₦airaland Forum

midnighter:
Exactly! Thats what Im trying to tell you. The intention of a friend who you people just like yabbing each other is different from the intention of some busybody auntie or pokenose church elder. Thats exactly why it should affect the way youre seeing it, even if you think it was uncalled for.

From the "Yimmu" face the woman made I could see that she was just being silly to deflect from the emotional tone of the girlfriend.

Your analysis is coming from a place of sensitivity but you forget that the circumstances surrounding an event matter just as much as the event itself. Wondering "why that day?" "Why TODAY of all days" is what YOU would think and some other people standing there would think, not necessarily what those two people would think.



Yes, people may say that and it would be too bad.

It would have been better for her if she had never said it at all, because everything that happened on your wedding day will be remembered forever however it still depends on whether she is actually an arrogant person or if that was just a poorly-timed comment without any bad motivations behind it

The @emboldened would have been better anyway but people will always have some problem with you and what you say and nobody is perfect.

If she has noticed that people are complaining she can as well ask her friend if she was offended by her "joke" and seek her forgiveness to remove any curse from her marriage that she may have invoked on herself that day.

hmnnn.the bride needs to be 100 percent sure that that friend is not offended or took offense with that statement because na where enemity and unhealthy rivalry they start from be this o

After the wedding it's safe for her to go check on her friend and explain it because na laugh her friend laugh.you Don't know whether it's a friendly laughter or she's hiding behind a friendly laughter with evil intents.people are more dangerous than this and moreso it's not usually an open enemy that kills but an enemy pretending to be a friend and has stopped being your friend long ago without you noticing or realising it

Eyan ma'nwa ore kun ore, eyan okin wa ota kun ota nio

ijewejones:
Try watch the clip again..the reply came spontaneous oo. It's still reason I feel the outburst is a preconceived discussion between them

I have watched the video and when the bride said "no go find boyfriend" was she expecting her friend to start searching for 'boyfriend' in the party or what brought about that statement now?

Anyway please so back to my previous post and read the last paragraph

ijewejones:
That's the problem we have with people that's in the school of thought of saying things the way they are(bluntly).

The video is attracting mixed feelings because its out for public consumption. The ladies involved knows their selves very well to know what one can/can't say in public(bluntly).

I can't vouch for any of them because I can't really infer to why such statement was made either by preconceived discussion hence the wedding outburst & as well,the clip is out in public.

On the other hand did you notice somebody released the clip? Why did the person released such emotional clip? Is the person's reason to gather people's opinion or just to castigate?

That's reason I maintain the other part of the business is best inferred & left to the people involved

people upload anything controversial or out of the norm for likes and clout na.we all know this.same reason why the bride twerking on her husband's dick and giving him a lap dance went viral

If the bride was just a normal bride in which the friend said congratulations and she said thank you,it won't go viral.that aside


Knowing the relationships between the friends or not is immaterial, that statement is totally unnecessary and uncalled for.what happened to thank you and move on

Meanwhile if you just buy a Lamborghini or rolceroyce for example,you don't go everywhere saying I just got a new car that you cannot afford.you are exposing yourself to thieves,leeches and parasites who are eagerly waiting for your careless moments so they can pounce on the lambo you're using to do shakara.thats the illustration to the response of the bolded

midnighter:
Why I am somehow defending the lady is because I put myself in the friend's shoes and realised that she may not be as sensitive as I am.

How do we know that after the bride said "Go and get boyfriend", some jovial ladies wont quickly reply "Yeye, na you people go dash me na!" and forget about it? Some people dont read meaning into things like you or I may.

People are comparing it with a woman who is looking for pregnancy but you forget that the comment will only pain you IF you are looking for pregnancy or you are having some kind of problem. I have small small cousins who have randomly asked me why I dont have a baby yet; it does not do me anything because I am not CURRENTLY looking for a baby but another lady may rush and lock herself inside the bathroom and cry for hours just because of that random comment because the stuff is already bothering her.

We dont know these 2 ladies to know if the woman is satisfied with her singlehood or not so fruit of the womb stuff doesnt mean anything here.

Where you have a point is where you noticed that there were so many people around when she said it; I may not be offended by your comment itself but I may feel embarrassed that you said it in front of somebody else . That would be the painful or hurtful part of it



You are right that the type of society we are in dictates some kind of sensitivity when making certain statements in public.

Especially as a woman and as a bride, there are some certain characteristics you are expected to suppress in public so that people wont label you proud or arrogant.

You are right to remind people to be mindful of their utterances DUE TO the fact that people can read meaning into something you didnt say with bad intentions.

People can go home and stew about things for days and hours without you knowing. Like you said, some people apart from that friend may take it personally because of the stigma of being a single lady past a certain age

I just dont agree that the woman is necessarily being malicious or spiteful on purpose

lol the face (especially the eyes) exposes the motives or intents of a statement and why must the bride MAKE THAT KIND OF INSENSITIVE COMMENT THAT DAY? Why not other days why that day?

Then you telling me it won't pain her is a lie.why won't it pain her? Please tell me from 21 upwards no single Nigerian lady has not been hearing the Go and marry line at home,work,bank, church or mosque.then from her friend again? Face it and admit it,that statement was uncalled for whether or not she would take offense or not, whether that's how they've been throwing jabs at each other or not.

God forbid,how about after wedding the bride becomes unable to give birth or the husband looses his job or develops a strange sickness,don't you know all fingers will be pointed back to the bride with shoti rinisi.otifenukoba ara e.nobody will face the friend or stuff.even if the situation has nothing to do with the friend, everyone will be like see where your overtalk has landed you

Yorubas say that you don't make statements that will give your closet enemies the justification to say WE TOLD YOU SO ,you see am etc... after all the awws and hoos,why not just say thank you my friend,I will celebrate with you to or give her a hug and Keep it moving

peacettw:
While this may sound out of reach, I get the hidden message. She should be careful with her utterances. People have been known to do worse on much less.

exactly my point

midnighter:
You have some point but analysing it too deeply. How will you measure what you tell your adult friend based on being scared of their mother

I believe those two women understand their relationship; if you have watched the video you will see what I mean.

The friend was gushing about the bride. Some people dont know how to deal with compliments so they try to deflect from their emotions by becoming sarcastic.

As long as you know the kind of person you're talking to and youre able to gauge their response I dont think theres any need to worry. If you know the person is somehow sensitive then you will know not to make such a joke

you are right.i get your point.but if the bride said that during her bridal shower amongst her friends then it's ok but in PUBLIC? It's embarrassing na.its like joking with a woman looking for the fruit of the womb with pregnancy and now saying it's a joke.depending on how sensitive she is she might or might not take offense but why put yourself in that position?

I watched the video though and from the facial expression of the bride she was rubbing it in the face of her friend and the friend had to laugh it off.but let's be realistic,the girl will definitely go home and think about it and the friends who were there too will be gossiping around or saying the bride said this on her wedding day. the thing is.the girl might not feel anything but HOW ABOUT THE FRIENDS. Putting negative ideas into her head.im talking based on THE NATURE AND PECULIARITIES OF THE NIGERIAN SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT.HOW THEY INTERPRETE WEDDINGS AND STATEMENTS LIKE THIS

Culin:
Such a goofy bride, this is friendship goals. Quick recovery taking this video serious and calling the bride harsh. Infact quick recovery to the op for using such a senseless caption.

there's nothing goofy or playful about it.if she said that when it wasn't public or just amongst her friends its ok but in public where all manners of people are,it's rude... people need to be considerate of others feelings

It's like Mr a coming for Mrs b graduation party and Mr a says no go school without knowing or understanding the conditions that didn't make Mrs b go to school

Do you know whether she will feel comfortable for the rest of that party? How can a person come to a person's party with high spirit to rejoice with her and leave with sadness and bitterness.


The bride has just planted a seed of bitterness and discord and it says a lot about her

Do you think people will not be mindful of coming close to her after such statement? The elders say inu jin.the human heart is very deep.when you are happy there's a tendency to jam talk but just control it.she doesn't even know what she will meet in the marriage so wisdom is profitable abeg.

Clinghton:
people don't learn don't be harsh on people when things are moving smoothly for you, she might end up being divorced and her friend getting married to a better man.

exactly.what happens to thanks.i will celebrate with you too.

When people rejoice with you,make them feel good with encouraging words like thank you, I'm definitely coming for your own wedding too etc

I doubt that the girl will be happy for the rest of that day or even be able to eat there or catch the bouquet.

ijewejones:
You ain't far from the truth bro. Some of the videos shown or we watch doesn't tell some of the people's relationship with each other but one can only infer..I would say the rest is left to them

if she made that statement during her bridal shower then it's ok, people will even understand it as a friendly banter but to make this statement in public? Noo na

It's like telling a person who is unemployed and still searching for a job when he came to greet you at your place of work or office party and say "you no go go find work" as if he doesn't know he has done that already

In this life the most dangerous thing is having an enemy so close to e who you think is still your friend.obviously the babe will still be smiling at her but that Will be the end of their friendship and depending on the type of person she is,she might take it offensive

No be everything you suppose say outside.people should stop using their mouths to expose themselves or what they hold dear.

Some people will marry and after wedding, strange strange sickness will start for them .moreso Yorubas say iku pa opolo tonrin, anbeletase eyi ton jorae mole

When you are happy or angry,be mindful of what you say because your words can reach and surpass where your legs can't reach

Imagine the girl gets home and tells the mother jokingly ABOUT how the wedding went and she didn't mean it in a bad light but the mother took offense (knowing how emotional African mothers can be) what if the girl is not offended and the mother of the girl is nko?

People need to think deeply and not let the emotional blues make you say what will implicate your future.this is Africa and this terrain is dangerous and volatile.every environment has its own dangers but here talking anyhow is dangerous

MrBrownJay1:
i didnt even focus on the prostrate part.... so long as the father is against the dude then prostrating wont change anything about the issue. the father wants a divorce, so it is clear that the babe should make a decision and stand by it..... daddy or hubby, et voila.

forget dobale here, its a waste of time lowering yourself to a person who dont see any value in you.

I don't think so.instead of pitching the husband against her dad or putting her in a position to choose one,why not make them bffs

If she applies wisdom in doing that,she can eat her cake and have it

ijewejones:
The sanctimonious ones will come with different opinions but whether playful or otherwise..the lady said the

it's an extremely insensitive comment or statement from the bride.someone came all the way to rejoice with you and all you could do was make disrespectful comments

It's the same women that throw rude jabs on women who are yet to have children.the bride had better pray that the friend is not a fetish type or people that like over thinking things or going to the extreme of getting back at others

The bride needs wisdom in knowing where,how and when to make certain comments

Bluntguy:
Sound advice. Who knows how many guys' toastings she has rejected. You can never make omelette without breaking eggs

in getting wisdom get understanding.this is Africa.in trying to advise someone you don't rub it in their faces.yorubas you don't count fingers in the presence of those who don't have fingers.

When village people tie her womb now,she will be going from prophet to prophet.

jakandeola:
u don dey tell PPLE congtat for how many years now. I pray next year is ur year so DIS frustration u keep showing in nairaland evryday will end.

lmaooo you go stalk me taya o

This wan wey you dey stalk me,e be like say my last post to you pain you well o

Pele.you go dey alright last last

Meanwhile you've not still learnt how to spell properly.OK I'll be BENEVOLENT enough to teach you. as you clearly lack enlightenment

This is spelt "THIS"
People is spelt "PEOPLE" not PPLE

I have taught you how to spell YOUR.seems your brain is too retarded to pick words.you had better buy brighter grammar for primary 3pupils

MrBrownJay1:
ARRANT NONSENSE!!!!!
the minute the father said that you guys should cancel the marriage and/or said the negative things about you bla bla bla, thats the moment you should have turned to your wifey and tell her to take a decision.... be with you and to hell with her negative parents OR let her go to her parents and divorce her. basta!

why would you even want to be around a man who has NO RESPECT for you or the relationship you have with his daughter?!?! what kind of woman would even want you to be around this disrespectful man?!?!

you will never win with such mad parents, and should only give respect where respect is due and vice versa.

its a tradition amongst yorubas to not only prostrate and greet their inlaws but to rever them.everything is not oyinbo style.abi he wan dey shake hands with his father in-law?

Yorubas say Oro Lana...prostrating will not take anything from him.he should do it for peace to reign.the father in-law isn't asking for too much.

Congratulations baby

LOVEGINO:
buhari I just found one of ur missing cow

Awwww it takes one to know one

LOVEGINO:
poverty why

foolishness why?

LOVEGINO:
amen but Abeg reduce d bad belle

and reduce getting into my mention.now swerve!

Ekorire o


Any other information?

Easyman10:
whats Wrong With This Guy Nw?Are U Built To Just Beef Naturally?U Wey Don Grow Wetin B Ur Gain?Na Ur Own Mama 4 Sign On Him

who dey beef? I no beef bill gates ABI alakija na dancer lasan lasan I go beef.kilowalara e tan beef?

erico2k2:
STOP HATING

you mean a lipstick wearing boy?

jakandeola:
going about fighting evrybidy is sign of frustration wich day u go get swnce? if u no see hubby marry den u no see who to fucck too. cos na lack of sex dey do u for body.

you again?

Jakandeoloribu you have Still not improved in your spelling and writing?

Secondly I want to ask..no there's no need for asking.you seem to be a perv.you don't know more than fok,sex,fok...it definitely appears that's the only thing that brings you fulfilment and makes you feel like a man

Ok since that's the only thing that makes this shallow brain of yours come to life,let me send some girls for you to choose from maybe by then your brain will function a little

iamanswer:
Ode

Lawon area ile e

Myhusband:
[s][/s]



which opinion is lousy than a jobless entity that's bent on venting her frustration on someone that's not responsible for his predicament


dumb people every where

e pain am

LOVEGINO:
I just pray u make 2020.

I will make it beyond 2020 and anybody wey dey think evil will use his head and carry the evil

Thank God the power of life and death is not in your hands,hobiiii, shame

Myhusband:
[s][/s]


not in the class of those you can use to learn words here. you obviously lack common sense hence the needless note on someone you don't know

yen yen yen yen yen


And that's why you had to carry your smelling self with your lousy opinion into my mention.now for the last time, swerve

Eri nkan na

Myhusband:
[s][/s]


you're frustrated

is that all?


Anyway you've been noticed.Oya swerve

She should call her parents na


The fight didn't start today.she should have envisaged this kind of situation.well I know she will bounce back sha

This man and unnecessary problem

Seems he's always angry when there's peace

Enemy of peace

[quote author=Ilovebigboobs post=85032029][/quote]tinba raeniko lori