My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e - Family (6)

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My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e - Family (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e (15948 Views)

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Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by curtains: 10:51pm On Nov 10, 2015

GodnGold:
My dear,what you need is time.
TIME and this will be like "There was a time..."
I don't want to go into personal experiences but all I can say for now is get your shock absorber and heal.
You hear me curtains...HEAL!HEAL!!,HEAL!!!
If you break down,you have yourself to blame.
lf you say you are a christain,find consolation in the book of psalms.
I wish i can buy you a bucket of ice cream...you like (smile)
And 1 million bars of chocolate...yeahhhhh!!!
Give it time dear,u hear?
I am advocating for the kids not Oga(FDR)

Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by curtains: 10:55pm On Nov 10, 2015

fem29:

I'm so sorry to that you are going through this. I can't believe you slept with him 2 days after you found out. How? If it were me it would feel like having sex with a beast.

You are not even giving him any consequences for his actions. He will surely continue. He knows you will never leave in a million years.

it was before pls I found out on sat night

Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by curtains: 11:00pm On Nov 10, 2015

raayah:

Oga wasn't thinking of the lovely kids when he was getting his prick wet. Lol!
She will get the kids for sure because African men love to absolve themselves from parental responsibilities.
Rarely will you meet a single dad.

like I always say to people like OP, sit down and strategize long term. Plan and pick the best for you. A depressed, sick and heartbroken mother is not also good for the kids.

Even if you forgive him, it won't change anything. If you plan to keep this marriage. You have to plan for the future.Op, get a job or start saving from what hubby is giving you. Learn a skill. Visit a lawyer that deals in divorce and child support. Know what you are entitled to. Make sure that if anything happens, you and your kids are secure financially.Keep friends for emergencies.

what happens when hubby decides to leave you for the other woman? Plan, think, strategize.

thank u

Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by curtains: 11:02pm On Nov 10, 2015

ifyalways:
@Curtains
Once more, sorry for your pains.

I'm happy you've also forgiven him or tried to however, I personally don't think YOU need a counsellor. What for? He cheated, you deal with the pain and now guilt?!
Lady please!!!! If anyone needs a counsellor it's him, your hubby.

If there's genuine repentance from him then forgive him truly and give him a second chance. The betrayal and pain won't go away overnight but it will with time.

Please cheer up and be happy. Life will go on just fine for your hubby and everyone else if you allow this to kill you,heavens forbid.

thanks

Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by TV01(m): 11:08pm On Nov 10, 2015

Processor01:

No, I did not. Can we talk offline? Please can you send your addy to [size=2pt].[/size]

Seen. You can delete it now.

TV

Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by curtains: 11:12pm On Nov 10, 2015

coogar:

his dreams got fulfilled & that's exactly the point. he's probably one of those university boys who never had the opportunity of sowing their wild oats as a youth.....

just because he lacked the opportunity does not mean he didn't nurse the ambition. adulthood or maturity has nothing to do with it. he would never find peace until he fulfils his dreams.

u r absolutely correct

Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by toksbisola: 2:35am On Nov 11, 2015

@Op; Huh! What can I say; well, first of all it’s really sad that this has happened; very very sad indeed. But do you think that leaving your marital home would be the best solution especially after your husband is remorseful and begging you?

Your husband has shown remorse for his actions; and from your write-up, it doesn’t appear he’s justifying himself with the analogy of “Men are polygamous in nature therefore they will cheat”. One thing to note here is that a man cheats only because he wants to and not because he has to. There is something called SELF-CONTROL; and if you resolve in your heart that you would not cheat on your spouse no matter what; then you certainly would not and this analogy applies to both men and women.

The environment that one finds themselves in sometimes may make it hard for one to walk away; but that does not mean that one cannot avoid the temptation to cheat. It is simply a silly excuse to say I want to explore out of the marital bond as “The marriage bed should be without defilement”.

Now listen up gurl; if you kill yourself because of a philandering husband; I pity you; as I will only give your husband 3 months max; and there would be another Mrs somebody by his side. And if I may ask you this question, what makes you think that the new wife would look after your kids the way you look after them currently if you allow his philandering ways to kill you?

In all, there are only 2 options here;

1) Either you leave him and let him carry on with his philandering ways and have a less stressful life along with peace of mind or;
2) You stay with him and continue to forgive him as this may not be the last time he’ll cheat (I may be wrong and I hope I am).

The choice is totally yours; you are the one wearing the shoes and only you know how it pinches. No one else can tell you if to leave or stay.

Be careful with toiling the part of cheating with another man; as if your husband finds out you might not remain in your marital home. Statistics has shown that a wife is willing to forgive a philandering husband than it is for a husband to forgive a philandering wife.

Moving forward, I don’t know if you totally depend on him financially. If so, then that might give him the freelance to cheat as he knows you would always need money from him for your upkeep as well as for the kids. My advice to you would be to get a job/business you are involved in to garner some income for yourself and the kids. Spending all your time checking his phone, bbm n WhatsApp chat (don't get me wrong; you're entitled to check them) would not create income for you.

At this moment in time, the most important thing here are your kids; stick around to care for them whether you decide to stay with your husband or not. BE WISE AS YOU SEEK GUIDANCE ON A WAY FORWARD TO HANDLING THIS MARITAL ISSUE AT HAND.

From a medical point of view, I'll advice you to go for an STD test IMMEDIATELY and check to make sure that you are not carrying any disease(s) as HIV AND AIDS ARE REAL AND IT IS NOT WRITTEN ON ANYONE'S FOREHEAD and in some cases, it only takes once to get infected. This might probably not have been the first time your husband has engaged in the cheating act. I'll ADVICE that your husband should go for a test as well. ALL THE BEST.

PS: I read a thread on NL where a woman died of a heartbreak because her husband was a chronic philanderer and now her children are without a mother all because she was fighting hard to stop the husband from cheating on her with different women.

I just mentioned this for you to be aware that a person can indeed die from heartbreak. So please and please take good care of yourself. If not for anyone, for your kids; beware and be wise.

I rest my case

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Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by Nobody: 11:34am On Nov 11, 2015

curtains:

L
it was before pls I found out on sat night

Ahhh that explains it. I don't think anyone would be able to sleep with someone who hurt them like that so soon. I can't really tell you to go or stay since you have 3 small children.

If you do stay please make him work hard to earn your forgiveness. Forgive but don't forget. Guard your heart knowing he in all likelihood will do it again. Insist on all the std tests for both of you and if I were you, i would be wary of sleeping with him without protection from now on.

Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by Teespice(f): 12:29pm On Nov 11, 2015

the same males telling her to forgive him and stay put will be the first to kick her out of the house if the woman does as the op's husband has done.

poster, take a break and clear your head. You don't want to take a crucial decision when your emotions are spiralling.

it is well. cheers.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by Nobody: 6:09pm On Nov 11, 2015

@Curtians

How does feeling devastated help you now? Not at all!

Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by A40(m): 5:30pm On Nov 25, 2015

Daresh:

Aunty, I read your previous post and I've read this one and I'm surprised you don't see the pattern. He will do and beg and you will forgive abi? Before he was crying, now he is only begging. Believe me, he will never change. DO NOT pack your bags out of that house. Pack HIS own bags cos he is out. Get him the Bleep out of that house now because this is just the beginning. Next he'll be fvcking them in the house while you serve refreshments.

For obodo Nigeria? Make he pack comot him own house?

But Badoo girls. Chai! Too many catfishes for that place from my personal experiences. The woman has every right to be pissed

Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by CashVessel(m): 11:05am On May 02, 2016

curtains:
www.nairaland.com/2316343/marriage-depressed

The link above is about some months ago I saw his bbm n WhatsApp chat he wants to have a party with. He has finally had it last week. I found out dem the history of his browser that he has bin going to badoo. Wen I opened them, what I saw, was unthinkable.

Wen I confronted him, he confessed n is begging. He did it wit two girls from badoo

Our marriage is 5years. We r both in our early 30a's. We hv 3 children.

I have no more love for him. I need a break out of this house. I actually packed my belongings n my children to leave but on w second thought n his begging I didn't leave again.

He is an ardent reader of nairaland but hardly comments. I don't know if he want more fantasy in fact am devastated n have not stopped crying since Saturday night. I still dont want to tell my mum or friend. I need someone to talk to me pls cos am looseiing it

Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by CashVessel(m): 11:16am On May 02, 2016

curtains:
www.nairaland.com/2316343/marriage-depressed

The link above is about some months ago I saw his bbm n WhatsApp chat he wants to have a party with. He has finally had it last week. I found out dem the history of his browser that he has bin going to badoo. Wen I opened them, what I saw, was unthinkable.

Wen I confronted him, he confessed n is begging. He did it wit two girls from badoo

Our marriage is 5years. We r both in our early 30a's. We hv 3 children.

I have no more love for him. I need a break out of this house. I actually packed my belongings n my children to leave but on w second thought n his begging I didn't leave again.

He is an ardent reader of nairaland but hardly comments. I don't know if he want more fantasy in fact am devastated n have not stopped crying since Saturday night. I still dont want to tell my mum or friend. I need someone to talk to me pls cos am looseiing it

Do you guys talk about your fantasies at all? If you do, you would have been able to address this situation without this going out of hand. And if you think leaving him is the best, you must be joking. You guys should find out what you both like and do the ones you can. The ones you cannot, you can talk about how to substitute for it. If a man desires sum fin, you don't deny him that thing, giving him a small amount of that thing or a substitute will help. You also need to check yourself; when last did you make advances towards him, when did u last blow his brains out with something new? Sometimes, it's not about doing what he wants, but attempting to do it brings the much needed satisfaction.
Leaving your husband is another issue that you shouldn't consider; for his sake, yours and the children. You still need him, your children need him, and this is when he needs you the most. You can't leave him, cos he has done something wrong, especially when he didn't do it to slight you, and now that he's shown remorse. Find some place in your heart to love him again. God will help you if indeed you are willing

Re: My Husband Has Finally Fulfilled his fantasy of having a thr3esom&e by Nobody: 9:15pm On May 02, 2016

Sighs... Words cant even describe your husband

You honestly need a break from his madness.

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