₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Defends the family from what exactly?

Her contributions were according to their marriage agreement ofcourse.

Defend his family from external aggression. Oh i see. So your father normally does the dishes, cooks and washes your mothers clothes?

Kobojunkie:
Yes, their marriage was a partnership where they saw themselves equally contributing to the success and upkeep of the family in their agreed upon way.

Who defends the family when the need arises and what were your mothers contributions exactly?

Kobojunkie:
So, you didn't care to ask her but did she at least teach you that women are meant to submit to you? Or you simply assumed this had to be the case?

Submission made no sense in our case since my father and mother saw themselves as partners/equals in their marriage agreement - not a master/slave relationship.

She taught me that women are suppose to submit to their men using her relationship with my father as a mirror.
Your father and mother are equals?

Kobojunkie:
You watched your mother submit to your father and you never once felt to ask her why she did what she did?

Sorry, my father and mother were both educated partners in their relationship.

I never had to ask because she was properly loved and cherished by my father. Being a nurse didn't stop her from submitting to my dads authority as the man of the house. For the records they are both highly educated too.
So what stopped your mother from submitting to your father's authority?

Cheasystickylov:
Dear martinez, please kindly send me a mail request. I need your strong advice please.
This is my story
Hello all, please all I need is your candid advice. I do not think this is the time to ask me rhetorical questions. I would have answered all those questions before the end of the epistle.
I do not sincerely if to quit my marriage or jut keep hoping that things will change in the nearest future.
I dated my wife for three years before got married in 2006. I can say without exaggeration that it has been war, except occasionally when peace will just reign for a short period of time.
Sadly I got a job in a multinational and we moved to Germany in 2014 and that just worsened everything. This made her to acquired more powers to do what ever she likes.
My wife is someone that literally fights with every single person.
During our dating, she exhibited so many of these characters. Despite all these red signs, I somehow just continued rather foolishly in the relationship hoping things will get better. This was not also helped by the pastor of our church who ensured that the relationship continued, he gave very many biblical examples including forgiving someone 7 times 77 times. I must also state that her mother was an elder in the church. So the action of the pastor is understandable.
We eventually got married, and it has been sorry tears and blood. We were able to have 3 children, and the eldest is 11 years, the youngest is 7 years.
My wife disrespects every single living thing I say, every one of them, she can insult me in public without giving a damn. I can not list all the scenario. Just to emphasize this point, her eldest brother and sisters have cautioned her many times , in my house and even when we visit them. To further emphasize, her eldest sister’s husband stop us from coming to his house because he said he can does not just bear the insults and the manner she disrespects me.
We can not have a heart to heart discussion, she is always not ready, or when we talk she just tell me to summarize, or she ignores me completely.
I have suggested counselling, however, she simply refused.
We can stay in the house for months without talking to each other, I have and still has always been the one that tries to initiate peace. Sadly most times she doesn’t even listen and walk away.
She keep male friends that I do not even have any real relationship with them, even if I try to caution her, she screams back. I have actually stopped trying to caution her, I just leave her alone with them. The latest now is a pastor who prays for her for the past 5 years, sadly the pastor and I have never had any conversation for all these years. I demanded for his number 2 years ago, she refused as usual, so I just allow her be. Of course their has been one or two case of suspected infidelity, initially when I asked she just ignored me and was even screaming. I gave her deadline of 5 days and she later cam to me to explain. Although there were still many grey areas.

The sad part is that, there is no single family member to even look into the matter
1.Her step brothers and sisters- they are not in talking terms.
2.Her mum- her mum dare not !
3.Her uncle- She is not in talking terms with any of them
4.Her Aunt-the same story, not in talking terms with them

She does not really have any close per say, and occasionally attend church online. I wish does attend a physical church, her pastor would have been the next person that might probably look into it.

Sadly she believes every one of these people including me have a problem. She feels she is right and we are all just evil people.

I am so confused and frustrated. I do not know exactly what to do.

Can you honestly state 3 reasons why you are scared of leaving your wife besides the financial implications and your kids?

Kobojunkie:
But where did your own mother get that idea from to teach it to you?

From my father. I watched her submit to my father as the man of the house.

You watched your father submit to your mother?

Jashub:
So you're using this low-IQ Nairaland as a metric for statistical analysis regarding feminism? Lol...please go to other public forums(like Twitter or Reddit) and come back and tell me otherwise

You're taking her seriously? You get time oh. Watch and see how she tries to rationalise her stupidity.

Kobojunkie:
By what law or ruling?

Refer that question to your mother. Evidence of failed parenting.

Novemberaura:
I'm in love with feminist and want to marry her.

I'm asking cux I just want other people view

How can you love a feminist? She's clearly manipulating you. Anyway, i hope you don't learn the hard way.
For fu.cks sakes who considers a feminist a wifey material in the 21st century? Funny man

Kobojunkie:
Men don't submit because?

Women are to submit because?

Women are to submit to men because they are women. Deal with it.

BigBashiru:
I agree with you in that a 20yo could be ready for marriage but then her parents won't let her saying: "she needs to finish school and nysc" by then she's 24....

Hmmm

crystalmoon:
simps will always learn their lesson after all the right things is to marry mature women 18 year old virgin will later cheat. Note the sarcasm

Ofcourse, why marry virgins when they are greatly inexperienced, dirty, uncouth and egotistic. .
Why go through the burden of getting a virgin when you can get a more mature and experienced 30 year old woman for a wife?

Pun intended.

BigBashiru:
Not only that but it also breaches trust....

Trust? You trust women? You trust a being whose emotions dictate their every actions?

Christians will perpetually remain sacrificial lambs to muslims in Nigeria until they learn to fight back.

BigBashiru:
Let me ask you a question. Pls respond honestly... Would you marry a woman that lied about her age?? And why??

I can't marry a woman that lied to me about her age becuase who knows what other secrets she's hiding behind closed doors? It's highly disrespectful for a woman to lie to her man. It's an unforgivable sin.

BigBashiru:
You have a good point here oh.... very good point. I also think it speaks to the woman's real character for her to want me to work to her timeline.... as opposed to letting things flow naturally....I.e. for her to have asked me after just 6 months of telephone long distance talking what plans I hv....

She's desperate. Clearly she thought she had suceeded in manipulating you to do her biddings. Run away from desperate women at all cost, they are not to be toyed with. They can go any length to achieve their aim. Avoid them like a plague.

crystalmoon:
after all age is just a number and jail is just a room

My brother no mind dem. I don tire with all this their analogies. When it boils down to women, age matters alot. That is how some of them will foolishly get married to a 35 old woman and be praying for fruit of the womb. Lol

BigBashiru:
Females that are 21 - 25 years old are not ready to settle down.... this is the harsh truth. This is for a number of reasons:

1. Still a lot of options as guys flock and approach her everyday.
2. Still thinking she has a lot of time.
3. Her parents "wanting her to finish school"
4. Her parents thinking she is still too young etc.
5. Still thinking she can get a better man.

21-25 year olds are girlfriends not wives....

What type of women do you guys meet for crying out loud? Stop dating or considering street/poor girls as prospective wifey materials because they aren't. Like i earlier stated 'sensible' women between the ages of 21 to 25 not just anyhow street biitch whose families are probably still struggling.
Nowadays, they are more women graduating from the universities at 19.
Most sensible girls from rich/ middle class homes are graduates already before they turn 21 years of age. You should work your ass out to be that high value man she would want to settle down with at 21.

Marrying a 30 year old woman is like settling for a naija use car when you can afford a better tear rubber car. It's a major disservice to ones soul.

You disrespect your physical and spiritual self the moment you decide to settle down with a 30 year old woman because she has nothing to offer you.

A womans worth is in her youthfulness, her body, her ability to be feminine, her ability to be easily agreeable, submissiveness and loyal. not in her career, Phds and societal placement. Know the difference.

A 30 year old woman in the sexual market place is worthless.

Very funny

IntelChief:
I had been dating this girl for some time now. And she is a very beautiful girl (or so I thought).

But last week, she invited me over to her family house. My God!!!, you need to see her immediate younger sister. She is a perfect example of what I want in a woman.

Since last week, I've caught myself several times thinking of my babe's younger sister and wishing I met her first. But am feeling guilty at thesame time.

Then go after your babes younger sister na. There's nothing absolutely wrong with in doing that. women do this things all the time and it's never a problem. Go for her

BigBashiru:
Lol age is just a number... its not even about that.
The question is why should I align with her time frame?

I dont have a problem marrying a 30 year old woman.... but wanting me to align to her own timeframe is what I dont want which is more of a redflag.

I dont mock babes for age - its not cool - guys should stop doing that.

Some are 30 and unmarried due to life circumstances.

I quoted that 'F' moniker not you. For the records age isn't just a number, a womans past can impact your present and future both positively and negatively. You should have a problem marrying a 30 year old woman. What does a 30 year old woman has to offer you that a good/sensible 21-25 year old woman can't?

DBestDoc:
Keep deceiving yourself while claiming redpill

You said she looks 30 already yeah?
So in your head, you expected a 30 yr old lady to keep wasting her time with you when you clearly told her you have no long term intentions for her? Did you really expect that she would keep communicating with you while entertaining new love interests? So that tomorrow, you’ll either call her a cheat or an evening news paper.

The girl is a sincere person and not ready to mess around. Reason she told you from beginning that she wants marriage and not the foolishness people do in the name of dating.

You better wake up and look for a younger girl that’s not ready for marriage yet since that’s where you’re at now. The said lady did nothing to you to deserve the venom you’re spewing. She needed clarity of purpose after 6 whole months of dating, you gave it and she made her choice.

Only if you boys know how you sound each time you mention Redpill ee, Clowns!

If she's half as decent as you portray her to be, how come she's almost 30 and unmarried?

Long live the redpill.

Alhabaze:
Just like being fit is attractive, keeping beard looks good on most men. Women don't like sharing their men. An attractive man would attract them girls which the wife won't be okay with. In short, she's trying to ensure her husband doesn't look so attractive (trying to averse your comment) to have other potential chicks at his beck & call.

You're right man

See finish is the reason.

Morrigan008:
blood

Homosexuality is not a flex, get your senses in order, visit a therapist so your previous bad experiences with men can be fixed. Goodluck.

Morrigan008:
you actually don't get it do you id you like weep and scream it doesn't chande the fact that ignorant loony empty homophobic simpletons like you are mentally derailed,ret@rded, disillusioned, unbalanced and unstable
Forgive and forget the women that has shattered your heart to pieces in the past and present and continue with your leftover life. All this pains, hurts,sorrows and agony you are displaying in my post here is giving me joy and orgasm
I love your shedding of blood too to be honest

Tears

Morrigan008:
you are just an empty loony messed up and depressed homophobic nitwit simpleton

Disastrous, deadly fatal lethal anal raping to all messed up homophobes like you

You don't get it do you? If you like wail until next year and it still won't change the fact that homosexuality is a mental disorder.
Forgive the men that have wronged you in the past, and move on with your life. It's that simple. All the bitterness you're displaying here is making me happy anyway. I love your tears too sha i won't lie

Emmy417:
Thanks bro!
I think this simp of a thing could be as a result of been trained by my mom alone. No man in my life to scold me etc. Well, she really tried in training me. She did a very very good job. It wasn't easy then at all!! But I ve come to realise in this life, that been too sissy in life, people wouldal always takeadvantage.

I'm glad you left her silly ass. it's not over yet bro, she'll continue using your son (if at all he's yours) to blackmail you. Don't give in, maintain frame. Put yourself first in everything you do.

Morrigan008:
idiot
You are hurt, and you will forever be defeated in your life
Listen you son of a bitch you are a loser
For the records people were born gay, you moronic ret@rd
What makes you attracted to a gender??!
What sterms up your desire when you see a beauty to behold??!
Whatakes your organ erect when you are aroused, I guess someone taught you that as well blockheaded dunce
You wouldnt comprehend because your brain and thinking faculty is severely ravaged and incapacitated
Being an ignorant nutcase homophobe is a serious dementia that needs to be treated ASAP
invels like you have mummy and daddy issues
Forgive and forget your past especially the women that shattered your heart to pieces beyond repair restore to health and return back to sanity

Yen yen yen, bla bla bla. Nobody was born gay, a persons sexual orientation is greatly influenced by his immediate and surrounding environment. Stop being emotional and accept the truth

Morrigan008:
casted down, subdued, pin to the ground and hurt lol

Lol. Pained looser. .
For the records, nobody was born gay. It doesn't matter how well people like you want to sugar coat it, being gay is a mental disorder.
Ladies like you have daddy issues.
forgive your past, especially the men that dealt with your heart, heal and then turn a new leaf.
Life is not that difficult. is it?

Morrigan008:
sharrap
I won and defeated him hands down choke in it

Pained looser. Lol