₦airaland Forum

The challenge I see a lot of the time is that young people are looking for the ideal man or woman. Your ideal husband or wife is already married, that is why some people fall in love with married people.
A lot of the time, this guy or lady who looks perfect was not like that when he/she got married. If in your vision your husband is a CEO, can you recognize him when he is not yet a CEO?

When Pastor Nike and I got married, we were not the way we are now. It has taken investment for us to get here. I have issues with guys who are turning bachelorhood into an institution, there are lots of people around town who are not getting married because they want to own a mansion, have some money and cars before they settle down, they already have a job and they are waiting to have an ideal financial situation before marriage, I am telling you, if you are in that situation, you have been deceived.

What a lady needs is not a perfect man in the present, what she needs is a man who has a vision, a man who can define exactly where he is going and who he is going to be. That is what also defines the kind of wife you should marry. When Pastor Nike and I got engaged, when we were courting to be married, we discussed our salaries and I discovered that her allowance as a Youth Corper was more than my salary as a pastor. The day I told her my salary, I quickly told her, ‘you know what? It’s not going to be like this forever, I am going somewhere’. I discribed the future for her.

The essence of leadership is having a vision and the capacity to communicate it. You should be able to sell your vision to a lady. As a lady if your accessment about a man is who the person is today, you will soon be decieved because the fact that he has a car now is no guarantee that he will have a car in 5 years time.

Making a choice for marriage is largely a matter of intuition. Some people, all they think about is the wedding day. After the wedding, what next ? Who is this person going to be. This is the reason why your becoming matured is critical, your spiritual maturity is the key thing. Your greatest asset in finding someone to marry is your ability to hear from God. Nobody can accurately predict your future or guarantee what it will turn out to be except God.

You need to grow spiritually and develop the ability to hear from God. Take time to pray, catch a vision from your future and then you can marry someone who aligns with that vision. Once your vision of the future is defined, your value will be defined. Your values are the things that are very important to you. If you value spirituality, you have to marry someone who values spirituality or else you will crack the home up from the foundation.

You may have some few differences, but your basic values, foundational values, core values needs to align. This is why you need to grow and mature because when you are not yet matured, your values are not yet defined. Once your future is defined who to marry will be defined. It is not everyone that is husband/wife material for you.
God bless you….

Pastors Sam & Nike Adeyemi
DAYSTAR CHRISTIAN CENTER

(31years married this May, 2024)

Cc: lightfeatherstoriesw blog
#HeavenlyMandate

https://www.facebook.com/100081469874151/posts/pfbid031udaBKUhbLB15M7jTmjow5JDG4JohYVLhTxjRcFogwpjVkejmAVWVbwxuwukLTQ3l/?app=fbl

Many years ago, my friend dated a certain guy.

They worked in the same office.
They tried so hard to hide their relationship from colleagues at work.

But at some point he suffered a major housing issue and had to move in with her.

She was the oldest and had 3 younger siblings living with her.

They accepted him in.
They did his laundry.
They called him Sir.
They served his food.
They attended to him.
They respected him.

The relationship kept going on.

She had a car, he started driving both of them to work together.

After a while, it seemed they couldn't hide it anymore and the whole office knew of it.

She was a reserved person while he was a bit more outgoing.

So when they weren't at work, he was out and about with her car.

He lived with her for over 3 years that I can remember.

I know many times I would ask her why they weren't formalizing their marriage instead of just living together.

She would say she has asked severally and he says he is saving up so they can do both the marriage and move out of that house, leaving it for her siblings.

Suddenly one day, my friend got a call from a lady.

The lady was calling her all sorts of names and asking her to leave her man alone.

They lady told her they were getting married soon and she was just a hopeless old wit*ch.

My friend called and told me.
She asked the man.
He denied knowing anything.

Long story short.

The calls and insults and threats from this other woman continued.

Our man kept denying.

My friend did some digging and found the girl to be true.

Within a few weeks, our man moved out and married that girl.

It's been over 14 years now.

My friend suffered a major major heartbreak and never found love again.

She is over 45 now and not married.

Both my friend and the man are my Facebook friends.

I see him post his kids birthdays as they keep growing.

I never healed so I never comment on his posts.

I guess in life we win some, we lose some.

I have never stopped wondering why he did it this way.

He used her car, her siblings, her sweat and everything to take himself a wife. Why didn't he have the decency to tell her and maybe explain why he couldn't marry her.

It would have been painful, but atleast we would find some closure.

Two of her 3 siblings died after the heartbreak. They were ill.. She almost went mad.

She cried so much that till date, I feel her face has a fixed crying state on it.

My heart remains ever so heavy about her.

I hope that someday, I can look at his family pictures that he posts often and truly find healing.

It's been such a struggle.

https://www.facebook.com/100001451466426/posts/pfbid0H29oCfrt2eKkEJo39Wm7MpweEZiGsUyxv6bTAu5m3hmG4y4EsU6ap3MCvB9EYLYfl/?app=fbl

#chiomaifeanyieze

DATE: SUNDAY MARCH 10TH 2024

TOPIC: WHEN FIRE FALLS

MEMORISE:
“And there went out fire from the LORD, and devoured them, and they died before the LORD.” - (Leviticus 10:2)

READ: LEVITICUS 10:1-5 (KJV)

1 And Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, took either of them his censer, and put fire therein, and put incense thereon, and offered strange fire before the LORD, which he commanded them not.

2 And there went out fire from the LORD, and devoured them, and they died before the LORD.

3 Then Moses said unto Aaron, This is it that the LORD spake, saying, I will be sanctified in them that come nigh me, and before all the people I will be glorified. And Aaron held his peace.

4 And Moses called Mishael and Elzaphan, the sons of Uzziel the uncle of Aaron, and said unto them, Come near, carry your brethren from before the sanctuary out of the camp.

5 So they went near, and carried them in their coats out of the camp; as Moses had said.

MESSAGE:

When you are in a service, and everyone is praying that fire should fall, you must beware, because when the fire of God falls, some people die, and some others rejoice. When the fire of God falls, those who do not belong to Him are consumed, while those who belong to Him are empowered.

In Daniel 3:19-30, when they threw Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego into the fire, their yokes were destroyed by the fire, they walked out of the fire into promotion, but those who were not on the side of the Lord that got close to that fire were consumed.

Some years ago, as I was preaching during a service, the fire of God fell. While people were getting their healings, a woman ran out of the service. From outside the hall, she beckoned on the fellow she came with to bring her bag so that she could go home. Surprised, the fellow asked her why she couldn’t come in to get her bag herself, and she said that there was fire in the place and she couldn’t come in for fear of being burnt. When the fire of God comes down, while it brings healings and promotions to God’s children, it can destroy those who are not on the Lord’s side. So, before you join those who are asking for fire to fall, if you are not already on God’s side, please cross over.

I should also note that sometimes, the fire of God comes down unexpectedly in the middle of a service. Even the preacher may be unaware that God is about to rain down fire. When the fire falls, only those who are on Christ’s side will be safe. The reason I chose the passage in our Bible reading for today is that I want to speak particularly to those who are workers in the church and who are still dipping their hands into sin. Surrender your life completely to the Lord Jesus Christ because if you are standing by when the fire begins to fall, and you are not on the Lord’s side, the result might not be very pleasant.

God usually gives room for repentance, but that is until His fire falls. The day the fire falls is the day of consequences - there is no repentance after that. Many are nursing diseases and other terrible issues because when the fire of God fell, they were not on His side.

PRAYER POINT:
Father, please forgive me of every sin I have committed against You. Please help me to be on Your side at all times, in Jesus' name.

BIBLE IN ONE YEAR: JOSHUA 21-22

AUTHOR PASTOR E A ADEBOYE

HYMNAL: 26 - THERE SHALL BE SHOWERS OF BLESSING

1 There shall be showers of blessing:
This is the promise of love;
There shall be seasons refreshing,
Sent from the Savior above.
Showers of blessing,
Showers of blessing we need;
Mercy-drops round us are falling,
But for the showers we plead.

2 There shall be showers of blessing—
Precious reviving again;
Over the hills and the valleys,
Sound of abundance of rain.

3 There shall be showers of blessing;
Send them upon us, O Lord!
Grant to us now a refreshing;
Come, and now honor Thy Word.

4 There shall be showers of blessing;
O that today they might fall,
Now as to God we’re confessing,
Now as on Jesus we call!

5 There shall be showers of blessing,
If we but trust and obey;
There shall be seasons refreshing,
If we let God have His way.

LESSON: TWENTY EIGHT (28)

DATE: SUNDAY MARCH 10TH 2024

TOPIC: CHRISTIANITY AND SOCIALISATION

SUNDAY SCHOOL HYMN

1. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
O how I love Thee well,
I am happy, it makes me glad
To rejoice at Thy birth.

2. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Thy friend friendship suits me well,
Both young and will sing Thy song,
We long for Sunday School.

3. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Christ was Thy first teacher,
The Holy Spirit, great teacher,
Does manifest in thee.

4. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
This testimony is sure,
That God, the Father Almighty,
Poured His blessing on Thee

5. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Though the sun be so bright,
Or if the clouds be black with rain,
I'll be in Sunday School.

6. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day
I rejoice to see Thee,
Will thou pass over me today?
Without my being blest?


MEMORY VERSE: "Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand". – Philippians 4:5

BIBLE PASSAGE: 1CORINTHIANS 6:12-13

12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

13 Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.

INTRODUCTION
To socialise simply means to talk to and do things with other people in a friendly way. There are various ways of socialising, ranging from relating with people in the immediate environment, to getting involved in governance and community development activities. Christian socialisation cuts across recreation, social interaction, cultural activities, and political issues. While there may be diverse opinions on the extent of the involvement of Christians in social issues, it should be noted that moderation should be the watchword.

LESSON OUTLINES
1. BIBLICAL INSTANCES OF SOCIALISATION
2. WORLDLY PERSPECTIVES VERSUS BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE

BIBLICAL INSTANCES OF SOCIALISATION

Jesus Christ and His disciples attended a wedding ceremony at Cana of Galilee (John 2:1-2). He dined with Zacchaeus in his house (Luke 19:5). He was a friend to the family of Lazarus, Mary, and Martha (Luke 10:38-42) and also paid them a condolence visit (John 11:33-35). He and his disciples also participated in the Feast of Passover (Mark 14:12-14). Apostle Paul interacted with diverse classes of people for the sake of the Gospel to win some (1Corinthians 9:19-23). Daniel was involved in political administration in his days (Daniel 1:18-21; 6:1-3).

WORLDLY PERSPECTIVES VERSUS BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE

Christians cannot live in isolation in this present world. However, we must know when and how to draw the line between worldly (sinful) and acceptable (holy) socialisations. For instance, Christians are expected to recreate (1Timothy 4: but visiting bar/beer joints and nightclubs for recreation is unacceptable. Christians should avoid participating or feasting at occasions where idols are celebrated (1Corinthians 10:28). Modernised carnivals with satanic undertones and other places where Christian integrity is questionable should also be avoided (1 Corinthians 8:10-11; 10:19-21). Watching immoral movies, listening to/singing ungodly music, and wearing seductive dresses in the name of socialisation are also ungodly things Christians must avoid (1Corinthians 8:8-11).

While getting involved in secular activities, Christians should watch out and abstain from things that can make them compromise their faith (Philippians 4:.

CONCLUSION
Whatsoever we do to socialise should be to the glory of God and the edification of the saints (1 Corinthians 10:31). Christians are to show moderation in social interactions.

QUESTION
1. Mention three biblical instances of socialisation.
2. Distinguish between worldly and godly socialisations.

Folaranmi Zacchaeus

They do this just to watch their favorite sport but when I do the same for Jesus they called me brainwashed.

They buy jersey, stickers, key holders of their favorite team but when I buy my church t-shirt, sticker they said I'm being brainwashed.

They buy ticket to watch their favorite team every week forgetting the poor but when I give my offering and tithe to the church,then boom!!! They remember that the poor exist.

They shout,cry,kneel and do all manner of crazy stuffs when they meet their favorite super stars but when I honor my pastor, they say I'm being mentally slaved.

They proclaimed their love for their favorite team and Superstars but when I proclaimed my love for my church and Jesus they called me brainwashed.

They sponsor their favorite team and Superstars but when I sponsor the gospel they vexed and they say my pastor is extorting me to enrich himself.

Dear church, the world will never love you because you're not of it own.

https://www.facebook.com/701031830/posts/pfbid0NU6UUp7NcBnVjtjLV7SyCruWCEwhs49HSupAa27n8mmBBeCYSM69GQtjwiYrWcDnl/

Sola Faleye was the most trusted and loyal aide of the late Herbert Wigwe before he died.

Sola was a staff member of Diamond Bank and was among the assets acquired by Acess back when Wigwe acquired the bank in 2019.

Wigwe found him to be loyal, efficient, self-driven, dedicated, innovative, a goal-getter, and hardworking, so he made him his personal PA, and ever since Sola started working with Herbert, he has always travelled with him.

Whether on a local or international trip, he is there with his boss.

In fact, if you are calling Herbert on the phone and he is not picking his calls, just call Sola, he would give you a heads-up where Oga is and why he ia not picking his calls.

Sola, as expected, was with him in the US and was meant to travel with his boss in the ill-fated helicopter crash.

Untill Sola had this brainwave, instead of travelling with oga in the chopper, why travel with the luggage by road since the chopper could not carry it?

Again, it will take 3 hours and 30 minutes for the luggage to arrive, and since his job was to make sure that his boss was comfortable, there is no way he would be comfortable or go to bed until the luggage arrived, so it makes sense to travel by road.

According to Falaye, he decided to accompany the luggage by road to ensure it arrived safely to his boss, who told him it was a brilliant idea.

So he headed to Las Vegas by road with the luggage while Wigwe, his wife, son, and Mr. Ogunbajo boarded the chopper to the same destination.

While still driving to Vegas, Faleye tried to call his boss and the others on the chopper, but none of the calls went through.

He arrived Las Vegas with the lugages and continued to dial the number of his boss

If was later that the news that the newss was broke to him that he cheated death by whisker as his boss and his entourage could not make it to Las Vegas.

Sola’s name was on the manifest, and when the helicopter crashed, he was listed as one of the victims who died with his boss and family.

Sola was the last person who saw his boss, the wife, and Chizo alive before they embarked on the trip of no return.

It was said that he asked his boss:

Sir, how comfortable are you flying a chopper at night? I have never done it before”

The boss answered.

“ This is America, they have navigation systems for flying a chopper at night,’

Unfortunately, the American navigational system that he trusted so much failed him.

Sola would live with the trauma of the fact that he could have been on that ill-fated flight that ended the lives of his boss and his family and, at the same time, be grateful that God gave him a second chance to live.

https://www.facebook.com/100000563983468/posts/pfbid04B1X9h76Zrbz24DFuS87VoJWTTPvx9LTthRCA5U5co4dJETTv9cPnwPjyVCksbTQl/

"I want to travel the world, which isn’t the easiest thing to do with a Nigerian passport. I wanted a passport that’d give me access to pretty much everywhere. So, I learned about the golden visa, and the most affordable option I found was the Portugal Golden Visa. It cost €350k and involved buying property, which would give me a five-year residency. Last last, I could rent out the property and make money from it. I only needed to visit Portugal for one week every year for those five years, after which I’d get citizenship.

Plus, they don’t pay tax on crypto-based earnings in Portugal, they speak a lot of English, and there’s a relatively big Black community there. It was the perfect option, and I was going to get it. But then I lost all my savings — over $500k in total.

I’d invested about $80k in Terra in 2021. By April 2022, it had grown to $150k. Then the Luna/Terra coin crash happened, and took my money with it. Honestly, I should’ve known the returns were too good to be true, but sh!t happens. It was painful, but I still had about $400k in other savings and investments. So, it was like, “Damn, I lost money. Well, I still have money.”

The plan was to finalise my Golden Visa in November 2022. So, I liquidated the rest of my crypto and stocks in late October and put it all — about $380k — in a crypto exchange, FTX. I didn’t put the money in the bank because I didn’t want anyone asking too many questions or forcing me to fill out forms.

It was supposed to be there for a week. Unfortunately, FTX crashed on November 2. I didn’t even know until November 9 because I was busy with work and was ignoring my emails. By the time I found out, my money was gone. If I had heard the news earlier, I could’ve withdrawn some of it.

I was devastated. I couldn’t take a bath, eat or step outside for a whole week. My security guard even came into the house to make sure I wasn’t de@d."
https://www.facebook.com/100063543763373/posts/pfbid02EHF5MZwvYonoz2C1SwfTfJBUbdUvQdMh5MrzjNmvzaKWQgZwKXdwF4NpHSHLiN15l/


~ Zikoko

*
WEDNESDAY 14 FEBRUARY, 2024

*THEME: IS THIS LOVE?*

*MEMORISE:*
"He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." (1 John 4:

*READ: 1 JOHN 4:8-12*

[8] He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

[9] In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.

[10] Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

[11] Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

[12] No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.

*MESSAGE:*
Love is a word that has been bastardised by young people who cannot differentiate between love and infatuation. While love is unconditional, infatuation is based on certain conditions.

When someone truly loves you, he or she will not be consumed by the thoughts of your physical body or what they can get from you.

Jesus has shown us what it means to truly love through the following:

*1. He died for us to bring us closer to God:* If that boy or girl that claims to love you cannot sacrifice lust so that you can both get closer to God, it is not true love.

*2. He gives us daily benefits without expecting anything in return:* If someone of the opposite sex buys gifts for you and expects something in return, his or her love is questionable.

*3. He defends us before God when we fail:* Jesus intercedes for us before God. Can the boy or girl that claims to love you defend you or never speak ill of you in your absence?

If those who claim to love you are not committed to God, then they shouldn't be in your inner circle. Do not conclude that someone loves you just because he or she tells you sweet words and buys gifts for you. Nobody can love you if they do not have a relationship with God and exhibit His character in their daily lives.

*REFLECTION:*
True love goes beyond showing affection or giving gifts on Valentine's Day.

*HYMN: THERE'S NOT A FRIEND LIKE THE LOWLY JESUS*

1. There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus–
No, not one! no, not one!
None else could heal all our soul's diseases–
No, not one! no, not one!

CHORUS:
Jesus knows all about our struggles,
He will guide till the day is done;
There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus–
No, not one! no, not one!

2 No friend like Him is so high and holy–
No, not one! no, not one!
And yet no friend is so meek and lowly–
No, not one! no, not one!

3 There's not an hour that He is not near us –
No, not one! no, not one!
No night so dark but His love can cheer us–
No, not one! no, not one!

4. Did ever saint find this friend forsake him?
No not one! no not one!
Or sinner find that he would not take him?
No not one! no not one!

5. Was e'er a gift like the Savior given?
No, not one! no, not one!
Will He refuse us a home in heaven?
No, not one! no, not one!

*BIBLE IN ONE YEAR:*
Exodus 37:1-38:31; Matthew 28:1-20

*AUTHORS:* Pastor E. A. Adeboye
Pastor (Mrs) Folu Adeboye

I am a survivor of domestic violence; After 9years with 3 children and repeated attempts to escape, I left with nothing but my 3 children on the morning of August 26th 1998 at the age of 28.
We were basically homeless squatters because no one wanted to accommodate a mother and three children especially that my vindictive ex-husband was threatening those trying to help me and kids with police arrest and accusing any male helper of being my lover.
Everyone was understandably being careful not to get involved.
There were no mobile phones and social media in 1998 to even reach out for help from organizations that can help.
My ex husband was a pastor and his friend, my dad, was superintendent of police and divisional crime officer DCO as at then.
No one wanted family/police wahala most especially since my dad was strongly against divorce.
So my children and I ended up living in a small church in Alagbado and the pastor used to put a tray down and urge members to contribute what he tagged Mercy fund for us.
Some members took turns bringing us food and clothes for a month then we moved in with my younger sister in Ago palace way Okota Isolo for the period it took my elder sisters to go plead with my father to let me return to his residence in Ekpoma. (The reason being that my father said he gave me out to his friend at 19 and vowed that no matter how badly I was treated I must stay married till death do us part, that if ever I disobeyed him and leave, I should go into hotel and prostitute rather than bring him the shame of being parent of a divorcee...story for another day)
My divorce was filed 1998 and final in March 19th 2000-bride price was returned.
I was 30, a high school cert holder.I decided to go back to school for my dream career-a lawyer with lots of help from Angels I met along the way.
I got my LL.B law Bachelors degree from Ekpoma, went to look for job in lagos and got a receptionist offer from an oil servicing firm in Victoria Island. Then I enrolled for my Master's degree at Unilag Akoka after attending lagos campus law school and got called to the bar. I became secretary/legal adviser of my company.
I always wanted to remarry eventually.
But being divorced with 3 children makes it twice harder, some men feel they're doing you a favor because you're a divorcee with children termed "baggages". Others couldn't even consider marriage at all, they wanted me as mistress or side chick.
I started praying for a life partner, don't get me wrong, I wasn't a saint.
I just wanted God to settle me and my children and surprise all them naysayers and haters.
So whenever there was an altar call for single needing a spouse and I joined to come out, there were lots of hush gossips and laughter and smirks about me. Some told me to my face to forget marriage and go back to my ex or become second wife.
The Pastor didn't agree with me, he said God hated divorce I should go back to my ex-husband and be praying for him as a woman of virtue.
Everytime I heard that, I changed church. I don't want to be 'a woman of virtue'🙄🙄🙄.
During the period of working and doing my Master's in Law at Akoka, one day, about after midnight March 17th 2008, I slept and dreamt I was in an empty courtroom approaching the judge but the seat was empty and a man in brown suit was standing facing the judge and someone behind me said that’s your “husband”!
He was turning to look at me as I tried to see his face I woke up.
As a single mom/parent since my divorced with 3 kids the past 10 years (1998-2008) I had been praying for a good man to remarry but my options was narrow due to my predicament and the society/church always reminds me of that.
But I just knew I wanted to get married again and experience love.
Anyway, Irked by the useless dream I got on my knees and bind and cast my dream ‘spirit marine husband' as my mom calls such.
I got back on the bed awaiting sleep when my phone beeped around after 1am. I looked, it was an email. I thought no need to waste my data, I'll read it at work the next day.
Next day at work I opened the email it was from Him who was to become my husband.(copy of the email below)

Back in 2007 December my now husband said he dreamt in the US; he saw a pretty fair lady who told him she’ll marry him. He called his family in Nigeria when he woke up and they told him to pray against spirit wife and familiar spirit.
On that sunday 16th March 2008 he was having conversations with his friend who happens to be my cousin in California also about his spirit wife dream and said he hopes to find a good wife eventually, my cousin then remembered my younger sisters who were single in Lagos and told him he has some single pretty cousins he can introduce to him. Because my cousin didn’t have pictures of my two single sisters alone, he sent the Easter one we all took together and when my husband saw the pictures he said he recognized me as the lady he dreamt of-The "marine-spirit wife"
he then sent me the email I saw and decided to read the next day.
I ignored it.
He sent a second email.
When he said: "you're the woman of my dreams" in my mind I said "abia!" Story story! He told me he was coming to marry me in May.
On May 8th 2008 he came; I went to pick him up at Muritala international arrival and met him in person for the first time ever after several emails and yahoo messenger chats.
Exactly 8 days after (courtship bla bla bla) on the 16h of May 2008 we had a shotgun wedding.

That was exactly 13 years ago today.
We still call each other crazy and desperate for the hasty nuptials.
I still love Idris Elba and Denzel Washington and our Naija Phyno.
He is still planning to run off and marry Diana Ross and loves Mariah Carey, Serena Williams and Taraji P Henson (why else do you think I hate those bitches?!) but we’re still together, crazy and happy; laugh over irrelevant things and share gossips like barrack housewives.
It’s been rocky crazy good and fun.
My ex-husband who was so sure I'll be back on my knees begging with my children because no one will marry me and when I get overwhelmed with cost of raising 3 children I go return and those men who acted like I wasn't good enough for them them are all occupying my timeline shouting wawu wawu like ambulance whenever I post pictures.
Dia fada! (Their dads😜)

Happy wedding anniversary to us.

It is not over until God says so.
Believe in your dreams.
If you want it bad enough you’ll get it(whatever "IT" is for you all, I hope this encourages you)

Thanks for reading❤❤❤

https://www.facebook.com/780394215/posts/pfbid0UvTKgW9msJvc2ts22YKUrYoYsj7X4B22PWdH763JD4FpFdTmHXBSxF3xqqvQsh1hl/?app=fbl

Elizabeth Asekome

slaawomirr:
Damnnn niggar
Fisayo my niggarrrrrr
I told ya all we are the real niggarz of Africa
Let me increase the volume so our noisy neighbours called Ghana, Cameroon and Benin republic can hear us loud and clear

Was doing fast and Furious with my lexus es 350 on the street of Benin city in a very happy mood yesterday night
On Sunday is gonna be worse.....aduwawa, ugbowo, airport road, upper lawani, upper mission road and okhoro road go hear word...

You missed out Ekosodin

DATE: THURSDAY FEBRUARY 8TH 2024

TOPIC: WHAT KIND OF VESSEL?

MEMORISE:
“So shall it be at the end of the world: the angels shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just.” – (Matthew 13:49)

READ: 2 TIMOTHY 2:15-21 (KJV)

15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

16 But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.

17 And their word will eat as doth a canker: of whom is Hymenaeus and Philetus;

18 Who concerning the truth have erred, saying that the resurrection is past already; and overthrow the faith of some.

19 Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.

20 But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour.

21 If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work.

MESSAGE:

In the Bible reading for today, the various kinds of vessels that can be found in the house of a great man were identified. It says that you will find some vessels unto honour and some unto dishonour. This may make you wonder, why does the great man keep vessels unto dishonour in his house, why doesn't he just throw them away? This is the same question that many ask when they consider the body of Christ today. They say, "Why does God not kill all fake pastors? Why does He not expose all those who are using His name to amass wealth and fame for themselves?" The answer to that is in Matthew 13:24-30. Verses 29 and 30 in particular say:

But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.

Our God does not act rashly; everything He does is for a reason. There are some fake pastors that some genuine Christians believe to be real. If God destroys such pastors, it could affect the faith of those who are following them. As such, the tares would have been gathered but the wheat would have unfortunately been rooted up with them. Don't worry about the mixed multitude in the church, God is coming to separate the wheat from the tares and when He does, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

If you claim to be a Christian, yet you are bringing dishonour to the Lord, you better change now. If such a person refuses to change, that is not a problem. The fire that will consume him or her is getting hotter every day. Such a person can keep enjoying the benefits of being called a Christian for now, however, God is coming with the reward for such deceivers, and on that day, He will take no apologies.

Beloved, if you are one of such deceivers, it is in your best interest to genuinely repent now, forsake your sinful ways, and truly surrender your life to Jesus Christ. It is the only way to escape the judgment that is coming for all those that are vessels unto dishonour.

REFLECTION:
What kind of vessel are you in the Master's house?

BIBLE IN ONE YEAR: NUMBERS 3-4

AUTHOR PASTOR E A ADEBOYE

HYMNAL: 23 - TAKE MY LIFE, AND LET IT BE

1 Take my life, and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.

2 Take my hands, and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love;
Take my feet and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee,
Swift and beautiful for Thee.

3 Take my voice, and let me sing
Always, only, for my King;
Take my lips, and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee,
Filled with messages from Thee.

4 Take my silver and my gold;
Not a mite would I withhold;
Take my intellect, and use
Every power as Thou shalt choose,
Every power as Thou shalt choose.

5 Take my will, and make it Thine;
It shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart; it is Thine own;
It shall be Thy royal throne,
It shall be Thy royal throne.

6 Take my love; my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure-store.
Take myself, and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee,
Ever, only, all for Thee.

SOMEBODY SAID THE REASON WHY THIS CHURCH IS GROWING IS BECAUSE WE BURIED COWS. OKAY! GO AND BURY COW.

YOU CAN’T WALK IN THE KIND OF FAITH THAT I WALK IN AND NOT COMMAND THE KIND OF RESULTS THAT I COMMAND.

I WALKED IN THE STEPS OF COPELAND AND COMMANDED THE SAME THING BY GRACE.

ANYTHING I SAY TO YOU IN THIS CHURCH AND YOU CAN’T FIND IT ROOTED IN THE BIBLE, TRASH IT.

THERE IS NO REVELATION THAT WILL CONTRADICT THE BIBLE.

THANK GOD FOR SMITH WIGGLESWORTH, HE TAUGHT ME MY DOMINION RIGHT OVER ALL devils.

There is no apartheid in knowledge. Find it wherever you can and it becomes a personal asset

- Bishop David Oyedepo on ENGAGING THE POWER OF FAITH FOR FULFILMENT OF PROPHECIES at Special Thanksgiving Service || Faith Tabernacle, Canaanland|| 4th February 2024 || First Sunday Service || Part D

Somebody said the reason why this Church is growing is because we buried cows. Okay! Go and bury cow. It is a brand new day for you. Church Gist. The good news is this year will be the beginning of years for you. That is in all areas for you.

Bible faith is real. Bible faith is tangible. Bible faith never lacks proofs. I must commit to building my faith through learning and those who know. Anything I say to you in this Church and you can’t find it rooted in the Bible, trash it. There is no revelation that will contradict the Bible. No revelation will run contrary to the Bible and deliver. It is all open to us. Church Gist. You can’t walk in the kind of faith that I walk in and not command the kind of results that I command. I walked in the steps of Copeland and commanded the same thing by grace. You get to a point where there is nothing God says that will be difficult for you to believe. You are connected with light from the Word and those who have proved it from the Word so it establishes your faith. As the Lord lives, your days of struggles are declared over.

2 Corinthians 2:14. Light is sweet. The savour of His knowledge in every place. It is only by light that we rule the world of darkness. When light comes, faith comes along. Church Gist. Nobody doubts what he can see. Revelation is the birthplace of faith. That is the labour room of faith. We are reading and studying to come into revelation so that faith can come alive.

It took God six days to build the world, He won’t need two months to build this house. Light! Then all barriers just crumbled. It is very important to know that faith is a weapon exclusive to the redeemed. 1 John 5:4. It is so important to understand that because until you are born again, you cannot see what God is saying in His Word, so you cannot believe it. 1 Corinthians 3:14. Until one is born again, faith hardly works. Church Gist. Mercy can drop from time to time but that faith generated results are purely for the redeemed. 1 John 5:4. The faith that overcomes is the faith that is engaged by the redeemed. Until you are born again, it doesn’t work.

Our obedience is absolutely to our benefit. Totally, 100 per cent to our benefit. You obey or disobey God, He is God. You cast aspersion on Him, He is God. He can’t be bigger, He can’t be smaller, He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Our obedience is absolutely to our benefit. I have this piece, A Call To Every Winner To Awake From Slumber. No prophet is responsible for any prophetic word to come to pass in our lives. God is not responsible for whatever prophecy of scriptures that doesn’t come to pass in your life and my life. He is not, we are. It is the faith of individuals that determines which prophetic word comes to pass in their lives. Church Gist. Every prophetic word is at the mercy of the faith of the individuals for delivery. Even the prophet himself will not see prophetic words come to pass without him or her believing it. You can say it, it doesn’t mean it will come to pass. You have to do what He says. He is no respecter of persons. That is why not all prophets see prophetic words come to pass in their lives. He is no respecter of persons. So awake! Build your faith. Get your faith to come alive.

Get these books: The Lifestyle of Faith by Bishop David Abioye; Born to Win, if you want to Win; Exploits of Faith, getting outstanding things accomplished by Faith; The Unlimited Power of Faith, this will really help you to know what it takes to maximize the wonders of faith; The Turnaround Power of Faith. You can choose anyone to feed your faith and starve your doubt.

If you believe the prophetic word concerning your fortune package for 2024, you will line up with the demands. Nobody will beg you to, if you believe it you will. I received and believed the covenant of prosperity and I didn’t need any advice, I plugged into it and it is working. I received Matthew 6:33 in 1976, I plugged into it and it is still working and I remain plugged till Jesus comes. Church Gist. What we are empowered to experience is a product of what we receive and believe. We can’t experience what we don’t believe. So expect something unusual this year as you build your faith.

If you have a guaranteed return of miracle children for one soul within one week, will you engage or not? You have been looking for this for twenty years and He says bring me one soul within one week and you believe He said so. Won’t you engage? If you have a gift of a house for two souls this month, will you engage or not? Full scale. You will ask is it only two I should bring? That is how people believe in the words of men than they believe in God. If it is a man who promised you, the man may not be in existence again tomorrow. So the gift is gone. Church Gist. This is the eternal God, He says this is what I will do if you believe. You say you believe, then do what He says you should do then you commit Him to it. Between now and the first half of this year, as the Lord lives, everyone who chooses to engage with God in His enlargement agenda will see the hand of God in all areas of their life.

May I please advise every one of us to take at least one faith book and believe God for light. Every encounter with the Word builds faith. Believe God for light and watch what will happen in your life. Remember faith is a profession, you need to learn the skills of what makes it work. Church Gist. When you learn from those who worked it and it worked for them, it becomes easy for you to understand it, comprehend it. Church Gist. Thank God for Smith Wigglesworth, he taught me my dominion right over all devils. I got it in 1979. There is no apartheid in knowledge. Find it wherever you can and it becomes a personal asset. There is no abracadabra in the faith.
- I see you gain command.
- The things that used to threaten you will be threatened at your presence.
- The week is declared a blessed week.
- Grace to secure your place in this fortune agenda is yours in Jesus' name.

#BishopDavidOyedepo
#SpecialThanksgivingService
#FaithTabernacle
#SupersonicSunday
#LFCWorldwide
#Fortune2024
#4thFebruary2024
#ChurchGist

I know two clients who after they divorced went for women in their 20s.

It is not only because of fertility concerns that they went for women below 30.

There are other reasons.

1. First and foremost, the younger they are, the fewer the baggage.

See, it is highly likely that a woman in her 30s has seen it and heard it all. She has dated many guys and has served many of them "breakfast". They have probably served her "breakfast" too. She has probably suffered emotional and psychological abuse in her previous relationships. She is a walking and talking embodiment of unresolved issues and dramas from her exes.

The cumulative effect of this is that there is a very high probability that she will bring all that baggage to her new relationship/man.

That's why relating with women in their 30s sometime feels like you are lifting an invisible weight.

It sometimes feels like you have to defend yourself because they make you feel that way. The reason is not farfetched.

They come with a lot of baggage from their previous relationships and they unwittingly punish their next boyfriend for the sins of the former.

They don't do this intentionally. It is a subconscious thing. They don't even know they are doing it but you feel the pressure as a man when you talk to them.

You feel like you are defending yourself from a crime you never committed. You feel like you are fighting someone else's fight.

2. The second reason most men go for women below 30 flows from the first point. Because women in the early to mid 20s bring less baggage from previous relationships, they tend to be more teachable, cooperative and agreeable.

Every man wants a woman whom he can mould and create in his image. A woman he can teach. A woman that can submit to his leadership and reapect his thoughts. In other words, an agreeable woman.

Unfortunately but unsurprisingly, most women in their 30s are easily disagreeable. Sometimes they argue and become defensive when they don't have to.

Again, the reason for this is a simple one.

A woman in her 30s knows stuff too and she comes into a relationship with that "I-have-been-around-for-long" attitude. The "sabi" attitude. Trust me, I have seen this play out a number of times.

Now, knowing stuff is not bad, but it comes at a price.

People who think they know things and who think they have experience are usually the most difficult to work or relate with. They are just difficult by default. They are less teachable and definitely less agreeable.

This automatically creates problems for a man. His natural response will be to avoid women with a lot of "experiences" and "sabi" attitude; and they are usually women above age 30.

This is why i made the point here one time that the older a woman gets, the humbler she should be, especially if she is still single and wishes to marry. Men nowadays don't have time for drama.

3. Fewer body counts. Now I have to be careful here. This is not automatic. There are women in their 20s with a higher body count than those in their 30s.

However it is a game of probability.

All things being equal, it is more probable that older women will have a higher body count than younger ones simply because they have been around in the sexual marketplace for a longer period.

They have been dated and jilted by men when they were in their 20s, and there is a high probability that those men had sex with them.

And I have also heard statistics that show that women with high body counts are ten times more likely to end in divorce.

It must be said however that for many men this is not a disqualifying issue. Some men will still marry a woman despite her body count as long as she is teachable, cooperative, submissive and agreeable.

Actually for most men an agreeable, submissive and cooperative woman wins the day every day.

Men don't like it when they feel like they have to walk on egg shells when talking to their woman.

Sadly a woman with baggage will always be disagreeable because in her head she is seeing and simulating her exes.

https://www.facebook.com/100000191901705/posts/pfbid02t9DdbpXzPLtguXTeSRRpm5WqtoA1W4eBuA4yC9oRAuvzukpchPbaWGGN9HzYnRzYl/?app=fbl


#truthissacred
Selah.

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From shame to showers of blessing:
Meet, Adebisi, husband of Nigeria’s luckiest woman
7th January 2024
Abiola Adebisi and his wife Olaki Jasmine Loveth aka Debbie
Abiola Adebisi and his wife Olaki Jasmine Loveth aka Debbie

By
Hannah Johnson
Kindly share this story:

Meet Abiola Adebisi, the husband of the trending Nigerian lady, Olaki Jasmine Loveth, widely known as ‘Debbie.’

Debbie gained viral attention when she shared on X that she began waking up at 4.50 am to cook for her husband, sparking both praise and criticism.

Despite the controversies, netizens generously donated over N5 million to Debbie, with fellow Nigerians extending various gifts. Fintech company, Kuda has promised to match the initial N2m donation, meaning that Adebisi may end up with over N10m in donations.

Infinix Nigeria offered the couple its latest device, Infinix Hot 40, while the Nigerian National Petroleum Company Limited provided a free N200,000 PMS voucher.

Day 11: Let's Count Down To 2024 Together! | Punch0:00 / 0:00

Adding to the support, the National Information Development Agency pledged two laptops and a one-year internet subscription for Debbie and her husband.

Abiola Adebisi, expressing gratitude on his X page, stated, “I bless the day I met this woman.” Describing his wife as a prayer warrior, he added, “She can pray. My god in human form.”

Also reacting on his Facebook page on Saturday he said, “Eledami modupe o.” (My creator, thank you o)


Here are some details about Abiola Adebisi, the luckiest husband in Nigeria at the moment:

Related News
Still counting! Millions, new jobs, phones: The gifts Nigerians showered on woman mocked for cooking for husband by 4:30am
Naira rain on woman who wakes up at 4.50am to cook for husband
Kuda bank, NITDA to gift N2m, laptops to lady mocked for waking up early to cook for husband


1. He attended Aguda Grammar School, Lagos and graduated in 2005.

2: He studied Applied Mathematics at the University of Ilorin and graduated in 2015.

3: He is from Oyo, an ancient city in Oyo State.

4. He has four siblings: three males and a female.

4: He currently works as a Mathematics teacher.


5. He married Deborah, who goes by Olaki Jasmine Loveth on Facebook; @_Debbi_OA on X; and Olakijasmine on Instagram, in August 2023.

6. The couple is blessed with a four-year-old daughter.

By Hannah Johnson
Kindly share this story:

All rights reserved. This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from PUNCH.

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*The Southwest of Nigeria must be commended for their cinematic storytelling prowess*

Almost 100% of the top ten highest-grossing Nigerian movies have been delivered by directors of Southwest origin.

Not only do they dominate in Nollywood, but they also are the cream of Nigeria's music industry, having produced all of Nigeria's Grammy Award winners, including::::

Sade Adu (1986), Babatunde Olatunji (1991), Sikiru Adepoju (1991) and Seal (1996), Burna Boy (2021), Wizkid (2021), Temilade Openiyi AKA Tems (2023), and Burna Boy (2021).

The above are either wholly or partially Yoruba.

*This vindicates my 2023 post where I said that if the rest of Black Africa can be as true to their indigenous culture as the Yorubas of Nigeria are, their culture will help them dominate the global creative industry*

Let me also congratulate Funke Akindele for smashing the record of not just the highest-grossing Nigerian movie but also establishing a new record as the first movie of Nigerian origin to achieve the Two Billion Naira box office mark. Well done, and may you achieve even more positive historical firsts!

I also call on ivory towers around the world to study Yoruba Omoluabi Lukumi culture to understand why it has such a dominance in the arts and provide lessons on how the cultural practices which led to such creative successes can be replicated in other cultures.

*Top Nollywood Movie Directors By Domestic Gross Value*

Funke Akindele: ₦2.55bn
Niyi Akinmolayan: ₦1.11b
Kayode Kasum: ₦763.34m
Kemi Adetiba: ₦697.06m
Robert Peters: ₦609.20m
Moses Inwang: ₦499.99m
Biodun Stephen: ₦436.17m
Tope Adebayo: ₦397.97m
Loukman Ali: ₦328.88m
Adebayo Tijjani: ₦278.50m
Omoni Oboli: ₦253.02m
Kunle Afolayan: ₦245.64m
Ramsey Nouah: ₦239.59m
Toka Mcbaror: ₦235.63m
Akay Mason: ₦222.61m

As of 3 Jan 2024. Source @StatiSense

TUESDAY FLAT OUT

By Suyi Ayodele

(Published in the Nigerian Tribune on Tuesday, January 2, 2024)

https://tribuneonlineng.com/aiyedatiwa-the-world-belongs-to-no-one/

By April, this year, the All Progressives Congress (APC) will hold its gubernatorial primary in Ondo State. Who says the new man Lucky Ayedatiwa can not lose the primary? If that happens, the entire APC political class will shift attention to the winner, and as a governor, Ayedatiwa will become a lame duck till he hands over later in the year. So, if I were the new Ondo State governor, I would not answer my name, Ayedatiwa, which gives one the false assurance that the world now belongs to one to own and to keep. But, if he decides to answer the name as it is, it will be late before he realises that the world does not belong to anyone. How do I know this? I take us on a voyage to our folk songs. Two songs came to mind here. One of the songs says the world is a mirror. In my Ekiti dialect, mirror is ayegbe, while in Standard Yoruba Language, it is called jigi. So, we have a saying that “Ayegbe ni ile aye.” The other song warns the new leader not to look down on others because the world rotates (Yiyi ni aye nyi). After the installation of a leader or a chief in my community, there is what is called “ije” – the seventh day after the installation. On that day, the women gather to celebrate. However, while celebrating, they stylishly send a message to the new leader or chief in a song thus: Àyègbè la'yé o?the world is a mirror. Hi se ku wo ba mu hoju/ once you are through using it to check your face. Mo mo gba’ayegbe sonu/don’t throw away the mirror. Hi se ku wo ba mu hoju, mu ke keji re/ once you are through using it to check your face, give it to your friend. Aye mo ju nu kan je, o, ayegbe/this world is not where only one man can enjoy; it is a mirror. At a time, Akeredolu was holding the mirror of life as the governor of Ondo State. On Wednesday, December 29, 2023, he passed on the Ayegbe of life to Ayedatiwa. Why? The simple reason is that life does not belong to anybody. No matter how long one holds on to the mirror, once it is passed on, it will still show the face of the next holder.

The curtain was drawn on Arakunrin Rotimi Akeredolu, the immediate past governor of Ondo State, in the early hours of Wednesday, December 29, 2023. The governor, whose nickname is Aketi, died at the age of 67. That was sad news for not just the people of Ondo State, but the entire Yoruba race and the country, Nigeria, at large. Given his stature and deeds while here on earth, Akeredolu’s death is a huge loss to humanity. We pay our condolences to his immediate family, the people of Ondo State and humanity in general. Dead or alive, Akeredolu remains the proverbial Onirese, the great calabash carver of yore. In years to come, the patterns of Akeredolu’s leadership as governor of Ondo State, and earlier as President of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA), will remain indelible. As a matter of fact, the legal profession, where the late Aketi rose to the pinnacle as a Senior Advocate of Nigeria (SAN), will never forget his giant strides. For the Yoruba nation, whenever the history of the race is told, especially its struggles to free itself from the rampage of the felons, who invaded the land, killing, maiming and devastating the land, the name Oluwarotimi Akeredolu, will be written in gold. While it is true that the man, Aketi, had his own personal failings (we all do as humans), his good deeds are by far in excess of his shortcomings. Posterity will recall forever that it was Akeredolu, who took the bull by the horns and established for the Yoruba race, Amotekun, the zone’s home-grown local police. The family of Akeredolu has enough in the patriarch to console them. May the soul of the colossus rest in perfect peace. Amen.

Akeredolu’s death is like the proverbial aparo (patridge) and the maize farmer. What is the source of laughter to aparo, is what causes the farmer to shed tears. Such is life. The elders of my place have a saying, to wit: Agogo ofo laafin; ilu ayo nile eni ti oye kan – while the bell of dirge rings in the palace over the demise of the king, there is drumbeat of joy in the house of the next-in-rank. Nature abhors vacuum. So, it was not out of place that hours after the death of Akeredolu was announced, there was a gathering of dignitaries at the Cocoa Hall of the Ondo State Government House, where Akeredolu’s deputy, Lucky Orimisan Ayedatiwa, was sworn-in as the substantive governor. The last seven months have been tough for Ondo State. There is no denying the fact that the late Akeredolu and Ayedatiwa did not live the last seven months as best of friends. Whatever cord that strapped Ayedatiwa to Akeredolu’s political back got snapped when the late governor became incapacitated by his illness and the hawks-in-power from both camps stepped in. The intrigues were palpable. The matter got to a point that President Bola Ahmed Tinubu had to step in. Even at that, President Tinubu’s intervention in the crisis remains that of a typical Adajo Owu - an unfair judge. When you have an unfair arbiter presiding over a dispute, my Yoruba elders say what you get is idajo ebita - skewed judgement. Tinubu replicated his adajo owu syndrome in his intervention in the crisis between Governor Siminalayi Fubara of Rivers State and his predecessor, Nyesom Wike, the Minister of Federal Capital Territory. We hope to come to that as the events in the oil-rich Rivers unfold with the peace of the graveyard in the state. The crowd that followed Ayedatiwa to his swearing-in remains the most debased people one can have at such a gathering.

There are two events that naturally settle disputes in my place. No matter the acrimony between two people, the birth of a child or the death of a person, brings instant reconciliation. That was why I was shocked at the attitude of the crowd at Ayedatiwa’s swearing-in ceremony last week. African names are significant. They carry meanings. Most times, the names are pure metaphors. I know a man of God whose name is Mamukuyomi. He is from Ondo town. After the incident of last Wednesday at the Ondo State Government House, I went back to think about the meaning of. Mamukuyomi. It says: don’t deride me because of death. That is what the Ayedatiwa crowd did at his swearing-in. I watched the video of the event several times. It was a happy crowd. Someone among them even hinted that Ayedatiwa would do nine years. The person said “nine years”, and another person cautioned him. I shook my head. Akeredolu’s spirit was probably still loitering around his living room. Yet, someone was already altering the political permutation in the state. The carnivalesque posture of the event and rambunctious crowd gave a new low in our humanity. Nothing, from the physical appearance to the unruly crowd, showed that a sad event like the death of the former governor happened less than 12 hours ago. That is unfeeling. Yeah, nobody expected Ayedatiwa to look mournful, or cry at his swearing-in, but, for heaven’s sake, even witches shed crocodile tears! The new governor himself put a knife to humanity, when in his speech, he congratulated the people. “A ku orire” is not a language spoken at a funeral. Who coached the man before he went for the swearing-in? There are better ways to act in such circumstances. The almost-immediate appointments Ayedatiwa announced after his swearing-in, I think, and very strongly too, were too hasty!

But in all that, I have one consolation. More than seventy percent of the people that will eventually ruin Ayedatiwa were in that swearing-in ceremony. The weeks and months ahead are loaded. I do hope the new governor knows that. He has been lucky, as his name, Lucky, depicts. Among his peers, events have shown that indeed, his head is good, like his first name, Orimisan. And by his new status as a governor, he can beat his chest and say loudly: Ayedatiwa (the world has become ours). But how far can luck and good head carry a man? My little knowledge of our traditional religion tells me that the two elements are not sufficient enough to sustain a man in life. This is why I say so.

A man once approached his Babalawo to see what his Ori (destiny or head) has chosen for him from Eledua (the creator). The old Babalawo, whose appellation is Obelenke Abinu Yooro (Obelenke whose stomach is flat such that he does not habour hypocrisy), told the man that the head he chose is the good one (orire). But there is a snag. As much as the divination client chose a good head (or good luck), he equally picked a bad character. The Babalawo told his client that the bad character will eventually destroy the good luck (orire). To the Babalawo, the only man who will succeed in any endeavour is the man who combines good luck and good character. Character is a man’s pouch. It is from there he picks whatever he will become. So, what type of pouch is Ayedatiwa carrying? There is a native song that speaks to this. It says: “Uwa l’eniyan/character is the man. Ho je hun kan Pataki/it is one important virtue. Olori egbe ya mu ra su’wa o/our leader, please pay attention to your character.”

In case Ayedatiwa does not share the philosophy of the world as a mirror, here is yet another country-song: “Eni ri aye je (2ice)/He who lives large. Eni ri aye je ko ma pe eni kokan ni oniya/ he who lives large do not call another man the wretched of the world. A je aye ma wo ehin/he who lives large without a thought for the hereafter. Yiyi ni aye nyi/the world rotates. What is the significance of this song to Ayedatiwa. Just imagine if Akeredolu had carried on as if he would be governor for life and he stepped on people’s toes. What would be the attitude of those ones now? Again, imagine the Akeredolu’s political Hallelujah orchestra, who behaved as if they held a joint ticket with the late governor and undermined others. What are their lots now? Akeredolu, no doubt, had such in their numbers. The same set are in the new camp of Ayedatiwa. They will tell the new governor that it is his name that is working for him. They will encourage him to act as the owner of the world. But does His Excellency own the world? No, I answer! The governorship of Ondo State that Ayedatiwa is holding today is like the proverbial Edun Ara (Sango Thunder Stone). My people ask that if the owner of the stone can throw it away, why should the one who picked it turn it to an object of deification? If money were to buy death, Arakunrin Akeredolu would have bought it a million times. If goodwill were to keep death in abeyance, Aketi had more than a train-load of goodwill. If influence, personality, achievements in life, and reputation, were the sacrifices that death required to spare his life, Arakunrin Akeredolu would have mobilised those in their thousands. The man died because it is appointed unto a man to die. The world does not belong to anyone; it is no one’s property. So, when the “Maa jo lo mo nwo ehin e (keep on dancing, we are watching your back) team comes knocking to tell the new governor that he is an AYEDATIWA, let the occupant of Alagbaka Government House know that afowoba fiile ni ile aye – life is live and let others live. Happy New Year!

I have keenly followed the conversations around the ongoing radio transfer window in Ibadan and it has prompted me to pen this article, one that I should have written a long time before today.

A Yoruba adage (paraphrased) says "Sometimes, there is time, but you do not have anything to say; sometimes, you have something to say, but you do not have time". Today, aaye wa, oro naa de tun wa (I have a couple of things to say and I have time to say them).

Note that this piece is not a targeted attack on anyone, but a general assessment of the radio industry and the realities therein.

Let us delve into three critical issues.

POOR REMUNERATION

I say with confidence that the average OAP in Nigeria today is broke. Aside from his direct salary being ridiculously low, he also has to put in a whole lot of costly work to earn any extra kobo by the side.

Most OAPs you know earn far less than 150,000 in direct salaries. There are popular OAPs who earn less than 70,000, yet you think they are rolling in money.

For all the popularity and pomp that follow their names, most OAPs cannot survive two months without actively working. To add some more clarity, the average OAP in Nigeria today cannot finance personal medical care that goes beyond malaria.

It will also interest you to know that 80% of the OAPs you know cannot afford to buy cars or build houses with what they earn. We are aware of big names in the industry who bought cars on credit and almost ran into messy scandals because they could not pay on time. Stories abound.

Poor finances is why OAPs (broadcasters) began belittling the prestige of their profession by hustling brown envelopes and condescending gifts. This is why most OAPs have become 'boys' to people who should shiver at the mention of their names. Poor remuneration is also why most OAPs cannot survive a year without organizing events that they can use to raise money from their fans.

Poor remuneration is an issue across the media industry, in reality. There are Newspaper corresponents who earn #1,500 per published story. Oh yes! Find out from your friends in the media industry.

To make matters worse, salary review within the radio industry can be as far apart as six whole years! So, an OAP walks into a radio job while he was a bachelor, gets married in-between and started building a family, but will continue the same salary on which he lived a near-poverty life, even as a Bachelor.

His only solution to earning more, is to move frequently. Say he earns #50,000 in A-FM, he either waits 6 years for a salary raise, or move to B-FM and negotiate a higher pay with his years of experience and record in the industry.

This is why loyalty to a station is not in the dictionary of an average OAP. He wants to grow financially, but that is rarely in the thoughts of his employer.

LACK OF FREE TIME

The general idea of radio employers is that their OAPs have side hustles which they can use their radio brands to promote. But, where is the time though?

An OAP who airs well-researched content is already spending the bulk of his time on content research. By the time he finishes his task for the day, to be ready for the next, he is finished physically and mentally.

For some, their schedule of work is so thick that there is rarely any space left to even sleep. This explains to you why many OAPs are on drugs and other such performance enhancers. If he/she is not smoking, he is drinking...some are on illegal substances...just to keep the grind going! Ask them nicely, they will tell you.

Some of your OAP friends are 'four-men' in their places of work, combining several distinct roles. Do not say they should not have accepted such multiple responsibilities until you have worked in an industry for which you have so much passion and will not mind filling in the gaps so that work can progress.

Poverty is what happens when you earn poor wage and has little to no time left to pursue other sources of income.

A BLEAK FUTURE

One reason OAPs should earn very high wages is the short-lived relevance that an OAP enjoys in the industry. Footballers for example, earn so much money because their relevance in the profession is very short-lived. Within the short period that they are relevant, they earn so much to be able to plan a proper future for themselves beyond the game. This should rightly be the case for OAPs, but unfortunately, it is not.

For starters, media employers consider OAPs easily expendable. If a new kid comes on the block with more talent than an already established OAP, the Stations are quick to discard the old guy, just like in football. It is quite difficult for an OAP to remain relevant for up to 20 years. Some expire at 10 years of relevance. We imagine for a second that he saves all of the peanuts he earns in say, 15 years, he still would not have saved enough money to give himself an average life post-relevance.

I met a veteran very recently whose advice to me was to get my hands into more profitable ventures outside of broadcasting, to safeguard my future. He did not know that I am already taking care of that side of my life very carefully, but his advice touched me in very deep places. According to him, almost thirty years in the industry and he still cannot conveniently withdraw two million from anywhere. He said, "Dayo, move on as soon as you can, this industry promises you no future."

That's clear enough.

Remember what I told you about OAPs being unable to manage medical care beyond malaria? Imagine age-related ailments? That will be the very end.

_________

So, what is the OAP's solution to self-preservation?

Timed loyalty is one. Stay with a platform for as long as your financial realities can allow you. When you need more, move on, the transfer window is always open.

Strict insistence on favourable work conditions is another. Take on only the tasks that allow you have a life that the radio industry will gleefully rid you of, if you do not look after yourself.

Planning your exit is also part of the solution. From the day you become relevant in the industry, deliberately plan your exit. In being deliberate, you intentionally put necessary resources together to guarantee a great life for you after your exit. Those resources will include money, bankable knowledge, human network, etc.

Ultimately, define what growth means to you so that you do not get lost in the euphoria of "a n gbadun yin".

May Olodumare give all of us wisdom to make the best of our talents.

__
Adedayo Oderinu
Head of Current Affairs
Rave 91.7FM/Western Spring Television
Osogbo.

Cc:
Oluwatoyin Adeyemi
Radio Reporter NG
Ibadan Elites Broadcasters
Awa Ti Ibadan

There are Yoruba successful home-owning adults who were born and bred in London and have never been to Nigeria in their lives, yet they speak Yoruba. They bear some of the thickest Yoruba names you have hardly heard, even in Nigeria. Anuoluwabamise, Diekololaoluwa, Fehintola. And they don't shorten it to Anu, Olu, or Fehi. They bear it as it is, and if you can't pronounce it, that is your wahala, not theirs. Meanwhile, when they speak English, you must stand at attention. Their accent is kissable!

https://www.facebook.com/100057351074401/posts/pfbid0wUcsGcoJHyCcKWGBsKjJyTeaipE2LrgxvrjfMoeLcL6kU4WAzFaAmXPVPY8fDNPal/

They attend Aladura and Celestial Church (I kid you not!) without shame and with white garments. And every Sunday after church, they were Aso Oke with abeti Aja. Some of them still do odu Ifá. They have their local Babalawo, who does spiritual work on weekends and is an investment banker at Canary Wharf financial district on weekdays.

These are the people who have been making King Sunny Ade and KWAM 1 rich by regularly attending their shows in London and all over Europe. If you grow up in and around Peckham and Camberwell, you are likely to speak Yoruba.

Yet, you, who are based in Lagos and Abuja and have never seen how Murtala Muhammed or Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airports look inside, bear Anthony Martins, Campbell Collins, and Jennifer Peters. You speak through your nose and murder R in your fake accent. You attend Christ Embassy and fry your hair and dress on point (often on credit). Your native language is too local for you, and when your own mother comes to visit you from the village, you are embarrassed and even sometimes lie that she is your house help.

How many enslaved people were taken from Africa to the Americas? Tens of millions. But only the Yoruba enslaved people kept their culture. All other cultures were wiped out.

Do you see that Yoruba culture that you look down on? It is the highest culture on Earth.

#TableShaker

Moses Oludele Idowu's opinion.
Some expressed concerns are frighteningly undeniable 👇🏼


*The Politics of Collective Immiseration*

by

Moses Oludele Idowu

"There are only two families in the world, the Haves and Have-Nots."
- Miguel de Cervantes

"A man may imagine things that are false, but he can only understand things that are true."
- Isaac Newton

The large crowd I saw at Bourdillon, in front of the house of Bola Tinubu, President of Nigeria and one of the leading politicians who have heavily profited from politics in this political dispensation, made me sad and caused my heart to sink. The long line of crowds of multitudes waiting for crumbs from one of the biggest political profiteers of this era is a reality to what I have been saying for a long time. Poverty is real in the land. But this is not the issue; the real issue is, if nothing is done to arrest this drift, if nothing is done to redirect the economic program and policies in more progressive and practical ways, poverty will envelope everyone soon, - except the very rich.
I have been told and have seen it firsthand myself the truth of what many are saying that this is the worst Christmas in living memory. There is poverty everywhere.
"But there has always been poverty in Nigeria and Jesus said, 'The poor you will always have with you' ", some wiseacre who are poor in theology would say. Yes, there has always been poverty in Nigeria; but it is poverty that can be managed. Poverty that most often could be hidden. But now poverty is visible and no one can hide it.
Some well- dressed men gatecrashed to a christening ceremony of a child and begged the woman in charge of food to just give them soup, out of the leftovers. She should not even bother with meat but just only soup which they would take home to make garri. This is not in Hausa or Igboland, it happens here in Yorubaland, and they are Yorubas - land of culture and honour, now under siege of poverty, extreme poverty as a result of gross misrule by pseudo- progressives of APC.
A northern politician once said something that Yorubas ought to ponder seriously about if we are still a thinking people. He said if Bola Ahmed Tinubu had come before Obafemi Awolowo, most Yorubas would be almajiris today.
Did you hear that? I never heard a word so true from the mouth of a politician of the Fourth Republic. If destiny had pushed this man ahead and he was the first then most people in this Yoruba land will be beggars by now. Because everything will be priced out of the reach of the poor: housing, market, schools, colleges, universities... With scholarships only for children of those who are ready to 'ranka dede' him and lick the boot of his aides and foot soldiers.
All over Yoruba land and even Nigeria the reports coming are not good. Poverty, institutional, multi-level, multi- dimensional poverty is on the march and Nigerians are shrinking and shrinking into their holes and shells.
That poverty is on the march is not the issue. That is not the problem. Even as bad as things are they can be turned around. Poverty is not the issue. The real issue, the real trouble that I see now is that there is no political will and no intellectual capacity and moral sagacity to understand the real trouble bedeviling the economy, to arrest and address what Professor Eskor Toyo calls "Nigeria's basic economic deformities" and set this nation on the path of progress. And unless this is done, unless the economic war is won poverty will continue to spread and deepen.
It is not about prayer or confessing positive things. Often times we muddle these things because we neither understand true Religion or Theology and Logic. Theology is compatible with Reason, in point of fact, it is built on it. This is why the more Nigerians pray the poorer they become; because both leaders and followers are operating outside of Reason.
Can I be honest with you? Poverty will be worse in 2024 than even 2023 that people are crying about. Because there is nothing in place to avert recurrence, to arrest the march of poverty, to put people back to jobs, to put industries back in motion. Now Nigeria is on fast pace to de-industrialization. As the currency continues to weaken and more money required to purchase raw materials the prospect of survival will become narrower and foreign investors will begin to leave amidst other uncertainties.
The same ruinous policies that Buhari pursued for 8 years - borrowing, printing money ( ways and means), doling out N20,000 to imaginary beneficiaries and numbers and party members..., these are the same policies being pursued by this dumb government. Poverty will continue. Poverty does not end because someone wishes it or prays about it. This is where Nigerians miss it and why they suffer so much. Poverty is arrested by deliberate programs of attack, calculated schemes of intellectual, industrial, moral and financial empowerment, social stability and collective engagement. It requires an assortment of weapons to kill and defeat this hydra- headed enemy of man.
It is war. Poverty must be fought and defeated. Else, we will all lose. I shall come to this at the end.
The more debts increase the lower the quality of currency will be and the more will be required to service existing debts that are matured. Governors who are largely economic illiterates have mapped out strategies to borrow another 2-3 trillions in the new year. They have lost it. The federal government now shells out billions to states on palliative and the states too shell out to those they wish. That is what the largest community of black in the world has become: from hand to mouth. Just borrowing and sharing. An economy based on such transaction is an economy of doom for everyone. It is collective Immiseration.
In a way it serves the political class for people to be poor because it gives them leverage. An economically- empowered and liberated person cannot be told who to vote for. He cannot be pushed to do the bidding of politicians. Because he doesn't need them. Politicians fear and hate such category of persons. They are dangerous, too dangerous to their survival. They possess independent minds and Nigerian politicians dont like people with independent minds.
That is why democracy is actually designed and can only function best among people who are economically empowered and politically literate. Those two things: economic empowerment and political literacy are crucial.
Poverty serves the interest of Nigerian politicians. The crowds of have- nots thronging their houses and queueing on their streets gives them a sense of empowerment and self- assurance. It boosts their ego, that these "slaves" depend on them for survival and need their favour.
That is why they prefer to dole out cash, crumbs to crowds rather than govern well and wipe out poverty among the masses.
We have known cases where as crowds struggle to collect pittance lives were lost. It happened a couple of time in Kwara State during the era of Bukola Saraki where on each occasion as many as 30 people died. Over pittance.
I ask the man who shared the Bourdillon video whether the crowds got anything? Nothing, he told me. They got nothing.
They would trek back the long distance home on empty stomachs.
They have no need of them now. Elections are over and no election is in sight or coming till another four years. This people are cruel. They have no mercy. They don't care about people as they pretend to be.
Nigerians deserve their fate. Everyone gets what he deserves with leadership.
However, there is something dangerous about this which everyone needs to watch out for. If poverty is not tamed or arrested everyone will lose at the end. Even the rich will also cry. If nothing is done to arrest this rampaging poverty that is spreading all over the land; then there could be a boomerang effect. I don't know what it would be. When a river course is blocked and it is not allowed its natural flow, it will cut out another channel elsewhere and return with vengeance.
These children who are crying to sleep now because of hunger will grow up one day and may join the army or somewhere else. The teenager who is dropping out of university today because his parents could not afford the new fees won't forget and will not forgive. Nigeria is taking a big risk.
Who knows where a Jehu or Hitler or Rawlings may spring or come from?
Now there is hunger in the land. That much is certain. Soon hunger will turn to anger and anger will crystallize into popular action, and action to...

It is really amazing that Nigerians have to come to this sorry state under civilians. What excuse will politicians give now for the state of things? That the military spoiled everything and destroyed everything... And 25 years are not enough to undo what the military "destroyed"? Everything of value today that Nigeria has was built by the military - national hospital, Third Mainland Bridge, Aso Rock, Alscon etc. And they never sold oil for the fraction that is now selling today or in the last 24 years.
What is the excuse that poverty has deepened in the same period when oil sold for a hundred dollars per barrel under the politicians for a substantial period of time?
Pay day does come. Yes, there shall be a payday. I don't know how but I know eternal principles that cannot fail. Seedtime and harvest wont cease. The one who sows must also reap. Politicians will reap in full and with compound interest what they have sown in the last 25 years to Nigeria.

©️ Moses Oludele Idowu
December 26, 2023
All Rights Reserved

Godoverevery:
Lol.....you talking about where am from.

Baptist by day.......babalawo by night.

We are good people but the land is fully traditional.

I am from Ogbomoso and a Baptist to the core.
Your assumption of Babalawo by night is greatly flawed by you.

Stop generalizing, not everyone is like you.

As a young woman, there are four phases you will graduate to and where you people are now, is actually the third phase.
For a young lady, she will migrate from a girl and she will come to a lady, then she will grow into a wife and she will become a mother.
For a young man, you will grow from a boy, you’ll become a young man, you’ll become a husband, then you become a father.
Now, there is a difference for all of this age bracket. As a girl, your powers are in your looks, that’s why when you attained the age of puberty, you went to the mirror, you love your eyelashes, you started trimming them, you discovered that some features were growing on you that made you stood out and so at that point, your whole pride anchored on how beautiful you look and you will spend your time and your money to improve on your beauty. That is good but if you remain a girl, you have a problem.

Why is our society in crisis today? Because there are many married women who are girls and so, a woman at the age of 35 is a girl, all she’s looking at, is her looks and her beauty and because of that, there will be crisis at home, she won’t care. She’s a girl.
Some people’s children fall into a pool and die, you know why? They are chatting on Instagram, they are girls, they have not grown. You will grow from the stature of a girl, you will become a lady. Christian Daily Post. When you become a lady, your glory will shift from your body to your mind, because you too have something to contribute to society, that’s why your father, when you were a child, he calls you “my angel, my princess”, as you started growing, he put you in the school because he knows that you cannot appeal to your generation only by looks, you need something in your head and when you come to that level, you will discover that you will invest a lot to develop your mind but unfortunately there are many women in society that are girls, so they have nothing here(brain) and that’s why you find many naked girls on the street, the selling point they have is their body and so when you look at our society today, most ladies want to dress naked because they are still girls, their body is their only power but you see, if our society is working well, girls will grow to ladies and so ladies will have power in the mind, not only in the body.

Although the girlhood will still be there but they would have graduated to the mind, now a point will now come when you will mature from a lady, you’ll become a wife. You are not a wife because you are married, you are a wife to be found.. He say “he who finds a wife”, if you are not a wife, you cannot be married.
Now, who is a wife? A wife is a lady that have decided to submit to the ordinances of God and when you come into our society today, you hear of feminism movement, they don’t want to submit to God’s ordinance, so because a lady is working and she’s earning salary, she thinks she’s a boss. No, it’s not designed like that.
When God designed it, He made the husband head. That means, if you want to grow from the level of a girl, you must submit to your husband. He didn’t say “submit to men”, no.. He says submit to your husband. That means a woman can be a president but at home she’s a wife to the husband. Christian Daily Post. If you can’t come under God’s ordinance even if you have a PhD, you have not mature, you are still a lady. So God expects you to grow from a lady to becoming a wife. As a wife, you submit to your husband. It is when you become a wife that God can now entrust you with children, so that you become mother because now, you too can train people to follow that cycle and through you, you can raise people that God can depend on.

And then, when you come to the man, you grow from a boy.

A boy is selfish because a boy is full of ego, he wants to show that he has some muscle, he wants to prove a point and I can tell you, there are many married men today who are boys, so when they come home, even though their wife is suggesting what is right, their ego will not let them. And the guy is obviously foolish but he’s walking about “I’m the man of the house”, you are the man of the house but you are foolish, if we follow this your advice, the home will crumble. When you become mature, you will not be egoistic. It’s only a boy that is full of ego, he wants to prove a point. You need to grow from the level of a boy to becoming a young man. The Bible said “a young man is full of the word of God, he has overcome the evil one”.

So, when you become a young man, you take responsibilities and one of the major responsibilities you take, will be for your own weaknesses. So, if you are wrong, you will have the fortitude to say “I’m sorry” and you can say “I’m sorry to your wife I got it wrong, I am sorry”, because you are now a young man, you can take responsibilities.
As a young man, you should also be ready to provide for her needs, emotional needs spiritual needs and financial needs and every need that she has, if you don’t have the capacity to provide for her need, then you are not qualified to ask her out in the first place. So you need to understand that a young man is one who has the capacity to take responsibilities and when you now graduate from a young man, then you can become a husband. As a husband, you become a gardener. The word husband is from the word “a gardener”, that means if this lady is not better than she is now after 5 years, it means you failed because your job is to take over from where the father stopped. You must be a gardener and bring out her best potentials. The problem we have in many homes, is that boys are married, so because the lady is intelligent the guy is intimidated and so he wants to oppress her until he kills her confidence and the lady becomes a shadow of herself.

When you become a husband, the better your wife, the more glorious you are. So your goal is to make sure she is a thousand times better than she is, so much so that when her father sees her, he will say “ah I thought I was doing a good job” and you tell him “you tried, now we have taken over”, that’s what makes you a husband.
And it’s when you get there, that God can now entrust you with the responsibility of fatherhood, because now even if a child comes, you can manage him. If you are not mature, you cannot handle the mystery of marriage.

Why am I saying this? The devil is out to destroy marriages and the in-root the devil has into homes, is the immaturity of the couples and so what the devil will do is that, he will come and look for where the girlhood of the wife is and he will sit there and make the woman think her nails and her eyelashes are more important than her responsibilities, he will make the woman feel that, even though she’s married, all there is about her is her looks, and he will not let her submit to the ordinances of God and so because she doesn’t do that, crisis will now erupt internally.

You know it is said that the sheep may be on the ocean but the ocean can’t sink it, it is the water that is in the sheep that drowns the sheep. So the devil will come to look for the areas of your immaturity and plunder it.
The devil will come to find your boyhood, you may have two sons, he doesn’t care about your fatherhood, he will look for your boyhood and stir your ego and and on the strength of your ego, he will destroy your home. If you are not aware that home front and the family front is under attack, every time the devil stirs your boyhood, you will give him a chance because you will think you are winning the battle but at the end of the day, you will lose the war and your home will be destroyed. There are many homes today that are wrecked because boys and girls are getting married not husbands and wives.

It is common knowledge that many beautiful marriages in Nigeria, collapse few months or years after the families move to the western world. We equally read stories of men thrown out of their homes by their wives they brought over from Nigeria.

To be successful in your marriage in the western world, a man must manage his Nigerian wife that moved to the western world, the same way he handles his adolescent child. The moment a woman gets her Permanent Residence, it is natural that she begins to see life differently, and begins to express herself differently. Some of the things she kept within her heart that she had been tolerating because of her dependence on your visa, will no longer be tolerated. She will feel like a person who has gained her freedom from your influence. It is natural.

She will definitely have a lot of misconceptions about becoming an independent person that is not attached to your visa. She will try to explore so many things she may have been told by friends. She will want to press you sometimes aggressively or silently to adopt what she perceives to be the western approach to marriage. At that point, she is just like an adolescent who has just reached puberty. She will begin to express herself differently, and YOU MUST ACCEPT THAT.

She may stop cooking for you or doing the domestic things she used to do in the home. She may begin to live almost an independent life. Her general attitude towards you may change. She definitely feels like an independent being, and will begin to challenge you even in the most common things. She may begin to make certain demands that are strange to you as per how things are done in the home. She obviously would want to practise what she perceived to be the western style of doing things, which she believes to be superior. It may even worsen the moment she finally gets her naturalisation and passport. She may believe that she no longer needs you.

As a man, you must be careful in how you manage her during that period. You must allow her to enjoy the new found freedom. Any attempt for you to go head on or try to control her excesses, results to an accident, which may include getting yourself arrested or thrown out of your home. Common sense is required, the same you would apply when managing your teenage kids. Adolescence is a phase that comes and goes, same applies to her.

You must apply extreme self control, accept the changes, and give her time to find out some of her misconceptions she had about marriage in the western world. She will gradually begin to readjust to reality over a period of time, and return to her default state.

As a man, it requires emotional intelligence, especially self control and tolerance. If you don't manage that period properly, your marriage will collapse.

You the man must ensure that you are a role model to your wife in several ways. If possible, resist the temptation of sharing bills. Ensure that you earn enough to avoid dragging who pays what bill. Try and earn enough to foot your family's bills. She will naturally ask you to allow her pay a few.

Always improve yourself to make her see you as a go-to person, and that includes education and earnings. Allow her the choice to choose what she wants to take care of in the home. Never interfere in the choice of friends she wants to make; however, subtly advise her of the dangers you perceive. Never dictate for her, it will backfire.

Above all, try to be transparent with your finances. You don't expect her to be transparent with her finances, while she doesn't have a clue about what you earn. Also ensure that you play the role of a father to your children effectively. Don't also forget that her parents and siblings carry equal weight as your parents and siblings. You must balance your attention and spend on both families, almost equally.

Allow her the freedom she desires, she will come back to make you her best friend. Control will never work...can work for a short time, but will boomerang later.

https://www.facebook.com/1525879707/posts/pfbid02gFRufqsFTQCF9GaXTb5CJfhiA4LszrHFwPzeJJvVPBCuS41MJnEaTiy6Hr2VYTel/

What will you say for those of us who got #19800 without anything from our PPA years back?

I knew my wife from the first day of school.

We were in same department and did same course.

Never thought of her as someone I would ever marry as she was too quiet for me.

About a year to graduation, I moved out to live off campus and discovered she stayed same area.

That help me know her better.

I realized she was so kind and friendly.

Inoticed too I never see around her anybody who may pose as treat to me.

However, I was reluctant to mention my intentions. When I finally did, she wasn't sure herself but she gave a sign that she was very interested.

I was posted to Borno State, while she was posted to Taraba State for our National Youth Service Corp, remember then there was no mobile phone and She thought that will be end of the whole thing, but I had my plan.

Somehow I got to know exactly her area of primary assignment in one far village southern part of the state.

Three months into service, unannounced, I set to Taraba from Maiduguri.

The journey was terrified and risky as I had to pass through Jos in plateau state, unknown to me that there was a better route through Gombe.

I left Jos and got to Shendam and had to cross River Benue to a town known as Ibi in Taraba, my first time of crossing a river.

I arrived Wukari then moved to Takum around 9pm. (I was scared) I then took a bike to the village I thought I was going, got to the village (lisam) pass ten and the whole village had gone to bed.

Thank God not the era of boko haram/kidnappers.

The bike guy helped to locate the coppers lodge and the coppers I met knew her but I had to travel another 20min on bike to get to Rufu, her exact location.

The bike guy agreed to continue as long as would pay. I did and he dropped me in the village. We arrived around pass 11pm.

The moment she saw me, she hugged me, crying and was wondering why I had to take such risk.

All other copper woke and were surprised to see a love bird risked his life to search for love.

That was the day she said nothing will make her loss her life opportunity.

We got married a year after the service and was blessed with 2 kids.

Now 19th year of faithful marriage, never know another woman ever then.

This is our love story.

#howimetmyspouse

#adewrites