coogar:


his dreams got fulfilled & that's exactly the point. he's probably one of those university boys who never had the opportunity of sowing their wild oats as a youth.....

just because he lacked the opportunity does not mean he didn't nurse the ambition. adulthood or maturity has nothing to do with it. he would never find peace until he fulfils his dreams.

ifyalways:
@Curtains
Once more, sorry for your pains.

I'm happy you've also forgiven him or tried to however, I personally don't think YOU need a counsellor. What for? He cheated, you deal with the pain and now guilt?!
Lady please!!!! If anyone needs a counsellor it's him, your hubby.

If there's genuine repentance from him then forgive him truly and give him a second chance. The betrayal and pain won't go away overnight but it will with time.

Please cheer up and be happy. Life will go on just fine for your hubby and everyone else if you allow this to kill you,heavens forbid.

raayah:


Oga wasn't thinking of the lovely kids when he was getting his prick wet. Lol!
She will get the kids for sure because African men love to absolve themselves from parental responsibilities.
Rarely will you meet a single dad.

like I always say to people like OP, sit down and strategize long term. Plan and pick the best for you. A depressed, sick and heartbroken mother is not also good for the kids.

Even if you forgive him, it won't change anything. If you plan to keep this marriage. You have to plan for the future.Op, get a job or start saving from what hubby is giving you. Learn a skill. Visit a lawyer that deals in divorce and child support. Know what you are entitled to. Make sure that if anything happens, you and your kids are secure financially.Keep friends for emergencies.

what happens when hubby decides to leave you for the other woman? Plan, think, strategize.

fem29:


I'm so sorry to that you are going through this. I can't believe you slept with him 2 days after you found out. How? If it were me it would feel like having sex with a beast.

You are not even giving him any consequences for his actions. He will surely continue. He knows you will never leave in a million years.

GodnGold:
My dear,what you need is time.
TIME and this will be like "There was a time..."
I don't want to go into personal experiences but all I can say for now is get your shock absorber and heal.
You hear me curtains...HEAL!HEAL!!,HEAL!!!
If you break down,you have yourself to blame.
lf you say you are a christain,find consolation in the book of psalms.
I wish i can buy you a bucket of ice cream...you like (smile)
And 1 million bars of chocolate...yeahhhhh!!!
Give it time dear,u hear?
I am advocating for the kids not Oga(FDR)

GodnGold:
My dear,what you need is time.
TIME and this will be like "There was a time..."
I don't want to go into personal experiences but all I can say for now is get your shock absorber and heal.
You hear me curtains...HEAL!HEAL!!,HEAL!!!
If you break down,you have yourself to blame.
lf you say you are a christain,find consolation in the book of psalms.
I wish i can buy you a bucket of ice cream...you like (smile)
And 1 million bars of chocolate...yeahhhhh!!!
Give it time dear,u hear?
I am advocating for the kids not Oga(FDR)

5minsmadness:


Mother of the Redeemer catholic church, at airport junction. Any priest will do but you can ask for the youth priest there.

5minsmadness:


@bolded hmmmm someone reaping the benefits...

Pls dear don't commit suicide. Over what? Abi u no be confam wafi babe? Na dis kain tin wan make u menstruate? Kpatakpata u leave the house for a while to clear your head. Men are silly like this sometimes. Take it easy, ok?

All the good psychologists I know have left warri else I would have referred u to the psychiatrist at Central warri. Very good relationship counselor. Also Dr Slater would have helped too but he has left the place.

Dunno if u r interested in seeing a priest.

GodnGold:
OP, just thread carefully.
At first divorce will be the best thing to do,at first.
But once you are divorced,reality sets in.
It hits u on d face like harmattan wind from nsukka.
Have u thought of how to take care of the kids?
who gets custody?
where do u go from here?
And don't say ur parents,because they will get tired of having you around in a month.
What of the emotional trauma this will cause your kids?
If he begged you,let it go.
Is not gonna be easy honey,but with time.
Honestly,trusting will be hard.
The love dimnishes.
You are sick to your stomach when you want to have sex with him.
The thoughts...oh the thoughts.
For the sake of our lovely kids...Please. Please.
And pretty please.

tearoses:
I dont beleive the possesed story
He was caught
Most people know that porn is just acting . . .he should know too.

The truth is that he is having an affair or at the very least inappropriate relationships with other women and he needs to come clean andhe needs to be honest with you so that you can both work through this.
Who are these women? are they workmates or just random women he met online/offline?

There are a lot of things going around these days, where people, thanks to social media are into all sorts of unheard of things. Marriages are under threat now than ever before.

please dear, its easy to say but please try and pull yourself together. I beleive you have kids. An accident may end up killing or maiming you. This is the time to find strenght from wherever you can. Please. Dont drive if you are not up to it.

It will be resolved and even though right Now there may seem like no light at the end of the tunnnel, but please be positive. You will overcome.

As regards hubby, he needs to realise that you will not accept this from him and you both need to discuss what happened indepth and how he will avoid this from ever happening again.

moski5:
The only advice i'd love to give you is to pray n fight 4 your marriage and family

Something has been on my mind for a while my friend n I talk about it often n my pastor mentioned it recently Its d devils attack on families
He wants to divide d home so the kids will grow up without proper parenting For homes wit both parents he keeps them both busy

NB men have this inbuilt desire for variety n coupled with porn is a recipe for disaster You both should come together n find a solution
Finally if Christ is not the Head and Centre n Foundation of your home .... hmmm You both make HIM so
Wish you the best

babyosisi:


I will advise you to accept what seems to me like a sincere heartfelt apology from him.
Don't be too hard on yourself thinking you did or didn't do something to bring this on
You did nothing,it wasn't your fault
It was his choice and his alone to send those indecent texts so don't beat yourself up and see this as a failure on your part as a wife,it isn't.
A lot of people have fantasies in their heads but for the most part they remain in their heads
That he talked about *** with the girl didn't necessarily mean he was going to go through with it
It is wrong
There are no ifs and buts ,going to that extent is unwholesome and wrong
It went too far

But please Forgive him
What I wouldn't want you to do is to get possessive and begin monitoring him day and night
It makes you look insecure
Forgive him if you are sure his apology is sincere
Sit with him and let him know how much that conversation hurt you and ask how he would feel if you had similar talks with another man.
A small jar of milk has spilled yes but the jar is still intact
Remorse is a good thing in marriage
When a man or woman errs and is remorseful,it gives you something you can work with and to err is human.
Forgive ,don't tell his friends,your family or his family about this and shame him,it won't produce anything positive
Let this be between you and him and the promise he makes you that there won't be a repeat
I wish you all the best

KashyBaby:


If u have a great sex life, then how come this issue arises?Anyway, He is ur husband for sure he will listen to u if u will discuss it with him..goood luck.

mistypiper:
I don't have enough details to judge this issue but one thing I want you to remember is that your life is the most valuable thing you have right now.

Please don't hurt yourself over the issue, I don't know how long you've been with him or how he's been treating you before now. Ill advise you to calm down and communicate with him at least he is your hubby. Under no circumstances he's not supposed to cheat on you.

Don't let anything bad happen to you my sister. You have people that loves and care about you.

Biko

KashyBaby:
I never heard such thing tat someone can be possessed of a pornography...
Ur husband may have a fetish/desired to try things other than wat u usually do on bed...if ur not open to do this thing, then u explain it to him tat u cant do it...for sure he will understand & dnt think so much negative coz it will juz ruin u.