₦airaland Forum

Oga enterpro, plz can remove these numbers from ur database so we can buy from another source.

Thanks.

plz what's d current price for MTN 1gig, through card transfer

peacemaranatha:
you make me feel am holding jiayu g4s

plz how much is this jiayu g4s?
THANKS

abeg, dgeasy, blackchampion n co, make una help me win this one oooh.


***Na Kneel down, I kneel down so dey beg una oooh ***

HUSBAND: My wife, where r u?
WIFE: Am at home.
HUSBAND: Turn on d blender.
WIFE: (Turns blender on), reeeereeeeereee
HUSBAND: OK, my love. Gud bye.

*** ANOTHER DAY ***

HUSBAND: my wife, where r u?
WIFE: At home.
HUSBAND: Are u sure?
WIFE: yes
HUSBAND: Turn on d blender
WIFE: (Turns on blender), reeeeereeeereeee.
HUSBAND: OK my love, goodbye.

D next day, d husband decides to come back home unannounced, and finds his son alone n asks him, son where is ur mum?
SON: I don't know, she went out with d blender.

My dear girls that bleach, if your face
doesn't match the one on Angel
Gabriel's laptop on the final day, don't
argue, just go to hell...

EnterPRO:
please contact us on whatsapp for your N300 discount.

@all : slight modification : instead of 250mb, we will now be giving N300 discount.

Thanks for your understanding.

why im come b say na for my turn this thing go come change


Silently watching what's happening...

Finally I won!!!!!!!!!
Oga Enterpro how do I claim my prize


***Dancing shoki***

peawizzy:
Which one is ‘gengen‘ again?

E be like say u no play all those "actor n boss" play when u small, if not u for know wetin "gengen" mean.

callydon:
Gala and Lacasera should be in the First Aid box.

@ eppysold, pope001 n Dygeasy, blackchampion, etc. Abeg, make una help me share my joke so me too go follow win.

Abeg, na beg I dey beg una oooh.

Gala and Lacasera should be in the First Aid box.

In fact I don give up for d joke bonanza issue...

Ologunsunny:
I cant delete from my memory card is righting no permission please help

just reboot ur phone.

A store that sells husbands has just
opened in Zimbabwe, where a woman may
go to choose a husband. Among the
instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates. You
may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of
the men increase as the shopper ascends
the flights. There is, however, a catch ..
You may choose any man from a particular
floor, or you may choose to go up a floor,
but you cannot go back down except to
exit the building! So, a woman goes to the
Husband Store to find a husband .
On the first floor the sign on the door
reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the
Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the
Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the
Lord, love kids, and are extremely good
looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to
keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign
reads:
Floor 4 These men have jobs, love the
Lord, love kids, are good looking and help
with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can
hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign
reads:
Floor 5 These men have jobs, love the
Lord, love kids, are gorgeous, help with the
housework, and have a strong romantic
streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to
the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor 4,363,012 to this
floor. There are no men on this floor. This
floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband
Store. Watch your step as you exit the
building, and have a nice day!

A Yoruba boy who was dating an igbo
girl whose
name was Njideka asked her to lie to
his mum
when he takes her home that her name was Bisi.
He told her his mum had a phobia for
non-Yoruba
people and would never accept her
once she
knows her name was an Igbo girl. She did as he
instructed on sighting the boyfriend's
mum.
She asked her what her name was and
she said
'Bisi' but not without her characteristic thick Igbo
accent. The boy's tribalistic mum was
so happy
that her son was getting married to a
Yoruba girl
ignoring the igbo tone and she said: 'what a lovely
name, your boyfriend's elder brother
too is
Adebisi, his Dad is Olabisi and my best
friend's
name is Omobisi, which of the Bisi is yours?' She
was confused and she replied
Ndubisi... the
woman fainted...

Oga, Enterpro, i think this joke bonanza shud be made in such a way dt one person can't win more than ONCE in a week so dt other guys can also win too.


Sorry "dygeasy" n "eppysold", me too wanna win mb too oooh.

ADMISSION! ADMISSION!!
ADMISSION!!! Diaris God
University of Linguistics. No
UTME, No Post-UTME. Just Waka
come!!

Jeffy1206:
contact me if need one

I said a review NOT d phone itself.

Doubletee13:
Am proudly a Jiayu G4s user and got it from TY, mine is the 2gb/16gb, octacore, 3000mAh battery version, that's the version TY rep and haven't seen her advertise otherwise. Go for Gold.

okay.
Noted!!!

tyconcepts:
[b]*******JIAYU G4S FULL SPECIFICATION*******

HIGHLIGHTS;

* 4.7" IPS 1280*720 px Gorilla glass screen.
* MTK6592 Octa core 1.7ghz, 2GB RAM 16GB ROM.
* Dual Camera:3MP + 13MP BSI CMOS LED flash, Auto-focus.
* 2.9mm super narrow bezels.
* Gyroscope,Compass,Gravity Sensor, Proximity Sensor, Light Sense.
* 3000mAh detachable battery.


Brand : Jiayu

Model : G4s

OS : Android 4.2

CPU : MTK6592 Octa Core 1.7GHZ

GPU : PowerVR SGX 544MP

RAM : 2GB,DDR3
ROM : 16GB

Sim Card : Dual SIM Card Dual Standby

Service Provide : Unlocked

Band : 2G: GSM 850/900/1800/1900MHz
3G: WCDMA 2100MHz

MS mode : WCDMA/GSM

Size:  4.7 inch

Shell Material : Plastic

Screen Information :  Retina screen, 312PPI, IPS screen, Corning II Gorilla Glass,OGS full lamination technology

Resolution : 1280x720 IPS

Screen PPI : 312

Gravity Sensor : Yes

Visible Angle : 178°

Navigation : GPS+AGPS Navigator

Wireless transmission;
3G, WIFI 802.11b/g/n,
Bluetooth 4.0, EDGE, HSDPA, HSUPA
HSUPA     Support 5.76 Mbps
HSDPA     Support 7.2 Mbps/42Mbps

Dual Camera:  Front Camera 3.0M ,13.0M Pixels High definition back camera Auto Forcus

Extend Card : Support TF card up to 64GB extended

USB : USB 2.0

Skype : Yes

Gravity Sensor : Yes

Google Play : Pre-installed

Light sensor : Support

Proximity sensor : Support

Gravity Sensor : Support

Bluetooth : Support

Java Expand : Support

Music/video : Support

WAP Browser : Support

Hand-writing : Support

Multilingual : Support

Email and Browser : Yes, built in

WIFI : 802.11b/802.11g / 802.11n

Earphone Interface : 3.5mm

Video : Video Play with formats of MP4/3GP/3G2/RM/RMVB/ASF/FLAC/APE/MOV etc.

Music : MP3/WMA/FLAC/APE/WAV/RA/Ogg/MIDI/3GP etc.

Ebook : UMD, TXT, PDF, HTML, RTF, FB2…

Weight : 154g

Size : 133*65*10mm (2.9mm narrow bezel, ultra-narrow metal frame)


Box contains;

1 x Jiayu G4s
1 x 3000mAh Battery
1 x Earphone
1 x USB Cable
1 x Charger
1 x User Manual
1 x Silicon Case
1 x OTG Cable
1 x Cable Winder
1 x Phone Holder

https://i1380.photobucket.com/albums/ah175/Akinlade_Seunfunmi_Rukevwe/Mobile%20Uploads/CYMERA_20140812_231010_zps6d2f3c2a.jpg


Price = #34,000[/b]

plz lady T&Y, going through d specs of this phone online I found out dt there r two models of d phone, one has 1gb RAM with 1800mah ba3, while d other has 2gb RAM with 3000mah ba3.

plz confirm d model u are selling, cos my main concern r d RAM n ba3.
THANKS.

25 Rules of driving in Lagos
1. When in doubt, accelerate!
2. Be prepared to ram into anything
stopping you that is wearing uniform in
Lagos (police,traffic warden, FRSC, Kai
brigade, fire brigade, VIO, LASTMA,
LAMATA, LASWA)
3.If you get caught by any chance, do not
allow them to enter your car, if they
happen to get in do not drive from that
spot (veer off traffic & settle promply), and
if they don’t agree, pretend that you are
calling your uncle who is in the army
(believe me it always works), never follow
them to any sort of office except you are
ready to pay ten times more than what was
demanded.
4. Never give police or VIO your original
particulars (whether expired or up to date).
5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal.
Never yield to the temptation to teach them
otherwise.
6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide,
avoid them like a plaque.
7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications,
they have no brakes.
8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always
have the right of way, all of them have
been driving in Lagos for 25 years.
9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless
he flings himself under the wheels of your
car.
10. The first parking space you see will be
the last parking space you see. Grab it.
Survival of the fittest you may say!
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos,
potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are
put in key locations to test drivers’
reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one
man fishing in one of the potholes last
week).
12. There is no such thing as “one-way”
in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction
at all times. The okada riders are the
experts in this area.
13. Never get in the way of a car that
needs extensive bodywork, except you
want to spend your whole Saturday at the
panel beater’s place.
14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to
Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction
first).
15. There is no such thing as a short-cut
during rush-hour traffic in Lagos.
Everybody might be inclined to take that
’short-cut’.
16. When asking for directions, always ask
at least three people. Lagosians always
claim to know every inch of the city – even
areas they’ve never been to.
17. Use extreme caution when pulling into
service lanes. Service lanes are not for
breaking down the traffic, but for
speeding, especially during rush hour.
18. Never use directional signals, since
they only confound and distract other
Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.
19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand
signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such
courtesies, will think you are making
obscene gestures to them. This could be
very bad for you in Lagos.
20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double
pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed)
used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning
to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver,
he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will
not stop under any circumstance. Take him
extremely seriously especially if he backs
it up with a continuous blast from his
“horn”.
21. At any given time, do not stand on the
zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to
you, or else you will have to explain to the
on coming traffic whether you look like a
zebra.
22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures
posted only to make you feel guilty.
23. Remember that the goal of every driver
is to get there first by whatever means
necessary.
24. In Lagos every spot is a potential bus
stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is
in their constitution.
25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a
flat tyre!!!
HORNING IN LAGOS
Horn’ when someone executes a
dangerous maneouvre.
‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.
‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.
‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake
you.
‘Horn’ when turning into a road.
‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.
‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you.
It’s considered good etiquette.
‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns.
Don’t worry if you don’t know what all the
‘horning’ is about.
‘Horn’ when you’re happy.
‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing
music in your car.

plz am soooooooo interested in this phone, but I need AN HONEST review by someone who's using this phone.


THANKS.

English Made In Naija1.
If I hear pim.
2. You go hear ween.
3. Have they brought light?
4. The film is sweet.
5. Mummy have come.
6. Have you paid your school fees money?
7. Put the bread inside lylon
8. Oya come and be going.
9. I kukuma no get your time.
10. I go break ur head
11. Take this money hold body
12. Una dey fall my hand
13. Omo, i don hammer
14. You too dey Bleep up
15. Na dis man get mouth pass
16. Yawa don burst
17. Garri sweet die
18. See as hin just dey form like ajebutter
19. Nepa don bring light.
20. Where em 4 make mistake.
21. Y u dey lie for me head.
21. D light full
22. Water don pass garri
23. Abeg make una like n share this post oooh.
Happy Sunday

plz, what's ur cheapest phone with at least 4000mah ba3 n 1gb RAM?


THANKS.

An Edo Man invited his friends for his
mother's
burial. After lowering the coffin, the family
put yam, rice, meat etc, into the grave in
line with
tradition.
A Hausa Man asked why? The Edo man
smiled and said, "According to our
tradition, the dead go on a long journey
and need all the food items they can get".
The Hausa man dropped N100,000 inside
and said, "When the food finish, buy
more".
The Yoruba man dropped N50,000 and
said, "Add this incase it's not enough."
The Igbo man smiled and brought out his
cheque book and wrote a cheque of
N200,000, dropped it in the coffin and
took the N150,000 notes as change, then
said "Nwanne, withdraw it when you reach
dia oooo!!.. It is going to be a dangerous
journey we don't know how many robbers
are out there and afterall we are in a
cashless economy. Travel well oooo!

U buy eggroll N150, I buy buns N15, boil
one egg N30, all na N45...
#MoneyCannotWaste.
U buy 5 alive N300, I buy ... orange
+mango+pineappl ie N80 naira..my own
get natural nutrient..
#MoneyCannotWaste. ... Nepa cut ur light,
U pay N2000 sharp sharp, I wait, call
electrician for nite for N200 fix my wire
back..
#MoneyCannotWaste.
U buy milo,milk and sugar, I buy cowbell
chocolate which already contains every...
#MoneyCannotWaste
U pay 5k go watch MI for show,I buy him
cd N100, stay room play and sing along
#MoneyCannotWaste
U dey chop pop corn of N1000 for cinema
and I dey chop popcorn of N20 for house
dey watch tv..shey our mouth dey move,
movie dey show!
#MoneyCannotWaste
U buy red bull N300 to become active, I
buy paraga N20, Am super active...
mtcheww
#MoneyCannotWaste
U buy rosé (red wine), I buy zobo and add
sachet squadron, all na red wine... #
MoneyCannotWaste
U fix 100k brazillian hair, I buy N100
xpression attachment, I fine pass you... n
guys don't know d difference
#MoneyCannotWaste
U go club for VI, buy hennesey of 40k, Me
go one joint, buy alomo N200..all na
highness
#MoneyCannotWaste
U pay N50 to watch match in a viewing
centre, I stand outside to watch d match all na d same..
#MoneyCannotWaste
You buy bb torch 95k, I buy Tecno 15k,
shey all of us dey ping?
#MoneyCannotWaste

EnterPRO:
I don't know how or why, but ateko1's joke has just been hidden this morning.

he posted it around 7:42pm yesterday and got about 9 shares.

I believe he won sir.

can anyone else bear me witness?

let's wait n see if any other person saw d post, cos I for one didn't see d post.




Anyway, for d sake of peace, I think I'll Jst forsake d joke Promo 250mb which I shud av won if there's no joke by "Ateko1".

PEACE OUT!!!

Oga EnterPRO, I think am d one dt won d joke promo of yesterday...

Plz how do I claim my prize
Thanks.

plucky16:
pls my Bluetooth doesn't switch on... any help to this situation?

Reboot ur phone.

bros do u have any phone dt has above 3500mah ba3, 2gig RAM n 8mp camera?


if yes can I know d phone n d price.
THANKS.

A boy dropped a girl at home,
he puts his hand on the wall
by the gate for support, lean
towards her and says 'can I
kiss you? Girl: No not today
Boy: Please Girl: No.. This goes
on for 10mins, then the girl's
brother appears at the gate
and said: Dad says whether
you kiss him or not it's your
decision , but tell that MUMU
to remove his hand from the
intercom button, everyone at
home is listening to your
conversations!!!

Girlfriend: Honey, please i
need some money to buy my
bathing soap.
Boyfriend: Alright!! No
problem...... but how much is
it?
Girlfriend: it's just N35k
Boyfriend: Blood of jesus!!!
Does it wash away sins and
sorrows?