₦airaland Forum

*08061201212*

Good development sai Baba

Yea I agree with Mr joda but let's her go her way to allow this present economic team try their best because I still have confidence in them.

May the almighty God bring this to an end.

I slapped a soldier.... And he ran away.
That's how I knew he was fake.
Please let's join hands and expose the fake
soldiers in town.
How?
By Slapping any Soldier you come across before
d week runs out.
If he runs, then he is fake. If he doesn't run, the
Lord is your strength. Let's go!
Guys we need to save this country by ourselves...

If you can recall the way she dressed in USA wearing coat and skirt baba was not happy that's why he ask her to remain indoor to serve as a lesson.

*MARRIAGE SOFTWARE....*

I laughed after reading this, think I should share the humour.

To
Systems Analyst -
(Marriage Software Div);

Dear Systems Analyst,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.

In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected.

Attempting to operate selected "Soccer 6.3" always fails and "Shopping 7.1" runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.
.
I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?

.... The Systems Analyst replied:

Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program.

Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.

Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See Manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can.

When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the.........
C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 6.0" or "TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 10.0" or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if Child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.

BEST WISHES!

Yours,"
Systems Analyst.

Prof Soyinka don't accept any self fish interest condition to the federal government

Thank you sir for this update

SECOND WIFE

“Second wife! The words reverberated through my brain. Why? Am I not good enough? Never! I will never accept a second wife! If you want a second wife you can go out and get one as long as you know that I will not be here when you come back!

Those were my words to my husband a few years ago when he mentioned to me that he is intending to marry again a second time. It was a woman recently divorced, 4 children. She is having a hard time, he said, she don’t know where the next meal is coming from or how to provide adequately for her children. “Where is their father?” I asked, “Can’t he take care of his own kids? Why do you a strange man have to carry another man’s burden? Surely there are other ways that you can help her out financially without having to MARRY her!

I could not imagine myself in a plural marriage. Sharing my husband with another woman. Sharing his love, his smiles, his jokes with a woman other than myself. I could not fathom him holding her close and whispering loving words in her ears. It was unacceptable. An outrage. After all I have been to him. Wife, lover, mother, doctor, housekeeper. I raised 3 of his beautiful children. How can he insult me by marrying another woman as if I am not good enough? Not pretty enough. Not young enough or just plain not ENOUGH!

NO! I could not accept that and I vehemently made my stance clear to him. If she walks in, I walk out! Plain and simple. If he is willing to risk our marriage, our life, our children for another woman, then he must go ahead. I will not stand for it!

It all seems so many years ago now. When I thought that life would last forever and that nothing will ever change. But it did….

My husband did not get married to a second wife. After all my warnings and threats of leaving he abandoned the idea. I don’t know what happened to the women and children. My guess is that they moved on to another town.

He never mentioned a second wife again and I was happy with that. I managed to hang on to my husband but I didn’t know that our time was running out.

His last words to me were that he had a headache and is going to lie down till Esha. He never read Esha namaaz that night, because he never woke up.

I was devastated by his sudden death. The man whom I have spent my life with, snatched away from me in a second. I mourned him for a long, long time. Neglecting my children and the business. Soon all went to waste and we started losing everything one by one. First the car then the shop, then the house.

We moved in with my brother and his family. My 3 children and I crowded the house and my sister in law soon became annoyed by our presence. I needed to get out, to work and find a place of our own instead of living off the leftovers of others. But I had no skill.

When my husband was alive we lived comfortably. I had no need to go out and work or equip myself with a skill. Life was very difficult for me and my children and I wasn’t young anymore. I missed him every day with every beat of my heart. How could one’s condition change so drastically?

One day my brother told me that someone he knew is looking for a wife. He was a good person, good akhlaq and very pious. Perfect for me, but he wants me to be his second wife.

It’s the second time in my life that the word second wife was mentioned to me. But how different the circumstances.

He came to my brother’s house to see me. There was an immediate connection between us. I liked him and I liked everything about him. He told me that his first wife knows that he is intending to marry again but that she is obviously not supportive of the idea and that he doesn’t know what her reaction will be when he tells her that he had found someone. His answer he said, will be dependent on her acceptance of Polygamy.

I started praying Istikhara that night. I so desperately wanted it to work out. I remembered so many years ago when the life of another woman depended on my decision and what my decision was. I felt

Sai Baba, you have saved the country from sinking. Glory be to God

It's a good development but all govt vehicles (senators, reps, governors etc,) Infact all convoys should installed first before any commercial vehicles. The way these convoys are over speeding is unbearable, therefore FRSC should not enforce it on the masses. Also the price should be low in order to be purchase.

Me wey I dey wait for aptitude test , indefinitely indeed.

Baba has said it all. Depend your action Mr speaker.

usmany790@gmail.com thank you sir

Sai my Buhari, keep it up my presidor

You go no love when someone like Lara come say I love you, not Lara now cos na Papa oshi's wife

The sighting of the moon was Inconclusive
-INEC

The sighting of the moon has been adjourned till tomorrow
-Abuja High Court

The sighting of the moon was not altered, a committee will be set-up to be headed by Sen. David Mark (Chairman Senate committee on Observation)
-Senate

The moon has already been sighted tomorrow
-Lai Mohammed

The anomally in the crescentic illumna of the moon in the atmospheric galaxy is tantamount to more crinkum crankum & hoola-baloo
-Patrick Obahiagbon

The APC was the cause of the moon not sighted in Nigeria
-Fayose

We will create another moon for Nigerians
-APC

Due to none sighting of the Moon, the Board of the Ulamas has been dissolved.
-Presidency

We will blew up the moon and we will blow up more moons
-NDA

We are responsible for the absence of the moon in the sky
-Boko Haram

Those responsible for the missing moon will soon be apprehended and charged accordingly. We have evidence.
-EFCC

We dont want to sight the Moon
-Brexit

We know where the moon is but we dont want to say.
-US

Abeg add your own I don taya!

*******Vulcanizers in Nigeria are killing people****

IMPORTANT INFORMATION TO ALL VEHICLE USERS!

Good evening everyone. Many people have been wondering what could be the cause of the incessant tyre burst accidents on Nigerian roads. The major cause is that we put to much pressure in our tyres. How did I know?

I was preparing for a journey, I changed some of my tyres and I asked the vulcanizer that ' what is the recommended tyre pressure? ' He said 50. I said alright, he should inflate it to 50 all round.

When I got to where I was going, I was discussing with some ppl on the issue of the minister that died on the road due to a burst tyre and wonder what could have happened because nobody could imagine a minister would be travelling with expired tyres as many would think is the major cause of tyre burst.

A man ( lived in US for many years ) said that the major cause of tyre burst in Nigeria is that we put to much pressure in our tyres and that each car has recommended tyre size and pressure clearly written on it by the manufacturer. I was surprised and begged him to come and show me where it's written on my car. To my greatest surprise, it's by the drivers door which I enter everyday without noticing it. By the time we checked, the recommended pressure for my tyres is 32! and I just traveled with tyres on a pressure of 50! He took me round his compound and showed me that of the cars (which includes a jeep and a sienna) there, the highest was 32. some were even 29!

He further explained that tyres are made of rubber and expands at high temperature. So, when yu are travelling in the afternoon when the asphalt on the road is hot, the tyre will want to expand. If the pressure in the tyre is to much and wouldn't accommodate the expansion, a burst is likely to happen at that time.

Pls check the recommended tyre pressure for your vehicle and others you know.

As many as possible Nigerians needs to read this.
thanks.

*******Vulcanizers in Nigeria are killing people****

IMPORTANT INFORMATION TO ALL VEHICLE USERS!

Good morning everyone. Many people have been wondering what could be the cause of the incessant tyre burst accidents on Nigerian roads. The major cause is that we put to much pressure in our tyres. How did I know?

I was preparing for a journey, I changed some of my tyres and I asked the vulcanizer that ' what is the recommended tyre pressure? ' He said 50. I said alright, he should inflate it to 50 all round.

When I got to where I was going, I was discussing with some ppl on the issue of the minister that died on the road due to a burst tyre and wonder what could have happened because nobody could imagine a minister would be travelling with expired tyres as many would think is the major cause of tyre burst.

A man ( lived in US for many years ) said that the major cause of tyre burst in Nigeria is that we put to much pressure in our tyres and that each car has recommended tyre size and pressure clearly written on it by the manufacturer. I was surprised and begged him to come and show me where it's written on my car. To my greatest surprise, it's by the drivers door which I enter everyday without noticing it. By the time we checked, the recommended pressure for my tyres is 32! and I just traveled with tyres on a pressure of 50! He took me round his compound and showed me that of the cars (which includes a jeep and a sienna) there, the highest was 32. some were even 29!

He further explained that tyres are made of rubber and expands at high temperature. So, when yu are travelling in the afternoon when the asphalt on the road is hot, the tyre will want to expand. If the pressure in the tyre is to much and wouldn't accommodate the expansion, a burst is likely to happen at that time.

Pls check the recommended tyre pressure for your vehicle and others you know.

As many as possible Nigerians needs to read this.
thanks.

AS-SALAM ALAYKUM WA RAHMOTULLAH WA BARAKATU

Just A Reminder
100 direct instructions by Allah in the Quran for mankind.
Please don't keep this to yourself. Kindly share and let
others benefit from it too.
1. Do not be rude in speech (3:159)
2. Restrain Anger (3:134)
3. Be good to others (4:36)
4. Do not be arrogant (7:13)
5. Forgive others for their mistakes (7:199)
6. Speak to people mildly (20:44)
7. Lower your voice (31:19)
8. Do not ridicule others (49:11)
9. Be dutiful to parents(17:23)
10. Do not say a word of disrespect to parents (17:23)
11. Do not enter parents’ private room without asking
permission (24:58)
12. Write down the debt (2:282)
13. Do not follow anyone blindly (2:170)
14. Grant more time to repay if the debtor is in hard time
(2:280)
15. Don’t consume interest (2:275)
16. Do not engage in bribery (2:188)
17. Do not break the promise (2:177)
18. Keep the trust (2:283)
19. Do not mix the truth with falsehood (2:42)
20. Judge with justice between people (4:58)
21. Stand out firmly for justice (4:135)
22. Wealth of the dead should be distributed among his
family members (4:7)
23. Women also have the right for inheritance (4:7)
24. Do not devour the property of orphans (4:10)
25. Protect orphans (2:220)
26. Do not consume one another’s wealth unjustly (4:29)
27. Try for settlement between people (49:9)
28. Avoid suspicion (49:12)
29. Do not spy and backbite (2:283)
30. Do not spy or backbite (49:12)
31. Spend wealth in charity (57:7)
32. Encourage feeding poor (107:3)
33. Help those in need
by finding them (2:273)
34. Do not spend money extravagantly (17:29)
35. Do not invalidate charity with reminders (2:264)
36. Honor guests (51:26)
37. Order righteousness to people only after practicing it
yourself(2:44)
38. Do not commit abuse on the earth (2:60)
39. Do not prevent people from mosques (2:114)
40. Fight only with those who fight you (2:190)
41. Keep the etiquettes of war (2:191)
42. Do not turn back in battle (8:15)
43. No compulsion in religion (2:256)
44. Believe in all prophets (2:285)
45. Do not have sexual intercourse during menstrual period
(2:222)
46. Breast feed your children for two complete years
(2:233)
47. Do not even approach unlawful sexual intercourse
(17:32)
48. Choose rulers by their merit (2:247)
49. Do not burden a person beyond his scope (2:286)
50. Do not become divided (3:103)
51. Think deeply about the wonders and creation of this
universe (3:191)
52. Men and Women have equal rewards for their deeds
(3:195)
53. Do not marry those in your blood relation (4:23)
54. Family should be led by men (4:34)
55. Do not be miserly (4:37)
56. Do not keep envy (4:54)
57. Do not kill each other (4:92)
58. Do not be an advocate for deceit (4:105)
59. Do not cooperate in sin and aggression (5:2)
60. Cooperate in righteousness (5:2)
61. ’Having majority’ is not a criterion of truth (6:116)
62. Be just (5:
63. Punish for crimes in an exemplary way (5:38)
64. Strive against sinful and unlawful acts (5:63)
65. Dead animals, blood, the flesh of swine are prohibited
(5:3)
66. Avoid intoxicants and alcohol (5:90)
67. Do not gamble (5:90)
68. Do not insult others’ deities (6:108)
69. Don’t reduce weight or measure to cheat people (6:152)
70. Eat and Drink, But Be Not Excessive (7:31)
71. Wear good cloths during prayer times (7:31)
72. protect and help those who seek protection (9:6)
73. Keep Purity (9:108)
74. Never give up hope of Allah’s Mercy (12:87)
75. Allah will forgive those who have done wrong out of
ignorance (16:119)
76. Invitation to God should be with wisdom and good
instruction (16:125)
77. No one will bear others’ sins (17:15)
78. Do not kill your children for fear of poverty (17:31)
79. Do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge
(17:36)
80. Keep aloof from what is vain (23:3)
81. Do not enter others’ houses without seeking permission
(24:27)
82. Allah will provide security for those who believe only in
Allah (24:55)
83. Walk on earth in humility (25:63)
84. Do not neglect your portion o

When are you coming to bauchi

YOU WON'T REGRET READING THIS!!
A wise and saintly rich man, sensing his approaching death, called his son to his side and gave him these instructions:
'My son, I shall be leaving you very shortly. On the day when I die and they have washed my body and come to wrap it in the shroud, I want you to put one of my socks on my foot. This is my final request of you.'
Soon after this, the old man did indeed die, leaving behind his goods and property, his children and his dependents. Family, friends, acquaintances and neighbours attended his funeral. The body had been washed and was almost completely wrapped in the shroud, when the son remembered his father's wish. Finding one of his old socks, he handed it to the washer of the dead, saying, 'In accordance with my father's last request, please put this sock on his foot.'
'That is quite impossible:' Said the washer of the dead. 'Such a thing is utterly impermissible. I cannot act against the Sacred Law.'
Despite this valid objection, the son insisted, 'That was my father's final request; it must certainly be carried out.'
The washer of the dead was unmoved. 'If you won't take my word for it,' he said, 'go and ask the elder men. They will confirm what I tell you, that it is not permissible.'
Holding up the funeral, they consulted the elder men, religious head and scholars, all of whom declared that this was not permissible.
Just then, an aged friend of the deceased interrupted the debate with these words to the son: 'My boy, your late father entrusted me with a letter which I was to hand over to you after his departure. Here, this letter belongs to you.' So saying, he gave him an envelope.
Taken by surprise, the boy opened the envelope and read out the contents of his father's letter. 'My son, all this wealth and property I have left to you. Now you see: at the last moment, they won't even let you give me an old sock to wear. When you yourself come one day to be in my condition they will also refuse to let you keep anything. Naked body that, all you will be able to carry over from this fleeting world into the Hereafter. So pull yourself together and be prepared. Spend the fortune I have left you, not for the satisfaction of vain desires, but in ways pleasing to Almighty, that you may achieve honor in both worlds.'
Qullu Nafsin Za Iqatul Maut! Everything that lives shall taste Death! Noble Qur'an, Surah Al-Imran, Verse 185
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,
"Remember more often the destroyer of pleasures - DEATH!"
[At-Tirmidhi]
Imam Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "Every creature who walks on the earth has to go inside one day."
Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (may Allah be pleased with him) said: ''Death is like sleep; the only difference is that while sleep is of a short duration, death continues till the Day of Resurrection."
We dont even know if we will be alive the next moment or not.What if we never get any chance to seek forgiveness from Allah? So dont waste your time in idle pursuits . Make the most of your time REPENT AND WORSHIP ALLAH as much as you can.
Do not become materialistic because all of your worldly possessions are going to be left in this world.Your wealth, family, property etc will be left here, ONLY YOUR DEEDS WILL ACCOMPANY YOU, so try to gather as much good deeds as you can. We can leave any moment so just worry about your hereafter. Worry about the day when you will be standing in front of Allah and will be held accountable for all your deeds. Are you prepared to answer all the questions?
So stop worrying about this world and start preparing for the next one.
''MAY ALLAH SAVE US FROM THE WORLDLY DESIRES..
O Allah, I seek refuge in You from the punishment of the grave, and from the punishment of Hell-fire, and from the trials of life and death. Aameen Ya Rabb.

The govt should ask them the source of this kind money chaii theres God woo

Aishat alhassan you should know that the religion of islam allows a girl to be marreid at the age of 09 yrs, esen is no longer a christan but a muslim sister. And as such she has the right to get married at her present age, re- uniting wih her parent o separeting her with her lover against her wish may lead to comit suicide. Therefore the authority concern should be very careful with such action. The minister should use her good office to protect ese's right by allowing her to choose what ever she want freely. Where is the laws when girls are been married up at the age of 12, 13 etc. On daily basis raping of under age girls is a day to day affairs and the laws did not do anyting about it. Had it been that esens was pregnant by yinusa nobody will came out to bring such issues but when they heard that she converted to islam and got married, the noise makers beging to make noise. haters allaows eses to practise her new life. #ISTANDWITHESES#

Na waooo abba moro

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission is set to invite the immediate past Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party, Alhaji Adamu Mu’azu; and a former Minister of State for Defence, Senator Musiliu Obanikoro, over the car gifts they allegedly received from oil baron, Jide Omokore.
Already, the EFCC has detained the Deputy Chairman of the PDP, Prince Uche Secondus, since Tuesday for allegedly receiving 23 exotic cars (worth N302m) from Omokore.
However, a source within the PDP told our correspondent that the vehicles distributed by Omokore to several party leaders were far more than 23 as the vehicles were meant to be distributed across the country.
Omokore, who is an ally of former Minister of Petroleum Resources, Diezani Alison-Madueke, has been in detention for over a week.
His firm was one of the companies that allegedly received multi-billion dollar public assets without due process by the Goodluck Jonathan administration in 2011.
His company, Atlantic Energy Limited, is accused of lifting crude oil, but only remitting a fraction of its worth to the government.
According to detectives at the EFCC, the funds used for the purchase of the vehicles were sourced from crude oil receipts, which Omokore failed to remit.
The vehicles were said to have been given to key PDP chiefs who played key roles in mobilisation in their respective states.
The commission, it was learnt, has been unable to arrest Mu’azu as he has been out of the country for some months.
He is believed to be in either Dubai or Singapore.
The source said, “Mu’azu’s name has also been mentioned in the car issue but he has been out of the country for some months and we cannot get him now.”
Mu’azu is also to have been invited by the commission to explain the N10bn given to PDP delegates to the National Convention that picked Jonathan as the party candidate in 2014.
The N10bn was said to have been received through the Office of the Attorney-General of the Federation.
Similarly, Obanikoro has been in the United States – since the defeat of Jonathan. He is said to be undergoing an academic programme in the US.
The former minister, who is an American citizen was said to have received five vehicles from Secondus.
The source said, “Some of the vehicles were given to Secondus but other PDP leaders received the vehicles, which were mostly Sport Utility Vehicles. We were told that Obanikoro received five of such vehicles.
“Obanikoro and members of his family have been out of the country since last year but we hear he goes to Ghana and returns to the US. The two of them, Muazu and Obanikoro, are needed to make clarifications on the cars.”
Spokesman for the EFCC, Wilson Uwujaren, said he was not aware of the moves to invite Obanikoro and Muazu.
However, Obanikoro said in a statement that he never received any vehicles from anybody during the last beneral elections.
In a statement by his media aide, Mr. Jonathan Eze, the former minister said he was busy preparing for his final exams and did not have time to be responding to frivolous accusations.
He said, “This is another malicious lie from the pit of hell. My principal never collected any car or cars from Jide Omokore. In fact, we doubt that he can utter such a statement because Senator Musiliu Obanikoro has never had any transaction with him. Those behind the desecration of his name should get busy with worthwhile things just the way my principal is busy studying.
“It is another lie that he was seen in Ghana a few weeks ago, I make bold to say that Senator Musiliu Obanikoro never travelled to Ghana but he is intellectually engaged in the US preparing for his examinations.
“Nigerians should please note that all these lies are figments of the imagination of a few who are bent on pulling him down after his clear records of public service. Senator Obanikoro is a full time student and as such he does not have the luxury of time to travel or hold meetings with anyone while academic activities are ongoing.”
www.punchng.com/efcc- to- invite- ma'azu- obanikoro- over- omekore's-car- gift

85 is the correct number, clap for your self

Naira on its lowest ebb, hmm things will not remain thesame after this naira drop. lets our engineers and other professional start doing something for the benefit of our economy