₦airaland Forum

MariaLavina:
This is how Narcissicus started, we all know how he ended *inserts witches laugh *

You're not Narcissicus. This is how people keep judging themselves and how they will end up.

Twoclans:
In this game of life you need to really like yourself before anyone can like you. Truth be told once you are in love with who you are you can hardly notice anybody.

On point. Though I think you'll still have to notice people so you can live comfortably.

DeadRat:
Any Thing About Self Liking, na There We De See You...

hahaha.. Is that so?

makydebbie:
So op, I feel this article.

If only we know how people easily forget the dead, we'll stop living to please people.


Overcome the fear of what others think, their opinions don't really matter. Once you can do that unapologetically and stop taking what people say personal, you'll be one powerful person. You only live once, so what's the point in trying to prove yourself to others when they would forget you that moment and move on to the next thing in their agenda.

People who live for the camera are considered fake imo. They're never happy. Because whatever decision they want to make, their main aim is, will these guys like it? Even when those guys don't care most time. They hail you, so what's next? They move on with their lives but the question is, are you happy? Are you proud of what you're doing? Do you find fulfillment in it? Go for it.


Trying to please people is like pouring water in a basket, they'll rebrand you into what they want. Do what makes you happy, do it unapologetically, don't dim your shine because of what people think, they really don't care and don't matter too.

The ultimate goal is to be happy, but don't be lost in it. You first, before anyone else.

This is lovely.. can we be friends?

We live in a world where many people want to be liked. We want to be seen and appreciated. We want other people to like the good things about us and appreciate our unique gifts or talents.

This isn't a bad thing. Who doesn't want to be liked by others? Being likeable to many people is actually an advantage for you.

A problem only arises out of this normal human desire when you focus on other people liking you without liking yourself first.

This is where many of us get it all wrong. When you crave for other people to like you, but you don't even like yourself at all.

There was this young lady who was obsessed with men liking her. She did everything to get a man's heart and keep the man to herself, but all the men she kept dating left her after sometime.

This happened repeatedly and it took some counseling for the girl to understand what the problem really was.

She didn't like herself at all. And therefore, she thought that getting those likes from men outside would help her fill up the emptiness she felt by being unhappy with herself.

She failed to understand that it was impossible to fill herself up with something that is not already within her.

The men she had met somehow felt that emptiness and lack of happiness about herself in her heart and that somehow pushed them way.

"Whatever you don't have inside of you will always manifest itself."

A chat with a counselor revealed that the girl didn't like herself, her background and the way she looked. The counselor advised her to try something new.

He told her to make a conscious decision to start loving and appreciating herself the way she was without waiting on any man to do it it for her. She also told her to extend this attitude to whatever things about her that she resented.

It was difficult for this young lady to practice this exercise. I mean, all her life, she has been used to not liking herself the way she was, the force of habit was already working in her.

A day, two days, one week.. She kept on trying even though she fell back to the attitude sometimes. But whenever she was conscious of her decision, she will feel good about herself and appreciate the way she is.

That was how her life started transforming for good after some time . She reported back to the counselor months later and was filled with lots of good news.

She reported that people started being nice to her even without her trying too hard to please them. She started to discover some gifts about herself that she never paid attention to.

She generally felt better and she is happier because she wasn't really expecting much from the outside anymore. She had learnt to generate a natural liking for herself from within.

The experience of this young lady isn't so different from what many of us experience. You might be a man experiencing the same thing. It might not be exactly her case, but you might be battling with something similar which stems from not liking who you are.

Look, it's a must that you possess that natural likeness for your own self. When it comes from yourself, you won't need to depend on external validation or acceptance to feel good about who you are.

If you dress up in a nice cloth, compliment yourself first! Look yourself in the mirror and say "You look awesome." Don't wait for anybody to say it to you first.

If you post something on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, be the first to like it. If you found it worthy of posting, then I can bet that it is an awesome post.
So immediately you post it, like it first. You don't have to wait until someone does that.

You must form the habit of being the first person to appreciate yourself. Like and appreciate yourself by yourself. It will make you feel better and you'll be amazed at how efficient you'll become.

It's not like being liked by others is undesirable. It is desirable and should be enjoyed as an additional bonus. But first, you have to like yourself before any other thing!

I don't know what it is that you don't like about yourself that makes you look down on yourself and expect other people to be the first to tell you how amazing you are.

Is it the way you look? Is it your performance in academics? Is it how you think your life is turning out? Is it your family background? Is it what?

Whatever it is that is making you not to like yourself as God has created you to be, I'm saying you should screw all of that. They don't matter at all. They're all garbage.

Whatever reason that is making you to feel bad about yourself should be thrashed. You should completely ignore it and try liking yourself first for who you are.

Appreciate whatever little things you're grateful for in your life. See the good in yourself. Always see the good in yourself. Because you get more of what you see.

Eckart Tolle said and I quote "Acknowledging all the good that you already have in your life is the foundation of all abundance."

How many people are acknowledging the good in their lives? Many are just busy acknowledging only the bad in their lives and the things they don't like. How can such people ever like themselves?

If there's anything that you don't like about yourself, my dear, just accept it if it's something you cannot correct and begin to love it that way.

When you begin to love aspects of yourself that you always hated, you will..

Read the full article here:
https://www.boldwinner.com/2018/04/like-yourself-first.html
More inspiration on www.boldwinner.com

XhosaNostra:
Good for you. Pray that he'll be faithful to you afterwards. Being a virgin doesn't = to preferential treatment or immunity. You'll still face the same marital struggles that a whòre does.

Stop wishing the girl bad luck because she has refused to be a LovePeddler(hoe). Her case could be different. You're not her God simply because you have a different opinion.

Shugarlord213:
And who cares??
Abi them wan help me finish my house

Na u sabi if you like be a poosie nigga

hahaha... okay. The future will be very funny because if most guys share your ideology about Nigerian girls and most girls share a similar ideology about Nigerian guys, then I wonder who will want to ever settle down. let's see how it plays out.

Shugarlord213:
Don’t give a Nigerian girl or lady (Whether working class or student or unemployed or nysc)

Love
Attention
Care
Compliment

You are simply an asslicker if you do that. You think you got a gf or wife... your name na story.

I got no single love for any naija lady as soon as I hear say you be naija, my brain just reset to how I go fuvk you and dump you in a humiliating way and I won’t waste more than 4 days with my car doing most of the job
That is Naija girls for you all of them including working class and students

Just fuvk them and drop them off the busstop where mad people and touts are and zoom off without giving a dime

That’s the way I treat all of them that lust after a guy with a car

Wow.. What a mindset about all Nigerian Ladies. What if the ladies thought the same about you?

ubunja:
what does sex cost you exactly? sweat?

rhetorical question

ubunja:
sex

For the sake of sanity, I will reserve my comments.

Divay22:
2 to 6 I have done.
But when i do them, people think i have other self motives for doing them... But it's just me..


3 and 5 i have done effectively, not once or twice but countless times...
I cry when one ask me directly for help and i can't them.

What people think about your motives when you know you're doing the right thing doesn't matter at all. Keep doing it.

RuthDaniels:
2 3 5 ,I can do
The rest, God help me

lol

G12:
Lol... Time doesn't cost money? You're 100% wrong on that.

Everything isn't money. You should probably not eat, have your bath or relax at all because you could use the time for those necessary things to make money as well.

A few days back, I was having a little chit chat with some of my colleagues at work and one of them was all about how he wanted to make so much money so that he can give it to his loved ones to make them happy.

The way he kept laying emphasis on that made me suspect that he probably thought that giving those people money was the only way he could show that he cared about them.

Well, I had to commend his desire to make millions: it was a good thing, however, I kinda let him see other ways he could also show his care presently before he made those millions.

We live in a world where so many people are crazed about making money at all costs. Some of us think that money is everything. Money is definitely important and believe me, I also desire to have tons of it, but a life with lots of money without meaning, without purpose, without love would be quite boring.

Forgive me for digressing from the main topic. Here are the 6 other things you can give to people which cost you nothing just as I shared with my co-worker:

1. Time
Time is one of our most valuable assets. And that's why many people keep talking about their time being wasted and saying they don't have time. Time is really important and critical in today's world.

With a lot of time on our hands, we could accomplish more. But we humans have been designed to have a limited time to exist here on planet earth, so we want to make the best out of it.

This leads some of us to place all our time on our careers and businesses, forgetting to share and spend time with other people that matter to us.

How do you feel when you spend some time talking to a loving parent, close friend or someone who cares about you? Don't you feel great? Don't you feel happy being around them?

Of course I know your answers. We all love to spend time with people we cherish and if we spend less time with them, our fondness for them wanes without us even knowing it.

So taking some time off your "busy" schedule to meet your friends, loved ones, family or anybody else really means a lot to them. People who care about you are happy that you give them some of your time. You build and strengthen your relationships with your time.

None of us is really as busy as we claim to be sometimes, I believe that no matter how tight our schedules are, it's possible to squeeze out some time to spend with others.

2. Compliment Words

Your words matter. The things you say to other people matters a lot. Think of how this world would be if nobody talked to anybody. If there was no sound or language.

Would be quite weird right? Lol.. Well that's to show you how powerful words are. If saying to someone "You're an idiot." can transform that person from a meek lamb to a roaring lion, I bet you already got the point.

Learn to give complimentary words to people. See something good in them and say it to them. It doesn't cost a thing.

You see most of us find it very easy to see what's wrong with a person and we are quick to point it out and criticize them very quickly.

Damn, some of us need an award or probably an Oscar for fault finding.
But that's not what we should always focus on. Lets learn to see something nice in other people and compliment them genuinely.

I'm yet to see anyone who doesn't love being complimented. Some people pretend like they didn't hear you, but then they go back home with your words in their hearts and they smile when they think about it.

So, you can make a difference in another person's life and show your affection by saying nice things to them when you notice it. You don't have to be a complainer who whines all the time about other people's faults.

3. Help

When was the last time you went out of your way to help someone without being asked? Can you really remember?
Say you're passing by and you notice your neighbor needs a hand to help start up his car, do you wait to be called? Do you offer to help? Or do you just mind your own business and move on?

Or let's say a loved one needs help with setting up stuff for a birthday celebration or naming ceremony, can you offer help to them?

There are many instances I could give here regarding helping people, however my point is just that you don't necessarily need money to help out.

You can offer help by volunteering to handle certain tasks or activities. You can teach them. You can help them in discharging their duties if you're less occupied. It doesn't have to be money.

I mean, who doesn't like to be helped out? It would be difficult for anyone to decline a helping hand when offered one.

People are going through a lot in life alone. Learning to offer a helping hand to them when you can do that is a lovely gift you can give to them.

4. Texting and Calls

Thank God for the internet. Today the world has become a global village and technology is rapidly turning everything upside down.

You can reach out to another person on the other side of the world just by the push of a button or a simple click.

Traditional call and texting rates have dropped ever since the use of the internet became mainstream.
These days you can chat with other people on social media for free with no data whatsoever.

Facebook Video calls, Whatsapp calls, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter.. Just name it. There's no reason not to keep in touch with those who you care about.
The thing is that many people are yet to take advantage of most of these opportunities created by the internet to get closer to people.

We are totally out for business and making money and can't even pick up our smart phones and just chat up people that matter to us.

A simple "hello" or "hi" could start off a wonderful conversation with a brother, sister, lover or a close friend.

You could get access to information that could even lead you to the money you've been pursuing all these years. Lol.

But some of us can't even spare a few seconds to call or text people we cafe about even when calling and texting are almost free these days.
Why not place a call or text that person you care about and you've not spoken to all these while?
You think all they need is money from you? Haha

5. Support and Advice

We all need good advice and support at some point in our lives. No man is an island. No matter how independent we may want to appear, we will still find out that at some point, we need to lean on someone so we can get back on our feet.

So how willing are you to support someone else or offer them good advice?
You don't need always money to support people.

By giving out your fairly used phone to someone else who may need it, or by letting a friend who is yet to stand on his feet stay with you in your house if you can, you've really made a difference in their lives.

You can give away items you no longer need to other people. Why cover up space in your house with unwanted and unused items?

You can offer your advice to other people who you care about and help them better face whatever they are passing through.

6. Attention

How well do you pay attention to the people you claim to love?

Do you care to listen to them when they are saying something or are you just waiting for them to stop talking so you can say your mind?

Do you observe them? Do you notice the look in their eyes when they are down and need to say something to you or you don't even take notice of their disposition?

Do you notice their new hairstyle and the new haircuts? Do you notice their scars or injuries?
Do you notice their change in behavior and the unconscious body movements they make to hint that something is wrong?

Look here Mr, Mrs or Miss.. Paying great attention to people you care about is very important. People love to be noticed and heard even when they say nothing.
Some people don't know how to talk when they are really bothered about something. It will take your careful attention to know that such people aren't feeling okay.

Many words left unsaid are only understood by those who pay attention. You may not be close to them, but in their voices, responses or expressions during calls, you should be attentive enough to decipher those unsaid things.

Being able to pay attention has a lot to do with being emotionally intelligent. That would be topic for another good day.

So there you have it. You can give these 6 things and even more to people for free without spending nothing and it will go a long way in showing how much you care, love and appreciate them.
Keep these ideas in mind as you live your life and just keep winning!

source: http://www.boldwinner.com/2018/03/6-things-you-can-give-which-cost-nothing.html

Read more enlightening articles >>>>HERE<<<<

Cromcruach91:
You know, it is really funny the way the news of a shooting in Nigeria...is greeted with cries about how 'this country is a zoo'.

We live in a democracy, meaning we have the tools to change things. We can join a party, get laws changed, get into power and change things...or form a NGO, and campaign for changes in attitudes.

One Nigerian saw how exam malpractice was rampant in Nigeria. He went and founded an advocacy group to change things. Has exam malpractice diminshed? No...but he saw a problem., and did something.

GloriaNinja and smokedfish, am sure you think that by getting Biafra or by getting restructuring, things will change. But, am sorry to tell you that that is just rebranding bad wine in new bottle...it still tastes awful. Even if you get restructuring, Biafra or whatever, no be the same people that made Nigeria a zoo that you will still be working with.

The funny thing is that these same people will be admiring America...where a teenage gunman, not for the first time, shot dead several of his schoolmates some months ago. Abi America is a zoo, eh? But when they are offered the chance to change things....they will sit down and say that everything is corrupt and they cannot change anything. Well, some people in USA are campaigning for gun control.They have powerful opponents, plus most Americans love their guns...some of their supporters included...yet they won't give up.

I don't like PDP or APC, but I love my country, mess and all. And I will not refer to it as a zoo, or a shitwhatever. Because , despite the mess, we can still make it, if we are willing to use the tools we have, and not wait for some imaginary Superman to save us.

You're smart. Thank you.

Happy Married life Wizy. He who finds a good woman, finds favor from the lord. All the best!

RoyalBlak007:
7. Longest fingernails ever (male and female)

Wolverine would’ve certainly been jealous of these claws! Two U.S. citizens, Melvin Booth and Lee Redmond hold the record for the longest (respectively) male and female nails ever. These things must’ve taken a lot of time to grow.

How do these ones take their bath?

biggy26:
Hard work is not really as hard as it looks. It only refers to your relentless efforts to work tirelessly towards the achievement of your goals and targets.
It involves doing your best at all times to keep improving in what you do. It involves putting your heart and mind to your work, such that your focus is as strong as a high beam laser destroying any obstacle along its path.
If you're really working hard, there's no way you won't be working smart as well except you don't understand what you're doing and then you think it's hard work.

You redefined hard work for me bro, thumbs up! Nice write up.
www.poontoe.com

Thank you biggy

JimaeChinko:
Beautiful!

Awesome!

Lovely!

I'm all smiles

PotatoSalad:
This is true. During my IT (where i worked), the boss will always come to work at 8/8:30. I kept wondering, this man is so rich that if he decides to rest and not come to work, he'll still be rich af (A section of his company brings in 8 to 10 million naira daily)
He comes to work everyday. Always on the phone. The man was always busy and that was one of the things that motivated me. My friends do say that I'm always busy, a workaholic. I know, and I've seen the results of hardwork.

Nice one

DkJay:
Post of the year for me.
All these dudes debunking his claims... Oh, well, I ain't surprised.
Greatness isn't meant for everyone.
#GoHardOrGoHome

Go Hard or go home! Live or die. Thank you brother.

uyiekpenn:
I refuse to beg from my mates or be homeless or without a penny that's why I work hard. Where most people put in 70%, I put in 150%. I'll never sleep until my signature becomes an autograph

Keep up with this spirit, you will get there.

Hotzone:
Hard work to me means being punctual, paying attention to task, completing each and daily task and subsequently, it pays in diverse ways.
1. it attracts recommendation which can move u much higher in the food chain
2. promotion
3. it makes u to be much acquainted to your job.
4. it keeps u away from unnecessary spending rather, u get more money. example, yesterday my boss travelled so most workers didn't come to work but instead of me to be in the house all day, I decided to spend some time at work which later paid unexpectedly with lump sum of money to share with no one!!!!

awesome

Nwaohafia1:
Be your own boss

Exactly, however, you must start from somewhere and it involves hard work.