₦airaland Forum

kikiwendy:
This centino guy is something else.. Just too good.. You won't kill me with laughter

Thanks kikiwendi Nice to have you here.

Honourable356

@ INDUSTRIALFAN and sheycrown. It's double na...look well. You'll see where the second dose starts

xaviercasmir:
Bro i am not a new comer here ooo just the spirit of ghost reading is in me that time.

Thanks y'all. I must mention the new comers xaviercasmir, excelmerry, donblazer10, olumose001, SunFlow, AvatarMode. Great to have you guys and thanks for the interest.

This one is dedicated to the Literature section Ghost Readers Association headed by ismokeweed Joeaz58, na sundays i dey really get chance. Sent4rina, thanks for showing face , frankline461 thanks for the kind words the other time, sorry I was too busy dodging INDUSTRIALFAN and Nahimsworld to acknowledge, will surely return the visit , jagugu88li, preetiex, sheycrown, YINKS89, collinometricx, nkay2020, Dhavido, WILLIAMSKECH, HelenBee, all my people, I still dey o. EvaJael, meneski, ehmusshogun (where una dey my bro), Pinkfeet, headmaster123, cbella, Rajosh, Minderz, honourable356, justOzito, emm itsandi , Is Kimkardashain still here? everyone. And yes obedugo, it's a double.



THE INTRODUCTION

Wasiu turned and looked at me and Castro and Irikefe by his side and let out a guffaw. No one else in the compound was amused. We were embarrassed by what we had just witnessed.

“Na mama una dey take play abi?” His laughter did not subside. He just left the three of us standing there and entered his room.

“Whick kind wahala be this one now?” irikefe said.

“Oga Akunna is in trouble” Castro acceded.

“Well, on the brighter side, Akunna has his baby back. They can at least give it proper care now” I said.

“I will never go near that baby,” Castro said.

“Why?”

“Mama would have already thought it how to fly.”

“Castro!”

“The little devil cooperated with her!”

“It is only a baby.”

“But that is the point. It is supposed to yell and cry like normal babies. It just kept quiet and let the woman do whatever she wanted with it.”

“She is an old woman, experienced at nursing babies. She knew what to do for the baby not to cry.”

“I have never heard of such a thing. Babies cry, full stop. Whenever a baby doesn’t cry there is a problem. Is that not why when they just give birth and the baby doesn’t cry they whack its little ass so that it cries? Fear a baby that does not cry.”

“Alright guys. Whatever.” I said. “You guys spare a thought for Akunna.”

“I have no pity for him.”

“What did you expect him to do?”

“He should have killed her a long time ago.”

“Haa Castro!”

“Suffer not a witch to live.”

“Well that doesn’t mean he should take the laws into his hands. Besides, no one can prove witchcraft.”

“But this one is obvious na. Again, how did she know they had gone to the police? How did she know they were here so that she could start her drama at just the right time?” Castro said.

“Abeg abeg abeg abeg” Irikefe said and began to walk away from us. I noticed he had become sulky. I knew it was because Castro was now with us. I grabbed him by the elbow and halted him. “I don tell una say I no wan know anything about this mama. I get show to attend this night. Make I go prepare.”

“Can I come?” Castro said.

“Go ask your mama.”

“Irikefe wait. They are coming for Maya’s introduction a little later. Surely we are not letting it happen?”

At that irikefe stopped. I also straightened and looked at Castro.

“I want to cause the kind of commotion that will make the people believe that the Holy Spirit is warning them not to marry the girl.”

“What do you want to do?” Irikefe said.

“I am arranging the seats. I will pour super glue on all of them.”

“Is that how you want to stop the marriage? Irikefe said with a sneer.”

“Guy, calm down na.”

“Okay. They sit on super glue and they change their seats. What next?”

“Didn’t you hear me? All the seats! When they get up to try to change seats, the glue will stick to their yansh. Instead of talking about the ripe flower they saw in this compound that they want to come and pluck, they will be busy thinking about their akwa oche that would be ruined. They will then conclude that it is a sign that their asses will know no peace once they marry Maya.

“So that is what you want to do?”

“Ehen” Castro said with emphatic nods. “What can you do?”

Irikefe placed an elbow over an arm crossed over his midsection and began to stroke his beard. He had been grooming the beard for three months and now liked the result. He should go to Lukman and have it carved into something really bad. In the meantime, he said to Castro “make the groom disappear. This is Katakata Street.”

Castro started and said “that would be a crime na.”

Irikefe shook his head and said “small boy.”

“I am not a criminal.”

“Well I am. So go play with children.”

“But bros Freke” Castro said and looked at me.

“No one is committing any crime. I have told you guys I’m letting go. It was not meant to be.”

“Yes but this type of thing must stop. How can strangers continue to come and take away our girls?”

“The girls are not yours Castro.”

“But we saw them grow. Very soon the ones Irikefe helped to discover their destinies will start going one after the other.”

“Your Fada.”

Castro collapsed in a fit of laughter while I watched, consumed in my own thoughts.

“Now listen both of you. I don’t want any drama here in the name of helping me. I did not come to Lagos because of a woman. I came to look for work, and so far I have been unsuccessful like you both know. That means that the last thing I need is the burden of a woman. Fine I love Maya, but love is never enough, and her family needs her to be married. And because I love her I will have to accept what is in her best interest. So let’s support Mama Tobi and let this thing be a success. I will also help and arrange the chairs”

“Chai bros. I have never seen a guy like you.” Castro said.

“What can I really do Castro? Check am.”

“Bros, when you love someone, you’ll do anything – Bryan Adams”

“Irikefe don turn to Undertaker o!”

At that, we all laughed and felt lighter.

“Alright, you guys go arrange the chairs, I wan go prepare for tonight. None of una even remember say today na my birthday. I’m twenty. So I dey go dance this night.”

At that, we took turns and hugged Irikefe and wished him a happy birthday.

“After they have finished marrying my woman I will follow you to the club. There is no better time to go and get drunk” I said.

“I’m coming” Castro reaffirmed.

“Castro, do whatever you want. But let it be clear that we did not invite you; you came on your own. I no want your papa wahala.”

“Yes, I went on my own. I told you I am now independent.”

“Independent na for mouth? Wait until hunger comes” Irikefe said.

“Alright guys” I said. “So to the club tonight. For now, there is the small matter of Maya’s Introduction. Oya fine boy” I said to Irikefe, “go prep yourself. Today na your day also so make we no stress you. Castro, let’s go and help Mama Tobi.”

*

Later that evening, we stood by the soakaway and watched as Mama Tobi’s guests filed in one after the other. Like Castro predicted, they were dressed mostly in[i] akwa oche [/i]tunics over trousers with red feathered hats. We counted twelve men and two women - the exact number of people that filled the fourteen-seater bus that brought them. The chairs were strangely arranged in a circle and there was a plastic table placed at the centre. Mama Tobi had found an old man from her husband’s village who was in the company of a younger man dressed in jeans and Tshirt. Mr Zubi also featured as part of the bride’s family at the fervent request of Mama Tobi. No sooner where they seated did the eldest man in the visiting group stand and began to speak.

“My inlaws. I will call you that because in the face of God and man it is already a concluded matter.” There were nodding heads and hums of approval from his entourage, just what he needed to continue. “We saw a beautiful flower in this compound. The flower has beautiful leaves, it has beautiful stems, it has wonderful handles, it is fresh like palm wine, colouful like butterfly, white like the new moon, so for this reason, my young man here, our son, came back home and told us he must to come and pluck this flower.”

“What did he smoke?” Irikefe whispered to me.

“Ask Wasiu” I said and managed a wry smile.

The second oldest man in the entourage then stood up. This time there were proper cheers from the visiting contingent. I looked at Irikefe and he looked at me in return.

“It better not be what I’m thinking,” he said.

He was a gap-toothed man in his fifties. Dark as Mr Zubi with scruffy grey beards and a bad right leg. He supported himself with a cane which he planted firmly to his right. He looked like a half chopped tree that was leaning to the side it would inevitably fall to.

“My people, I am the one that saw this flower.”

“Impossible!” Someone wailed from the crowd of the compound's onlookers. The visitors turned to see the speaker but found straight faces. Mr Zubi, in the thick of the event as a member of the bride’s family I could tell recognized his son Castro’s voice because he now sat very straight and the veins on his neck became more pronounced.

“This baba! But this is not fair na” Irikefe whispered to me.

“Keep quiet,” I said, as I tried to maintain my composure.

“I just returned from Libya where three of the gals that I was training to become hairdressers ran away to go to Europe and died on the high sea. You all heard the story. I was there pursuing them. But they defied my wisdom and continued on the journey. We just buried them in Italy.”

“My God!” Irikefe gasped.

“Well, with this kind of tragedy in my family, I decided that I do not have to waste any time to bring good news to my people. So, for this reason, I have decided to come and pluck this beautiful flower, which I believe will erase all the bad memories of those senseless gals, and restore joy to my family. Err my inlaws, this is why I have come.”

“You see why I said we should have kidnapped the goat?” Irikefe said.

Castro was at our side in a flash. “Bros, you still think you want the woman you love to end up with this crippled w*nker?”

“There’s nothing anyone can do now,” I said. “My poor Maya” I breathed, unable to stop myself.

They had brought kola and were making more speeches and beer bottles were already being passed around. Then there was sudden hush. The bride to be had been summoned.

We held our breaths as Maya emerged from the corridor. She was clad in a simple fitted ankara gown with a draping shawl covering her hair. Her figure was unreal in the attire, and somehow she managed to first pick out my eyes in the crowd. She wore light makeup, and her sadness made her look ethereal.

“She’s finer than anyone has ever seen her. God punish poverty” Irikefe said and walked away.

I looked on as she walked to the centre of the gathering. Every step tentative, all eyes measuring her gracefulness.

“Mama Tobi stood up and began ululating tapping her lips, joined immediately by the other women of the compound. They ushered Maya to a seat prepared for her beside the grinning groom. But Maya stood steadfast at the centre of the gathering and would not budge any further. As the women continued singing Maya suddenly screamed: “I am pregnant!”

The singing stopped.

The women all looked at Maya. She repeated herself, quietly this time as if trying to convince herself first. “I am pregnant.”

Mama Tobi collapsed in her seat. The other women snuck away one after the other. It was now only Maya standing, with a hundred pair of eyes burning into her.

The man that first spoke from the visiting group stood up and looked at his entourage who were also looking at each other, and then as if on cue they all cheered and began to exchange high-fives. The groom stood and received a warm hug from the elderly spokesman.

I saw a flash of anger cross Maya’s face. Then she blurted “I am not pregnant by him!”

Instantly there was quiet. Mama Tobi buried her face in her palm and began to sob. I saw the groom whisper something to the older man who turned to the person beside him and said something. We watched as the entourage spoke among themselves in whispers, before the spokesman stood and said: “If she is pregnant even when our son did not touch her, then it is the Lord’s doing and it is marvelous in our sight.”

His entourage on cue began cheering again. Mama Tobi looked up at the speaker in disbelief.

Mr Zubi stood up and walked away.

The two women in the group broke into a song and approached Maya. As they made to touch her, she flung her hand and something landed with a thud in the large silver tray that had kola and garden eggs. We all looked as a red-headed reptile slithered about in the tray and then lifted its head and produced a long flickering tongue in the direction of the man that just spoke. It was a monitor Lizard!

The crippled groom somehow managed to scale the gutter and hobble down the street faster than anyone else in his entourage. The others scrambled after him and two people fell into the gutter. Maya was rooted to the spot. On a hunch I looked up at the top floor balcony from where some others were gathered watching proceedings. They too were quick to disperse in the confusion, but Mama Akunna was still there.

I looked at her quizzically and she exposed what at that moment was the most beautiful irregular dentition I had ever seen and winked at me.

I dashed after Maya.


TO BE CONTINUED.

ismokeweed:
Read story on nairaland? God help you.

Come ismokeweed, take your time o. No come spoil my guys mind. Ghost reader like you I don catch you today . INDUSTRIALFAN, my man Nahimsworld, oya make una no vex. I was on a ten hour flight at the time I should have been writing. I don't sit still on those flights to avoid DVT so I couldn't work. I go try drop double dose this Sunday. Sheycrown, I see you. Thanks for checking. 225 Katakata street will not cease as long as life dey. Tory still plenty.

INDUSTRIALFAN:
This is why I hate to read and follow literature works on NL. The writers make you hooked and engrossed then they the you under the bus and leave you for dead. Forget that we don't pay you. We also didn't ask you to start. You promised to update every Sunday (once a week cos of 'hustle') even the once a week is no longer sure.

Bros you know whether I well or if I don chop?

Thanks JustOzito, YINKS89, obedugo, Collinometricx. xtanlee, HelenBee, Minderz, honourable356, EvaJael, cbella, Pinkfeet, classikladyk, Nahimsworld, yorhnienerd, sheycrown, Dhavido, Preetiex...everyone, you're all invited

ARREST

We left the backyard and went straight to Wasiu’s room. He was on the floor doing pushups and stood wide-eyed when Irikefe and I entered the room without knocking. He could not hold my gaze so he began to explain: “Guy, you no say na mama Akunna we dey talk about. How do you think I will lead you to where she is?”

“And why won’t you?”

“I gave you the clue. I also knew you were smart enough to decode. Me I know say I no betray am.”

“Wasiu. You give this woman drugs. You provided a hiding place for her. She has in her custody a starving newborn. How does that make you feel?”

“Ehen…how does that make me feel? Okay, you that now know where she is, oya go and do Voltron the defender of the universe.”

I kept quiet and sat down on the bed. Irikefe sat too. Castro also came in to join us. I knew he had abandoned arranging the chairs. He would not want to miss his first official outing as a member of the gang. I sighed and looked away.

“Guy, no worry yourself. Why you come dey cry pass person wey get dead body? Make Akunna solve hin problem.”

“You must stop helping her Wasiu” Castro said.

“Come, small boy, your papa know say you dey here? I no want wahala abeg. Come dey go.”

Irikefe grinned and scowled at Castro again and said “you see your mate here?”

“I did not come to buy igbo. I will not smoke again. Not because I am afraid or anything. The thing is not for me. I smoke cigarette and that is bad enough for me.”

“You just wan bad by force” Irikefe yawned.

“Enough” I snapped.

“Wasiu, don’t carry food to mama or do anything you are doing for her. She will get tired and come out. Then let things unfold. We don’t want to tell Akunna or anyone what we know because of Bros Freke. She will think it is him. To her, only Bros Freke and Wasiu know where she is.”

“I bet she knows we are having this conversation now.”Irikefe said with a sneer. “I have said I don’t want to have anything to do with mama. That is how you people made me put igbo in her soup and when she caught us you two began forming strong men, meanwhile it was my life that was at stake. I don say I no dey do again.”

“Coward” Castro said.

“Your papa!” Irikefe fired back.

“You can curse him as you like. Wetin concern me?”

“See Wasiu” I began. “It’s true you can help. I don’t know how you feel about this whole thing, but what mama is doing is bad. That baby may not live if she does not release it to its parents.”

“Make una relax joor. How long do you think she can hide there?” Wasiu said.

“Don’t take things to her so she can come out quickly.”

Wasiu looked away.

“You give her drugs. You both exchange high fives. I don’t get it Wasiu.”

“What don’t you get? Abi you wan say I dey sleep with am?”

“No one is saying that. But she is old and troublesome and you are now her right-hand man. Come on Wasiu.”

“Una no know mama Akunna na im make.”

“Meaning…”

“Mama na correct woman I swear. You guys will not understand.”

“Has she thought you how to stay out of jail?” Irikefe said.

“As a matter of fact, yes.”

“She don give you winch be dat” Castro said.

“Shut up.”

“See, none of this is my business. Mama is now my person. I will do what I want to do and it is not any of your business.”

“Then we will tell the police you have started selling drugs again,” Castro said.

Wasiu scowled at him and then quickly averted his eyes. We could see that Castro had struck the right note.

“Yes Wasiu. We will report you. It is not blackmail. We want you to do the right thing. A baby’s life and the happiness of a struggling family are at stake.”

Wasiu shrugged and said “I hear say dem dey come marry your babe.”

“We will not let it happen” Castro said.

“Are you going to marry her?” Wasiu said to me.

“No but…”

“No but what?”

“All these small children. When yansh don dey sweet una una go come stupid. Na you be d first person wey dem dey marry d woman hin like? Make d man come carry am dey feed am, you go dey go for back go dey shine d congo.”

“God forbid. I won’t touch a married woman.”

“Abeg! He won’t pay the full bride price and he will not take her to church. In the eyes of God sef dem be fornicators. You won’t be doing anything worse.”

“No Wasiu. I will let her go. I am not ready to marry her. If she was meant for me, things would have turned out good for us.”

“Sorry o. And you no even touch am once” Wasiu said.

Irikefe and Castro both wore sheepish grins and then Wasiu said “Oh, na so? wetin you come want again? Find another one joor.”

“He is in love Wasiu. You will not understand. Dem don beat you for prison sotey you no know anything again.”

“Sharaap”

“Anyway, it is mama I am worried about” I said.

“Don’t worry about mama. Worry about yourself” Wasiu said. Mama has her ways. I may not go to her as you wish, but they won’t get her. There is none like mama Akunna”

“Wasiu you don loss. I sorry for your mama.”

We heard singing in the corridor and all jumped on our feet. Only one person sang like that. Wasiu’s room was the first when entering the building so from his door you could see the frontage. We stepped out and saw Akunna jumping the gutter and entering the compound in the company of Josiah, Akunna and two plain-clothed policemen. We knew they were policemen because they were always in the area looking for miscreants. It was Mama Akunna that was singing. She was swinging the baby in her arms and walking towards the newcomers. She was white with the traditional cooling nzu all over her body and the baby was equally so adorned. She was bare-chested with only a wrapper around her waist and a rosary on her neck. The baby too was unclad.

Akunna stopped short when he saw her. He pointed and shouted “officer, there she is!”

Mama continued singing and dancing like she did the first time she held the baby in our presence. Then she suddenly stopped and looked at her son and the others with bemusement on her face. Nwam, wetin happen? Why you dey shout like say you see tiff?”

“Yes thief! That is what you are!”

“Ah ahn!” mama Akunna gasped. She looked down at the baby in her arms, and looked up again at Akunna. My pikin. You well so?”

The policemen looked at each other and then at the men that came to report. One of them spoke up and said “Mr Akunna, what did you say happened?”

“This woman here disappeared with my new born baby since yesterday.”

“Ewooooooo!” Mama Akunna wailed and collapsed on the floor. Mama Cowbell was quick to take the baby from her as she began to roll on the floor.

“Ewooooooo!” She screeched again and threw both arms out.

“What is this Mr Akunna?”

Akunna was struck dumb. The sight of a half-naked old woman with white chalk all over her body rolling on the floor and wailing was so shocking that I thought Akunna considered fainting but knew he could not match his mother at drama.

“Wetin I do? Akunna wetin I do? Person no fit carry hin own granpikin again? Ewoooooooo!”

She kept rolling and one of the policemen unable to bear it produced a baton and scooped the back of Akunna’s head with it and said “Why you dey tanda dia? You no fit help this poor woman?”

“And she is your mother?” the other one said.

“Na me born am oooooooooooooo!” Mama Akunna wailed and continued to roll.

“Officer ask them. Ask my neighbors. They all know who this woman is.” Akunna said

“Na me don turn to this woman now Akunna. Ewooooooooo!”

“Josia, Achike, please tell the officers” Akunna said.

We all then looked and saw that both Josiah and Achike were not there anymore. Akunna turned around confused.

“Akunna, if I swear for you. If I nack this breast wey you suck call god for you, you go sleep dis night you no go wake up. Police ooooooo!”

“Mama calm down” one of the officers said and bent to pick her up from the floor. Mama Akunna stood and fell into his arms and continued to wail.

“Go carry your mama” the officer with the baton said and prodded Akunna’s buttocks with the weapon.

Akunna reluctantly went to the second officer and took his mother. Mama Akunna fell into her son’s arms and wailed even louder “my pikin, pikin wey I born, na me you call police to come catch because I carry ya pikin? You marry wife come trowey ya mama. Sotey you call police for ya mama. Akunna, Akunna, Nwam!” Ewooooooo! Awero see wetin you don do me ooooo!”

“Look here,” One of the officers said. Go and take care of this woman. I don’t know what has come over you. You have a mother who cares for you like this and all you want to do is arrest her. Is she too much for you to feed?”

“Officer na my own food I dey chop since I come here. Akunna no wan take eye see me.”

“This is bad.” The first officer said.

“Oya, take her inside!” The other one ordered. Useless man.” He looked at his companion and they both hissed and turned away. Mama Akunna let out another big ewooooooo as she was led into the corridor. This time, with the backs of the officers turned, she grinned widely at all of us onlookers.



TO BE CONTINUED.

honourable356:
I just stumbled upon this story last night... Yea last night and inasmuch as I tried harder to contain the laughter, the laughter succeed in containing me.

A story told in a very Hilarious way ...I was not even close to analyze or review the story so far because the laughter overwhelmed me.

God bless the Nigerian pigin English
God bless the writer.
As you succeed in bringing laughter to many and putting smiles on the face of your readers/auidence..may you be highly reward in due time.

Today, I acknowledge your talent.
Ride on, you have my attention and support!!!

Thanks for the prayer honourable356. Glad you like my work

EvaJael:
Centino, I'm sorry for disappearing. I've been smiling all through. More ink to your pen

Thanks EvaJael. Nice to have you back.

classicladyk:
this story is very hilarious. thumbsv up cetino

Thanks classicladyk

Pinkfeet:
centino you are great with this ur writing skill

mama akuna i dey gbadun u ooo

but wait ooo

so castro don dey disvirgin .....
castro na confirm ewu Gambia



evajael and cbella were are u,

u better come here and laugh , so that u will send devil inside gutter like mama tobi

Thanks Pinkfeet

Nahimsworld:
because of this story nah him make me create nairaland account o.
So abeg because of me, post amm before Sunday pls pls pls pls pls pls.
but u will stil post on Sunday o.
tenks for accepting my plea.

Bros Nahimsworld. Thanks for the compliment and welcome to Nairaland man. A midweek update in between is a possibility. Watch this space

Nahimsworld:
centino pls be my mentor
pls be my mentor,I said pls be my mentor!
is as if he is not hearing me, is he

At your service, man.

sheycrown:
Centino Sunday is too far oh

I understand sheycrown. Na hustle

obedugo:
Brox centino u wan kil person 4 suspense o... Brox Sunday too far again o

kayjay007:
front seat booked...Bro, happy SUNny DAY?

Happy Sunday man.

CASTRO

I went looking for Irikefe straight from mama’s hide out. It was early afternoon and mama Akunna had been missing for up to eighteen hours. The men had decided to go to the police. It was better than doing nothing.

I found Irikefe at the backyard cleaning an old pair of boots.

“Irikefe, abeg come.” I said

“Bros, you see ghost?”

“Yes” I said.

He grinned and set the boots on a discarded locker facing the sun, took two paces back and whistled in admiration of his exotic footwear. It was a brown iron ranger six inches boot. It was Friday and only meant that Irikefe was going to the club at Apapa tonight.

As soon as I was sure we were out of earshot I said: “I have seen Mama”.

Irikefe started like he had seen a ghost himself.

“For where?”

“She is hiding in the room you told me Wasiu hides his drugs.”

“And the baby?”

“She has it with her.”

“But people should hear it crying na. What is she feeding it?”

“Believe it or not, I saw her breastfeeding the baby.” Irikefe held his stomach and covered his mouth like he was holding back vomit.

“I was as shocked.”

“What are you waiting for? Tell Akunna or Mr Zubi so they can go in there and shoot her and take that baby.”

“She is blackmailing me.”

“How?”

“She said I should go and start a story that she has been kidnapped and then return to her discreetly.”

“You are doing no such thing. What does she have on you?”

I took a deep breath and looked him squarely in the eye. “It’s Maya.”

Irikefe seemed confused at first, and then slowly realization hit him. His grin widened and he said “you mean…” and made a hole with his left thumb and index finger and inserted his right index finger into it obscenely.

I looked away and irikefe jumped up and exclaimed “Bros Freke!” and gave me a hug. Looking at him you would think I won the lottery. “So how was it? That fine girl bros. see her front and back and sweet face. Choi.”

“Shut up Irikefe.”

“Okay okay” he said but he could not wipe off the sly smile on his face.

“So mama knows you could have robbed mama Tobi of her daughter’s bride price and wants you to help her for her silence?”

I nodded.

“I know what you can do” We heard another voice say and looked around and saw Mr Zubi’s oldest son Castro.

“Who be dis one?” Irikefe said shooing him away, but Castro stood still and refused to budge.

“I heard everything,” He said.

I did not doubt that he did. We were by the corner of the building facing the fence, where a person could crop up from the backyard without being seen, protected by a 90 degree wall.

“Did you see your mate here?” Irikefe said.

“I want to join your group,” Castro said.

“What do you mean by that Castro?” I said.

“I want to be hanging out with the two of you.”

“Which kind nonsense be this? Irikefe said irritably but Castro ignored him and spoke directly to me.

“I see you guys all the time observing and talking about things and I want to be a part of it. I know things too.”

“See, Castro. We are not a group and you can talk to us at any time” I said.

“I am eighteen” he said.

“I know”

“Last week I disvirgined mama Kike’s last daughter.”

“What?” Irikefe gasped.

“Wait Castro. Firstly it is not disvirgin but deflower. And if you did that it is nothing to be proud of. We are talking about a ten or eleven year old.”

“Twelve.”

“That doesn’t make it any better. And that is not a criterion to join us as you put it. If anything, I can hate you for that.”

“But irikefe here disflowered all the girls in this compound and he is your friend. I beat him to this one!”

Irikefe made to speak but kept quiet and scowled at Castro.

“I have also touched sister Esther’s breast. She allowed me, but beat up Irikefe with a stick like a donkey when he went to try her.”

Irikefe charged at Castro but I came between them.

“She was drying her clothes and I went and did like I wanted to dry clothes too. The place was full and covered with wrappers. She was not wearing anything under her tshirt. I just stretched my hand and touched it. She was not angry. She said she knew I was curious as a teenager but that I should not do it again. She has given me food twice since then.”

I and Irikefe exchanged bemused looks.

“Alright Castro. I agree you have done these things. But very soon your mother will come and call you to go and wash plates, then what happens? I and Irikefe here more or less live independently. Tonight we are even going to the club. Can you come?”

“Yes. I m now independent”

“I see.”

“Bros I am tired of being treated like a child. All my father does is to call me Ewu Gambia, just because he is feeding me. Meanwhile he is Ewu Morocco.”

Irikefe and I burst out laughing.”

“His own is to make mouth about his acting days. We all know he never featured in any meaningful film. He may be ugly, but Segun Arinze is still acting na. The man has no talent!”

Irikefe and I laughed even harder. Castro was beginning to feel comfortable. He adjusted the belt that held his jeans and brought his voice a tone lower and said “see, bros. This mama thing is simple. Just ignore her. She can’t tell anyone anything while she is in hiding. And your babe’s in-laws are coming this evening. Let’s stop Wasiu from taking her food and you will see that she will give herself up. She won’t do it before dark. And by that time Maya will already be in her husband’s house.”

“You mean she will go with them today?” I said before I realized myself.

“Bros, these men always come and carry our poor girls like that. I’m sure Mama Tobi is glad this one is even showing his face. Her first daughter just went and started bearing children for one man.”

I shook my head.

“But if you don’t want them to get married, we can also stop it. I see you love Maya. We all do, just that no one can near her. You are a great man bros.”

“Oya Castro, your mother is calling you.”

“Leave him alone Irikefe” I said.

Castro’s eyes lit up. He was accepted. I looked up in time to see him sticking his tongue out to Irikefe.

“You are a good guy bros. Even though you have been to the university you still interact with us freely and we all like you. I will speak with Lukman and Wasiu and we will stop that marriage. I will be happy to know that it is you that is chopping that angel, instead of that illiterate.”

“Do you know him?”

“No bros. but I know his type.”

“See guys, the most pressing matter now is Mama. How did she even know I was with Maya from where she was hiding? I don dey fear. How about I just tell the police? They have already gone to report.”

“She will then know you betrayed her,” Irikefe said. I don’t want to cross that woman’s path again I swear. Think about it…you were on top of Maya in your room and she knew. She has a newborn baby in her custody in a public compound and the baby has not cried once. Bros I no dey. Maybe this goat Castro is right. Do nothing and let her get tired and show herself.”

“And what will I tell her then?”

“Hope that Akunna puts his machete to use. If you must do something, offer to help him sharpen it.”

We all kept quiet and looked at each other.

“Bros, I have something to do outside. Mama Tobi wants me to help and arrange seats for her visitors. But I have my own plans.”


TO BE CONTINUED

Going well. But you don't need a new thread for a new chapter. Tap reply and continue on one thread. Cheers man.

I like this. Well done man.

Nice one Creeza.

Preetiex:
well done

Thanks Preetiex.

jagugu88li:
Centino my chiefterly....you are back I see

Oh yeah. I get choice?

headmaster123:
best literature write up @ nairaland so far

Thanks headmaster123

sheycrown, queenitee, YINKS89, I see y'all.

Please where is Preetiex, inkdbetty and jagugu88li?

eyesofpearls:
Oh dear! #siddonlook make I dey wait o

Welcome eyesofpearls. I see you're a brand new nairalander

nkay2020, Didov1, obedugo, everyone, here we go...



CORNERED

Wasiu took a few large strides and disappeared down the corridor. I hurried after him but by the time I got to the backyard he was not there. I knew he did not vanish. He simply ran the fastest he could and would have rounded the compound before I reached the backyard and was already on his way to his intended destination by now. Neighbors had started filling the backyard again to do their washing or fetch water or just idle about fishing for gossip. I went back into the corridor and as a passed Akunna’s room I saw that his door was wide open and he had his head in both palms. I ignored him and continued on my way. Then on a hunch I stopped by the staircase and decided to climb to the top floor. More than once in the past I had seen Mama Akunna go upstairs but did not pay attention to it. It was not unusual for her to go about looking for trouble. I only hoped that it was not Maya’s room that she visited when she went upstairs.

At the thought of Maya my heart sank. Last night she delivered the worst news possible to me. “Someone has come to ask for my hand in marriage” she said to me.

“What?”

“Yes Ndi. He is from my mother’s place. He sells spare parts at Ladipo.”

“I mean, do people still ask for people’s hand in marriage in 2017?”

“What do you mean by that Ndi?”

“I mean, people meet, fall in love, and then the man proposes, something like that.”

“You want me to fall in love with him first?”

“Not that Maya. I mean it sounds very backward that someone just shows up from somewhere to ask for your hand in marriage.”

“He spoke with my mum.”

“And…”

“And she agreed.”

“My God! So what is going to happen now?”

“Mum says he is coming tomorrow evening.”

“To do what?”

“To meet with the family. And then…”

“And then what?”

“And then they will hear from me.”

“What does that mean?”

“That means I will have to say tomorrow if I will marry him or not.”

“Of course you are not marrying him.”

“I cannot refuse my mother anything.”

“Meaning…”

“I will have to marry him if that is what my mother wants. She is the way she is now because of me.”

“No you won’t. You cannot mortgage your life for your mother.”

“My father is in prison because of me. My mother has suffered to train us all by herself since. If I get married, it would mean less financial stress for her. And the man I hear has money. He will help us.”

“What sort of nonsense are you saying, Maya?”

“But you heard me.”

“So what will happen to me? To us?”

“There is no us, Ndi. At least not anymore.”

I was quiet for a whole minute. She had met me where I sat alone on the soakaway slab thinking about my life. My cousin Mkpoikanna had not yet returned from the wharf, and Irikefe my regular companion was on another of his frequent disappearing acts. I did not know then that his absence was in connection with selling Alhaji Sirika’s number 225. There was no light as was always the case. In the darkness, I could see a tear bead on her cheek and her eyes had taken the hue of the setting sun.

“Come” I said and stood up.

“No. You go first. I will meet you there.”

Five minutes later the door of my room opened and Maya stepped in. I immediately turned down the wick of the lantern and set it in the corner of the room, and then I locked the door and stood and faced Maya.

“I don’t want to marry him” she said softly.

“I know,” I said and took her hands in mine.

“I will tell him I am pregnant,” she said. “It is the one thing I know my mother or the men from her place cannot take.”

“But you are not pregnant Maya.”

“Then make me pregnant, Ndifreke.”

For months I had dreamt of this moment but I did not know it would come like this. I desired Maya because she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. But I did not know if this was the best way to go about it. If she went against her mother’s wish of marrying to lessen the burden on the family, what would become of her? I could barely put food on my own table let alone feed another mouth. And I was squatting in a room with a cousin whom I could not hand any more responsibilities. All those thoughts dimmed like the light of my lantern when Maya came closer to me and her breasts touched my chest. I let out an involuntary moan and pulled her body into mine and she wrapped her hand around my neck and said: “what took you so long Ndifreke?”

“We are not dogs Maya. Calabar people are not dogs.”

“Make love to me” she whispered. Don’t let me marry that man.”

I proceeded to do the first thing she asked of me. I did not know how I would do the second. Now as I went up the stairs to where I thought Mama Akunna could be hiding it all came back to me.

The last room on the top floor had been unoccupied for months as the original occupant; having not paid rent for two years had locked the room and disappeared. The new tenement laws of the State meant that Alhaji Sirika threaded with caution, and the caretaker, Irikefe’s dad I learned had a special affection for this occupant and so he made it possible for the Alhaji to forget about the room. Irikefe had told me that Wasiu had broken into the room and was hiding his drugs there so that if he was to be arrested again and his room searched, there would be nothing incriminating found, which could help him stay out of jail. I reasoned that his recent closeness with mama Akunna could see him give her access to the room at a time like this.

I got to the room and turned the door handle and it opened. Sat on the bed was Mama Akunna. She had a shriveled nipple in the mouth of Akunna’s new born baby.

“New Calabar boy. I know say you go come na why I open the door.”

“What is this Mama?”

“Shut up ya mouth dia.”

“You can’t…”

“If you no shut up, I go go tell mama Tobi say you dey nack him pikin wey dem wan come marry."

“Haa” I gasped.

“You know say if she no cut dat ya tin comot she go use her fufu stick break ya coconut head.”

“Mama…”

“Wetin you go do for me be say you go go tell everybody say dem kidi-nap me with Akunna pikin.”

“But Mama."

“But mama wetin? Before I close my eye open am I want make you disappear for hia. When you don do am, make you come tell me so we go plan wetin we go do. Make nobody see you as you dey enter hia. Awero must to go.”



TO BE CONTINUED.

queenitee:
Jesus!!! Casting me bawo? Ehmmm, I'm blushing
Thank you, thank you


Name; oyelami Oyebisi Esther
Location: Oyo
Relationship status; Single
Nairaland Literature crush; D9ty7 and Divepen1( hide face)

Wow, thanks

DISAPPEARED

We all ran after him. Alhaji Sirika ran after us too and was shouting “What is going on? Can somebody tell me what is happening?”

Akunna got to his room and flung the door open. He took in the whole room in two seconds and was out again in the corridor before the first of his pursuers reached him. “She is not there” he said, his face suddenly a mask of horror. Three people entered the room and checked and came out all saying there was no one in the room. “She disappeared. She has disappeared with my son” Akunna lamented. He sank to the floor and the machete fell from his hand. His face became flushed and his speech began to slur.

“You better not faint again,” Josiah said. You have to get up and lead a search. She could not have gone very far.”

“She don disappear. Na winch,” Someone said.

“Shut up there. Oya, let’s check the backyard, and the kitchen too. There are not too many places to hide in this compound,” Mr Zubi said.

Then Akunna sprang up and shouted “The well! She had thrown my son inside the well!” He made for the backyard and again we ran after him.

The backyard was serene. You could tell no one had come this way for a few hours. But Akunna still opened the cover of the well and looked inside.

“Let’s go. Nothing happened here” Mr Zubi said.

“I saw a big bird flying away and holding something in its mouth” Castro, Mr Zubi’s eldest son said.

“Get out from here! Ewu Gambia” his dad said with a murderous glare at him.

“Stop pretending all of you. You all know Mama is a witch. Okay, tell me, where is she now? Do we have a bush or a garage or a tunnel in this compound? They occupy only one room and the room is empty. The woman has done what witches do. Vanish!” He said and turned and walked away.

Alhaji Sirika witnessing all this was uncomfortable. He called Mr Zubi to one side and said “Zubi. Can someone tell me what is happening here?”

Mr Zubi looked around and said “Actually, there is a big misunderstanding somewhere Alhaji. It is a compound issue. We will sort ourselves out.” Alhaji Sirika shrugged and made for the frontage.

“Meanwhile Alhaji, what informed the sign you have just out up there? Who is interested in buying your house?”

“I got tipped off that somebody brought people to come and inspect the house. I am only protecting the public from 419.” Alhaji Sirika sought reassurance from Mr Zubi that whatever the problem was with Akunna would be resolved. They then began to discuss other issues. I noticed that Irikefe had stayed back when we ran after Akunna. I saw him seated on the soak away slab and contemplating the new sign the Alhaji had just put up, so and went over to him.

“That old fool just ruined my plans bros” He said as soon as he looked up and saw me.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I was going to sell the house.”

“What?”

“That was my escape route bros.”

“Wait wait wait irikefe. You mean this happened because of you?”

“He doesn’t know who is involved”

“How could you…?

“My father is the caretaker here, remember? I know things.”

“You know things does not mean you do whatever you like. You could go to prison if caught.”

“Stop preaching bros. I have to make money somehow.”

“You really have a criminal mind now.”

“Make I hear word bros. Right under our noses, 25 billion dollars disappeared from NNPC. The court is saying they should release ill-gotten billions to a former first lady who did nothing but help children fail English in WAEC. I am trying to grab my own.”

“Alhaji Sirika is not the government!”

“He is a government contractor. He never executed any of the contracts as far as we know. He built this house and many others from ill gotten government money. I want my share bros.”

“First it was yahoo. Later you tried blackmail. Now you want to sell somebody’s house. Irikefe!”

He stood up and walked away.

Then Mkpoikanna came by, worry etched on his face.

“What happened now?”

“Man U tear my ticket.”

“You are still gambling?”

“No be gambling joor. Na betting.”

“I see.”

“That useless Mourinho. He is supposed to start with Rashford and Miki-Miki.”

Just then I saw Wasiu trying to sneak out with a knapsack across his back; no doubt going out to replenish his merchandise.

“Wasiu come.”

“He hopped over with a broad smile on his face.”

“Where is mama?”

He tried to avert his eyes but I bent my face in every direction he tried to look, making sure he did not escape my scrutiny. “You know where she is.”

“Guy, this thing no concern me. I dey comot.”

“You know the police were here yesterday?”

At the mention of the word police he stood at an attention.

“Good. So where is mama?”

He hesitated a beat and then looked around. People were now in smaller groups. I could still see Alhaji Sirika talking with Mr Zubi.
“Wait first” Wasiu said and went into the compound. After five minutes he returned and said “Follow me. Original Calabar boy, you stay. No come use your mumu put me for trouble.”


TO BE CONTINUED.

Grendel:

nice one bro.


good update.

i'm owing you one big bottle of chilled Origin when you come around.

Don't mind that at all man