out. I love my husband and so his parents are my parents. I spent a week with my in-laws after my husband and I got married and while I was there my father- in -law asked me to help him with some of his laundry which I did willingly. The idea of being used as a slave didn't even cross my mind. I was not trying to impress them or gain anything material because my parents are quite comfortable financially. I was just raised to value relationships and it has paid off so far.

Kids will always fight but it is how you as the parent handles it that matters. Your son has beat up his elder sister 2ce and marked her body and they are under 10yrs . If you do not nip it in the bud now I hope it wont graduate to the use of household utensils. First and foremost your son must be dealt with in a manner decided by you, he must respect his sister and learn not to hit women. I have a younger brother and we used to quarrel a lot the one time he hit me and my dad got to know about it he got some resetting slaps. He was forced to kneel down before me and apologise and that was the last time he hit me. This was all when we were teenagers but we later became the best of friends . The ball is your court .

Na wa for your wife. How can you quarrel with your husband on how he cares for his parents? I don't understand the women we have out there. Please continue to take care of them when she is tired of complaining about it she will let you be. I love my husband o but I love my parents too. They are two parallel lines and each of their needs must be met.

Madam try Trojan . Its a bit expensive but you will be the one asking your hubby if truly he is wearing a condom.

You are very correct but its exactly just how i feel about naija girls who have never dated foreign guys.

Your wife is not serious at all. It is good to serve God but you need to still live up to the rest of your resposibilities. Church is not an excuse for neglecting your job or home. I feel for you because i have seen this story play out before. I encourage you to hang in there, take care of your kid just let her be . Until her eyes clear she will not listen.