₦airaland Forum

enigma2007:
You mean young.. Those game consoles are old o!

You won't understand

Caracta:
What are they saying?

Thank goodness I'm not alone. I feel old

Hope investigations this time around will be thorough

What I miss most is roasted plaintain. Most of the foods listed there can be gotten in African markets. As a matter of fact, I cook Nigerian meals most of the times

lastpage:
This is another fallacy of marriage.

Wife works and earn income, Husbands work and earn income.
Why is it that it is only the husband/man that is expected to have a WILL?
Why are wives/women not encouraged to have a WILL...... or dont they have assets as well (Maybe that is a pointer to how wasteful most of them are, after all, they also earn income like their husband and the "equally-shyte" says what a man can do, a woman should also be able to do, right?

Again, insisting that your husband have a will presumes that you are "sure" that he will die before you (and hence the need to have a WILL that gives his assets to you the wife; never mind the fact that women use the children as a ready excuse that they are protecting the children)....


This makes one to wonder whether women have actually "perfected the art/science" of ensuring that their husband "die early" or at least before them!
Just as in many places, in Benin, na so-so "mama landlady" you go dey hear for all the streets, wetin happen to the "baba landlord" naah?

If you insist thats your husband makes a will, then you the wife must also make a will.
I dont want to mention the high rate of women who insists that their husband take a life insurance (the excuse is that "incase something happens to you, the children will have something to eat) ...only to be the same ones who engineer the death of their husband!

Like so many men nowadays, l still remember the story of that lovely man at Ikeja Computer Village who owns KAVEX COMPUTERS where we use to buy computer stuffs back in the days. Was it not his wife who organized his assassination (by her own mouth confessions in court, only to blame the darn Devil!) ?
yet the same woman would inherit his sweat, through his WILL and LIFE INSURANCE after some crocodile tears for a few weeks!

I hope men of this generation will be smart and use their brain, instead of letting that swelling "third leg" to control their head.
Marriage as presently constituted and implemented, makes the man an endangered specie..... xcept if you are smart and ready to shine your eye, even as you profess "love-wantintin" to your wife.

Nuff Said, a thousand words cannot fill-up a basket, as we say.


Lastpage!

Where in my post did I insinuate that a woman shouldn't have a will. The topic says married men, so I tried to stick to the topic but I guess you read a different meaning to what I typed.

I believe in hard work, no matter if you are male or female. Anyone can die before their spouse, be it male or female. Having a will as an human being just makes the lives of your dependants easier after you pass away. Dependants may be your kids, spouse or even your house help. What happens if both parents die at the same time and there is no provision for the kids they left behind? We live in an incertain world so it's not a bad idea for parents to try their best to make the lives of their children, especially the ones that aren't yet adults, easier. Hope you now get my point?

Not having a will. Lots of widows and fatherless children are suffering today because their husbands and fathers failed to plan for their future

100% hilarious

Obama hooks Mugabe!

OCTAVO:
I think I've learnt a lot from Caracta. I prefer a 30 day tenor FD to a 91 day tenor TB.

A 30 day tenor is better, it allows for more flexibility in case you change your mind after a few months. But be sure to inform your bank to rollover both the capital and interest accrued

Phema:
Behave like the walking d1ck that he is till God has mercy on his wife and answers her prayers.

This is killing

In summary, plan very well as its not always greener on the other side

kilode100:
How is it humiliating for Toke ? ... He is the who messed up not her.

Of course he messed up not her. Just trying to figure out why her husband will choose to go back to his Ex, seems like he never really got over her. I just pray Toke finds peace

If this is true, its humiliating for Toke

The only thing I find interesting on this thread is the number of likes the comments are getting

Another APC/PDP war

MythAngel:
This girl is even ignorant .... Which fact established that white came from black ... In reality there wasn't black from the start . it was from variation that the black skin surfaced ... Mulattos were most probably the first race . Why? Because mulattos holds the cork tail to produce the diverse race we have today... The whole variation falls within what we mathematically call a NORMAL CURVE ..
Left to me the girl has been on a resentment spree against the whites and so do anyone appreciating her bile words. We should look beyond using abuse to prove ur point ... Moreover no point to prove .for weather you white or you black the same thing befall us all... They die we die.. So what superiority there is? For even a white man would be willing to change to black if his option were : remain white and you die. Surely a living dog better than a dead lion ..

Did you just compare being black to a living dog or are you just citing an example?

Ok

lovelymam:
My husband is not a talking type he likes keeping it to himself and is not helping the matter. How can you know when things go wrong if he didn't open up. I'm not a lazy type. I had a business centre before it was demolished. I know I may b stubborn at early stage of marriage of which every newly married couple experience that but not any more. All my prayer everyday is God change my weaknesses. May b I'm giving him too much attention. All I want is to engage myself with something again but he refused that since I started staying at home with kids that they hardly fall sick. Yes he pays monthly salary but money is not my problem. Respect me a little please. All I want is a happy home. I want to work again, I want to be financial independent. Let me go out like other women instead of sitting at home everyday. I'm not used to this kind of lifestyle no one knows tomorrow as you know an idle mind is devil's workshop. I'm I asking for too much.

Note: nairaland is a faceless forum before I come here I believe to get the help I need of which if I keep on lieing it won't help me in any way because I know I'm doing myself. Thanks

Now that you explained I see where you are coming from. I think you feel caged, you've been used to a certain kind of lifestyle and being a stay at home mom is not your thing. Permit me to say you can never give your husband /wife too much attention. Since you said he is a quiet man by nature, you are the outgoing type, good. You can't force him to open up a business venture for you and I won't advise you to go ahead and start a business on your own because he may see it as rebellion. You can choose to complain about him for the whole world to see, guess what, it may not change a thing!

Look past the difficulties of this marriage and look around you for activities you can engage in, it may be non profit organizations where you can volunteer and keep your mind busy. Let him know it won't negatively affect your kids and assure him that you will apply wisdom. You can make the transition gradual thing. Join a fellowship if you are the religious type. If not, the NGO or skill acquisition thing can be helpful. I have a childhood friend whose husband stopped banned her from working and she started writing at home. She now has two published books to her credit and another one in the pipeline. Maybe its time for you to also look inwards, it may not be something that'll fetch you money instantly but will definitely give you a sense of fulfilment. Every human being yearns for that feeling.

About him respecting you, respect is earned. I don't know how both of you operate but I'll just advise that as much as possible give him his due respect. If he wants space, and for example, doesn't feel like talking, allow him. Your number one duty to yourself is to be happy and that is not tied to anyone or any material thing you possess.

I really wish you divine direction because these breed of men require tact to live with

And these are the same people that employ Nigerians and mistreat them

Babymama1:
I support her totally
That is pure abuse of a wife
If this is her stand she needs to stick to it from day one
Call the girl by her baptismal name and if she refuses to answer,she has the right to send her back to her mother's house


In the Igbo culture it is expected that a new wife will wake up and sweep the house and compound
Well I didn't
There were kids in that compound and I expected them to do the sweeping and they did
The younger serve the older never the other way around
You set your precedent and it will go that way from day one

@ bolded, Wisdom is the principal thing. As a personal rule I dont start what i can't sustain. Not every family takes all these things seriously. There are more important things to worry about
Besides every culture has some practices that may not be too relevant these days

The real problem is not the man changing all of a sudden. So many things went wrong both ways before it dawned on you. Search inwards, what went wrong with your line of communication? Has the affection shifted to your kids? Do you sometimes nag? Its easy to nag and not even know you do so. Do both of you create enough time for each other? How appealing do you make yourself? How often do you get intimate? Did he show subtle signs before you got married? Sometimes we choose to see only what we want to see while dating our spouses

You said you've tried talking to him. How? You may be talking but not communicating. Stop the pity party because it won't help your mental state, you don't want to slip into depression and its not good for your kids either.

Please note that i'm not saying its all your fault but it takes two to make a good marriage work. There are a lot of questions you need to really ask yourself and maybe if you are more open, you can get some help here. I think it also helps if you make yourself more resourceful, you can get busy with activities that won't make you feel bored while you try to put your life together

Good luck!

That was a very expensive stunt NTA pulled

veave:
As i dey so my body dey hot like fire. Anybody wey do anyhow e go shock. I go show am anyhow. Before you change am for me, I go change am for you 10 times. If you try nonsense you go collect. Mtchwwwww. Fear no dey catch you? My type of people dey una village? So make I chop your sh.iii.t becos sey na husband i dey fine. You never see anything, you dey look me like gentle geh because i dey sing for church. Just try yourself first. Try am.

Wetin happen na? Biko take am easy

ClassicQueen:
Hi all....nice thread ive been reading the pages for days now though i am not yet through. please i have an issue...


i will be meeting my Fiancee mum next Month for the first time he is frm south west and i am from South-south. I have spent five years of my life in the west i did my higher institution here and i stay in Lagos working but i understand Yoruba more than i can speak. He has told me alot about his mum and i know she dosnt understand English well but i am really looking forward to meeting her...i must confess i am shy and nervous at the same time i dunno how to go about it. I have met all his siblings just his mum i am yet to meet. The family seems nice they all love me i just hope the mum will love me too.


Please i want the women in the house to lecture me abit about the dos and dont, my dress code, behaviour, etc. when i finally meet his mum.


Yes i know ppl from the west like respect a lot . Thanks

A gown should solve the dress code problem, don't stress it. Like someone said, its advisable you kneel down to greet her, usually a good mother in law will even lift you up before you reach the ground. Mine did. As for it not being a part of your culture, I do understand but doing it won't hurt and remember that once you marry a man, you marry into his family, his culture and every other thing that comes with him

If you can't buy her a fabric, you can get beverage or fruits. Just don't overdo it and be sure its something you can sustain as time goes on. Pack up your dishes when you finish eating and try to feel free. You will be fine

Baby 1

Bros you have bought tura soap not dettol