₦airaland Forum

My dear, its well with u.

See, there are so many ways God speaks to his children, it might not be a loud voice saying 'READP40 REAP4O i am the lord thy God, marry XYZ' it could be through these signs you just noticed.

I have heard times, my parents did same with me, i did not end up with any of them- am not married though, but decisions like these goes beyond one prophesy of one MoG like that who was presented with two options to choose from. have you ask yourself, what if your mother had mistakenly taken two other ladies pix to the MoG to choose from, he would have probably also chosen an option for u from them.

No doubt God speaks, but its not only through the mouth of prophets. he can also show definite signs that will serve as pointers to you that the marriage will not sail smoothly.

There is an Igbo proverb that says' onye anadu, atufu kwala ako n'uche ya' meaning he that is being advised, should not throw away his own discretion or common sense.

My 2cents

let him check for TB

i did that in 2008. congratz

I hope some of our brothers are reading this.

Whatever it is that makes our brothers think, you must have to travel abroad for you to hit your target is a total turn off.

i like what you just wrote. it is very interesting to note. i want to believe that most men would appreciate an independent woman, where the problem comes is when there is a misplacement of prior. personally i like independent women but when it comes to marriage, am quick to check how you balance work and family life. once work life is all that matters to you, then there is a problem. i also try to be conscious of it because sometimes you can easily be carried away with out noticing it. but once you are making effort to balance it with a partner that understands too, then there should not be a problem

Why not convert the document to pdf and do an e signature. That way ur application will appear very professional

bigoduni: are we to print this form out and fill and then scan and attach to the mail add or do i fill it on d MS WORD like that??
asking because of d signature text form field.
pls anyone who has done this should pls respond.

I feel for you my dear, i cant even fathom this height of wickedness. all i can say is that you have to start doing something immediately. if he says he should leave his house. please do. no doubt you will have issues, but with time you will get back on your feet. mark my words; he will come back to you begging. what has happened is that, somebody somewhere is giving him confidence that once u re off his view, that she will step in and they will live happily after. but like me and u know, character die hard. soon he will resume his abuse on that one too and most likely, she will not condone it like you have done overtime. more so, God has a way of making those kind of people pay for their misgivings by sending their match their way.

This is what i have been to telling my sister over time, to start something instead of this house wife syndrome that have taken over her mentality.

Courage is all you need now. more so like somebody suggested, discuss it with your pastor or a confidant but please as they advise you, do not throw away your own common sense.

I pray for u and ur kind always.

please kindly organize for some of us in Abuja maybe anytime next year. i appreciate you greatly. if an average Nigerian that have succeeded will follow this path of mentorship, surely Nigeria will be a great place. You may wish to contact Fela Durotoye, Kunle Soriyon and Praise Fowowe. I know these guys are always willing to engage on such mentorship programmes to help build the Nigerian Youth.

I think you might know them, so i might not need to describe them further unless you will require that.

Thank you.

me i believe what Oga Jarus said about working in a head office of a highly successful business or conglomerate. if for no other thing, you tend to understand fast how the business is run, moreso, networking with high net-worth individuals are possible in the head office of large cooperations.

Alao, i watched that video of Dangote that somebody posted here, and he said something about thinking big and being bold. i think these factors combined with so many that guys have suggested here will go a long way to project somebody that early in life.

Aside from the above, entrepreneurship from scratch has to be entirely mindset driven and proper networking too.

my2kobo

Today, the Arewa Consultative Forum, ACF, is against the State of Emergency declared by the President in some Northern State. Last week the forum speaking through Anthony Sani had said “I do not believe state of emergency would be the panacea for the security challenges facing the nation. This is because it never addressed the ethno religious crises in Plateau State where it was applied for similar reasons. Also when state of emergency was applied in some local government areas in order to check the insecurity, it still did not deliver the needed peace.”

Sani “seriously” appealed to the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) “and those opposed to amnesty and dialogue to please give the dialogue and amnesty a chance, considering that the use of force has failed in counter terrorism not only in other climes but also in Nigeria when President Yar’Adua used it in 2009. It has also failed to deliver the desired result in Bama.”

But in 2009 the same Arewa Consultative Forum supported heavy military action against Niger Delta militants who did not kill innocent civilians like Boko
Haram is currently doing. Below is the statement that the ACF released in June of 2009;

“No responsible government can afford to fold its hands and watch a few misguided elements of its citizens hold the nation, including their own people and communities, to ransom.

More depressing, the will of the Armed Forces is being challenged when their members are killed in the course of their national assignment. In such circumstances, government cannot reasonably be expected to shirk in its responsibility of maintaining law and order. Hence the recent campaigns by the Operation Restore Hope by the military, aimed at ridding the Niger Delta region of criminal activities of the militants.

The campaigns must necessarily come with collateral damages, the JTF must maintain at its possible minimum.

This is how the current actions of the military in the Niger Delta should be viewed by all ‘fair-minded’ individuals with ‘patriotic courage.”

“Besides the Jews, probably no other linguistic group has suffered so much persecution in history as the Igbo have been obliged to endure in Nigeria.”

—Nnamdi Azikiwe, 1964

Although the Nigeria-Biafra Civil War, which claimed the lives of more than one million Igbo ethnic group, ended more than four decades ago, it appears however, that our country has yet to learn any lesson from the devastating consequence of the war. Recent events have shown that the ruling elite are poised to reopen the wounds of our ugly past thereby perpetuating the injustices that triggered one of the worst chapters in our nation’s history. A probing of the first half of Nigeria’s post-independence history has shown that the intriguing political timeline that led to the 1966 pogrom and the eventual civil war was as a result of the power struggle among the ruling elite and regional power blocs that sought to selfishly dominate political power shortly after independence from British rule.

The anti-Igbo feelings and ethnic mistrust that had brewed in the pre-colonial period also came to a head in the period after independence. It tragically culminated in the pogrom of 1966 and has also been blamed for the outbreak of the war. Whether this is true or not (although recent developments in the polity seem to confirm latent anti-Igbo feelings), it did however blossom into a full-blown ethnic mistrust among Nigeria’s major ethnic groups. In the early 1960s, for example, a general and widespread Igbo paranoia became a recipe for tension which later engulfed the country and threatened its very existence.

The rest is history.

When the war ended, the Gowon administration which had prosecuted the war, sought to heal the wounds of the past by re-integrating the Igbo back into the mainstream of the Nigerian society through his Reconciliation, Rehabilitation and Reconstruction programme. The three pronged approach included restoring what the ethnic group had lost economically and politically. But this post-war attempt to right the wrong by Gowon had been variously criticised as half-hearted and not far-reaching enough. Before the war, the Igbo had been at the commanding heights of commerce in the country. The war took a heavy toll on them politically and economically. Many Igbo lost properties and positions in the civil service and other sectors of the economy. They have never really recovered from the aftermath.

Sadly, many years after the war ended, the cries of marginalisation of the Igbo ethnic group have become more stringent. The need to right the wrong has often dominated political discourse. In recent times, no event has highlighted the persecution the Igbo are still suffering than the plight of the Movement for the Actualisation of the Sovereign State of Biafra. The current travails of the group in the hands of the Nigerian government have prompted me to reflect on the injustice in our country. It has also re-opened the existence or otherwise of an underlying anti-Igbo feeling harboured by the Nigerian establishment.

The plight of the group in the hands of the Nigerian government has helped to boldly put the issue in the sun (although it was never much in the shade). Whether we want to admit it or not, the predicament of the MASSOB has also brought to the fore the ugly truth of tribal discrimination in our country. The treatment of the MASSOB has portrayed Nigeria as the allegorical setting of George Orwell’s Animal Farm, where all animals are equal but some are more equal than the others. It has also shown that although we have fought the civil war and touted the “the no-victor no-vanquished” slogan, we are not ready to correct the imbalances and injustice that led to the war.

No group personifies the injustice the Igbo are facing in the country than the MASSOB. The group and its members are currently being victimised, harassed and persecuted by agents of government as was the case in the past administrations. Since its existence, MASSOB has been the subject of state sponsored intimidation. It has continued under this government. The recent recommendation for trial of MASSOB members for treason reinforces the deep-seated anti-Igbo feeling and marginalisation that many have alluded to years after the civil war ended. What explanation could possibly justify the recommendation for the trial of the Ralph Uwazurike-led non-violent group, MASSOB, while other groups like the Boko Haram and MEND have been offered amnesty? At its inception, MASSOB concentrated on organising peaceful rallies and protests which culminated in hoisting Biafran flags at different locations in the South-East.

In recent years, this practice has been reserved mainly for celebrating key dates and events or in commemoration of dead members in the region. Besides, it had also embarked on protests to protest arrests and killings of its members. In 2012, the Human Rights Writers’ Association of Nigeria condemned the alleged killing of 16 members of MASSOB by security agencies in Anambra State. In February 2013, MASSOB claimed that several corpses found floating on the Ezu River on the boundary of Enugu and Anambra states were those of its members previously arrested by the police. It is also important to mention that the group’s peaceful campaign for self-determination is supported by all treaties, including the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights which recognises the right of all peoples to self-government/determination, including the right to freely determine their political status.

This key aspect of the International Bill of Rights known as the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights is a multilateral treaty adopted by the United Nations General Assembly. The global statute commits its parties including Nigeria among 160 others and the 74 signatories to respect the civil and political rights of individuals including the right to life; freedom of religion, freedom of assembly and speech and right to due process and fair trial. But MASSOB’s peaceful agitation for self-government has been met with the brutality of the Nigerian government. Interestingly, MASSOB, like any other ethno nationalist groups, emerged because of the glaring inequalities and imbalances in Nigeria. The group, for example, is not different from the Movement for the Emancipation of Niger Delta or Odua People’s Congress and others.

These groups emerged in the last few years because the Nigerian state and its ruling elite have continued the marginalisation and structural imbalances that had led to political tension in the country. This they have done to further their own selfish ends. It is exactly for these reasons that groups such as the MEND, OPC, Boko Haram and MASSOB have proliferated in recent times. But why is this government treating MASSOB differently? Why is the government negotiating with a murderous group like Boko Haram while persecuting members of MASSOB with genuine ideological reasons to agitate? The government offers to grant amnesty to criminals that have taken thousands of lives — a group that plans to Islamise the country while genuine agitations are suppressed. Till date, MASSOB members and their families are still being harassed and killed with impunity in various parts of Eastern Nigeria. How can we have an equitable and just society when criminals masquerading as terrorists are offered amnesty by the government? Why has the government not offered to address the grievances of MASSOB? Have they once been offered the chance to meet with the government for discussions?

One intriguing development in this sad narrative is the complicity of the Igbo elite and their political class. They have turned a blind eye to the suffering of MASSOB. Ironically, Northern elders have defended the terrorist activities of the murderous Boko Haram by asking for amnesty to be granted it. South-South leaders also vigorously supported the call for amnesty for MEND in the heat of the Niger Delta struggle for resource control. That the pan-Igbo cultural group, Ohaneze Ndigbo has not spoken up against the harassment and ill-treatment of their kith and kin beats the imagination. The chieftains of the group, sadly, are contented with feeding off the crumbs from the Federal Government at the detriment of their people’s future and aspirations. It’s a shame.

I call on the Federal Government to toe the path of justice. As a matter of urgency, the trial and harassment of MASSOB members should stop. The Jonathan administration should address the structural imbalances in the country that have made ethnic militias inevitable. If it could in good conscience conceive of amnesty for a known terrorist group that has spurned the corporate existence of the country, whose activities have left blood, tears and sorrow at their trail, what is it doing with hanging a treason charge on a non-violent movement that poses no danger to lives of Nigerians? What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

by Bayo Olupohunda (bayoolupohunda@yahoo.com)

an interesting piece for any one that will find it worthwhile.

The Mobile Number Portability service guarantees freedom for telecoms subscribers.

In a bid to deepen competition and force mobile phone operators to provide better service to their customers, the Nigerian Communications Commission, NCC, on Monday launched the Nigerian Mobile Number Portability service to guarantee freedom for telecoms subscribers.

Here are 15 things you need to understand how the service can better work for you:

1. MNP allows subscribers to migrate from one mobile service provider to another without changing their mobile phone number. It empowers subscribers to terminate their relationship with their current network service provider if they are dissatisfied with the quality of services provided.

2. The service is provided by all GSM mobile operators in Nigeria- MTN, GLOBACOM, ETISALAT, and AIRTEL- free of charge. This, however, does not apply to Fixed Number Portability, FNP, or any other form of number or service portability.

3. All mobile phone users, no matter the type of your subscription or plan – pre‐paid/pay-as-you-go, post‐paid/contract, simple/single number or complex/multi number – can take advantage of the service. Individual numbers are ported separately as separate transactions using the same procedure as for a single number account except that the numbers may share the same porting request form.

4.Subscribers must visit the customer care office, retail shop or outlet of their chosen new service provider to request to port their number. Porting cannot be done via telephone calls, text messages, online or other electronic means. Deferred or delayed porting is not permitted. Only real-time porting of numbers is allowed.

5.You must present valid identification documents- passport, driver’s license or an official identity card that has your picture on it- as for proof of identity. A webcam is used to capture your image in the absence of proper identification documents.

6.Your new network needs to check for credit worthiness to ensure that the request to port a number or numbers is not malicious.

7. To port your number, you would be asked to complete a Port Request Form. You would then be asked to send a text message with the word “PORT” to a short code “3232”. Porting is completed within 48 hours.

8. A new SIM card is issued every time you port your number to a new service provider. Your old SIM card ceases to be useful once the porting process has been completed.

9. Subscribers to any network can port at any time and as many times as they like in a given year. However, porting to a third operator or back to your original operator is restricted within 90 days of a previous port. You would need to follow the same procedure each time you decide to port your number or return to your previous service provider.

10. Information on the progress of your porting request is sent via SMS. You can change your mind at any time before you receive confirmation SMS is sent. Cancellation of porting request or porting process is not acceptable once you receive confirmation.

11. Service from the old service network operator may be lost within an hour of notification by SMS of completion of porting request.

12. Your call charges may change to reflect the tariffs of the new network operator.

13. Voicemail, SMS, MMS and ancillary services would need to be reset with the new service provider. Messages sent to you prior to porting may be lost.

14. Pre‐paid subscribers cannot take outstanding credits while switching to the new service providers.

15. Post‐paid subscribers must settle outstanding bills to their previous service provider, including any early termination fees, before the porting process can commence. A final bill for usage up to the time the number is ported would be sent to the new operator.

Well said

Tell them lol

the only truth the Nigerian Police understands is money.

Your suggestion is on point, however am not always patient with relationships. Am already thinking of giving up on the whole thing. All I need is what makes me happy and am sure I will find it not long from now. If we cannot relate as friends now, there is no assurance that we will make best of couples when we eventually marry

tessybaby: An advise for you from a woman: since she thinks you are disturbing her with your calls just stay for atleast one week without calling her. When she calls talk normally with her and don't sound like you are angry with her. Girls don, t like easy going relationships, u are certainly boring her with the numerous calls, when you stop she'll start missing those same calls she is hating now. Come back and share the result.

You would'nt have said it any better

davidylan: you answered your own question. The same woman who says she is too busy to answer your calls is probably spending hrs with another man without getting tired. She is simply not interested in you. move on.

Amelian: Don't mind the harsh words, op.. There r ladies , that wishes to share their daily experience with their loved ones, and it's more caring and bonding sharing it with yur bf...I love to gist with my bf after work, but he doesn't like it... ... Sometimes, he bone my calls...then give excuses later... Even bb chats , takes him longer hrs to reply...av resolved to move on, when I eventually see my kind of guy, who likes companionship , than being in a mechanical relationship... .....be who u are.

Thanks my dear, i have been wondering what it is that caught the fancy of the ghost that kept liking all those abuses. one thing i believe is, if you truly love somebody, you will make out time for them, unless you are in between relationships for which you are already making up your mind for the other person.

There is no need living in self delusion

nat138: I am a lady not a gentleman.

Highly noted my dear

i just read through this thread and am wondering whether the women that are responding there and the ones responding here are from different planets

https://www.nairaland.com/1239520/married-women-male-friends

andromida: I don't see anything wrong with calling a loved one everyday after work. I would not call you needy or clingy there is nothing wrong with you, keep being yourself. I would prefer you talk to her though and tell her you enjoy discussing issues with her and will appreciate if when she sees your missed call she sends a text to tell you she is available or to return your call and i don't think its fair on you that she ignores you. If you call her thrice everyday and want to spend 30 mins on phone per call, well this will be killing.

Why not call her after work only and reduce the time you spend on phone.

Thanks for your concern

Duke_Nija: Op, are you in anyway related to a certain Denrele Edun

They likes of you need not write anything. you could have just read through the thread and pass on. or you just want to follow the thread and did not find any better comment to make

Gentleman thanks for your concern, one of the few things i have learnt from this forum is that some people don't need to understand your post to reply, all they need is to find the closest derogatory word to fire at you. to such people i just smile and get over them.
Meanwhile i wasn't advocating work time discussions on issues that are not work related. Personally i don't like using office time to discuss non office related issues. what i just want is after work hello hi which am asking whether it's such a clingy demand

Moreso, i don't know how these people suddenly tagged me a talkative, please that is not how i pick up my phone to call every tom, dick and harry just because i have an itching mouth.

nat138: Haba people, why are you people being so harsh on the OP. Communication is his love language and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. While other girls will kill over him because of his great communication skills, it seems his "girlfriend" whom he is conveniently calling a friend does not appreciate that very much.
OP, I know you have the need to communicate with your girlfriend every two minutes, but you must understand her kind of person (she is introverted or extroverted, what is her love language etc) as well as her work environment. I am personally against people whiling away their work time on private conversations on the phone. Discuss this issue with her and tell her how much you hurt when your communication is not reciprocated and you people should come to a level ground(compromise).

Cheers

some people here are claiming superman, anyway, to each according to his opinion. thanks all the same

ferhyntorlah: I feel you Chyseth; you aren't alone. We sometimes need someone to talk to and share our experiences.

Since she's not the communicating type, please move along. Find someone who's ever ready to hear you.

you didn't really need to comment on this thread

wonlasewonimi: Bros, try and call your utility supplier or like virgin broadband, I can bet someone one would keep you company for about 1hr before you hear an indian voice.

sauer: First, must you guys dole out bad words in the bid to motivate other? KoolJ, cOOgar, why?
Guy,
Why not just find someone more suited to your characteristics? I know a couple of ladies who can talk hours on end. They bore me all the time on the phone. I hate phone calls like damn!
Nevertheless, I wouldn't suggest all that they're passing around here. No! Instead, look and you'll find someone who will never get tired of your daily calls. Need I say the person will in fact love you more for it?
Finally, never get into a long term relationship with someone who's not your type in this area, else you ask for disaster.

so far the best advise

Anyway am ok with fact that some women responded here. That have afforded me the opportunity to actually understand the problem.
Whether am continuing with relationship or not and how I intend to go about it will depend on events of the next few days that will ensue.

Thank you for ur time
quote author=biolabee]This brings it home to you man

Women say they want to be engaged in discussions ie being carried along bla bla bla but in their heart they see such guys as a sissie

In a relationship it is expected that there should be nothing else but yarns as understanding is key here because inevitably the yarnings will reduce once you are married (familiarity) yet you're being perceived as a wuss
And even a woman feels so!

So you should read between the lines and keep your detached cool calm

I hope she does not accuse you of having another babe soon

Ish[/quote]

Ok thanks

kool J: No its not for most people. Talk to her and find out what's ok for her

kool J: No need to feel pity for yourself. If u realize what you r overdoing,it'l help you take the crucial step. Give her space. When I say get busier, its not necessarily at work. Just like u opined,distractions outside work would keep you busy enough to give her space. That's if she feels you are smolthering her. On the other hand,it could be that she's been only trudging along after you in the relationship and is now evaluating her actions. Either way,she needs space. U do too so u could move on. Afterall, life always goes on

I can understand. But let me please ask. Is once in a day call too much to ask for in a relationship

biolabee: OP, seems the lady has answered you

Tone down the calls and use SMS and bbm/whatsapp chats....

Thanks. The thread is already yielding the desired result

kool J: Are u kidding me? I've seen this time and time again. This is a sure sign of being clingy/needy. Have interacted/got quite close to a few of them that I might as well spot one from a writeup on his expectations. He ALWAYS wants her to be there for him, feels she's obligated to talk to him. Heck,he feels bad if they don't talk in a daya and u tell me he's just being old school? Lol. I don't wish u a clingy friend/mate cuz trust me,its hell when someone wants to be with/talk with u every blinking moment. It would help if he could be busier than he already is. She's prolly pissed off at him n doesn't know how to show it,thus resorting to ignoring him. Not like it really works. Lol

Thank u, but I don't really understand what you mean by being needy. Me I think the essence of a relationship is to be able to understand your partner and adjust to at least find a balance in the relationship. I don't really need to be more busy than am already are. I think what I need is a bit more distraction outside the work place. I felt pity for myself after reading through your comment.it is well