I had a bad day, and wanted to treat myself to comfort food, so I went to this Japanese buffet place.

It’s 35 dollars for all you can eat, as long as you finish them, if you have a lot of left over, then you have to pay for them.

The Nigerian in me decided that I will chop and die here today...lol.

Enjoy the pics!

Ineedyouradvise:
Good day nairalanders, I had to use a new moniker.
I was married for 5years, blessed with 2 children, we dated for 1year before we got married. At a point in the marriage, domestic violence became a regular occ
Was I wrong to have left?
What necessary actions do you think I can take for him to be involved in his children's life?

N.B: both families have been involved in settling issues resulting from domestic violence severally.
He grew up with his father as his parents were separated due to some issues, leaving him and his siblings while he was barely 2years old due.

I need matured advice please.

Your husband doesn’t give a Bleep about you, don’t get it twisted. Don’t use your children as an excuse, go back to him if you want, but please leave your kids with your family so that they don’t grow up thinking it’s normal for men to treat their wives with disdain.

Make your decisions but own your decisions. This is why I tell people to be wary of men and women that come from dysfunctional homes, I still remember how shocked I was as a teenager in school hearing my friend talk about how her dad beats her mum bloody, and she thought it was a normal couple way of resolving conflict.

She went on to date a guy in university that usually beat the shot out of her and she made excuses for him then, they are married now, and I’m sure it still happens, and they are raising kids that will probably follow in that footstep.

Madam pack your load and go back to your husbands house, no point advising you.

cococandy:
Is it spicy?

Very spicy...I added Cameron pepper.

Finally made this shrimp stir fry..and I’ve eaten it twice.

ornicus:
the OPs mother is the victim of a real time nigerian love scam. this is more or less the same format those yahoo boys pull. find a lonely old woman, pretend to be something you're not, and string them along until you have emptied their accounts.

the man has taken all her money, and now all left is sex.

as far as i can see, he was an attache or unimportant person within the bunkering chain who pretended to be a full partner. the way you see some people in ph who are squatting with oil workers pretend to be oil workers [easy to do. just bring the girl around when your roommate is offshore]

Is there nobody from the extended family that can intervene?

thats the only way i can see this being resolved

on some level, i am sure then mum knows exactly what is going on, but she has been starved for male companionship for so long that she will take whatever she can get

Op na scam, read previous comments and the replies to his/her callouts.

He/she has even started clearing previous responses given.

Enchantaurl:
See how to help? I don't think my mum or her account officer want the bank to be aware. Also through you my mum might find out I brought this to nairaland.
Thanks anyway.

Lol...so basically your mum’s account manager gave out a loan/collateral without the bank being aware?
Are you joking? In what bank can an account manager handle credit transaction without the bank’s consent?

Do you think a bank is one man business? That they’re no checks and balances put in place? Do you think a loan officer is the one who authorized a loan, or is in charge of the unit that goes after non-performing loans?

Abeg go an reevaluate this your format.

Bigsteveg:

Like seriously, did you think before typing this? She should suffer for her/his mother mistakes?

See Enchantaurl ...... your mum failed in her responsibilities, she should be the one taking care of you at this stage not vice versa. God will help you to be great in life.

Op na scam. Read previous exchanges between a 17 years old girl and her detractors.

Enchantaurl:
We're you expecting me to keep quiet over their accusations? Everything I wrote there happened. They just started attacking me over nothing. Being a young girl won't stop me from defending myself from accusers and people whose aim is making me feel bad.

Now someone thinks my account is fishy, what's fishy about it?

I regret coming to nairaland for advice.

My dear, drop the act.

You exposed yourself in your responses, and no, I won’t point them out so you don’t go and update your scam documents/techniques.

You better stop and try to earn a living the proper way, because I’ve seen your type and they never end well.

budaatum:

Perhaps my faith in you is misplaced, but I do not believe you are so brainless that in a thread about her mother being jazzed you yourself will be jazzed. Its just not possible you are stupid like that.

Do your research and call buda, jazz!

Your opinion means nothing. Who cares

budaatum:

Funny. I would have thought I can think for myself is the reason you are not thinking for me!

Mirror mirror I'm not sorry!

I actually thought the Op was a young girl, until I read her exchange with the people that called her out.

She/He na scam, and I hope you’re not one of her/his other accounts that scammers use to talk themselves up.

Enchantaurl:
Good morning,nlders.

This is going to be a very lengthy post but please read to the end.

Sometime last year my widowed mother met this man who's into oil bunkering who said he was interested in learning about poultry farming and she in turn will learn his. As at then she was doing well she had a poultry business, mobile banking business, and she supplies things to companies.

I actually pitied this Op thinking you were a child.But after reading the replies and insults you’ve been giving people on thread, I can now say conclusively that you’re not a 17 year old.

You’re just a disgusting scammer, and I hope that you meet your end soon.

Unfortunately it is poor people these things happen to. They should go to court and marry first, that one it's own is marriage, and her brothers or cousins can collect her bride price, her father's people don't have to be there.

Imagine a woman of calibre like Deziani raising her kids alone without help from her husband's family, and they will now have the guts to show up on her daughter's wedding day?
Even me like this, if God forbid i had to raise my kids alone, and my children's father did not participate in their life what so ever, they definitely won't even be aware that a marriage is happening.
They definitely also won't dare step foot at that wedding..like it won't even occur to them to try it.

I just imagine my father's brothers having an opinion on anything that concerns me or my siblings lol..as what? People that have ever bought us biscuit?

i think it's people that needs external validation that things like this can happen to.

Donald3d:


I never said she should ignore him, kindly check, I made this statement towards the end :

Focus on his strengths while you help him work on his weaknesses.Bond with him very well, and please NEVER EVER compare him with anyone, it makes it worse

She has also taken him to the hospital and doctor said he is perfectly fine , the doctor also added that he is very smart .
OP also stated that he is excelling in every other thing in life, include sports, he is even breaking records !!
I think the boy is fine, he is just being a child, a smart child.
She just has to nurture him, and do what I emboldened above, which I also stated in my first post

I don't think forgetting to brush everyday except reminded is part of just being a child. He's 9...she should get a 2nd and third opinion to rule developmental issues out.

But me i don't support shipping him off to Nigeria she.

Get a second and third opinion regarding his mental state...A child that can't get himself ready for school at 9 may have a problem..especially abroad where kids are even more independent.

be sure that you've ruled all that out.

Are you chartered? if yes, follow "epicrich" on instagram..they seem to recruit mostly for accounting jobs, and they have posted quite a number of jobs this week.

Beautyaddy:


How does any Nigerian migrate or get to the US/UK/Canada illegally? I don't think there's any.

What I sense is that some Nigerians will apply for either the visiting visa or student visa to travel legally to these countries.

However, what happens is that when they get approved of the visa they travel to those countries legally but along the line they now overstay their legal presence in these countries... that is when they become illegal or better term to use "undocumented immigrants" in those countries.

Are you being serious? You’ve never heard of Canadian express entry? Or work Visas for the other countries?
You’re displaying your ignorance online madam, and boldly too. It’s embarrassing.

Shezkid01:
This Nigeria billionaire don dey common...
So na everybody get billions
Continue..

Na Ayeri people. Oil bunkering money, quite common in the south.

Na all of them come out Dey agitate about injustice in their communities and all, after Dey make d money wetin dem do for their communities?

You guessed right, nothing! I can never take those people seriously.

Madlov3:

I will post it on the condition that @justwise deletes the post after 24hrs. If you can get just wise to delete the post after 24hrs, i will give you 4 websites of the Clinics/Hospitals of some Nigerians Doctors in America. If I don’t give you, I should be given a life ban on Nairaland.

Smh.

Madlov3:
what if paste you the links of their websites now what will happen? You don’t know something doesn’t me it doesn’t happen.you think its all Nigerians Abroad that are into Jobs? Some have Hospital and Clinic and create jobs for Americans.
For privacy reasons I just don’t wanna paste it here because i have oppotuned to meet with some of them one on one

Oga, there’s nothing private about owning hospitals. It’s free advert even. The truth is that you don’t have names to post stop lying.

Going abroad is very easily accessible these days, save up and go. I don’t know why you people castigate your relatives/friends when the truth is you don’t need their permission to travel.

Save up your money and travel, no body is holding you back.

Spanishmilf:
I have many peeps abroad and i hope u do
They are many successful nigerians abroad... If u ask for their help to help u secure job even if they have a vacant position they wont employ u.... Probably thinking u May succeed than them, tribe also affect it

I highly doubt that as I know companies actually give people referral bonuses for referring people...once again I think maybe you’re talking about what you’ve heard people say.

Who knows.

Madlov3:
I can’t mention their names for privacy purposes but you can do a google search

Which privacy purpose? You think you can just carry and setup hospitals abroad? When it’s not Nigeria? Please mention the names.

Spanishmilf:
u just dont get me

I get that you think your country men owe you some kind of favor.

Nobody does, it’s easier to help someone that has an idea of what they’re walking into, than someone that is looking at the world through rose tinted glasses.

Why do you want to move to another country without thinking of your own accommodations? I’m in Canada, and Nigerians here help each other network and stuff like that, but definitely not a leeeching relationship.

Spanishmilf:
Wether u migrate leggaly or not
Atleast for a jjc in another country u will have to libe with someone who wil show u d way.... They will welcome u openly for 2 days but after like 1 week they suddenly change attitudes
Why that

As a Jjc, you don’t have to live with anyone..that’s why there’s Airbnb. There’s google for the information you need to get around, if you intend to migrate legally and have the funds, nobody will discourage you because it’s not their business.

If you intend to migrate illegally, I don’t understand why you think somebody that won’t house you is wicked.

Do what you want, but leave others out of it.

eni4real:
What my mother did is beyond her responsibility. She went extra mile... Not all mums are the same.. You can only speak for your mum and I speak for mine!!!

Stories.

eni4real:
Those nudes ladies(girls of this generation) are definitely the one dragging position with our conservative mothers who sacrificed everything!!!

Please what did your mother sacrifice? Tell me one thing your mother did, that isn't her job as a mother?

You better not transfer this mentality to your child, the decision to bring another human being into this world shouldn't be one made lightly.
It also shouldn't be laden with emotional blackmail such that the child is left feeling like they owe you a debt of gratitude.

If you had a healthy relationship with your mum, you will love her deeply, and not be beholden to her.

fullofgrace:
With the comments so far I'm really impressed.
I'm putting down in writing most of ur comments because I will use them as a useful road Map.
And for those who think my post is mainly for fund may God never allow u to experienced unplanned situations.
But still I love u guys we are one family.

Oga what is unplanned about unprotected sex that leads to pregnancy? Please stop the pity party. Rise up to your challenge as a man, actions have consequences.

Chest your own.

fullofgrace:
Thanks for all your contributions, sincerely speaking now I'm presently in Enugu and to travel down to my place assembling my parents before going to gather the elders to see her parents would cost me #50k for going alone not of to and fro would cost around #100-#120k
And we have to pay first introduction money on her head before going back to settled for the traditional marriage officially and church wedding as well .
If I hard the capabilities of funding those bills I wouldn't have published it here. But for now is beyond my race line. Please think of it if it were to be your own blood.....
I'm just down right away my God I need sponsors..

I really dislike people that threaten the public with suicide, what do you think will happen if you die? Highest, Nairaland people will say "eeya" and move on.

Now to the issue on ground, why can't you cut your coat according to your size? Do poor men in her village not marry?
You don't have money and you're looking at all these plenty wedding protocol, how much is the dowry itself?
Court wedding is less than 30k, and that's marriage. Tell both families your true condition and pay dowry only...the rest you can settle when you have the finances, if her family are reasonable people they will understand, I'm igbo and it's done.

Why do you want to further your education when you're broke like this? If you aren't financially stable with your HND is it further education that will make a difference in Nigeria?

The lady in question what's her occupation? You people should not transfer poverty down your bloodline o, this is the time to start preparing for that innocent child.
Make sure you don't spend more than 150k in total for marrying that girl, pregancy and child care is not cheap, babies need to be taken care of.

You will need to work hard in the months leading to the birth of your baby, it's not about just the both of you anymore.

truthsayer009:


No ma'am, you're NOT the one I was "fighting" nor "arguing" with. The accused knows what I was referring to. I reckon this is a case of false document which she is showcasing as her own. Which actually is the opposite of what she looks like in reality.

Do you understand? hence my reference to "Dark Skin". Not that I mentioned that a Woman who is dark skinned isn't beautiful.

So you simply jumped to conclusion in your first post against me.

Oga, you quoted me for not reading to understand.

I merely replied by providing you with synonyms in reference to my previous quote, incase you needed to further understand my post, before asking me to read to understand.

truthsayer009:


Read & understand what I wrote, you obviously didn't read to understand because you wanted to support your gender. It's not about that Sis. She keeps lying about her lifestyle & everyone cannot be fooled please.

Carry on means "as you were", "continue", it doesn't mean stop, or defense of any kind. You are the one who needs to read to understand.

truthsayer009:


NO. not about dark complexion at all. Please, this isn't a skin color argument.

Ok o..carry on.

truthsayer009:


LMAO should i even start about how you posted your a fake passport of your on Nairaland.

You think you can deceive everyone. You are VERY DARK in complexion, Yet your pictures of you with your passport is fair and light skinned.

Your fvcking self always make it seem like our earn a decent living.

Ladies who earn a decent living to cry about a guys money every now and then, you broke idiot. You have nothing to offer, that is why you keep shouting upandan on Nairaland looking for someone who can foot your bills.

Your dirty old rag of yours had to look for a guy in Qatar you couldn't find anyone to date you in the UK. The guy left you because he already knew you were an empty vessel.

For your info, I studied in UK and even got a offer before i left school. Ask those who know me and they will tell you.

If i wanted to be in Canada, i will. I'm already leaving for an MSC in Germany which i fully paid for my myself. Tuition and accomodation fully paid in full by myself without anyone.

I won't be replying to an idiot like you, because that is what you are.

lol...e pain you sha.

So women who are very dark in complexion are ugly?