₦airaland Forum

wizz the man: Since ave been reading tales on NL,dis is d worst..Stupid,Dumb,Annoying and full incomprehendable sh*ts..If I eva see u post any useless tales here,I ll snd Boko haram ur house address.

hahahaahaahah c threat na.......wen we knw dat bokoharam = politicians ....... So I cnt b afraid of Dem

[quote author=Big.game]Op, are you a Nollywood scriptwriter?[/quote]u re tryin to tel us dat nollywood cnt organise a writeup na

KweenAdz: Long story....who has d time to read ds nonsense...I dnt fink I wanna know wat u wrote sef

I dnt tink I'm d one dat advice ur bf not to buy u any xmas tins...

teemy: found the story quite interesting as well as the lesson implied. even story was never true, the reminder in this felicitating of keeping marriage morals is required. good job

thanks thanks thanks #jumping up and thanking u

gbosaa: Op..you shld be chained to a psychiatric hospital bed immediately.

u re not wronng my brother but who wil get d mind now after seeing my story?

zeb04: U really scared me

I'm sorry dear.....I jus wan to get myself scared so I cannot talk to any gal dis season

Obasgilbert: Lion liar of the tribe of judah

over funny dey worry u ......

You guys just need to read this.....
It happened in calabar few weeks
back. I heard it today in a BRT bus.
This world is becoming even more
scary oh.
A newly married man saw a
prostitute clothed seductively by the
road. she was just to sexy to be
overlooked. He picked her up and
abandoned the way home to a hotel.
He lodged in with her. In less than
five minutes he was on top of her.
The prostitute was as flexible as a
snake. When he was having sex with
her, her moanings sounded like a
'hissing snake'. But he was carried
away with her moves and didn't
really give his concern to it. The
married man had sex with her over
and over again. Paid her more than
what they bargained.
He woke up at voodoo hour with the
intention of having another round
with her. He didn't find her on the
bed. He heard hissing sounds in the
bathroom. He scrambles out of bed
and saunters to the bathroom. He
opened the door. His heart beat
drummed heavily as he saw big
pythons talking to each other. He
screamed loudly. The pythons leaped
on him. He ran to the door and found
it locked. The pythons crawled to
him. He shouted for help and banged
the door. The pythons got to him and
jumps to strike him. Immediately he
woke up! And almost screamed but
couldn't when he discovered it was
just a nightmare. The room was dark.
The lights were switched off he felt.
He felt something cold touching his
body. He searched with his hands
and it felt like a cylinder with a hard
skin impregnated with scales. He
finally felt something trying to
swallow his head. He touched it and
discovered it was a big snake trying
to swallow him up. The room wasn't
dark. His head, down to his chest was
inside the snake's mouth. The snake's
poisonous saliva covered his face. He
started struggling and struggling. But
the snake pinned him down. He tried
to scream for help but couldn't
because if he opens his mouth, the
snake's poisonous saliva will flow in
and he will unavoidably swallow it
forcefully. He kicked his leg, used his
hands but the snake was too strong.
He managed to bite the snake's
tongue. The snake got wounded and
forcefull vomits him. He looked at the
snake with blood on his mouth and
discovered it was a big python. He
grabbed an empty bottle and
smashed the python. The python
collapsed. He jerked up and jumped
out of the bed. He started screaming
for help. He dashed out of the hotel.
He got home, looking all clean and
cool. His wife was asleep aleady. He
crawled into the bed beside his wife
and slept off. He woke up almost at
dawn and discovered his wife has
turned into a snake.. The wife told
him everything he did and how he
stroke a python dead. Before he
could apologise, his wife tod him she
was her mother disguised in a
different body. He cheated on him
with her mother. She so got angry.
The man almost commited suicide.
His wife told him to return to that
hotel and carry her mother back to
the house if not she'll kill him. He left
immediately and rushed down to the
hotel. He went straight to the hotel
room and found his wife, mother-
inlaw, his sister, his mother in the
room. They were all hissing like
snakes. Immediately he realised they
were all in the same secret cult. They
stood up and watch him without
saying a word. Great panic gripped
him by the throat. He couldn't talk.....
And the only problem now is **I
don't just know how I will end this
FAKE story...****
Mtcheww www...Happened in Calabar
my foot..... Fake story joor...I'm sorry
if I scared you.
Anyway this is one way of saying *be
careful* The season is not as safe as it
appears.

ABUJA — Poised for a last fight, the Alhaji Bamangar Tukur-led Peoples Democratic Party,
PDP, yesterday, asked the Abuja Division of the Federal High Court to declare seats of the five ‘rebel governors’ that left its fold to the All Progressive Congress, APC, vacant.
The five governors are Murtala Nyako of Adamawa State, Rotimi Amaechi of Rivers, Alhaji Magatakarda Wamakko of Sokoto, Alhaji Rabiu Kwankwaso of Kano and Alhaji Abdulfatai Ahmed of Kwara State.
The party maintained that going by the express provisions of Sections 177 (c), 221 and 222 (c) of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, the court ought to declare that the governors are ineligible to remain in office, having defected to the APC.
Aside the five Governors, PDP, equally joined the Independent National Electoral Commission, INEC, as a defendant in the suit.
In the suit which it filed through a Senior Advocate of Nigeria, Dr Alex Aigbe Iziyon, the party, beseeched the court for, among others, “a declaration that by the combined provisions of Sections 177 (c), 221 and 222 (c) of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria 1999 (as amended) the 2nd to 6th defendants who were elected on the platform of the plaintiff cannot continue to enjoy the mandate given to the plaintiff by the people/electorate of the respective states as the 2nd to 6th defendants have defected to the All Progressive Congress (APC).
“A declaration that in the absence of any division known and recognised by law in the plaintiff, the 2nd to 6th defendants who were elected under the plaintiff’s platform have vacated or forfeited their seats forthwith upon their defection to All Progressive Congress (APC).”
Besides, PDP further sought an order of the high court, mandating/directing the state Houses of Assembly of Adamawa, Rivers, Sokoto, Kano and Kwara, to forthwith, commence impeachment proceedings against the 2nd to 6th defendants.
Meanwhile, the Chief Judge of the Federal High Court, Justice Ibrahim Auta, is yet to assign the case to any judge for adjudication.
http://www.weyab.com/2013/12/pdpvsG7.html

NappilyNigerian: A lot of people don't think Nigerian hair can grow long and soft unless they are mixed or their hair is relaxed...that isn't true.

Nigerians can have soft and long hair too whether relaxed or natural.

The problem is that we don't really know how to care for our hair type.

The Indians know how to care for their coarse straight hair (coarse being that their hair strands are thick ...people confuse coarse with 'the feel of the hair' not the strand thickness...your hair can be coarse and feel soft).
The Brazilians, the Chinese, the Caucasians all know how to care for their hair type but unfortunately many Africans don't know how to care for their hair.

They'll use products and methods suited for the hairtypes of other races ....and when their hair revolts by being hard, dry, break and such....they blame the hair....not the products or methods!

The key to growing soft, long Nigerian hair is this "NOURISH THE SCALP, STRENGTHEN THE HAIR".

Avoid products and methods that clog or dry out the scalp.
Avoid products and methods that damage the hair strands.

Most Nigerians have hair (in it's natural state) that is
-very coily
-fine stranded
-porous

which make it prone to dryness (reason for the hard to touch) and breakage (reason we don't have long hair).

Even if your hair is relaxed, it can't change the fact that our strands are much thinner and flatter than the straight hair of other races and the chemicals make our hair even more fragile.

Here are simple tips to grow Nigerian hair long and soft.

1.Nourish the scalp

-Natural oils and butters contains nutrients that nourish the scalp.
The scalp is the soil from which hair grows.

-Scalp massages with oils know to stimulate hair growth is beneficial not only to growing hair but also to growing stronger, healthier hair that can withstand styling and be less prone to breakage (which is the reason why one is stuck with one length forever!!!!)..

- Washing the scalp with harsh products dry it out leading to scalp problems and poor hair growth. So use good quality products.

The Indians know it. The Brazilians know it!


2. Strengthen and protect the hair:
- The hair that grows out of your scalp is relatively is not living tissue.Healthy, soft hair starts from the scalp.

- Because our hair is super coily, the natural oils on our scalp cannot flow down to the ends of our hair. (same thing even when you're relaxed. You can't get all the kinks out without damaging the hair).
So a light coating of natural oil daily helps lubricate and protect the strands and retain moisture.

- Speaking of moisture, dryness is the reason our hair feels hard to touch and the reason it breaks.
It's important to use hair products that draw moisture to the cortex of the hair strands keeping it supple, flexible, soft and less prone to breakage. (meaning more visible growth).

- Also don't rip through tangles with a comb (never use those blue rat tailed comb!)
Use a wide tooth comb and detangle from bottom to top as carefully as you would detangled your treasured Brazilian/Peruvian/Indian weave.

- If you're relaxed, make sure your hair is completely dry and oiled (I love coconut oil) before detangling. If you're natural, damp or wet detangling with slippery conditioner will save your length.

Here's a picture of my hair using the right methods and products for my Afro textured hair and I hope to grow it even longer!

so so sexy http://www.weyab.com/2013/12/how-to-grow-nigerian-hair-long-my-hair.html

[quote author=koder_Neptune]I will sugget u try some softwares like Recuva and others from http://www.techracle.com/system-efficiency/[/quote]koder y do u want to spam pples mails....y phishing wit dis ur useles link and method...pls b very careful or i wil deal wit u personally

[quote author=sweet-tease] [/quote]u surprise how i entered nl................ u cnt leave me #music i need u to love me

Raymondenyi: I don dey watch yu since; now Ikm begining to "like" U, can we mek it wrk?

Raymond pls na me post dis news ooooo so no come here come toast my babe .......seun warn him ooooo

emorse: I don't know whether to laugh or empathise.
BTW, I hear its now so difficult to win at Old Trafford, even Man. United can't win there.

wait cant understand u......u mean man u against MAN u ......? hmmm na draw or the two man u go lose

moyes bought fake MANURE

A Kenyan fan unable to cope with Manchester United’s loss to Newcastle United committed suicide over the weekend, according to police.

John Macharia, 28, plunged to his death from a multi-storey apartment block in the capital, Nairobi. This followed United’s 1-0, their second home defeat in four days.

“Macharia jumped from seventh floor of an apartment at Pipeline Estate after realising that his team Manchester United lost 1-0 to Newcastle at Old Trafford and committed suicide,” said Nairobi’s County Police Commander Benson Kibui.

Macharia’s death is reminiscent of the suicide by a Kenyan Arsenal fan in 2009. Suleiman Omondi, 29, was found hanging in his flat after the Gunners were trounced 3-1 by Manchester United in the second leg of a Champions League semi-final.

Kibui urged football-obsessed Kenyan fans to support local teams rather than foreign clubs who do not have a link to the east African nation.

“The football fans should enjoy the matches… but they should not commit suicide since life is very precious,” Kibui added.
http://www.weyab.com/2013/12/kenyan-commits-suicide-over-manchester.html

Didn't even read the post.........pls NL explain

Den y cnt FG pay first? Who is fooling who

⅜

ASUU Sack Ultimatum: We ‘ll consult on deadline, says Jonathan
Saying, however, that government will consult on the deadline to ASUU members, he said, “So that we will not be perceived to be insensitive, we will consult on the deadline”.
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/12/ASUU-ll-consult-deadline-says-jonathan/

Well what can I say even the so graduates don't even have job. May b holding education for some while is their system of allowing those graduates first to get jobs before this ones start coming out to join them. First time in my life I'm saying " what a joky nation " . All shall happen for my good. R.I.P EDUCATION

okpara ugo: Your husband must be daft doing this to you

help me tel him ooooo

GEJ if d north can't allow u to sail d ship "Nigeria " peacefully pls SINK dat fucking ship and come bak .......... Ntg will happen

She was ambitious when you first met
her. She told you everything she
wanted to become. She told you how
poor her family is and her dream to
make it in life. You loved her and
married her promising her heaven and earth. She believed and trusted you.
You convinced her to have a baby first
and then go back to school or pursuing
her career. Now she has given you
babies but you still keep her at home.
You go out everyday and come home calling her useless. She asks for money
to buy her cream only for you to tell her
that her mates are out there making
money while all she knows is how to
waste it. You don't give her money to
take care of herself but you go out there and buy lovely cars and clothes
for yourself. You even have the gut to
give your secretary a market list for her
to go and buy things for your wife to
cook; a big insult to any woman. Even
when you allow her to go to the market, you make sure there is no coin
left for her to buy a panty for herself.
You go out there and admire all the
beautiful women whose husbands
have given freedom and those whose
husbands love spending on. You even lift their skirts to see their panties and
then you begin to feel that your own
wife at home is dirty. Sir, she is not dirty;
she is only wearing the rags you give
her.
At every slightest thing, you remind her how poor her people are and how her
father couldn't send her to school.
Several times have you shattered her
already broken spirit with your words.
Oga, you knew that her family is poor
and yet you walked into that humble family to pick a wife. Are you telling me
your reason for marrying her is to
make her poorer? You even stopped
her from inviting her parents to your
house all because you think you are
god. If after you married that poor girl, her family does not move to a higher
level because of you, know that God is
not happy with you. You may not even
know if you are prospering because of
her presence in your life.
Several times has she talked to you reminding you of your promise to her
and all you do is shout at her. You call
her useless and yet you don't want to
give her the opportunity to prove to
you that she is not useless. You
stopped her from acquiring the certificate she so dreamed of. You force
her, against her own wish, to be a full
time housewife. You go through
magazines admiring great women and
wishing to have one like them
forgetting that a man like you is somewhere giving them the support
and strength to soar. You love good
things on women but can't stand
seeing them on your own wife. Don't
you think you are a wicked man?
Crystal.

[quote author=Okiki_Oluwa]Ok[/quote]Beware of these creatures!|mukina2, sexkillz & deols.They can rrrape you on this site.|Last Bullet:|Say no to unjust bans on Nairaland.| | Some mods are due for sacrifice

I don't know if you notice something about the intensity of the sun ........ Its like we are in fire ........well for your notice COMET ISON is moving directly towards the sun , right now it has entered the earths space with respect to the sun ........ It will be closest to the sun by 28th and 29th of this month November and at its brightest ......... I believe we can see it with our naked eyes but pls try to block the sun first before searching for the comet .....how ? By hiding the sun behind a building or using ur hand to block ur view to the sun then you can search for the comet .......let's hope this brings good fortune........and not negative issues . Best Academy " TRINITY ACADEMY"

https://m.facebook.com/photo.php?_e_pi_=7%2CPAGE_ID10%2C8066625622

Soon na toothbrush made wit ankara....naija self

No pix , it didn't happen

c me

facebook.com/trinityacademyobosi

Awka -The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) on Saturday rescheduled the Anambra governorship election in 65 polling units in Obosi, Idemili North local government.

The commission said in a statement in Awka that the election would hold in the area on Sunday.

“Due to serious logistics and related challenges, the INEC wishes to inform all political parties, the electorate and the general public that it has rescheduled the election for Obosi Registration Area of Idemili North Local government Area.

“The election in the ward will now take place tomorrow, Sunday, 17th November, 2013 in all the 65 polling units,’’ the statement signed by the Resident Electoral Commissioner in the state, Prof. Chukwuemeka Onukaogu, said.

Onukaogu said the accreditation of voters would commence at 8 a.m. in all the 65 polling units while voting would begin at 12:30 p.m.

He regretted any inconveniences the rescheduling might cause members of the public. (NAN)
http://www.weyab.com/2013/11/inec-reschedules-anambra-guber-election.html

I wil b dere live .............. Still sad at anambra election , very bad election , worse ever in d history of nig ......... Who wil deliver us ?