₦airaland Forum

When creating your spec list, kindly include genotypes to avoid heartbreak.

Know your genotype today. Don’t work too hard only to discover that your genotype does not align with that of your partner.

IconicR:
Yes it's a family thing

Kudos to your family. Some families have the ability to do this but they just won't. Good to know your family is on the right path.

IconicR:
I do get checked monthly

So it's 25 days back I checked

This is beautiful and I must say you're doing yourself a big favour. I hope those around you follow your lead.

When last did you get checked by your doctor?

In order not to be taken unaware ensure you do your medical routine tests e.g. Full blood count (FBC).
So when last did you get checked?

LOL.....Giving your partner a mirror of their image

eboniest:
Imitate his behaviors, he will understand and change for the better..

What if you are married to this person and you have kids?

Adrielbradshaw:
Truth is this, it is really difficult to manage a "difficult partner".... Except you can endure and tolerate his/her excesses, but if you can't, my bro/sis, biko jejely carry your body comot 4 d@ relationship, it is not a do or die affair....

Or are you trying to please society/their family that you are good person, na gunner u b o!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What if you are married to this person?

Exceed15:
I let go of difficult partner. Life is short. Let me enjoy it in peace.

lol...seems like you like vawulence

Relevant123:
Common sense is not common

Slap them if they misbehave and continue the relationship

Love is beautiful, however, it can be challenging to manage.

How can one look past the partners' flaws and love them regardless?

Flaws in this context is when a partner lacks common sense.

It should be " Fear Grips Residents as[b] Louts[/b] Operates Under Lagos Bridge"

Use Louts not Touts

This is just so our children do not continue making the same mistakes.

Assumptions

Over familiarity

Not making time for each other.

Not engaging in meaningful conversations.

Thinking the marriage will make itself work.

Not knowing each other’s goals.

Not having meaningful friendships outside of your marriage.

Truvelisback:
Good day, fellas. Why do marriages get boring after sometime? 🤔 I.e The love or feelings begin to wax cold or boring unlike when you both started.

Interesting! Most couples do not allow their partners access to their phones based on reasons known to them.

wunmi590:


What am I hiding that my wife can't have FULL access to my phone...

As I speak, she just returned my phone 📱 to me, as she used it for something....

Should we say there are boundaries but yet a healthy one?

Samantha124:
He can have access to my phone when necessary, but he's not entitled to it the same way I'm not entitled to his.

Do you also have access to her phone?

Sonnobax15:

Yes,she has.... Cuz I don't have anything to hide......

Does that mean your partner can have access to your phone?

Nice2023:
Hiding anything away from ur woman or man is tantamount to distrust.

Any specific reason?

Stawner16:
NO.

Valid point

GanagiBitrus:
Ideally for a married couple, there should neither be any Entitlement nor any Restrictions.

What if there's an emergency and they need access to your phone?

Candidlady:
What would you need my phone for

This shows that the couple have healthy communication.

illicit:
At least I can pick your calls and u can pick mine

I have seen happily married couples do that

There's a couple I know , if u looking for either of them, and u met one

The same thing u expect the other one to say is what the one u met will say

It's just like they have the same mind

Just in case you're not married, endeavour to discuss this phone issue with your partner since it's a big deal for you. Something I also noticed is your relationship with your dad. A little advice: learn to see your partner for who they are and try not to compare them with your dad. Allow your partner's personality to flourish.

IconicR:
I can't be with someone that'll hide his phones from me. If you can't be very open to me same way I'll do , then there's no need to be together. I hate that thing ehnnnn , you wan use curiosity kill me. I play with my dad's phone as I like, so I expect same from my oga.

You both need to seek counsel and start afresh.

Jewessgratitud3:
*From a concerned lady*👇‼️

My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they asked for.

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Advise this lady

Whether married or engaged, should your partner have access to your phone?

Yes or No? And maybe why?

If you could go back and change some things on your wedding day, what would it be?

An example would be my wedding cake.

Ndipe:
Temporary marriages are common in places like Iran where it can be renewed constantly. It is called sigheh.

True and thanks for bringing this to light.

Omuuvwie:
Renew ko Renew nii, How I wish it was temporary, I would have been too glad, I would have take off from the bondage that I am in at the moment all in the name of marriage.

There's always a solution. It just depends on your approach and how much work you and your partner are willing to put in to make your lives better.

Kcdojoto:
CAPITAL NO, I won't renew mine

Ahhhh

sureinfo:
God in heaven knows many people no go renew after the first 4 years

lol

freetheking:
I will renew it over and over again without minding the cost.

You're lucky

Omoawoke:
This generation, marriage should be temporary

The idea that it should be a life time commitment is scary and even worse. It should not be irreversible.

Sometimes, some things don’t just meet our expectations, and not until you experience it before you realize it wasn’t just for you.

If it is temporary, it gives people less pressure and a happier life.
You can try it out, if you love it, extend the union and enjoy as long as it makes meaning.
If it is not for you, cut out and continue your search for happiness.
With this, you can marry early and try it out, you can take more risks rather than over calculating and facing series of pressure of getting it right with only one and last shot

This is why premarital coaching or counselling is here to help you manage your expectations and make better decisions.

Angelfrost:
If it were temporary, I would apply and pay for a lifetime extension... I'm married to one of a kind.

Having a kind partner is a huge blessing. Kindness is one of the most important factors in sustaining a healthy marriage, yet people rarely consider it.

nihinlade:
Yes, will renew months before expiry.

This is another good angle. Renewing before expiration.

merits:
Why won't I renew?

Can you share one word about your partner that will make you want to renew?