₦airaland Forum

--continuation--
After he successfully forced Mr Ayo to flee, he recieved an immediate alert from his bank account even though it was still the middle of the week. He felt he was safe and as every right thinking Nigerian who has been a finance manager right from the time he/she was born decided to as a result of the goody he is recieving decided to live in affluence till he'll return to Canada to sort out his parents. You can call him whatever you like.
From recent research, it was revealed that an average Nigerian man is a manager who out of a hundred available resources will manage at least ninety eight of them while the last two would be enough for him at a particular time, but the next minute, he'll be trying to economize the use of it. Research revealed that Nigerian's manage even water which was believed to be one of the available resources in abundance to human. The stress involved to get drinkable water in some areas will make a family of six share a one litre jug of water over a very peppery meal. And while some doctors who were lucky to live in areas where water flows like honey just like the biblical Shecem, the doctors went on to tell us that at every cock crow, we should endeavour to take two cups of water before any other thing and for a family who manages a one litre jug, two cups removed from a one litre jug for one person leaves the other mmbers of the family with two and a half cups.
Sylvester found himself in the managing screen of the average Nigerian man and just like in the case of water, if one sunny afternoon, one of the water pipes created by the government some twenty years ago come back to life and water started gushing out, every right thinking family will know what to do. They store water in all manner of things because they knew any moment, the water flow could stop, therefore, Sylvester thought the cashflow would stop, he decided to spend the money and enjoy it while it last. He started off by purchasing a house inside one of his dream estates and a day later go a brand new car. Unknown to him, he was being watched and when he was living comfortably like the rich man that he was, trouble started when his employers started demanding for the commodity they are paying for 'INFORMATION.'
He tried his best not to succumb to the demands of the corporation who demanded that he returned all they had given him. He knew how impossible that is and decided to just play along with the aim of stopping them before it is too late. He made a mistake one day by giving a wrong information to the corp and as a result of that and the fact that he was their employee and still went on to attack Mr Ayo, they gave him series of punishment which he was to pick just one. In the end, he agreed that his wife be killed, afterall, there are many beautiful ladies out there, but the realisation that hit him after his wife's death was the reason why he broke down.
Even though now he had decided to play on a safe side, by providing informations to the corporation and a the same time working tirelessly with the police to make sure they stopped Khal corp. And his major concern is to kill Hakym before anybody else because he was the only one who could recognize him and to avoid stories that touch, Hakym's death is a plus to his chances of living a happy life after the end of Khal corp or the defeat of the police.
"What do you think is going on? This tunnel seems to be endless o." Ngozi asked.
Shebi na you want make we enter the tunnel, winch. He wished he had said that, but decided against it.
"Sly, are you there?" She asked stopping in her tracks.
"Of course. The tunnel, he must be mad." He replied.
Ngozi gasped.
"Sly, are you okay? I mean the tunnel and not the colonel." Ngozi said.
"Yeah, its endless, maybe we should just go back." Sylvester replied.
"We have come a long way to go back." Ngozi said.
"Rrrrrrrroooooooooaaaaaaaaarrrrrr!"
"Did you hear that?" Sylvester asked.
"Yes, what is that? A lion?" Ngozi asked.
"Am not sure."
The roar came sounding once again and this forced Ngozi to jumped on Sylvester and held him tight.
"Let's get out of here." Sylvester said at once.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

-- continuation--
He was careful to walk behind her as they entered the dark tunnel afterall. As a kid, he had always feared darkness, because from stories and things he had heard, evil is easily perpetrated in the dark. It is only in the dark that a group of angry boys would lay ambush for a girl who thwarted them in a test at school or a quiz, then molest her until she passed out, even though such cases hasn't been heard of, but evil guys tends to molest the girls who in a way or the other had angered them. It is only in the dark that most cases of armed robbery takes place and assasination is also very rampant in the dead of the night when even the police or the security agents are more like a dead wood who requires about five minutes to shake off the feeling of relax and put of the active feeling, and in most cases, those five minutes is all the criminals needed to escape.
"Are you there?" Ngozi asked.
"Yeah." He replied even though he was unsure if he spoke out because he couldn't hear himself.
His mind drifted back to the extensive mind drill he is having concerning darkness, he himself as a man has had several encounters with dangers in the dark. As a student he once had a late night run off with a very popular fraternity back then in school known as the 'Dark angels' presided over by a 'dark queen.' A group that was widely dominated by the female specie of man.
He could remember sometimes during his service year when he met a friend who was fortunate to own a television and a dvd back then and he was able to watch a couple of films on it, one of them is the 'Harry Potter' series. Even though he only saw it to the end of the third series, he could remember the very popular dark lord known as 'Voldermot' in the series. From what he saw, the dark lord was the most feared wizard whom other wizards dare not mention his name except for a few brave ones who had little or no fear for the dark lord.
"Are you still with me?" Ngozi asked.
"Of course, you know I just want you to be in front so that if things threatens to go wrong, you can quickly take cover behind me, meaning you are serving as a first hand spy.
They are now well deep into the tunnel and from the look of things, Ngozi seemed to be getting stronger as the seconds of the cloth ticked away.
Silence enveloped the whole of the tunnel as their footsteps echoed around the castle.
As they continued their silent journey, Sylvester's mind drifted to another dark night which defined his life, defined his future and to his own suprise he accepted wuthout thinking twice.
He remembered how he had met Hakym five years ago on a sunny summer afternoon in Canada, they had chatted like the next door neighbour that they were, but unknown to Sly, the meeting of their defined their future.
Sylvester who returned to Nigeria almsot five years ago met with the Ministry of defence and after a brief discussion with the minister, it was agreed that he be drafted into the FBI Nigeria and a few months later to save time, the FBI was drafted into the police force. After a promising first week of working with police, it all looked like they'll be stopping Khal corp within three days, but things doesn't turn out with our prediction. A few weeks after he started working with the police, a recieved a phone call from an annymous caller who claimed he had both his parents in hostage. Sylvester laughed it off and counted it as one of those things, ploys to make him drop the case.
He continued waxing stronger by the day and the called who claimed to be holding his parent's hostage kept disturbing him with calls which he didn't take serious. But who would take such person serious when at the end of every conversation with the man he would always put a call through to parents who reside in Canada and from their voice, it seemed like they are in no trouble neither are they being held hostage because they sounded perfectly okay, without the feeling of being under duress or being forced to sound normal.
It was only a few weeks afterwards that he recieved a picture message of his parents tied to a chair each with troubled look and bruised faces. At the same time, the anonymous caller revealed himself as Hakym, the man he had met five years ago and he stated what he wanted. First hand information as an insider with a reward of ten thousand dollars per week. He refused to play along, but his troubles began when at the end of the first week, his account was credited and the following week, he led the team that invaded Mr Ayo Okorie's residence.

--to be continued--

--continuation--
Sylvester skipped the last flight of the ladder that connects from the underground room into the underground and jumped several feets below the earth. The sight that greeted him scared him off, but he knew had to be strong, if he wants to play a convincing role until the police lost out with no one to suspect.
Ngozi as if seeing things from Sylvester's persepective also skipped the last flight of the ladder and landed into the underground with her flashlight in her mouth. She would have being a lot more happy if she had landed on solid floor or rock but what she landed on was neither a rock nor the floor. It was quite soft and mobile, a bony structure.
"Jeeeeeeeesus!" She screamed as she fell down flat on her face her breathing inconsistent and her lung having difficulty in taking the considerable amount of oxygen needed to respirate.
She had landed on the chest of a dead man who was dressed in the army uniform, the leafy-green khaki.
"Are you okay?" Sylvester asked with concern.
Ngozi did not budge and at the same time refused to stand up or reply Sylvester's question.
After a few minutes of stealing glances at the dead body, she stood as fast as she could when she realised that she was at arms length with the dead body. And the thought of it alone made her heart race with great abandon.
"Lets get out of here." She sobbed into Sylvester's broad shoulder.
Sylvester held her firmly and they went deeper into the underground, the first time that Ngozi would be entering the underground and Sylvester's second attempt.
"So, how far are we?" Ngozi asked judging by his experience.
"I can't really tell you that specifically, but I am sure we are close by, with the bodies we have seen on the way.
And when Ngozi was getting impatient and tired of the journey, they came to a spot where the underground was divided into two equal tunnels. The tunnel on the left beared total darkness that even with the help of their flashlights, they could only see the rocky walls of the tunnel and nothing else, while the other tunnel on the right was dark like the first, but once could stil make out a few things that lies ahead.
"Lets go in there." Ngozi said pointing her flashlight to the less darkened tunnel and without hesitation, Sylvester followed her in silence, which was later broken by him as he recounted his last visit into the tunnel was, how he felt the strange feeling at the entrance into the two tunnels and had to leave only to meet his dead wife at home. Ngozi was half listening and half looking at the empty cells and a few gunmen who were lying dead on the floor.
"What else?" Ngozi asked as they came to a dead end.
"I don't know." Sylvester replied cluelessly as he flashed his light at the rocky wall opposite them with the hope of an imaginary door appearing.
"Don't you think we should use the second tunnel?" Ngozi asked.
"The dark tunnel?" Sylvester asked alarmed.
"Yes. Anything wrong?"
"Not at all. Its just that the only officer who went into the tunnel never came back. Till now, Leiutenant James is yet to return from his journey into the tunnel. If he is alive, we don't know. I don't think I will enter the tunnel with you." Sylvester replied.
"The fear of the unknown is one of the reasons why people fail in their endeavours. The fact that James didn't return doesn't mean we won't. Moreso, James might have lost his way and as a result killed by the enemies. We are two and we can watch each other's back." Ngozi explained.
Sylvester tried to keep a straight face, he didn't want to lookk like a weakling even though he knew he was one that could easily be manipulated and influenced to switch alleigiance. But he had to show Ngozi that he was not just and ordinary FBI agent whose brain is filled with detective and investigative techniques, he wanted to show her that he had the balls to work in the America's CIA or DOD.
"Lets go in then." He blurted out.

--to be continued--

Its unlikely that I will update tonight, am damn tired.
Adewealth027, I appreciate your concern.

toykathy:
d9ty7- durodola
I don try nau......

Good girl. loooool

marioking:
Counter thread of tosyn2much in romance section

D9ty7 - dayo I guess
Just for fun and you can add yours

Well, you are on the wrong side. It's simply Durodola-90-7.

I thank God there is no problem, I have just being hooled up doing some certain things. Am back now tho!
Lilyomi, I really appreciate your concern and everyone else who did show their concern.

Harjibola10, Thronekid and others, please endeavour to check rule number 'one' of Nairaland.
It says and I quote;
1. Please post on topics always. Do not derail or tribalize threads.

curvyschlong:
[/quote][quote author=Teebashy post=29689893]

Please, as you vote for the best newcomer, remember to vote for your top 3 writers of the month in the pattern below.
1. BEST NEWCOMER
XXXXXXXX
2. BEST WRITER OF THE MONTH
i. XXXXXXXX
ii. XXXXXXXX
iii. XXXXXXX
NB: To make the counting of votes easier for the organisers, lets cast our votes at once and try as much as possible not to modify our votes in a later date, it might not count.

--continuation--
Sylvester descended the flight of stairs into the underground room with Ngozi trottling behind him.
"Be careful with the last step dear, its slippery." Sylvester warned.
"Okay."
A minute later, the two officers are still standing before the keyboard attached to the wall without anyone making a move.
"Unlock it now." Ngozi drawled.
"Not today. I can't risk it." He replied.
Sylvester was wary of what could happen if he made the move to provide the passcode, he remembered the first and the last time he tried, it led to the death of a fine and handsome youngman, a computer analyst who had a bright future of working with the CIA in the near future or the MOUSSAD.
Ngozi bravely stepped a bit forward and started fumbling with the keyboard like she knew what she was doing. She was randomly pressing the buttons and the percentage unlock was increasing as she did this, but she wasn't concentrating of the screen, as the percentage increases by five percents when she press a random button, so also it reduces by 5% when she presses another random button. Sylvester watching as she was progressing and retrogressing.
"Wait! Wait!." He screamed at her.
"What?" She asked angrily.
"You already reached 65% but you are back to zero percent simply because you weren't concentrating on whatever you are doing."
"Oh! So what do you suggest we do?" She asked.
"Can you still remember the keys you pressed?" He asked.
"How possible is that? In the last three minutes, I pressed the keys in not less than fifty times, how on earth do you expect me to know the right keys?" She asked.
"You know what? Try the first set of numbers that comes to you mind and lets see what we have." Sylvester said.
Ngozi was not convinced of the strategy but she still had to try anyways since she had no better plan.
"5-2-4-7." were the first set of numbers that came to her mind and she punched the corresponding keys on the keyboard. Suprisingly the percentage unlock increased to 55%.
Sylvester was not only bewildered, he was suprised at the same time.
"Four keys, 55%? That's gross!" He exclaimed while Ngozi smiled at her success.
"What next?" She asked.
This is the tricky aspect of it, one right key 65% which is all that is needed to unlock the underground or one wrong key and it returns to zero percent which also implies that, the four keys which skyrocketted the percentage to sixt-five won't do the same if used for a second time. Random keys does the trick from what he has seen so far.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blue hilux van was being loaded with trunks and bags as supervised by Kelvin.
"Khan, how far have you gone?" Kelvin asked a whiteman, a German who was checking each trunk and its content after which he'll write it down.
"We are olmost done." He replied in his not so clear english.
"How many trunks do you have there and what are the contents?" Kelvin asked.
"About fi-ty five. Twenty-five arms trunk and fi-teen bombs and explosives. Clothes and other things are in the rest." Khan replied.
Kelvin wanted to laugh, especially at the way he call 'fifty' but he managed to stiffle it and and a smiled escaped his lips.
"What time do you intend leaving?"
"10pm, we'll be camping in Ghana for a day or two after which we'll take off by air to Freetown." Khan explained.
"Are you taking Mike... Sorry, Clement to Hezboellah?" Kelvin asked.
Khan gave him a suspicious look, but he couldn't question his boss, and not just any boss, Danger-kelv.
"Yeah. Maleek insisted even though we all voted for Al Queda, Maleek insisted he wanted Hezboellah." Khan replied.
"Don't be suprised, Al Queda are traitors. They betrayed Maleek's trust last year when one of our men here, Al Bashir was sent to learn how to make explosives on a four months course. At the end of the four years, Al Queda refused to release Bashir and they went on to make him carry a bomb into an aeroplane which had the Isreali Prime minister and America's Vice President." Kelvin explained.
"I heard 'bout it. Sucide bomb right?" Khan said.
"Yeah. So Maleek want to create close ties with Hezboellah to hit back at Al Queda." Kelvin explained.
They continued chatting for the next few minutes before Kelvin announced his departure.
"See you around soon." He said patting him on the back before strolling back into the building.

--to be continued--

Princesa, is this the voting pattern?
BEST NEWCOMER:
thronekid.
BEST WRITER OF THE MONTH:
1. Tiffanyj
2. Candy
3. Kingzpen.

Good development princesa. And every month, I will personally see to the publicity of this award. Am still waiting for a day when a writer will amass 200+ votes. We can do it. I will be the publicity manager.
So, voting don start?

Benjaminbest:
9ice one....but what i dont understand are dose guesses if i may ask....do u guys want to force words on him and told him what to write? If u tink writing is easy go pick up a pen and start

Bro chill na. I actually asked them to guess who the mole is. Its not like their guesses will change the story line or anything.

Trypa:
Am present

I think you shouldn't have quoted the whole post. To avoid unecessary mentions.

Na inside pluto this school dey ni? Which school dey punish students because they are not with a wristwatch? Na by force to tie something around your wrist?
Teachers punish students more for socks, shoes and neatness, how come wristwatch? I just dey ask ni o.
Na for where JSS3 student dey fall in love? By Nigeria's system of education, a JSS3 student should be between the age bracket 12-14 or thereabout. Shey na early puberty ni? Wetin I dey talk sef?
Now let me do the needful.
The way you described the Mr Taiwo scene, which sane teacher would ask his students if they were flirting. Its totally uncalled for. Even the mad teachers we had then in school won't ask such question even if you are holding hands.
Or maybe I missed something. You told us you are chatting with Hadijat, just normal talk talk. Which one be flirting again. Me I fear your teachers o.
JSS3 student prefect? I think there is a mistake somewhere, is the school just coming up or it doesn't have the senior class?
I know this story is a fiction, but you can try and make it real.
It seemed the teachers have singled out Tosin and his brother cos from the way you described the entry of your teachers, one would think they wanted to punish an offender or law breaker, but asking Tosin the multiplication table '14' actually killed the vibe. I may be wrong tho.
What am I saying sef? Lemme drop my pen into the basket of... basket of what sef? She kip it up.

--continuation--
The time was 10am and the activities inside the Lagos state high court was a record breaking one. Big cases were being trashed out that morning and the lawyers who had shown up either is defence or prosecution of the cases really had something to do. The judge who had precided over the last two cases that morning really had a lot to do in maintaining peace, because at some point, the lawyers threatened to go physical with each other, the use of abusive words led to the defence lawyer producing a plank from under his chair and threatened to hit the procecuting counsel for the government with it. Thanks for the quick intervention of the police who quickly controlled both men and in the end, Doctor Rapheal was sentence to five years imprisonment for his association with armed robbers.
The next case that started around 9:05am was between two married couples who wanted divorce, in a flash, they had settled the case and they were allowed to go their seperate ways with the woman given half of her husband's property. The man protested, but he was reminded of his stance to let the woman go with the kids and cater for them and by all standards, the woman has no job while the man is very rich.
The divorce case served as comic relief to the spectators in the court room because the stunts and moves performed by the couples were comical.
Now, the time is ten o'clock, twenty minutes after the verdict has been made on the couple's case, it is now time for the big one, the big case, the star case. The case between, the Lagos state government and a certain Miss Victoria and also another case filed by a certain Mrs Juliana Kingsley on the death of her husband five months ago. The government's case against a certain Mr Rahmon Ibn Badmus known as and Miss Sandra Oselu against Rahmon.
"The Defence counsel please." The court clerk announce.
The very popular Barrister Benson rose up and bowed slightly for the judge.
"I am Barrister Benson, the defence counsel on behalf of my client, Miss Victoria."
The events of the previous day inside this same court was still fresh in his memory especially when he realised that he would be having another take on with Barrister Odigwu who was contacted at the eleventh hour by Mrs Kingsley, who wanted justice by all means.
The first charge to be treated was Victoria's involvement with the death of Mr Kingsley, the chairman of the Nigerian petroleum price Regulation commission who was killed by an unknown killer a few months ago.
Victoria expertly denied her involvement claiming that on the said date, she was hanging out with her friends, all of whom were in the prison now at a popular guest house in Ikeja, Lovers & Mix. Evidences provided by Benson to backup Victoria's claims included a picture of Victoria in front of the said guest house, and checking the date that accompanied the picture, it matched with the date and time that Kingsley was killed.
"My lord, I stand to disagree with Mrs Kingsley on this because after the death of her husband, may his soul rest in perfect peace. She contacted me to help her charge whoever was responsible for the act to court as soon as the police gets him. I submitted my discovery in relation to the police report to Mrs Kingsley. We found out that Mr Kingsley was killed by a man because he fingerprint clearly shows that and by extra investigations I did afterwards, suspected members of the Khal corp came and snatched the fingerprint result and reports written by Detective Ngozi summed it up. Whoever sent the Khal corp to kill Mr Kingsley must be someone in government. One of their political sponsors." Benson explained.
"I can't understand why Mrs Kingsley is trying to pin a charge against my client when we had arrived at a promising conclusion. I find it baseless."
Odigwu who couldn't lay his hands on any evidence lost out flatly to Benson who smiled victoriously. Victoria was subsequently cleared of the murder case.
The next case that was brought forward involved The police and Victoria. The illegal possession of firearm, the police counsel, Agent Matilda of the FBI called it.
Sandra as a witness came forward, gave extensive explanation on how she met Victoria and sent her to help her get the girl who was planted by Rahmon to blackmail her. Benson showed the picture of himself and Sandra half unclad before the court without shame and defended Victoria with the best of his abilities. Matilda tried her best to maintain her stand that Victoria owned the guns she used against Rahmon's men. The judge wasn't convinced and to everybody's concern, Rahmon stood in defence of Victoria.
Victoria was then sentenced to six months in prison for punishing offender illegally by agreeing to kidnap the unknown girl who blackamiled sandra on Rahmon's orders who according to Sandra had ran away.

--to be continued--

--continuation--
Of all the officers expected to be on the day duty from 7:30am to 6pm, Ngozi was the first to resume and the reason behind this was not far fetched, she came early because she wanted to break a rule and by all standards, she shattered the rule to pieces.
This singular act of hers has been trending for the past two weeks and she had never failed to carry out such assignment every morning. Her reason being that, its almost seventeen years since she last saw her brother, and now that she finally met him, it is only for a limited time. He is likely to be killed if the law takes its full course, but if by chance he is lucky, then he could bag a life sentence which is as good as being sentenced to death.
"Are you satisfied now?" She asked him as she dropped the bottle of water.
"Yes I am." He replied.
She carefully convered the plate with its lid and dropped it inside a small bag, same with the bottle of water. From the look of things, one would know that Ngozi just fed her brother, and the rules binding every police officer is that, on no account should you give a suspect or accused in custody anything edible, because if such person should complain of stomach disorder or anything relating to that, the last food he ate would be asked, and if such officer is found, regardless of his rank, not minding his pedigree, his past records and successes or anticedents, he would stripped of his rank and discharged from the force.
"You cook well, just like mother." Jay complimented.
Instantly, hot tears sprang up and threatened to spill any moment.
"Thank you." With shaky voice and she stood up and ran out of the cell, not forgetting to switch off the light and locked the iron bars.
----------
Unlike an hour ago when Ngozi arrived to feed Jay when there were only about two police officers around who were sleeping soundly and a few minutes after her arrival, two overnight patrol team arrrived and changed before heading to their respective homes. At some point she was the only living soul inside the police station , or better still put as, she was the only free human being inside the station, the other occupants were either waiting for a court summon or a second hearing. The station was now burstling with activities, the last time she checked the attendance book, there were about twenty of officers present already.
She swept accross the waiting room responding to greeting from the officer behind the counter as she slipped into Clement's office turned Sylvester's office.
"Good morning." She greeted taking her seat.
"Hey." He replied dropping the news paper he was reading.
"Spoke with Clement lately?" She asked.
"No. He only sent me a message last night."
"Same here. But I called him back and he wanted to know if the backup team is in place, and since it can be either you or the commissioner in charge of the backup team, I referred him to you guys. Did he call you?" She asked.
Sylvester thought for a while. "No, he didn't call me. His message was somehow confusing. He said he is leaving and heading on a rescue mission. Mike I guess." Sylvester explained.
"Really? I thought he said he sent you, the commissioner and I the same message. Maybe I misunderstood him." Ngozi replied.
"Maybe." He said picking up the newspaper once again and flipping over the pages.
"So, he is on his way to Khal corp now?" Ngozi asked.
"He should be there already." Sylvester replied.
"And he doesn't need backup?"
"According to him, he can do it alone." Sylvester replied.
Ngozi was not convinced of what the problem might be between Sylvester and Clement, but as things were, it seemed Sylvester is not interested in working with Clement anymore.
"We are visiting Mr Ayo's residence this morning. So, get prepared. Okay?"
"Mr Ayo's residence?" She asked with an alarmed look.
Sylvester nodded his head.
"But why? Don't you think there is nothing helpful in that house?" Ngozi asked.
"Well, the underground is not yet explored. It could lead us somewhere important. So be prepared."

--to be continued--

For some reasons, I won't be able to update tonight as planned. Lets make it tomorrow.

creamy1990:
All thanks to the air condition of the car which was on, he would have suffocated behind the wheels as a result of the offensive odour of cow dungs and rotten animals which wafted through his nose as he moved slowly....my questn goes thus. Was d car's side glasses winded dwn for him to av bn able to percieve d offensive odour while d car's AC was on? He suldnt av been able to percieve with d glasses up and d AC on

Well, to answer your question. The glasses were up actually.

alabig:
Will clement determine how the body guards operate, if at all they use body language? And being at the gate could be somehow intriguing if clement does'nt know name of the unfortunate body guard he is about to impersonate.

You are so on point my brother. But I won't talk.

And what if it turns out that there is no mole anywhere? What will happen to all your guesses?
Oh! Mike mentioned it somewhere? Well, you'll be shocked to know who the mole is because the first question that will come to your mind is, but if he/she is the mole, why did they do this to him/her?
I already narrowed your guesses to a few people.
Oya let me guess.
I think the mole is Clement.
Update drops before 10pm. How was your day? @evribody.

Olaooni88:
Sharhap!!! because U don't knw wat U're saying.

Aunty, shey na fight? Oya tell me, shey d guy lie ni?

To start with, I think I love your story. Its still in its early stage tho, but am sure it will pull crowds.
Now lemme go straight to the point, the things I noticed that I want you to correct.
1. The use of the capital letters: You were kind of inconsistent with the way you use the upper case letters. In your first update, I saw something like 'mrs dan' also I saw something like 'bahamas' or something. I think things like that should start with capital letters. Shey you get?
2. Your posts are kind of stuffy: I must confess, I had difficulty reading the previous updates, you know why? Your spacing and paragraphing. I think you should use your space button more often. When you want to start a new paragraph, press the space button like three times to give it the margin it deserved. And also when you want to write a dialogue.
Lemme give you an example here;
I walked into the classroom with my schoolbag hung tightly to my back.
"Good morning ma." I greeted Mrs Andrew, the Government teacher. A beautiful blonde lady in her mid forties...bla bla bla
3. Maybe I am making mistakes or I failed to read that part, I will say I know little or nothing about Lillian and her family. You told us she has a sister, Faith you called her, try and paint a clear picture of the family. Lillian is beautiful, with pointed nose, she got that from her grandfather according to you. But give us details, where does her father work? Her mother nko?
Basically I think you should work more on your descriptions, paragraphing and spacing. Someone else will correct your grammar and use of tenses, simply because I am no grammarian.
Lastly, I think you should work on your updates. I can see you have many stories in writing, why don't you start with one and finish it before venturing into another one. By the time you finished your first story, you yourself would be suprised at the rate at which you have improve, then you can make your other stories better before posting them here.
You may not see my comments here anymore, don't worry, I am always busy. Am a writer too and I welcome you into the league. I do hope you'll make 2015 one of my bests on Nairaland.
Cheers!

Galaxdiva:
Tsunami ko? Tsunami ni? Abeg honey,complete d story pls....

You dey vex ni? I'll try and repost the lost chapters, okay?

--continuation--
Clement realising that he had revealed himself to the enemies took to his heels and ran as fast as he could along the swampy area, he couldn't explain why the village was like than. Some parts are dry while a few other parts were wet.
He fell as he ran in a zig-zag, but giving up would be sucidal. He saw a big shed where about a hundred of cattles were kept, this could prove to be his only escape route. He thought as he ran into the shed and mixed up with the cattle.
He touched his pocket for a feel of his phone but it was nowhere to be found. No doubt, he had lost his connection with the outside world, and this stage is not the time to give up just because he lost his phone. He thought as he carefully placed a grenade at three strategic places inside the shed and he quietly slipped out through the second entrance without being spotted or heard. And from there he proceeded into a nearby bush where he set up his weapons, loaded his guns with bullets and squatted behind the thick bush watching whatever his enemies are up to.
Luckily for him, the combed and searched everywhere for him, but couldn't find him, maybe because they were too stupid to think that he could be hiding in the bush. But as God would have it, Clement's flashlight flickered on that moment and one of the men glanced back and saw the pointed light. Before he could alert the others, one of the grenades went off and subsequently, the other two went off. The men were able to escape, but the one who saw Clement died as a result of the explosion. The cattles inside the shed all died in the process and Clement knew there definitely would be war.
When he was gradually getting back himself, he heard a gunshot from Peter's apartment which means the young man has been killed for housing a policeman. Even though he was hopeful that Peter was the one who pulled the trigger, but the cry which followed the gunshot no doubt belonged to Peter.
After spending roughly and hour inside the bush, silence was restored in the village, and the only sound that could be heard was the chirping insects and the singing birds. Clement decided to take his chances, the time was 1:46am already. And slowly he crawled towards Peter's house, but the lifeless Peter he met inside the apartment sent cold shivers down his spine. If it were to be a woman, her first reaction woulb be t scream her lungs out thereby, alerting the gunmen whom he was sure were still lurking around somewhere.
He felt guilty looking at Peter because he concluded that he was responsible for the youngman's death. Someone with a very bright future was murdered a few months after he graduated with a first class in Mathematics. He paid his last respect to the dead, then he moved out of the house to implement his plans with or without backup.
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His heartbeat increased as he approached his father's house carefully, thank God for the darkness that has taken over the village, he would have been spotted a while ago and special thanks to God who kept the moon at bay, because if the moon were to be out that night, then he would probably be a few metres behind Peter as they journey to heaven. He got to the gate faster than he expected and without thinking twice, he knocked silently.
"Who is there?" A voice asked, silently too.
"Its me, I am dying." He replied without thinking of the implication of this little trick of his. And suprisingly it worked, the bodyguard thought it was one of their members who was shot by the policeman they went to search for, so he quickly pushed the gate open and came out.
Clement at once grabbed him by the neck and dragged him away towards the other side of the fence.
"Remove you uniform." Clement ordered.
And with no resistance, Clement helped him out of his clothes.
"What language do you speak in there?" Clement asked.
"English, French and Italian." The man replied.
Clement carefully lynched the man and when he was sure that he had squeezed life out of him, he dropped him somewhere inside the bush, after which he came back and put on the man's uniform and he proceeded to enter the compound as one of the bodyguards. The greatest risk one could take in life is to carry a baby lion and showing it to its angry mother. Only a Daniel can leave there unhurt.

--to be continued--