₦airaland Forum

Vigorous V: Dan i hav a sugestion.i dnt tink it wud b heeded bt as i said its a sugestion.i tink Ola shud b at d front wit d remainin 4 bhind her.she shud b wit d moon stone yl d odas shud b wit dier weapons.i ope i am helpful o

lola800: Yet to finish the story but can't wait for the printed book and already dreaming of all the awards it will win
So when is the hardcopy coming out?before you know it will be made into a movie ,winning lots of awards
I'll love to help you market your products..both hard and softcopy...patiently waiting
kudos once again

Nd kings: All i can say is tank u!

lola800: I just hope I am doing this right(I am new here and dont really know how to make comments) .
I joined nairaland because of this book.I must say ,it is very captivating and interestin and the fact that it is coming from a Nigerian makes me all the more happy.
Dan kudos.You are doing a pretty good job.You will make a very good writer...the likes of J.K Rowlings,F.Rivers,T.Dekker and the rest.
Also the fact that it is an Nigerian story(depicting our culture ,names,way of life) makes it even better.Dan you are good!
oya back to the marra(in wizkids voice ) my best character is Nene.I think because in a way she reminds me of me.The fact that she is buxom and although she may be a little uncomfortable at times she is still confident.
Then Ikem coz he seems like a cute lovable one....Ola and the Prince are nice also but I guess I'm not so fascinated about them cause there lots of such characters in films and novels
Dan once again kudos...I really hope the complete story is here or I'm going to scream

Gen2jaynee: nice one dan, am loving it

sampeke: 9z work, @ Dan

PrinceAdepoju:

Oops! i've gat a new Boss. infact, I know not what to say...you're crase__ah! sorry, i mean--YOU'RE GREAT!, walahi talai!

Usjimy: Wow!!! I've bn under the spell cast by this write-up. Atlast I overcame. I wish I didn't tho
Nice work Dan!
Wishing you all the best in your future endeavours.

chade: pls is azuma {onyema's mother} also a moon maiden,kinda confuse

PrinceAdepoju: wow!

Sexy Sapphire: Gosh!!! This is such a masterpiece. Wow!!! I'm really impressed with this great work of art. I've been reading since yesterday and couldn't stop( I almost forgot to sleep)
This is one of the best stories I've read in my life. Danwrites, you're one hell of a terrific writer. I wish you all the very best in your endeavors.

Me likey some Boju for myself, very funny character. Will keep waiting for the continuation, and I really hope I can get a copy of the book when it comes out. Good luck Danwrites.

Adek15: this writer nids a nobel prize in literature cos i dnt tink a story can b beta than this. @op i'm sure u have watched/read/heard about legend of d seker/sword of truth.. Ola reminds me of mother confessor, d godess is d creater yl akwalu(nt sure öf d name) is d keeper yl d sisters are sistaz of d light and sistaz of d dark is ... Infact believe me u r beta than terry goodking(u knw him?) cos this is our own (african) literature

Adek15: i want 2 sugest d picture that 'l b drawn on d cover. Let it b d picture of that forest where d sistas were dresd in white and all bowing 2 ola and nene standing beside her amazed. OMG, itz 4:30am already. Never knew i can read for lyk 6 hrs @a stretch

chade: pls is azuma {onyema's mother} also a moon maiden,kinda confuse

Udeme288: Its not easy for a writer to create suspense nd sustain it till the end, thats the more reason the writer deserves more praise. ah won't lie, i felt chills in my spine n some of the scenes,great work Dan.

goldwaters: I'm happy I saw this after its completion.
WOW! WOW!! WOW!!! Wonderful is all I can say.

jey4all: The story Long die. So many suspense I am so tired now

bigoduni: ajulu is gone for gud joor, oya gimme d HUGS..
neva knew d story wud continue,.. saw our thread on FP and i was like, ds is a dream come true, a honour well dserved,..
thumbs up bro...
i pray d editor does a gud job,..
pls giv d cover page a WOW graphic dsign dt wud perfectly fit this OUR STORY

Vigorous V: *rushes in wit a smile on ha face*
Heey Dan am bck o.congrats,ur story is on f.p...u said ur buk wud sun b on print please wen it cums out pls notify me first cos i wanna b d first person 2 buy it.....cos am sur it wud b WOW.....bt jst knw u owe us a continuatn sha bt since u said it wud take tym am wilin 2 wait......

bigoduni: hey dan, am jealous of v.v and angry wt u,. nwoke, i also desrve a tight hug na

chade: Screaming wowwww,dan u d best

I love ur patience n persistence even wen d comments n encouragement wasnt forthcoming. Tnx to V.v

so many emotions i cry especialy wen ikenna died nd laughed at boju's character

In all,u r just tew much #blows him a kiss mmuah.......grins# u derserve much more

Johnson Emma: pls when are we going to get the remaining part of the story!

Udeme288: oga Dan, what's holding d continuation nan ah no fit wait o

omotenah: WOW! plz update o

Udeme288: oga Dan, what's holding d continuation nan ah no fit wait o

adisa204: You are simply the best.Though there is a bit of similarity with the quest and that of legend of seeker.(when authur needed magic and strength )to acvpany him.But I like the twist in your story.All I can say is there is no better way of starting 2014 on naira land literature section than reading this masterpiece..........

Lerrie John: @ everyone to me Boju looked more like the goblin in Harry Potter (Dobby) than Smeegol.

Pororo: A lovely story. Thank u so much for the complete masterpiece. Enthralling until the very end. . .
well done.

Savigne: I'm speechless nd without mincing words,I gotta say that you are one writer Chinua Achebe would have loved to meet...
Its an honor to have read this absolutely mind-blowing piece,cuz I know someday I'll be seeing you on tv bagging literary awards...
I look forward to reading more of ur stories..

cheruv: Let's hold a minute silence for Nnaa and Ikenna..the casualities of the story
Frankly speaking to you guys,I enjoyed Ikenna's character.I can't help but imagine aww bicepic his arms could be together with an increase in number of girls here who wish for those hands to hold them

cheruv: Lemme offer you my greetings the Chinese style[no mind me shaa na 3 kingdoms(sweet chinese film) wey dey watch cause am]
**kneels before dan,bows his head to the ground and forms an arc with his hands*
我的主(my oga),am overwhelmed with the talents you displayed in your piece of art,the style the plot the setting...all was just too fitting and picturesque.after achebe,I thought our land has been forgotten but you've showed that you've achebe's spirit living in you....
Pls accept my greetings and achieve your ambitions on an international scale
***Rises

Guy abeg forget that Chin chon ho greeting kos me no sabi kpakam for Sin(china)

But me sabi witchkraft wella.....abeg start part 2 sharperly before me use you do practice

Lerrie John: Dear Dan
The first thing I couldn't envision properly is the division of the kingdom. I understood it was made up of several villages of which Oji, Abo, Udah and Iseke. What is not clear is the distance between these places. For instance, Ola and her family lived in Oji. How far is Oji from the palace? From your narration it seems very close as Nene ran several times to the palace or training field of the prince. Even the children came singing and pleading to Ola and they all left for the festival which held in Efu's shrine and therefore, close to the palace. Wouldn't it have been better they lived in the same village but she lived like downtown?
The second question is when they travelled to search for Okala with Ekuku they made it in one day even though Okala wasn't in the next village. If Ekuku walked as slow as a tortoise that journey must have been strenuous for her to make a return the same day as they arrived in the early evening.
Or what do you think?

Lerrie John: The language in the plot was ok until you got to the gatekeeper to Uwoma forest. I found the language there went a bit off-line. It went more European than African. For example, when the short old man says:
"“And what shall I call thee, tall lad?” "
I find thee and lad a bit off line. You could use "you" to replace "thee" and "boy" to replace "lad".
You could as well phrase the question in a different manner of speech to represent the old tongue if you feel it's too plain.
Hope you don't mind? They are just my observations and do not take away any credit as your book is really a smash.

Lerrie John: Still on use of words. Azu was carrying a sword on him. I can barely envision a sword in the African setting. If he carried a knife (maybe carved) that would make more sense in this particular setting.
Ola was addressed as "Mistress" in Uwoma forest. There's something about mistress that doesn't quite suit. Sweet or fair maiden perhaps or something much better ( I'm sure you can come up with one) will be ideal. Don't you think so?

Lerrie John: Enough with my observations I'm getting bored of my self too. **yawns heavily**
Mind blowing, well plotted story. Totally captivating from beginning to end. Would willingly buy a copy as soon as it's edited.
@ everyone to me Boju looked more like the goblin in Harry Potter (Dobby) than Smeegol.

Abbeyunique2: You make me remember only one author his name is Rick rodan . Keep it up. Wanna know if u are an undergraduate

omotoyiwa: Dats nice,more pls

dedarkman: I must say I spent my whole on bed ,not going to church not that I am proud of it.i am not a fan of reading novels and story but I will say you are really very to have got my attention.you are very good keep up the good work.
Dan you are good

Lerrie John: Dear Dan, I must commend you on a finely plotted piece of art so far. I came across your post this afternoon n I have been wonderfully captivated as the events unfold. Pity I didn't see this post when you started. I have one or two critics for now but will be saving them for the end. I love reading and I read books from authors with strong captivating characters, the like of Stephen king and Dan Brown and so far you have not bored me with your plot.
So far my best character ( only because I haven't seen a flaw yet) is Nene. The rest of the characters are all beautiful though.
Would love to write more but I have to get back reading. I'm only on page 3 and still have a lot to cover...will fill you in on my opinion gradually...

cheruv: смегол(smegol) hates nasty hobbituses

vandac: nice one, its quite intrestingnd intriguing but i tink some of d names looks or beta still sounds like yoruba names or western names, plz try nd work on dem.

pius15: This is awesome,i can't wait to read the next chapter. Don't keep me waiting please

jugbada: Wow a 9c 1 pls keep it up

cherriex: Wow Dan u got me real good beautiful work I must say,I read the whole story picturing every scene as if iam there,saw it lastnight and am already through patiently waitin for ur next tale.it was fast because I made it easier by openin each page nd saving for ofline readin thereby saving my Mb.keep it up,I wish ders a hard copy to keep for my future kids.

white mosquito: Ok Dan, this is a nice one. But my first ish is with the title. Is it the moon that is young or the maiden? Cos if its the maiden, we all know maidens are young so there rili is no point in repeating young/maiden. If its the moon, well.... It cant be the moon, can it? Really, OLA- THE MOON MAIDEN sounds better. That having been said, I LOVE the simplicity with which you tell the story, I can already imagine the village scenes, and Iv never been to one.

jugbada: Wow a 9c 1 pls keep it up