₦airaland Forum

In 1983, Bamanga Tukur was the Governor of the defunct Gongola State (now Adamawa & Taraba) and 30 years later, he is today the Chairman of the ruling Party, The PDP; Dr. Bello Halliru was commissioner in the Old Sokoto State (now Sokoto, Kebbi & Zamfara) and 33 years after he is today Minister of Defence; Major General David Mark(rtd) was the military governor of Niger State in 1984 and 28years later he is today the Senate President; Gov. Murtala Nyako was the governor of Niger State in 1976 and 36years later he is today the Governor of Adamawa State; Ogbonnaya Onu was governor of Abia State in 1992 and 20years after he is today the National Chairman of ANPP; Gov. David Jonah Jang was the governor of Benue State in 1985 and 27years after he is today the governor of plateau state; and Martins Elechi the Ebonyi State Governor is over 80 years old! Only in Nigeria is this possible, where the youth of today have no hope into the future! Where do we go from here? People Deceive People (PDP), 1985, IBB was the president of Nigeria and our teachers told us that Buhari was the former Head of state..Our teacher also called us "the leaders of tomorrow".. 27years later, IBB and Buhari are still contesting for Presidency..Its either our teacher lied to us about being the leaders of tomorrow..Or tomorrow is yet to come.. Who's fooling who? Some of us ran out of the country,Obasanj o went abroad chasing them,telling all nations to deport Nigerian youths. Let's stand and fight for our right cos we are the leaders of Today... Pls let all youth come to an alliance and fight for the unborn. We can't continue like this. Pass it to everyone if you believe in the NIGERIA DREAM. Where do we go from here?

@favinvest, if na flash u receive no try am o but if u receive call frm God, u fit try am o.. Don't lead pple to hell o

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If you want to get rich quick, here is the Nigerian blueprint. But please, don’t tell anyone I “wiki-leaked” this highly-classified national secret to you.
1 Rob a bank
This strategy has gone through some transition. Bank-robbers used to be men of theunderworld who held banks hostage at gunpoint and then made off with the cash. However, it was soon recognised that this approach has distinct disadvantages. You might get arrested and jailed. Even worse, you might get shot. It also became apparent that banks carry limited amounts of cash.
Therefore, a successful bank robbery of this violent kind might only land you perhaps 50 million naira tops, which is not even enough to buy or build a house in Banana Island. There is a better way to rob a bank with far limited risk. Simply establish a bank.
When you establish a bank, you can rob the bank every day without a gun. When people deposit money in your bank, they don’t know that they are handing over their life-savings to a thief. You then rob the bank you establish in a number of imaginative ways.
For example, you can lend money to your bank and then charge it a very high interest-rate. Better still, you can borrow billions from your bank and simply forget to pay it back. Or, you can use the money deposited in your bank to buy houses and then rent them out as branches to your bank at exorbitant prices.
This approach is guaranteed to make you a fewbillion naira until the EFCC policemen come calling. When they do, you can quickly fall sick, spend a few months in Deluxe Hospital Hotel and then relocate to your village to enjoyyour wealth, never to be heard of again.
2 Join the PDP.
This one is a sure banker. As a member of the greatest party in the history of Africa, you will be given a credit-card to spend Nigeria’s oil wealth. If you are not getting enough attention in the party, make a lot of noise. Abuse Tinubu on the pages of the newspapers and call Buhari an idiot.
Insist that Goodluck Jonathan should not only run for re-election unopposed in 2015, there should be a constitutional amendment to make him a life-president. This is a tell-tale sign thatyou are hungry; and the powers-that-be will soon invite you to “come and chop.”
As a distinguished member of this great party, the opportunities open for you to set yourself up for life are considerable. For example, you can start collecting billions for petroleum subsidy and simply not import any petrol whatsoever. You can get the government to change all car license-plates nationwide; and then become the sole supplier of the new license-plates.
You can ask the president to make you the soleimporter and distributor of diesel for the entirecountry. Of course, this might also entail that you become the chairman of his re-election campaign, to which you duly make a handsomecontribution. Alternatively, you can ask to be chairman of the Nigerian Ports Authority.
Nobody will bat an eyelid when, within a matter of months, you have a fleet of cars, havetwo or three houses in Asokoro, and own four hotels in Dubai.
You may even kick out your wife and marry a fourteen-year-old “Suzie” befitting your new status. You have arrived as one of Nigeria’s celebrated rich men. But keep your eyes on the ball. Don’t get distracted or carried away. The enemies of Mr. President must always remain your enemies.
3 Start a mega-church
This one is pure genius. Peradventure you loseyour job or fall on hard times. Don’t go into depression. Just start a church. Make it a purpose-built church. Think of something that men need. Tell them you have the anointing toprovide it. Tell them whoever wants to be a billionaire should come to your church. Start afew of your messages with “Thus says the Lord.” Then teach your congregation the everlasting principles of sowing and reaping.
Make sure they understand that if they really want God to bless them financially, they first have to give you as much money as possible. Create a special prayer group for millionaires and billionaires. That way, if they get any new government contract they will attribute it to the efficacy of your prayers and credit something big into your bank account. Tell everybody to give you their “first-fruits.”
That is a code word for their entire January salaries. Then come up with imaginative offerings to collect, such as “prophet’s offering,” (you, of course, being the prophet); “Father, Son and Holy Ghost offerings;” “Jesus will do it offering.”
Very soon, you will be flying your own private jet to preach your gospel in Ilesha; you will be wearing white Armani suits and jerry-curling your hair; you will be collecting gate-fees for new years’ eve services; billionaire thieves androbbers will be queuing up to see your private-secretary on the Lagos-Ibadan expressway. In short, you will be living large. For good measure, you will also be slapping demons out of poor bewitched damsels with impunity.
4 Become a mule
There is high demand for this job. There are many politicians and men of timber and caliberlooking for mules; men who can keep stolen money for them, or smuggle it to safe havens abroad. This is a highly lucrative job because for every ten billion naira you smuggle, you can pocket one billion. Don’t get greedy and come to the conclusion that you can make off with the entire loot.
That is a sure way to have assassins on your tail. Before they kill you, they will first break your legs. If you are caught while smuggling money abroad, you can easily escape and comeback home dressed as a woman. Then you can get a national merit award.
If you are a mule for a president or a governor,you are set up for life. You will get 24 hours military protection so that no petty thief can come near you. You will get to travel all over the world. You will get free medical check-ups,so that you don’t just fall down one day and die.
That would be disastrous, especially if your sponsor does not know exactly where you kept his loot, or if he does not have the password to the secret account you opened for it in the Bahamas in the name of Ali Baba.
5 Obituary
I remember the story of a former Nigerian Head of State who allegedly kept a billion dollars with a mule. Then the mule had a stroke. Every effort was made to get him to say just a few words, namely the number of theaccount where the loot was stashed; but to no avail.
After a few months, the man died. This “national” calamity has prompted the review ofthe conditions of service of mules. There are now two new, strictly prohibited, clauses. Mules must not have strokes, and under no circumstances should a mule presume to die. If he does, his generations yet unborn will suffer for it.
(P.S./N.B. If you have perfected other Nigerianapproaches to quick wealth than these, don’t hesitate to let me know. I promise to keep the matter strictly confidential). Abeg if them catch you no mention my name o! Infact, we no meet sef. U no know me I no know U.. Gbam!

Hmmm.... What re their criteria?

Better for him. Media pls respect his privacy and let him marry in peace. This is not a celebrity show except he turns it so.. Wish him well and atleast he can concentrate instead of moving about wit different ladies.

SimonSniper: And graduates are jobless

My brother, u don see am finish o, this kind country wen we dey so.... One proverb for my place say " Onye egbu agbor ke agbor agbaye" meaning " who dey beat d whole community naim d community dey respect" Militants re more important than graduates in naija

DG CONCEPTS AT MOBOLAJI BANK-ANTHONY WAY, IKEJA, LAGOS. Please does anyone have information about this firm. I have been invited for job recruitment exercise/briefing. I want to know if they re genuine. I'll appreciate ur sincere and matured responses. Thanks.

It's easy for FG to agree and sign d jumbo salaries & allowances of d politicians and some selfish & clueless Senators and Legislation ruining dis nation but to sign agreements to improve d standard of our universities is a big problem for them. This shows that dis pple don't ve any plans for d common Nigerian youth. They don't ve interest of d ordinary Nigerians. Nigerian youths should use their tongues to count dia teeth, 2015 is around d corner....*SMH* what a pity. U be student o problem, u become graduate o wahala, naija which way?

@Belabela....
Re u trying to tell us tht Ese didn't inform her parents or family members abt these whole super story before bringing to the social media? Because I read d whole script I never saw where she informed dem. And if so, she is not serious and not being truthful to herself.

Hebunn: Each time I see stories like this, one thing comes to my mind... The devil wants to discourage people from going to church. I don't worship pastors, and I'm nt a church fanatic... But no matter the scandals, God will forever remain God, and He's forever faithful. So the earlier people know this, the better for us all. Anytime I walk by a news stand and I see all those soft sell magazines that claim to expose church scandals, I quickly take my eyes off them. I'm not denying the fact that these scandals truly occur, but I don't wanna be discouraged. I've experienced God, and I BELIEVE in Him, so I won't be deterred by such negative stuffs. Opinions are mine, pls...
God helps us all.

My guy God bless u. U jst spoke my mind... I'm not a fan of all these Pastor celebrity and fanatics we ve in churches these days. Some pple forgot tht Jesus Christ is d head of d church and not d pastors and Revs. But all these scandals about Pastors, I think these re devices which d devil is using to discourage pple from going to church to know God. Jesus said " those that will worship Him, must worship Him in spirit and in truth" ur pastors re not inclusive. Wise Christians should use wisdom in handling these kind of issues so that they don't bring judgement on themselves or better still move on with ur own salvation race. After all Salvation is a personal salvation.

esn1: Sad. Men please never give a promise when you wouldn't fulfill. There's so much violence in our country now. If you want to opt out of a relationship, let it b mutual, with understanding from both parties.

My dear, it's easier said, even wen u tell d ladies d obvious/good reasons y d rship should not continue, she ll still not want to see reasons wit d guys... Especially wen d guy is bn sincere.

LOVE is all that matters... So uncommon, shared by uncommon pple... Is not lust or selfishness.. Just so real and unconditional. U must nt be a millionaire/billionaire to show,it does not need advertisers rather itself is an advertisement.... This is so touching... God position me to always show love to those who can't pay me back...

dani1luv: DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FOREIGN ADVICE AND A NIGERIAN ADVICE

FOREIGN PAGE

Hello, My name is Sandra Stone, I'm from UK, I love my husband so much and I do anything to please him in bed..I go down on him but he has refused to reciprocate...please advice me how to tell him to go down on me cos i really want him that way.

COMMENTS:
John Silva: I think u need to talk to him, marriage is communication


Kerry Water: Oh my dear, sorry about that, i have been in your shoes before..i told him right away and he is an expert in it


Michael Paper: i get down with my wife, its cool I love doing it..u should talk to your husband

__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________

NIGERIAN PAGE
My name is Aminat, I stay In Abuja, married with a kid, my husband have refused to go down on me, what should I do...No insults abeg

COMMENTS:
Sule: First to comment, Space Booked!


Dayo Muyiwa: Fool, s.3.x na food?


Nkiru Joy: You are a disgrace to womanhood..SHAME on you.


Idris Kunle: Any news about ASUU Strike?


Toheeb Sule: If you want i go down on you, call my num. 070012345677878


Funmi: I no blame u at all, better go find something to do with ur life. suck kor, soak-away ni


Richard: Abeg who get bb charger?


Amaka: U be ashewo!! U need deliverance


Lynda: Sign of Endtime, Anti Christ among us, Please repent

Taofeek: Thunder fire u!! You a disgrace to womanhood!!


Source: http://www.yabaleftonline.com/2013/08/must-
read-difference-between-foreign.html

Lolzz.... U jst killed it... Tht's naija for u ooº°˚˚°ºº°˚˚˚°o. HYPOCRITES

Baba God I dey give u Twale! I troway salute for u! There is nothing too hard/big for u. I'm happy for them and I thank God for their zeal/faith to move on wit d ministry despite d challenges.

funtanherb: Where is the medical history of having no womb...Lie Lie

Y do u doubt? May God ve mercy on u. Instead of u rejoicing wit dem,u re here lukn 4 medical history.

Jungle justice d order of d day*(passing & singing)*....I sorry sorry o, I sorry 4 Africa, I sorry sorry o, I sorry 4 Nigeria.......(stops)..smh... Gradually gradually... We ll get there.

God pls help her. what is her offence? corps members are no longer safe o,in d north, south, west & east

Wats up wit dis ugly old woman na.... Na wa..@op, can u pls get busy wit some better tins...

Nccf Akwa ibom ikot ekpene zone was one of d best thing tht happened to me during my service year. It helped me build my life & faith. I got some good experiences and nice lessons of life too,I love d TRANSCO members 2013

Nccf is more than just a fellowship, it's a wonderful organization to belong to especially during nysc. Nccf love family ikot ekpene is a place to be. It's a place where u receive training & good treatments, u learn to live wit pple regardless of their social or geo-political background.

When is my model going to be ready?..... I knows many naija go don dey place order... Chai!!! Dis pple Sabi use our head ehn..@OP, how many times u don post Innoson motor model for here?

Rolling stones gathers no moist... I'm just passing..

So they didn't screen them before employing them. Lol... I laff in french.... People wen get certificate dey house while d ones wen no even get school cert. Sidon for office. Naija I hail thee.

When d head is bad d whole body is not @ rest. System is in mess. We re yet to get d final conclusion of d subsidy probes. Now dey re calling dem back. I can sense d power of d Cabal.

Nice move, wish u well in ur new level.

Missy_B: Nice photos save the last one. I love the black bag.

Why women D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣­̣̥ always talk like this?

to be candid, yes that's if true luv really between d two u. Love wil always find a way. But it takes courage sha o

I'm just passing.....
Am coming....

He is really doing well, apart from the pics here, I ve seen some of it physically. He has tried.