₦airaland Forum

Hey Folks,

I just picked up a chick, As i was going home on tuesday. She asked i dropped off her off in her fathers house so she can freshen up before we sit out.

After the sit out, She followed me to the house.
When it was 12 mid-nite, she woke me up from sleep for prayers after which we immediately got intimate.

I was amazed, when i woke up this morning and saw multiple pants in the bathroom. she has infested my house with her belongings in just 2days.

The question is, She has been living in my house since that tuesday, And my Fiancee is gonna come this weekend.

Now, I must tell her go lest i find myself in hot soup.

Nairalanders, How do i ask her politely to leave.

Meanwhile, the babe na calabar chick, wey get one bad backyyyyy.

Sincere and mature advice needed.

This pic was shot seconds before we embarked on a 3 hour journey for the introduction of my beautiful lady.

We were 5 mins away from her house, whenthis happened.

26/10/2014 will always remain a sobering reminder that in life we are dead.

While trying to avoid a vehicle on a wrong lane. The wheel disintegrated and the car sumersaulted and threw us into the bush.

We came out unharmed.

I went back to the scene of the accident in the morning and I asked my self so many unanswered questions. How did we not fall into the river, how did we not hit any of those trees. How did we not kill anyone on that busy stretch. I came up with just one conclusion. *it was not our time yet*

people have been trying to abuse my mind negatively about the event, But i simply refused to listen.

Please join me and thank God for keeping us alive to see today.

[quote author=Olucheye]1 If you were given a box of pencils, list 10 things you could do with them that are not their traditional use.

1. Use it to Turn a traditional radio cassette.
2. Chop into small pieces, to be used spot markers
3. Remove the graphite in it and use it a lubricant for my lab machine or key lock as the need may arise.
4. Use to fix stubborn zip on my clothes.
5.open things sealed up in plaStic... Like a 5alive seal.
6. Put it in a ruler that has a hole on it and spin like we use to do in primary school. Helicopter of life, chief boredom savior.
7. Play drums and make music/noise.
8. The eraser could clean any corrections.
9. Would also serve as a makeshift ruler in times of desperate need. E.g plotting a graph... Axis X & Y.
10. A deadly weapon. For example, stabbing either the Carotid artery(ies) or jugular vein(s)

2. How would you solve problems if you were from Mars?
If I was from Mars, problems on earth will be alien to me, hence the need to go into explorative research to determine cause, effects, and proffered solution.

On a lighter note, I'd wake up from my dream and stop imagining if I was from Mars. It's certain already that in this life, i will never be from Mars...I'm already an earthling!

3. What's the most creative way you can break a clock?

Remove the battery or knock out the engine cold.It will still tell the right time twice everyday.

4. A disc is spinning on a spindle, and you don't know which way. You are given a set of pins. Describe how you would use them to determine which way the disc is spinning.

Drop the base of the pin first on the disk, the direction which the tip of the pin fall towards is the backward direction while the base will point forward.

5. You have a bag of with "N" number of strings. At random, you pull out a string's end. You pull out another string end and you tie the two together. You repeat this until there are no loose ends left to pull out of the bag. What is the expected number of loops?

Number of Loops = N/2 - X(string's end)

Mathematicians, kindly help.

6. You want to design a phone for deaf people — how do you do it?

It'll only have only a vibrat*r (which one is romance machine again Seun) and a compatible screen, then a software that coverts all voice calls to text on his phone.
2. Phone will come with a real or virtual keyboard to reply both voice and texts all in form of messages.
3. Each notifications will vibrate to notify him/her of all alerts

7. How would you design an elevator?

Traditional styled with a couple of extra designs such as being opaque to people on the outside for privacy, music while you ride it on high rise buildings, fresh air vent for occupants from people who fart while riding.

8. Why should we not hire you?

I hate being stereotypical. Hence, if the offered job position isn't going to offer me challenges that will afford me developmental and mental growth via deep thoughts and adept research, I'll get weary and bored which consequentially will impede my productivity and contributions as a staff.


9. How do you compute the collision of two moving spheres? Give me both the mathematical equations for the solution as well as an algorithmic implementation.

Sorry, I'm a graduate of the college of Medicine.
But I think it should be somewhat related to recoil speed.
If you remember Okeke Physics.

10. Name as many Microsoft products as you can.

Word, PowerPoint, Excel, spreadsheet, windows 97, 98, Vista, Windows 7, windows 8, internet explorer, Windows phone OS (Nokia Lumia Series) e.t.c


[b]Permit me to add, I'm a fresh graduate who's actively seeking internship opportunities with Public health related NGO's but I'm not limited to that, as I'd appreciate any opportunity to put to active use my versatility in any organization. I'd appreciate any opportunity to prove myself.
Kindly send me a PM on NL if you've got any available opportunities.

Cheers!

Believe me when I say this, You are an unusually talented individual, Please dont relent. The sky is certainly your limit. May the best be yours.
warmest regards

That list is a pure joke...

Yorub vs ibo shit, when una go stop!

Being ibo, working with yorubas was an almost impossible task.

They steal, gosssip and do all sorts of ridiculous things.

Sometimes I wish I cn have an youruba wiper missile, to take these disgruntled, naïve people out of the face of the earth ..


All of you! Fucking slaves
quote author=chiefinalowo]

I am 100% sure that you are ibo. You can prove me wrong.
While your people are saying casting down, Yorubas are saying lifting up.[/quote]

Die it very fast,
Mumu..
Na for online media u dey do frat.
Fool

ballabriggs: Aromate! Aromate!! Aromate!!! Ayikperere Ayikperere!! Ayikperere!!!

Boys let us go and bring our weapons for this man.

come this idiot, carry this stupid car go throway...u wan rip nigerians out.

my friend carry these accidented cars go throway...

Since last night, the news of goldies death hs been everywhere..now who da Bleep cares if she is dead or not...millions perish daily and no one cries, then one person goes to sleep and a lot of people start loosing sleep. Let's concern ourselves with something a bit creative and innovative...those whom the gods love, die young...

Who d Bleep is goldie harvey...while millions persih daily and no one fucking sheds tears..always remember that those whom the gods love die young....

Once known as “The Baddest Man on the Planet”, the boxer said having his first menstrual cycle “would be a dream come true”, and that from now on he would be known as Michelle.

“Some people might think it strange that I’m now a woman,” said Tyson, who underwent complete facial feminisation, orbital bone contouring and nasal surgery in an operation lasting over 16 hours.

‘But even at the height of my career, when pound for pound I was regarded as the best fighter in the world, I never lost touch with my feminine side and knew that one day I would grow breasts and have a vagina.’

Iron Mike was given the all-clear for gender reassignment surgery following a successful course in hormone replacement therapy which, in his autobiography, the boxer blamed for his 1996 defeat at the hands of Evander Holyfield.

Although at the time Tyson insisted he was fit enough to carry on with the fight, referee Mitch Halpern stopped the bout in the 11th round saying Tyson looked flushed, was sweating profusely and appeared to be lactating heavily from his left breast.

Tyson, said he hoped being female would finally convince the American people that his “bad-boy” days were over and he had turned over a new leaf.

http://www.thestandard.co.zw/2012/12/09/mike-tyson-now-female/

1.4m......lets deal asap

Climaths: U are a confuse man bro, if u seek counselin i think u should better rephrase ur topic, so we talk wit love and understandin. Stay bless

Dream on bro, dream on...

inurmind: Yeah it is funny when u think about it.
God who sees the future saw that he would create a race who would get tempted by satan, commit all sort of evil, and who he would regret creating multiple times.

Yet he still goes on to create them, allows the devil tempt them, punishes them for something he could have prevented, and later regrets creating beings he knew he would regret creating?

He sure would make a good business man.

Biggest mistake of all time...can this be justified...biggest fairytale story of all time....tell me something else jare...

Being an academic, the greatest lie ever told was the existence of the supreme being who over sees all our affairs.
There is absolutely nothing like God..
The bible and koran are delusion of grandeur( greatest lie of all time)
I have 3 questions for you all?
Who listens to your prayers? A santa claus story!
Religon ws simply formed to give solace in times of difficulty.

Your religion today was being dictated by your parents ...true or false?

Why now the whole religion crisis.
Islam is also one funny religion with very absurd principles and insane beliefs..

I enjoin you all to live your life to the fullest...cos indeed there is no God..

Justify your arguement folks?

Charles009 baked up a story of how his ex was trailing him, and later how the girl passed on.

Now these stories is a complete hoax with major intent,to manipulate nairalanders emotions.

I came up with the following conclusions.

1) the first group of guys and babes dont cheat! they dislike cheating with passion.

the second group of people believe everything they read.

and the third group are pure investigators( maybe from watching too much CFI)

thanks to people like acidosis( u by far had the best advice, u may consider love counseling as a pofession though, just an advice)

Lady Tc ( u were everywhere< na so love matter they sweet u. my ex this, my ex that! abeg get over him.. ) abi u dey leave?

2 sexy ( u be jack bauer of naija) nice one...

Iguru ( u love karma a lot why? na mindset jare, why karma never kill some of our past leaders)

Benye( i sure say u have a divine call, open a small kiosk, from there the pllar of a mighty church will stand...obocinte kanate mananaaa)u have a divine call

steffan( love ur emotions) i can feel it in between ur lines

At topmosta u made ma day, i had the lol fits for more than 10 mins..nairalanders abeg make una see below!

( eeya, sorry bro, may her soul restsed in peace, may the family poccess the strenths to acceptanced the loss) major grammatical fix!

charles009 is happy married with 2 kids!!!


one love nairalanders, one love Nigeria!!

Duduconfirm: How many girls did dis op date/ dump. He's just wasting his/our precious time. If u r a good story writer why not call wale adenuga Or muyiwa ademola. FOoool

Comon, show some respect to the dead..don't be stupid and naïve...

2sexy: I dey tell you... may be he dey find front page things...

i think i have grown over some certain lies...u reason like a deranged sociopath....

cinammon: 'you can live with the lie but the truth will kill you'

why reciting my adage!

hey people, i was here some days back telling how a certain girl was thrailing me around cos of the fact that i promised her marriage.

The girl passed on yesterday night.
The sister called me! all my world has crashed, cant believe this, cant concentrate!

I wronged her, and yet did not apologise.

Can she ever forgive me!

Please i need your prayers, May her soul rest in peace.

Pray for her folks, she deserved more!

My heart bleeds!

i know she is happy where she is!

may her soul rest in perfect peace amen!

any iota of brain cells major grammatical fix!


Fcck you man...u r sick nd bereft of any iota of braincells..phool talking to desh..go grab some balls nd tell ur ex galfriend d plain truth..u can't stand up to some gal dat gave u life when u had none..its desh u wanna raise ur s1lly voice at..I wish I can B1tch slapp u nw..monkey with home..[/quote]