As the title says, seeking advice/comments on which job to decide on.

I'm based in Canada, but have recently got two offers from a US company and a Japanese company. I'm a little undecided on which to choose, so I've decided to put it out there to get comments from some of you. I have an idea of which I'll go for, but it will help nevertheless to get comments from some knowledgeable folks here.

Job 1 is based in Canada, though working for a US company. Salary is in USD and is $125k. See attachment below. There is an additional sign-on bonus of $5k, stock options worth about $20k, I think. However, I have to go to the office at least twice a week. The turn-off here is that the role isn't exactly what I wanted. It is a more junior role to what I do already, and it will take me at least a year to get to the senior role which is what I applied for. They offered the junior role and said they couldn't do any better, given the circumstances. Vacation days is 15 days per annum

Job 2 is based in Japan and the salary is in yen. Equivalent of about $135k. There is a pip of 0-20% depending on performance and additional discounted stock purchase worth about $5k. No options or additional stocks. It is remote, but I have physically to be in Yokohama because of data regulations. It is the exact senior role I want, but they make no promises of future promotions, though it is logical to expect that it will happen. Flights to and from Japan is fully covered by the company, including during vacations. Vacation days is 25 days per annum. I am a Canadian citizen already, so traveling out of Canada is not a problem.

All salaries are gross. Any helpful advice from people will be well-appreciated. I can share more information if it is useful. Thank you, guys.

Before I left Canada for Nigeria in 2020, I had heard severally that it was very lonely there for Nigerian immigrants. I didn't quite understand what people meant exactly when they said this. However, over time I now have a very good understanding of this particular challenge with migration. Here are some of the things I've learnt on the way. But first, a little background about me.

I'm an introvert and I like my introversion. It gives me a lot of time to think and to be in my own space which I enjoy a lot. I read, write and love to watch documentaries. Those are the three most important things to me in life. When I lived in Nigeria, I lived a mostly secluded life that didn't have a lot of people in it. Regardless, it wasn't boring to me. I went out when I wanted to and took my time for my own activities.

Since being in Canada, my observations have been that it is a lot lonelier here. The reasons are very obvious: there are not a lot of people around me from a culture I'm familiar with (Nigeria), so it's definitely a lot more difficult to interact with others. That's one key point. Another is that I don't really have to go out to purchase things (even groceries), compared to when I was in Nigeria. I can simply order everything I need while sitting in the comfort of my home. Hence, the temptation is to go this way. In addition, I don't have family around, so I'm mostly by myself. And finally, the few friends I have are often busy, so there's hardly time to get together.

That's about it. I think these are some of the challenges Nigerian immigrants face. But the real question is, do I feel lonely?

The honest answer to that is a No. I find that my life is exactly the same way I lived it in Nigeria, only a lot more convenient and comfortable. I can't trade this for anything. In addition, as an introvert who likes to be by herself anyways, it's just a lot more enjoyable.

Nevertheless, there are steps I'm planning to take to change a few things. I am now taking more opportunities to actually go out and buy things even if I don't have to, e.g groceries, clothes, etc. Secondly, I say hello first to strangers and neighbours and get to ask them a few questions. This I wouldn't have done on the first place. Finally, I downloaded a social media application called clubhouse and have been making new friends in my area using this. As a cautious person, I'm taking baby steps here and not jumping straight into friendships I may not like.

Overall, what do I think of being in Canada as an introvert? I enjoy it. My life and choices are a lot better and I find that I have the time to do much more than I was doing back in Nigeria, not hampered by lack of power or resources.

My advice to others is to gauge their expectations carefully as they come to Canada with or without family. It can be lonely here, but that's not because Canada itself is lonely. It's just because you need to dig deep and find yourself in a new country where family is absent and culture is unfamiliar.

oh my God, how am I getting a lot of emails?

I knew him before leaving the country. He was in Nigeria and was doing quite okay, even though I was earning more than him.

We separated for a while since I wanted to focus a little on my new life. But recently, we connected again. I'm just realizing I still have something for him in spite of the time and distance. But I'm really confused about starting anything because it will mean that I have to bring him over.

What are the chances he won't take advantage of me?

Olarewajub:


Introverts need no flogging. If anybody needs flogging, it is people who mistake introversion for mental illness.

You are really so right. I always feel sad when I see introverts feel bad about themselves and wish that they were extroverts or more extroverted. While that in itself is nothing bad, having ill feelings towards oneself is definitely horrible. As an introvert, I see no reason I should change my personality. I love myself and I feel good about myself. I tell people that I am never alone. There are a million and one thoughts running through my head at every single instance, it is as if I have company every time. No complaints.

Mcslize:


Thanks to the surrogate mother no doubt, but she was paid . She only carried the babies for 9 months. The eggs were op's eggs fertilized by op husband's sperm. So the only role the surrogate mother played was helping them to carry the babies for 9 months as op womb couldn't expand enough to carry the babies.

Genetically, the babies will look like op and her husband, DNA wise.

I believe surrogate mother was paid handsomely. So no special thanks to that. It is trade by barter.

Haba! It's still special thanks to her. Even though she was paid handsomely, do you think the money outweighs the physical and mental pain she went through. I don't think you should trivialize her efforts. Yes, of course, it's OP's eggs and that's all good.

RipVanWink:

poor erection and premature ejaculation go hand in hand. over exposure to porn and masturbation follow dey cause this isse sometimes

As much as I don't like porn, this is ignorant information at its best. I think you need to reeducate yourself on the subject
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/all-about-sex/201908/does-pornography-cause-erectile-dysfunction
https://www.vice.com/en_nz/article/mgy9pp/a-few-hard-truths-about-porn-and-erectile-dysfunction

Thanks first to science and then to the surrogate mother.

sanesta:
Sounds sensible unlike others.

guys are tired of broke girls and according to the op, the said guy is nice and not cheating. perhaps, "she's rich and has a good job" could be one of his criteria of a good spouse.

Now, the big question is: Is he also a rich guy ??

He is average. But he is a decent guy.

Ikjosh04:


From my angle, i feel there are many way to see his response and I've read through your replies here. i believe since you said he is a decent guy and he is not demanding and from what you said both of you contribute at least 60:40 which i feel is normal since you said yoy earn 6× more than him.
My question to you now is, do you know this his friend in person and know his character. There are many reasons why a guy will give that type of reply, maybe his friends are mocking him and reducing his personality or maybe before this your bf met you his a play boy and ge has decided to stick(love) with you which is not bad or maybe this friend likes you or maybe your bf his just trying to let his friend know he can no longer ne a play boy or maybe...
My dear there are many maybe scenarios(you can look at the reply from many angle.
Please read and digest affable4 reply to you.

Thanks. Honestly, it's hard to tell. He was not a playboy before he met me. I don't know that his friend personally, though he has talked about him a few times. It's been a source of worry to me in some way since I saw that message. And looking back it seems justified, at least from some of things I have remembered him saying. I didn't want to raise the issue when I found out. Now am reconsidering.

affable4:
Love alone does not sustain a relationship, especially marriage.

That may not be the only reason for not moving away from you, but a good one to stay with you and wife you.
Gone are the days when men would want to marry someone that doesn't have the intention of bringing nothing to the table. One should have a partner to fall on when things go south.

I have being married for 5years now. Believe me, the context in which he replied doesn't mean he is using you. It 90% means he is stuck with you. Is he jobless? Does he depend on you for cash? This info would have helped judge the case better.

But for me, I think he meant to say he has found a partner, he is stuck. I guess he should have used the word 'industrious', you wouldn't be feeling this way. But they are all one and same thing.

No, he doesn't collect anything from me. We both give to each other. I think I give only slightly more than he does. He is a lawyer, and his pay is not that great. My pay is about 6x his own, and he knows.

KanwuliaExtra:


He might not be referring to you.
Simply show him the text and let him explain.

Simple.

Don’t waste time o. Strike when the iron is HOT!

The context shows he was. I think he was.
Am seriously considering confronting him, but am doubtful he could spin it.

He is quite a decent person. I don't think he cheats.
But one time, he was sleeping and I went through his phone (he accidentally left it open).
Doesn't look like he's talking actively to any other girl. I don't think so. But in one of his chats with a male friend who asked why he couldn't leave his current relationship (don't know why that friend asked), he said, "she is rich and has a good job".
What do I do?

I suggest you don't tell her the reason you are leaving her. It's going to kill her self-esteem. Be careful.

buddie:
my advise is touch down in Canada while on your annual vacation, sort out your paper works and return to Nigeria. That guarantees you dual citizenship. Till you fully set to relocate please stay back here and continue to earn abeg

I don't get citizenship after sorting the paper work. I only get permanent residency. And I have only a limited number of years before I have to go back or I will lose the papers. If I still don't get a job over there before then, it'll just be the same thing.

JARUSHUB:


Your case is not different, many well-paid/middle class Nigerians are relocating to Canada, and they are married.

However, you are not "many well-paid Nigerians", and as such questions - pertinent - needs to be asked. Why Canada? What do you consider a "comfortable life"? Do you believe with your resources, you can replicate the Canadian life in Nigeria (they are people who believe such)?

At the bolded: Then you might not need relocate to Canada permanently, at least not now. How about you visit there as a tourist and stay for a while before deciding to relocate? However, if you desire to relocate to Canada, it is important you get a job or be assured of one by circa 90%. Most of the persons within your earning bracket ensure jobs are on standby before relocating.

Finally, it is your prerogative, but important yet logical questions need to be asked.

All the best in your decision making.

Thanks for your kind advice. Honestly, I went through the migration process merely out of curiosity and no more. Of course I know a life in Canada is better than one in Nigeria, if I have the same job. Maybe that's what I wanted. Now that I have it, I feel like going through with it. Just not sure how to. I'll follow your advice and visit as a tourist. I'll also see if I can apply for a few jobs while there on the ground. Thanks once again.