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Benardtotti's Posts

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PoliticsRe: NNPC Apologises To Nigerians For Fuel Scarcity by benardtotti(m): 10:13am On Nov 26, 2015
chymystique:
Lol. Its not a matter of anti- APC... the way APC promised Nigerians heaven and earth, we expected @least something better not worse..
. Try and be realistic and stop being illogical, change is a process and APC never promised instant success ( when its not instant noodles), even jesus christ did not die until 33 yrs after coming to earth, dat means nothing in this world is immediate, not even salvation. God bless u my sister, In your lifetime u shall see a new nigeria.
Educational ServicesRe: Get A Student Visa + Scholarship To Study In India,china,austria ,UKAnd Canada! by benardtotti(op): 2:36am On Nov 24, 2015
January school sessions admission has commenced, call us for guidance and for further enquiries. Also for your student visa needs and travel concerns.
PropertiesRe: Saloon With Equipment For Rent @ Agege by benardtotti(op): 2:32am On Nov 24, 2015
Still available
PropertiesRe: Saloon With Equipment For Rent @ Agege by benardtotti(op): 8:14pm On Nov 18, 2015
Hello all

PropertiesSaloon With Equipment For Rent @ Agege by benardtotti(op): 4:58am On Nov 18, 2015
I have a saloon with equipment I want to let out around Agege. Stadium. Shop is located around. Ijaiye and it's on a busy road. To renew rent is 150k per annum. You have anyone who needs this, please contact me. Call: +2348088784514
Technology MarketRe: Brand New Microsoft Surface 3 64GB 2GB Ram **SOLD** by benardtotti(m): 2:47am On Oct 20, 2015
Can it fly for 100k
PoliticsRe: Breaking News: Jonathan Reduces Independence Anniversary Budget to N6.6bn by benardtotti(m): 9:54pm On Sep 22, 2015
bettercreature:
This guy forseen trouble for GEJ,what a legend
as in ehn!! i will love to know if he is still active on nairaland, did u also notice that this thread had very sensible posts, fast forward 5 yrs down the line nairaland has turned to a kindergaten centre, lalasticlala pls put this on frontpage.
AdvertsRe: Transparent Business Card Offer by benardtotti(m): 4:03pm On Sep 14, 2015
please may i have your number? thanks.
Jokes EtcReal Court Stories.......too Funny!!!! by benardtotti(op): 1:35am On Sep 14, 2015
TOO FUNNY NOT TO PASS ON!!
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga)Re: Manchester United Vs Liverpool (3 - 1) On 12th September 2015 by benardtotti(m): 9:20pm On Sep 12, 2015
watch similarities between henry and martial goals against liverpool.

https://vine.co/v/eFnOUwL9we0
PoliticsRe: Lack Of Policy Hurts Nigeria's Economy As Buhari Marks 100 Days-Reuters by benardtotti(m): 8:26pm On Sep 04, 2015
take time and read the very article you posted OP,reuters is not directly saying baba has failed.
PoliticsRe: Godwin Hosea, Bullet Proof Manufacturer- Policeman Decorated With New Rank:Photo by benardtotti(m): 10:10pm On Aug 31, 2015
am sure his mates were laughing at him when he was working hard to get this jacket done, they were busy drinking beer and looking for #20 naira bribe, now they will have to salute him " shun sir!!' for the rest of their days, while he keeps progressing, moral of the story; dont let anyone laugh at your dreams and then you get discouraged, rather, the more they laugh, the more you should prove them wrong.
SportsRe: AFROBASKET2015 FINAL: Nigeria Vs. Angola 74 - 65 On 30th August 2015 by benardtotti(m): 11:23pm On Aug 30, 2015
so now we need to fortify towards the olympics, congrats D'tigers!!!!! congrats NIGERIAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SportsRe: AFROBASKET2015 FINAL: Nigeria Vs. Angola 74 - 65 On 30th August 2015 by benardtotti(m): 9:52pm On Aug 30, 2015
did i just hear shakiti bobo as background theme music cheesy
Educational ServicesRe: Study Law Degree @ Abbeam University,january 2016 admission on!!! by benardtotti(op): 8:58am On Aug 21, 2015
benardtotti:
get yourself a quality degree, contact me for more info.
Educational ServicesRe: Get A Student Visa + Scholarship To Study In India,china,austria ,UKAnd Canada! by benardtotti(op): 8:57am On Aug 21, 2015
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Educational ServicesRe: Get A Student Visa + Scholarship To Study In India,china,austria ,UKAnd Canada! by benardtotti(op): 12:09pm On Aug 12, 2015
cyprus, india, spain added to our list, also get your msc or phd in australia, we are available to guide you through the process,call 08033679526 now!
PoliticsRe: President Says Ministers Won't Award Contracts Again by benardtotti(m): 1:57am On Jul 26, 2015
That's a very bold move and it makes a lot of sense.
Phone/Internet MarketRe: Order For Your Phones And Other Accessories From Jumia by benardtotti(m): 8:00pm On Jul 19, 2015
dominique:
I'll recommend Hot not pro as it has a larger screen and a wider internal memory of 32gb. Hot Note has 16gb. Both phones have fantastic battery life. Hot Note costs N24,800 while hot note pro costs N28,000. I'll add you up on whatsapp.
ok thanks would be expecting.
Phone/Internet MarketRe: Order For Your Phones And Other Accessories From Jumia by benardtotti(m): 3:15am On Jul 19, 2015
Dominique can u buzz me : 08033679526, I need infinix hot note or hot note pro, which do u think is better?
Educational ServicesRe: Admission Is On Into Abbeam Uni,ghana(24hr Admission Process)4 January session by benardtotti(op): 12:55am On Jul 10, 2015
Admission available contact me now .
PoliticsRe: Boko Haram: “We Are Open To Negotiations” – FG by benardtotti(m): 5:17am On Jul 04, 2015
HungerBAD:
I don't know why i had always assumed that you are a mature person on Nairaland, maybe it is because of the way you write on the Politics Section. But this insult is uncalled for, and have actually shown you for what you are, a Child.

Grown ups have intellectual discuss.

Iran is designated by the United States Dept of States as being a Sponsor Of Terror( in a lay man term TERRORIST), and your question on what does the negotiation of the release of a prisoner equates to them stopping terror? everything.

The KEY word here is "NEGOTIATION"

If a terrorist organization can be negotiated with to release a prisoner, that window of opening too can be used too for the negotiation for them to renounce their ideology. When was the last time you heard that the Talibans launched an attack anywhere in the World? there are those in the terrorist realm who are actually the indoctrinators of terror ideas, make them change their minds and the followers will fall like pack of cards.

To your question that which Countries negotiates with Terrorist. All actually.

Outside the spheres of Nairaland, we actually don't know what each of us does for a living. There are Nigerians that are Nairaland Members,hold other Nationality, work for some Western Govt agencies and are very privy to a lot of information you Barcanista will find shocking if made Public, but which to a layman might sound unbelievably incredulous.

We will leave it at that.

Believe it or not, all WESTERN COUNTRIES Negotiate with Terrorists, far away from the public eyes and i will no longer comment on this topic.
my brother, too many half baked analysts on nairaland,that's why instead of the dumbo barcanista researching or consulting experts on international relations, he is busy thinking google can supply all his answers, very dumb guy, only dullards lazy to do research will take him serious or shout that this option of negotiation is a bad one,the world is more complicated than what the ordinary eye sees,that's why I hardly comment on d politics section of nairaland, cos I will sound too complex to majority.
PoliticsRe: Osinbajo Meets With Boko Haram Victims In Maiduguri (graphic Pics) by benardtotti(m): 12:47am On Jul 02, 2015
Flashh:
Is he playing there? huh

Your common sense didn't tell you this is part of what a VP had to do.
common sense is not common bro.
PoliticsRe: Cleaning Pdp’s Mess Requires Painstaking Planning – Presidency by benardtotti(m): 10:50pm On Jun 28, 2015
This is a masterpiece!!!!!! Time will tell, very soon , metuh would find it hard to defend pdp cos the truth of the rot shall be revealed soon, to all good citizens of nigeria, don't loose hope ,do not let the noise of the rabble rousers drown you, they want to distract you from the real issues on ground, stay focused! Stay strong! Its always darkest before the dawn, a new nigeria is about to be born. #stillteamBuhari.
PoliticsRe: Cleaning Pdp’s Augean Stable By Femi Adesina by benardtotti(m): 8:31pm On Jun 28, 2015
This is a masterpiece!!!!!! Time will tell, very soon , metuh would find it hard to defend pdp cos the truth of the rot shall be revealed soon, to all good citizens of nigeria, don't loose hope ,do not let the noise of the rabble rousers drown you, they want to distract you from the real issues on ground, stay focused! Stay strong! Its always darkest before the dawn, a new nigeria is about to be born. #stillteamBuhari.
Educational ServicesRe: Get A Student Visa + Scholarship To Study In India,china,austria ,UKAnd Canada! by benardtotti(op): 1:18pm On Jun 27, 2015
benardtotti:
Get yourself quality Education, apply to study in any of the following countries: India,China,Austria or Canada, let us do the real work for you stress free!!!
For more info contact:Godson(Ben): 09028534363 or 08033679526 ,or 09028534363.( you can also whatsapp us on either number)
Are you looking for Admissions to study in India,malta,Canada,Uk come September with scholarship as low as 50% discount? School fees can be paid in installmental basis and a part time job placement in the school.Then this is your opportunity to GRAB! Call us NOW

YOU CAN NOW VISIT OUR OFFICE AT 14A,BAYO DEJONWO CLOSE,MARYLAND ESTATE. ( 9 - 4PM ,MONDAY-FRIDAY).
Educational ServicesRe: Get A Student Visa + Scholarship To Study In India,china,austria ,UKAnd Canada! by benardtotti(op): 1:18pm On Jun 27, 2015
[quote author=benardtotti post=34434657][/quote]
AutosRe: Distress Sale 10 Months Old Highlander by benardtotti(m): 1:12am On Jun 11, 2015
Just as shadowgwalker has stated its second hand bro , I can offer 850k cash down! Just say YES!!!! And I shall call u.
Educational ServicesRe: Get A Student Visa + Scholarship To Study In India,china,austria ,UKAnd Canada! by benardtotti(op): 9:00pm On Jun 04, 2015
benardtotti:
Get yourself quality Education, apply to study in any of the following countries: India,China,Austria or Canada, let us do the real work for you stress free!!!
For more info contact:Godson(Ben): 09028534363 or 08033679526 ,or 09028534363.( you can also whatsapp us on either number)
Are you looking for Admissions to study in India,malta,Canada,Uk come September with scholarship as low as 50% discount? School fees can be paid in installmental basis and a part time job placement in the school.Then this is your opportunity to GRAB! Call us NOW

YOU CAN NOW VISIT OUR OFFICE AT 14A,BAYO DEJONWO CLOSE,MARYLAND ESTATE. ( 9 - 4PM ,MONDAY-FRIDAY).
Educational ServicesRe: Admission Is On Into Abbeam Uni,ghana(24hr Admission Process)4 January session by benardtotti(op): 9:00pm On Jun 04, 2015
benardtotti:
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For application forms or further information contact: Ben: 08033679526 or 09028534363 ( call or whatsapp any of the numbers)

you can visit us for further counsellling and details at : 14a,Bayo Dejonwo street, maryland estate, maryland, lagos.
BusinessRe: Nairaland Contractors Lounge by benardtotti(m): 2:07am On Jun 02, 2015
Mexense:
good stuff you guys have here. I've been secretly following and getting my stuff together.

Guys, I've been in business for sometime now. As hardwork, prayers, God and luck will have it we've gotten a big break.

We successfully won an LPO to manufacture and supply packaging bag for a multinational company in Lagos.

Our problem now is financing the LPO. We only want part funding as we can provide the rest. The banks have been rubbish. Guys can anyone come our aid. We can negotiate interests and other details.

I look forward ro your enquiries

Cheers guys
hello bro, add me on whatsapp I think I can get u funding from n angel investor, my number: +2348033679526

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