Lemme offer you my greetings the Chinese style[no mind me shaa na 3 kingdoms(sweet chinese film) wey dey watch cause am]
**kneels before dan,bows his head to the ground and forms an arc with his hands*

我的主(my oga),am overwhelmed with the talents you displayed in your piece of art,the style the plot the setting...all was just too fitting and picturesque.after achebe,I thought our land has been forgotten but you've showed that you've achebe's spirit living in you....
Pls accept my greetings and achieve your ambitions on an international scale
***Rises











Guy abeg forget that Chin chon ho greeting kos me no sabi kpakam for Sin(china)



But me sabi witchkraft wella.....abeg start part 2 sharperly before me use you do practice

Abbeyunique2: You make me remember only one author his name is Rick rodan . Keep it up. Wanna know if u are an undergraduate

Thanks Abbey. No, I'm a graduate.

Lerrie John: Dear Dan
The first thing I couldn't envision properly is the division of the kingdom. I understood it was made up of several villages of which Oji, Abo, Udah and Iseke. What is not clear is the distance between these places. For instance, Ola and her family lived in Oji. How far is Oji from the palace? From your narration it seems very close as Nene ran several times to the palace or training field of the prince. Even the children came singing and pleading to Ola and they all left for the festival which held in Efu's shrine and therefore, close to the palace. Wouldn't it have been better they lived in the same village but she lived like downtown?
The second question is when they travelled to search for Okala with Ekuku they made it in one day even though Okala wasn't in the next village. If Ekuku walked as slow as a tortoise that journey must have been strenuous for her to make a return the same day as they arrived in the early evening.
Or what do you think?

Thanks for this John. You know like in a typical Igbo community, the villages are small and the distance between them not that long. Though some villages were relatively farther than others as explained in the story.
Ekuku left with the girls for Abo very early in the morning and arrived in the evening. In my town, I can easily walk two villages in like two hours.
Nothing more was said about the time they returned, only it was dark when they left Okala's place.

Lerrie John: The language in the plot was ok until you got to the gatekeeper to Uwoma forest. I found the language there went a bit off-line. It went more European than African. For example, when the short old man says:
"“And what shall I call thee, tall lad?” "
I find thee and lad a bit off line. You could use "you" to replace "thee" and "boy" to replace "lad".
You could as well phrase the question in a different manner of speech to represent the old tongue if you feel it's too plain.
Hope you don't mind? They are just my observations and do not take away any credit as your book is really a smash.

Of course, I don't mind, this is the main reason I put up my story here. And many thanks.
Well, the sense is that Nhi spoke in an old tongue. That was all I tried to portray.

Lerrie John: Still on use of words. Azu was carrying a sword on him. I can barely envision a sword in the African setting. If he carried a knife (maybe carved) that would make more sense in this particular setting.
Ola was addressed as "Mistress" in Uwoma forest. There's something about mistress that doesn't quite suit. Sweet or fair maiden perhaps or something much better ( I'm sure you can come up with one) will be ideal. Don't you think so?

We have old African swords too. Yes, they are not smooth and shiny, but they are swords, sword-like.
I can't say anything about 'mistress'.

Lerrie John: Enough with my observations I'm getting bored of my self too. **yawns heavily**
Mind blowing, well plotted story. Totally captivating from beginning to end. Would willingly buy a copy as soon as it's edited.
@ everyone to me Boju looked more like the goblin in Harry Potter (Dobby) than Smeegol.

Thanks Lerrie. I appreciate.

cheruv:
Let's hold a minute silence for Nnaa and Ikenna..the casualities of the story
Frankly speaking to you guys,I enjoyed Ikenna's character.I can't help but imagine aww bicepic his arms could be together with an increase in number of girls here who wish for those hands to hold them

Observed.

cheruv: Lemme offer you my greetings the Chinese style[no mind me shaa na 3 kingdoms(sweet chinese film) wey dey watch cause am]
**kneels before dan,bows his head to the ground and forms an arc with his hands*
我的主(my oga),am overwhelmed with the talents you displayed in your piece of art,the style the plot the setting...all was just too fitting and picturesque.after achebe,I thought our land has been forgotten but you've showed that you've achebe's spirit living in you....
Pls accept my greetings and achieve your ambitions on an international scale
***Rises

Guy abeg forget that Chin chon ho greeting kos me no sabi kpakam for Sin(china)

But me sabi witchkraft wella.....abeg start part 2 sharperly before me use you do practice

You are hilarious guy. Thanks a lot.

.

I'm speechless nd without mincing words,I gotta say that you are one writer Chinua Achebe would have loved to meet...
Its an honor to have read this absolutely mind-blowing piece,cuz I know someday I'll be seeing you on tv bagging literary awards...
I look forward to reading more of ur stories..

Savigne: I'm speechless nd without mincing words,I gotta say that you are one writer Chinua Achebe would have loved to meet...
Its an honor to have read this absolutely mind-blowing piece,cuz I know someday I'll be seeing you on tv bagging literary awards...
I look forward to reading more of ur stories..

I'm honoured. Thanks Savigne

A lovely story. Thank u so much for the complete masterpiece. Enthrall ing until the very end. . .
well done.

Lerrie John:
@ everyone to me Boju looked more like the goblin in Harry Potter (Dobby) than Smeegol.

So true.

Pororo: A lovely story. Thank u so much for the complete masterpiece. Enthralling until the very end. . .
well done.

Thanks Pororo...***big hug

You are simply the best.Though there is a bit of similarity with the quest and that of legend of seeker.(when authur needed magic and strength )to acvpany him.But I like the twist in your story.All I can say is there is no better way of starting 2014 on naira land literature section than reading this masterpiece..........

adisa204: You are simply the best.Though there is a bit of similarity with the quest and that of legend of seeker.(when authur needed magic and strength )to acvpany him.But I like the twist in your story.All I can say is there is no better way of starting 2014 on naira land literature section than reading this masterpiece..........

Glad you enjoyed it...Adisa

oga Dan, what's holding d continuation nan ah no fit wait o

WOW! plz update o

pls when are we going to get the remaining part of the story!

Johnson Emma: pls when are we going to get the remaining part of the story!

Udeme288: oga Dan, what's holding d continuation nan ah no fit wait o

omotenah: WOW! plz update o

Udeme288: oga Dan, what's holding d continuation nan ah no fit wait o

Wow...glad with you guys' desire for the continuation. But OLA II: The Battle of Gods is still in its first draft.
I'd like to go over it at least the third time before uploading. It was much easier when I was in school.

Good news is I got an editor for Ola: The Tale of a Young Moon Maiden today. Damn, these people can charge. I only pray she does a thorough job at the end. She said she'll be ready in like 3 wks which sounds nice, that means within a month, Ola is likely to b in print.
Please your opinions and suggestions are welcomed.

Please new readers endeavor to comment and present your observations.
THANKS.

Screaming wowwww,dan u d best

I love ur patience n persistence even wen d comments n encouragement wasnt forthcoming. Tnx to V.v

so many emotions i cry especialy wen ikenna died nd laughed at boju's character

In all,u r just tew much #blows him a kiss mmuah.......grins# u derserve much more

chade: Screaming wowwww,dan u d best

I love ur patience n persistence even wen d comments n encouragement wasnt forthcoming. Tnx to V.v

so many emotions i cry especialy wen ikenna died nd laughed at boju's character

In all,u r just tew much #blows him a kiss mmuah.......grins# u derserve much more

**hugs her tight** Thanks Chade.

DanWrites:

**hugs her tight** Thanks Chade.

hey dan, am jealous of v.v and angry wt u,. nwoke, i also desrve a tight hug na

bigoduni:
hey dan, am jealous of v.v and angry wt u,. nwoke, i also desrve a tight hug na

Sure you do. ***spreads arms for a hug Ajulu appears***double pair of rubber flip-flops were seen flying in the air.

The story Long die. So many suspense I am so tired now

jey4all: The story Long die. So many suspense I am so tired now

Its not easy for a writer to create suspense nd sustain it till the end, thats the more reason the writer deserves more praise. ah won't lie, i felt chills in my spine n some of the scenes,great work Dan.

DanWrites:

Sure you do. ***spreads arms for a hug Ajulu appears***double pair of rubber flip-flops were seen flying in the air.

ajulu is gone for gud joor, oya gimme d HUGS..
neva knew d story wud continue,.. saw our thread on FP and i was like, ds is a dream come true, a honour well dserved,..
thumbs up bro...
i pray d editor does a gud job,..
pls giv d cover page a WOW graphic dsign dt wud perfectly fit this OUR STORY

I'm happy I saw this after its completion.
WOW! WOW!! WOW!!! Wonderful is all I can say.

*rushes in wit a smile on ha face*
Heey Dan am bck o.congrats,ur story is on f.p...u said ur buk wud sun b on print please wen it cums out pls notify me first cos i wanna b d first person 2 buy it.....cos am sur it wud b WOW.....bt jst knw u owe us a continuatn sha bt since u said it wud take tym am wilin 2 wait......

Vigorous V: *rushes in wit a smile on ha face*
Heey Dan am bck o.congrats,ur story is on f.p...u said ur buk wud sun b on print please wen it cums out pls notify me first cos i wanna b d first person 2 buy it.....cos am sur it wud b WOW.....bt jst knw u owe us a continuatn sha bt since u said it wud take tym am wilin 2 wait......

Hey VV...where have you been o!
Abeg prepare your reviews o cuz all of you will be featured in the book.
Will keep everybody updated sha.

bigoduni:

ajulu is gone for gud joor, oya gimme d HUGS..
neva knew d story wud continue,.. saw our thread on FP and i was like, ds is a dream come true, a honour well dserved,..
thumbs up bro...
i pray d editor does a gud job,..
pls giv d cover page a WOW graphic dsign dt wud perfectly fit this OUR STORY

You know bigo...you are one of the ppl that made it happen. Thankz bro.
A colleague here is handling the cover page design. He read d book so I'm sure he'll do a nice job.

Udeme288:
Its not easy for a writer to create suspense nd sustain it till the end, thats the more reason the writer deserves more praise. ah won't lie, i felt chills in my spine n some of the scenes,great work Dan.

The story scared me too. Remember one night I was alone in the room, rereading, when a bird flew past the window. I nearly jumped.

goldwaters: I'm happy I saw this after its completion.
WOW! WOW!! WOW!!! Wonderful is all I can say.

Thanks goldwaters...

jey4all: The story Long die. So many suspense I am so tired now

Hahahaha.

DanWrites:

**hugs her tight** Thanks Chade.

..u welcum sir

pls is azuma {onyema's mother} also a moon maiden,kinda confuse

chade:
pls is azuma {onyema's mother} also a moon maiden,kinda confuse

Someone pls answer this question for me...

this writer nids a nobel prize in literature cos i dnt tink a story can b beta than this. @op i'm sure u have watched/read/heard about legend of d seker/sword of truth.. Ola reminds me of mother confessor, d godess is d creater yl akwalu(nt sure öf d name) is d keeper yl d sisters are sistaz of d light and sistaz of d dark is ... Infact believe me u r beta than terry goodking(u knw him?) cos this is our own (african) literature

i want 2 sugest d picture that 'l b drawn on d cover. Let it b d picture of that forest where d sistas were dresd in white and all bowing 2 ola and nene standing beside her amazed. OMG, itz 4:30am already. Never knew i can read for lyk 6 hrs @a stretch