₦airaland Forum

mrvitalis:
Nkruma? Like nkruma that nearly killed Ghana?

Do you guys read at all?

Nkruma that brought rubbish socialist refromes that failed?

Just like saying chairman Mao was a good leader for China

Stop believing rubbish and read

That's the narrative and propaganda of the West and soldiers who removed him by coup.
But this question is malformed. Sankara and Rawlings were great leaders. Also Lumumba deserves a mention. These were principled men ready to lose even their lives

Introduction
Disciplining a misbehaving child can be one of the most challenging aspects of parenting. Many parents default to harsh punishments or yelling, but research shows that positive discipline techniques are more effective in the long run. Positive discipline focuses on teaching children acceptable behaviors through empathy, communication, and problem-solving. In this article, we’ll explore five (5) positive discipline approaches that can help you guide your child’s behavior in a constructive way.

Redirect Unwanted Behavior
When your child starts to engage in unwanted behavior, try redirecting their attention to a more positive activity. This approach allows you to address the undesirable behavior without harsh punishment, which can often lead to resentment or defiance in young children.

For example, if your child is throwing toys, you can say “It looks like you’re having fun throwing, but toys are for playing, not throwing. Let’s go build a tower instead.”

By acknowledging their desire for an energetic activity, and then redirecting that energy into a constructive outlet, you give your child an alternative way to satisfy their impulses. Redirection works best when you can identify the root cause of the misbehavior. Is your child bored and seeking stimulation? Frustrated and looking for an outlet? Tired and cranky? Understanding the underlying need can help you choose an appropriate redirected activity that will genuinely engage your child.

In addition to redirecting physical behaviors, you can also redirect your child’s attention and language. If they are using unkind words, you can say “I know you’re feeling upset, but let’s think of a nicer way to express that.” Then guide them towards more positive phrasing.

The key to effective redirection is to make the alternative activity just as appealing, if not more so, than the undesirable behavior. With patience and practice, your child will learn to self-regulate and find constructive ways to meet their needs.

Ignore Misbehavior (When It’s Safe to Do So)
As parents, it can be tempting to react immediately to every instance of misbehavior. However, some behaviors, such as whining or tantrums, may be best addressed by simply ignoring them. This approach, when used strategically, can be a powerful tool in your positive discipline toolkit.

The logic behind ignoring misbehavior is rooted in the principles of reinforcement. Children, like all of us, tend to repeat behaviors that get them the attention or reaction they desire. By refusing to give these undesirable behaviors an audience or reaction, you remove the reinforcement the child was seeking. Over time, they will learn that whining, throwing fits, or other disruptive actions no longer yield the desired outcome.

This technique should only be applied to behaviors that are not dangerous or significantly disruptive. If your child is in a situation where they could harm themselves or others, or if their misbehavior is severely impacting the well-being of your family, you’ll need to step in and address the issue directly. The key is to carefully assess each situation and determine whether ignoring the behavior is the most appropriate response.

When choosing to ignore misbehavior, it’s important to do so calmly and consistently. Avoid scolding, lecturing, or any other form of engagement, as this can inadvertently reinforce the very behavior you’re trying to eliminate. Instead, redirect your attention to more positive activities or interactions, making it clear that the undesirable behavior will not be rewarded.

With patience and persistence, the strategic use of ignoring can help your child learn to self-regulate and find more constructive ways to express their needs and emotions. By removing the payoff for misbehavior, you empower your child to make better choices and build a stronger, more positive relationship in the process.

Praise for Positive Behaviors
As parents, one of the most powerful tools we have in our positive discipline toolkit is the strategic use of praise. By acknowledging and celebrating our children’s good behaviors, we can reinforce the actions we want to see more of, while also boosting their self-esteem and intrinsic motivation. The key to effective praise is to be specific and sincere. Rather than generic statements like “good job,” try to highlight the particular behavior that you want to encourage.

For example, you could say “I’m so proud of you for sharing your toys with your sister” or “Thank you for cleaning up your room without being asked.”

This level of specificity helps your child understand exactly which behaviors are deserving of recognition. Praise works by tapping into our innate desire for approval and validation. When a child receives genuine, positive feedback from a trusted caregiver, it triggers the release of feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin. Over time, this creates a positive feedback loop, where the child is motivated to repeat the praised behaviors in order to experience those rewarding sensations again.

Beyond just a momentary boost, praise can also have long-lasting benefits for a child’s development. Studies have shown that children who receive frequent, authentic praise tend to have higher self-esteem, greater self-confidence, and a stronger internal locus of control. They are more likely to take pride in their accomplishments and believe in their own capabilities.

It’s important to strike the right balance. Excessive or insincere praise can actually backfire, causing children to become overly dependent on external validation. The goal is to create an environment where praise is a genuine, meaningful reward – one that encourages your child to continue making positive choices, both for themselves and for your family.

Set a Good Example
As parents, one of the most impactful ways we can guide our children’s behavior is by modeling the very qualities and actions we hope to see from them. Children are keen observers, absorbing and often mimicking the behaviors of the important adults in their lives. By setting a good example, we can harness the power of observational learning to shape our children’s conduct in a positive direction.

This starts with managing our own emotions and responses. When we find ourselves feeling frustrated, angry, or overwhelmed, it’s important to take a step back and regulate our reactions. By remaining calm, using polite language, and finding constructive ways to work through challenges, we demonstrate for our children how to handle difficult situations with maturity and grace.

The choices we make as parents send a powerful message. Are we making healthy, responsible decisions? Do we treat others, including our children, with kindness and respect? Do we take ownership of our mistakes and model accountability? The more our own behaviors align with the values we hope to impart, the more compelling those lessons will be for our kids.

No parent is perfect, and we will inevitably make missteps. The key is to acknowledge those moments transparently, apologize when necessary, and use them as opportunities to teach our children about the importance of self-improvement and personal growth.

By setting a consistently positive example, we create an environment where the behaviors we want to see – cooperation, empathy, integrity – become the cultural norm. Over time, our children will internalize these qualities, drawing from our model to inform their own decision-making and interpersonal interactions.

Modeling the change we wish to see is one of the most profound and lasting gifts we can offer our children. It requires self-awareness and discipline, but the dividends in terms of their development are immeasurable.

Offer Choices to Avoid Power Struggles
As parents, we’ve all experienced the frustration of a power struggle with our children. These heated battles of will can quickly escalate, leading to misbehavior, resentment, and a strained parent-child relationship. Fortunately, there is a simple strategy we can employ to sidestep these unproductive conflicts: offering choices.

By presenting our children with appropriate options within the boundaries we’ve established, we can empower them to feel in control of their actions, while still maintaining our parental authority. This approach taps into a child’s natural desire for autonomy and decision-making power, channeling that energy into constructive, mutually-agreed-upon outcomes.

For example, instead of issuing a command like “It’s time to get dressed for school,” we can say “It’s time to get dressed for school. Would you like to wear the blue shirt or the red one?”

This small shift gives the child a sense of agency, allowing them to feel like an active participant rather than a passive recipient of our directives. The key is to ensure that the choices we offer are truly acceptable to us as parents. We want to avoid creating a false sense of choice by presenting options that are not actually options. The goal is to guide our children towards responsible decisions, not just to appease them in the moment.

Offering choices can be an especially effective strategy when dealing with everyday routines and transitions, where power struggles often arise. By infusing these mundane moments with a sense of control, we can preempt battles of will and create a more cooperative, harmonious dynamic.

There will be times when no choice is the right choice. In those instances, it’s important to be clear, firm, and consistent in our parental guidance. But by making judicious use of this simple technique, we can go a long way towards avoiding unnecessary conflict and fostering a more positive, collaborative relationship with our children.

Conclusion
Disciplining a misbehaving child doesn’t have to mean harsh punishments or yelling. By using positive discipline techniques like redirection, selective ignoring, praise, modeling good behavior, and offering choices, you can address misbehavior while also building your child’s skills and self-esteem. The key is to be patient, consistent, and focus on teaching rather than just punishing. With time and practice, these positive approaches can transform challenging behaviors into opportunities for growth.

Oblitz:
How about Mandela?

White people didnt leave SA

Nkruma and Nyerere

If Euro didn't challenge $ I wonder how BRIC will

Beststay:
Promoting our culture is key. Young parents should also learn to talk to their children in the native dialect. They can learn English in school, but at home, na traditional way.

Ok, why? Woo your native dialect epp?

HRMK:
comparing advanced countries with african countries is a very dumb thing to do!are we in same class?you are comparing an over 200yrs democracy with that of less than 100yrs!TOO BAD!!

You talk like a real idıot. Please tell us how you justify that a citizen is paid FROM OUR COMMON MONEY 1,266 times more than another citizen. And that sacrifice is to start from the person being paid almost nothing. Forget democracy, US, and everything else

This is not true. Nobody likes a scratching, biting, ruthless, climber with no time for anybody and always laser focused on biz.
Everybody likes a settled, wealthy (and therefore generous) guy who's always smiling and kind (because he's made it), and can always spare some time

All I'm focused on is that senators make 1,266 times the current minimum wage (while in US senators make about 5 times the minimum wage!)

HellVictorinho6:
What are u selling?


Is .it what i can afford

Depends. How much can you afford?

Pootle:
i use the word hear meaning we barely hear anything about them, example is otedola children we hear from them every now and then

Well, Otedola is not a billionaire. Which billionaires do you hear about their children (not just Nigeria, in the world)

Pootle:
you dont get what i mean, you think i can google search,

So what do you mean?

Pootle:
how com we don hear of dagote children

See why below

TOPCRUISE:
Kola abiola feels he owns all 50% and above of all his father's wealth. If he has integrity he should comply to the will his father left behind. Someone that won't comply to his father's will is thinking of becoming president of Nigeria. Shame on who will vote for him

He must have been strictly complying with whatever is in the will, otherwise it would have been court cases all over the place over the past 30 years. When that type of money is involved lawyers don't play

travelzcruix:
That's Jordan style, in essence who is in charge will know when it's time to leave the scene.

Meaning what? You built something, it's yours to do with as you please till you die

kollog:
This is Karma in it's entirety.

When you make money legitimately and mix it will illegitimate Wealth, then this is bound to happen.

Lesson to learn from MKO Abiola's life (his past, history, present and family predicaments)

How about all these families that built their wealths from criminality and their wealths have only grown through the centuries, till today!!

travelzcruix:
Anybody that wants to practice polygamy should learn how it is practiced in the Arab world. Take Saudi Arabia for example, the crowned prince MBS, was trained for that role, despite being the father's favorite amongst many children, mind you, he is not the first born.
He managed the properties and family wealth while the father is still alive. There was once he arrested and detained every one of the royal house until they paid all outstanding debts they owed multinationals. But here we will always bring sentiment of respect even if the pikin na crack head to manage wealth. I am from a polygamous home and for that area, na live and death matter.

So the bolded is the big strategy, right? What if your son decides to push you out and take over completely? That's the dilemma. Or he decides you've lived long enough

faceland:
Abdulmumuni should control his weed. I don't know what he is gaining all these confessions.

What do you mean??
He's calling out his brother so he'll mend his ways

UNNGRADUATEEE:
I have been wondering about this since on how people pay exorbitant money to buy admission in Federal universities for mostly medicine, pharmacy or other professional courses? I think this system is already making the qualified students not to get that admission which is subsequently sold away. I use myself as a case study, my jamb score was 300 when I wrote jamb then and I was looking forward to smash Unizik post utme then for medicine and surgery. Then Egboka from Umuchu Anambra state was the Vice-chancellor. I know I was intelligent to pass the post utme to get medicine only for me to see 220 as my post utme results. I was devasted and suicidal then because it seems like my life was over, I cried all night because I knew what I wrote in the post utme. A lecturer that knows my family then promised to help me get the medicine and he later said I have to pay 250k since they are ogas at the top that he has to settle. 250k as of 2013 was a hell big money that could buy Toyota Camry 2002 model then. I didn't have such money so I accepted my fate and rescinded my urge for medical pursuit. That same year, I know of a girl that got pharmacy because her father was a professor in the university and she confided in me by saying that others pay same 250k that I told earlier for any professional course. I think they intentionally fail people in post utme to create space for those that were willing to buy admission. This made me to give up in school for years before going to UNN and applying for chemistry which I got on merit list.

Last year, a friend of mine told me that he paid #700k for his brother to get pharmacy at UNN. Same last year, I know of a girl that paid #700k at Imo state university to study nursing. Just few minutes ago before I wrote this, I overheard a phone conversation of a likely rich man in a bar I am in currently trying to drink a bottle to calm my thinking. In the phone conversation, the man was actually talking to a professor because he kept shouting professor due to network issues. I was around the man's table so I eavesdropped on the phone call and he was told to pay 1 million naira for his child admission into Unizik to study medicine. In the call, the man keep reiterating with a brazen voice that his son scored so low in jamb with a 202 jamb score but I guessed he was assured that the jamb score won't be a problem and that prompted him to say "No problem Prof, I would send it to your account before nightfall". If the man is in Nairaland and read this post then he would know am the one because am the closest person to his table. Well, am leaving the bar few minutes from now.


How are we safe in a country where people use money to buy medicine, pharmacy and nursing hereby getting the slot exhausted and depriving the intelligent ones from studying it?

Richiez, Fynestboi, olawalebabs, nlfpmod, Seun,
Why is this well-written, authentic, informative, first-person experience piece not on front page??

There were lots of light from stars b4 the sun formed, and the sun is older than the earth!

Forget that thing and start looking for another career. Ai writes well enough, is cheap, and keeps getting better

xtianchris:
Omg what could be the cause. leaving his colleagues shocked as to why he chose to take his life. Myself I'm shocked

You're shocked?
Well, this below will really shock you and it's 100% true!

FANTASTICrebel:
You see this Army Job?
I mean serving in the Nigerian Army is the most ridiculous, shameful decision anyone would make. Bunch of local, unpatriotic, selfish and unorganized force in the whole world.

Turns out it's not only Nigerian army. See below

Shall we tell her?

ThiefnubuBandit:
This old white cargo dey yarn opata. Na dustbin she dey talk.

Do I sense jealousy? Just asking

Isaacc729l:
Tinubus bold actions may not be popular, but they are necessary for Nigerias growth and progress. I stand with him.

phemray:
Yes ooo, most people don't know the importance of the bold steps, they only look at the pains. If these was done since 1999 the pains would have gone and reset Nigeria but unfortunately a lot of people benefitting from fuel importation and generators importation are the reasons for no working refinery and power generation respectively for decades. Someone must stop it one day.

HRMK:
FOR BEEN LAVISH AND WASTEFUL FOR 4YRS!HOW MUCH IS GIVEN TO CIVIL SERVANTS THAT SERVED FOR 35YRS?

But things have to make a little bit of sense, don't you think? We are no longer asking for fairness, just that things make sense.
Does this below make sense to you?
A US senator makes about 5 times their minimum wage. A Nigerian senator makes 1,266 times minimum wage!
In all honesty where do you think the sacrifice ought start??

HellVictorinho6:
dry soul

Better than dry dick

HellVictorinho6:
whatever youre saying






Whatever that means

It means...
Skelewu, skelewu, skelewu, ske skelelee skelewu...

UnitedKingdom:
Go and kill yourself

Kill myself for what??!! I agreed with you!!
Not only is Mr Obi the cause of our problems, he is the ONLY cause of our problems!

Bobloco:
Peter Obi is demarketing Nigeria. He is the reason FDI's are not flowing in

Seriously. If not for Mr Obi, Dubai will be nothing compared to Nigeria right now. He is the cause of 99% of our problems (I don't want to say 100%)

Isaacc729l:
Oga, make una leave APC alone! Dem don try for this country, na Labour Party and Peter Obi followers dey spread fake news. Na dem be the real damage to Nigeria.

No mind them.
If not for Mr Obi Nigeria will be flying high right now. He is the cause of 95% of our problems

jeromestarks:
🤣
DaddyCool , nice name really.

Thanks. A virgin gave it to me

Exousiang01:
France and cup recently with an almost all black team.
Your brain is under your foot

Almost.
A whole continent of Sub-Saharan Africa ALWAYS has all-black teams and never make it to finals

ferhyntorlah:
There are blacks living in Argentina but in the minority and likely in remote areas.

Not all were extinguished abeg.

Of course. Specifically it's been documented there are Igbos in EVERY country in the world!