Dopkeena:
I'll like to smash all of them

Imagine what a lazy youth is saying

Jephyard:
At the OP, I must commend you for standing up for your family even when your dad and mom are not doing enough. And by the way you are not weak, this is a family matter and must be handle carefully irrespective of how some of us might see it here.

In all these never disrespect your dad. Carry your dad along since he wants to recoperate him. All of you should sit round even with your cousin and cousin mom, everyone should agreed, he will be sent to rehab soon. Every culture has rehab homes for people like him. It there in your community or another or government rehab centers. That you all love him and cant continue to lives with you guys cos of his behavioral problems if he refused force him to do so or report to the community head and the clerics.

Am not going to fault any member of your family for not being firm as some of us wanted here. They all grew up in different times where family is everything. You mom is right and same as your dad for his actions. And you are also right but you have to take everyone view, culture, belief and power into account before you are seen as being disrespectful. Pray to Allah to give you wisdom to swim through this storm. Let me guess this is first your confrontation with family problem, if you are successful in this ordeal you will be respected by all and be look up to. Goodluck

Thank you for your advice. And yes, this is my first involvement in family issues. Also, this is the first time I'm sending a message like this to my dad

TiffanyJ:
This is very heartbreaking. I am a Northerner so I understand what your mother is going through. She is torn between protecting the reputation of her daughters and fighting the devil who is out to destroy their innocence.
Op, please you have to man up. First thing, please repair the doorknob tomorrow morning. Forget about shame and give your sisters sex education. That boy must leave your house o.
If any of your sis gets pregnant for him, will your parents stand the shame? I will protect my children no matter the consequences or what society says or do. I'm sorry to say but your father has failed in his responsibility. He decided to chose his nephew over his daughters' happiness and future. Please, don't leave for nysc without solving this issue. Protect your sisters. Educate your sisters. Your cousin must leave your father's house before he destroys your family

Please can you send me message using this email instead? : comradepreneur@gmail.com.

Also, I just created a new thread here: https://www.nairaland.com/7422349/update-how-reduce-hatred-cousin#118210379

Thank you all for your advice, I took an action and created a new thread here:

https://www.nairaland.com/7422349/update-how-reduce-hatred-cousin#118210379

I

Read Previous thread: https://www.nairaland.com/7420371/how-reduce-hatred-cousin-brother

This is a follow up thread concerning the action I took after reading the comments.

I know I've failed as an older brother, to protect my siblings from their cousin. But I want to make amendments.

As such, the first action I took was to send my dad a text message, voicing out my displeasure on how he has been handling the issue regarding the harassment on my siblings.

Salam alaikum, dad.

Even though I am pending you this message in fear of your response, I have decided to do it regardless.

It's about the suppressed emotions I have concerning my cousin.

I do not like how you've been handling my siblings sexual harassment.

If there's a word which could be more quantified than disappointment, I'll have used it.

Yes, I'm highly disappointed on how you've been handling the situations.

If I were to be a dad and someone sexually harassed one of my daughters, God knows I'll have pummeled such beast and have his face disfigured for life before sending such bastard to jail.

And so, I ask, what is my cousin still doing in our house?

Even though I voiced out my displeasure to my mom on how she also has been handling the situation so far, she gave me reason her reason, saying she wants to save her marriage!

That's how afraid she is! Imagine a mother, having to go through the pains of living together and watching someone who has been sexually her own daughters, and she can't take an action because she feared that her marriage will crash!
That's how much she loves her marriage and family!

And I ask again, what is the slowpoke who has been sexually harassing your daughters still doing in your house?

Did my mom told you about Nimat, sometimes complaining about having slight pains in her groin area? And this happens mostly when my cousin is tasked with taking her to bed! Nimat is only 9year old for goodness sake!!!.

what does he find appealing in her body? she hasn't even started showing any signs of maturity!

Did she also told you about what salamatu told her? About catching my cousin while trying to lift up her skirt?

And why do you think she has been silent all this? Because she wants to save her marriage!!!

Of what use is my cousin in our home? He refuses to go learn tailoring, goes to Islamic school whenever he wants!

Or would you choose the washing of your bike over your daughters? Since that is obviously what he has been doing for you!

And I ask again, of what use is he in the family?

My mom reported him to his mom, and the best thing she could said was that they should forgive him! She didn't even call the his son, in order to punish him!!!

For a mom, who cared about her son, she indeed really handled the situation well!!!

I understand that my cousin will have never came to stay with us if he hadn't lost his dad, but what happened to his step dad? What happened to their own home? It's not as if he doesn't have were to live?

Even if he doesn't have were to live, what happened to staying with his elder brothers?

If he had been a good and friendly person to his elder brothers, do you think the brothers wouldn't cater for him despite the hate they have for his mom?

Why have you decided that you must train him despite what he's done and had been doing?

you think he could change? for someone who has been caught numerous times?

Is he more important than your daughters?

would you choose the relationship with your younger sister, over seeing your daughters get sexually abused by her son? haven't you done enough for her son already? do you think she wouldn't kick me out of her house if I were to sexually harassed one of her daughters?

The last time he was caught, Zainab only told you because she believed as a father, you will protect and safeguard her from harm! and you did nothing!.

You have been fulfilling your duties as a father which includes Clothing, education wise, food and shelter which I've always admired and respected you do that.

But one of the most important duties of a father, is to protect his family and keep them out of harms way at all cost, which you are about to fail at.

I wake up and go to sleep everyday, while cussing at myself for the coward and sissy I have become, because I feared what you might do to me, if I were to harm him!

Do you know how hurtful it is, waking up with the realization of living with a sexual predator in your room?

Everyday, I Wake up feeling like a complete failure (obviously of which I am) of a brother who can't even protect his younger siblings.

My hatred has been brewing for a long time now, and I feared that you may lose two sons.

Because I may eventually murder him when I finally snapped and I will happily go to jail for that.

Because I know that I'll be doing my lovely sisters a huge favor of getting rid of their predator!

Right now, I don't even care that you may disown me after reading this lengthy message.

I just had to bare out my thoughts to you so that I can finally be free if it.

One day, when you receive a call at your home about murder, please don't act surprised, just know that I your son, who was a coward, did it.

I still had to write you this message knowing that you'll hate me for it. but I had already made up my mind irregardless of what you will do.

Thank you for taking your time to read my outburst.

And below, is his reply to the message, and my subsequent reply to him.

Apparently, the he took in the boy, so as to rehabilitate him. Meaning, the boy may have been previously doing this to his own sisters or may have attempted to do it to his sisters.

Did I also mention that he's a chronic lier? He lies even if caught while doing something he's accused of.

At this point, the only thing I could help my sisters with is to repair their door lock first thing in the morning.

I also woke up my cousin and sternly warning him of staying away from my sisters even in the daytime.

I also, intend to tell my Mallam, our Islamic cleric since my mom respects him a lot. And just maybe, he could talk some sense into her and my dad.

Thank you all for your advice. Your advices, has really helped me in order to become a better person than I was.

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Good evening everyone.

Even though I had vowed to myself never to bring family issues to this forum, I just have to vent this out.

I am 23, a male from the North. I come from a family of 6, in which I'm the eldest of my siblings (all my younger siblings are girls).

In 2019, my cousin brother, who is way younger than me (he was 14) came to start living with us just a year after his dad died.

Prior to his dad's death, we never spoke to each other whenever I visited his mom (my paternal aunt).

His dad was someone who was quite doing well for himself before death took him away from us (he was working with NNPC).

After his death, his family were divided (he had three wives in which 2 had died earlier. My aunt was the second wife).

His children from his first wife lay claims that my aunt killed Thier mom (who had died way before 2004), and even the third wife (who died in 2018).

Even though his wealth was shared according to Islamic rites, they were still not contented even though they had the lion share.

Well, just months after my uncle's death, my aunt decided to get married! (Just imagine someone being accused of killing her husband and her co-wives fa).

Even though my dad (her elder brother) was against the decision, she even went as far as went to her mom in the village and was crying when her mom rebuked her for her intending action.

At the end, she got her way, and remarried to a police officer.

The worst part is, she is still living in her former husband's house, while she visits her new husband in his house (they are very close to each other. Much like she got married to her neighbor! Since his house is just a stone throw from hers).

Well, to cut the story short, she has 3 kids (all male) for her deceased husband, the eldest being 14. The eldest son was sent to come live with us since their rooms have been given out to their elder brothers as part of their own inheritance (her kids only inherited money and the man had over 4 properties in strategic locations).