Sunnymatey:
U are asking for February salary, while l am asking for January and l knw of someone who hasnt been paid October 2016 till date. The primary duty of govt is to loot.

Epositive:
**waits at the doorstep for elders**

lekguit:
am into a very serious relationship which both parent have known us to be wife and husband to be, and we've had so many sex, and it's 100% sure I will get married to her, but because of recession period I need to suspend my wedding, so my question, is it a sin d way we are having sex

And that is relevant to this thread how??

RichieDaVinci01:
After marriage

ntrukpum:
but bikonu... meaning what?

Meaning - But please
And before you go after the op, he talked abut tweaking words, not about writing vernacular.

Enemyofpeace:
This kind of woman cannot and will never be faithful to any man,not even to a horse

What kind of woman is she?

onegig:


If she wanted the marriage, then she wouldn't agree to things that discomforts me. A discomfort to me, is a discomfort to her also.

They are her people and before they handed over the list to me, she must have seen it and vetted it.

onegig:


I won't haggle. At least their daughter knows what i am worth. If they write things that are so exorbitant and she never tried to bring it down nor protest for them to cut it down then I would pay it and we would both "drink the garri" of it during the first few years of the marriage.

Why argue over such?

By the way, i don't support bride price and if there's a way to sideline it. I would glady do it. Would prefer a voluntary gift than some mandated lists.

onegig:


no wonder we are still stuck in the old age in Africa.

Culture is subject to change. Any aspects of culture that's an impediment to growth and well being of such people need to give way. It was culture to kill twins back then, I guess you would still continue with such vile acts because "that's the way it has always been "


Bride price whatever should not be compulsory and not something any right thinking family should be asking for. A gift or token to the lady from the groom is lovely and highly enjoined but asking the groom to bring crazy amounts of items is literarily selling your daughter and is a culture that needs to be scrapped asap no arguments about that.

Outofsync:

I wanted to respond to this sarcastically and whatnot but the wind is blowing, my hands are aching... I don't have the fortitude.

It's a pity you mentioned the dowry system without knowing its original intentions.

A simple google search on "the evils of the dowry system" would convince you. I could drag links here but I'm not in the mood for that.

In any case, your analogy is invalid. I have taken great care to limit it to "African women" and the intial intention of brideprice.

European or Asians do not matter in this light.

If not so, why should a man need to bring valuable goods to a woman's house NECCESARILY before marriage can be consunmated
This implies her value is instrumental. That she can be traded off for the right goods.
Means.....she can be bought.

Like I said, people have different reasons for this. Of course, some of these aren't the real reasons and I acknowledge the greed in the whole thing. But hey! We're humans.
I know of my mom's boss whose daughters' bride prices were all five naira each. Now, they are all highly educated young ladies. What, they were sold for five naira? Seriously? I know the father gave a reason for collecting the money at all but I can't seem to recall. There are no right goods.

I'm getting tired of repeating the same thing honestly...

people incur huge debts over brideprice and no one in the bride's family cares. All they care about is that he brings the tubers of yam and the bags of rice.
Find another plausible reason abeg.

You sidestepped the issue of dowry and brought this up? I still refer to the Indians. What happens to a woman whose family can't pay her dowry? It goes both ways.

I'm honestly tired of this argument.
Can we let it pass and stop derailing my thread??

NoToPile:


Hahaha

40 or 42 yams is the standard where I come from but you can bring above 20 and above I think and they should be healthy looking yams.

Yam and the Fish seems the most expensive thing (apart from the bridal box) in Yoruba bridal list I think.

What they do is they share every item brought by the grooms family into 2 the brides mothers family shares half and the brides father family shares half.

In fact they even use knife to cut eja osan (bridal fish) sometimes its just for those peeps to have a bite

The fruits are shared everything is shared. Some get sugar , some get orange some get Yam and salt. What they get depends on how elderly they are. So at the end of the day the brides parents don't get it all. They seem to make sure the extended family gets something, even if its 2 cups of rice if a bag of rice is in the list.


But if you eat your daughters eru iyawo alone, they will keep on talking about it and most likely won't give you when theirs get married loool.

Outofsync:

The concept of brideprice is selling your daughter into marriage : plain and simple.

That is why if a marriage goes bad, the groom's family usually asks for the dowry back in most cultural tribes.

That is the equivalent of collecting your money back for a faulty product.

And what you "like to think" isn't what it really is.
Why try to delude yourself into thinking brideprice and dowries are romantic gestures and whatnot.

In africa, women are basically property, chattel.

You know, I've been trying to avoid an argument with you but they way you subtly insult others and make it look like you know all is annoying.

I'm glad you know what one thinks isn't really what is. First, DOWRY isn't bride price! There's a difference.

Now, tell us, what do you think of a woman's family, paying a specified amount to her husband-to-be? Like in India?They still selling him?

Bride price payment does not entail the purchase of a woman. I see it instead as a symbolic gesture acknowledging (but not paying off) the husbands permanent debt to the wife's family.

You see, people give different reasons for bride price. Some say it it allows the groom to demonstrate that he has enough financial resources to support the bride (and possibly her family) after the wedding.

In China for example, families privately cite the need for bride price due to the country's lack of a social security net and a one child policy which leaves parents with neither retirement funding nor caretaking if their only child is taken away as brides as well as testing the groom's ability to marry by paying cash and emotionally giving up his resources to the bride.

Publicly, families cite bride price as sustenence in case the man abandons or divorces the wife and that the bride price creates goodwill between families.

zaynie:
Nothing wrong in haggling but when you overcut na there trouble go start.
Eg when they give u a list of 40 yms and you insist on buying 10 kukuma carry the wife for free na.

pcguru1:


Who cares about them not they are the ones the man is marrying. Those men don't work so its annoying when they dictate the price

Outofsync:

I don't really care much for the whole liberal/Conservative schism.

Given the whole trend of information streaming to this country, Brideprice will soon die out anyways.

Don't just try to redefine it like it's something noble with soothing nonsense "Something good not coming easy".

Outofsync:
Technically, the whole concept of brideprice was selling one's daughter into marriage.

So it's wrong to say a wife ain't bought.

Ishilove:

Where were these old men when my parents were sweating to train me?

Anyway, how bloated a brideprice list is, is directly proportional to the avarice level of the bride's family

Phi001:

They are innocent in this context...

thorpido:
If you don't try to negotiate the quantity and to remove some items,are you just going to buy everything?
Dem no dey take shame contract disease o.
Get them to agree to what you can afford.

Well, a wife isn't bought. And if you're thinking of a wife as a product, whether you haggle or not you still buy. Only makes it cheaper

Phi001:

Did people start failing today?


Even when there were no such things as televisions or computers, people were still failing. Don't blame the innocent show.

BBNaija is innocent?

What's your definition of innocent??