₦airaland Forum

sukkot:
brother this life is all about compromises. if you are tired of compromising its time to exit the stage. in the great beyond in the sky you may not need to compromise but down here its all about compromising. all your relationships you give a little to make it work. that includes relationships with mother father siblings landlord boss spouse etc etc. if you are tired of compromising i would suggest you exit the stage.

Exit asin stay single forever? Please elucidate.

SmartPlug:
I have been in a relationship a year and six month now
Never had sex with her but sometimes we cuddle when she visit me

To be frank sometimes I get a bored and tired of the relationship atimes and feel like I should explore else where
Each time I develop this feeling I always try to think about the Good side of her ignoring her flaws.

I use to share her some articles(nairaland and other platform) that could make our relationship stronger and recommend some movies too
Sometimes I send her some nice dress pic,nice hair pic that could fit her and tell her to always try to look classic for me.

I discovered that I get really pissed off with her and everybody around me mostly when I'm broke so I always let her know when I'm broke so she knows when to avoid unnecessary play or some sort of stupid conversation which I won't found interesting at that moment.

Honestly she doesn't like me in that kinda situation and she wouldn't like to avoid me so sometimes she help me out of the situation.

Have it on your mindset that she would be your future wife and not just your gf
Have a Good and reasonable Communicate with her often(Plan for her future)
Give her some ideas tell her to work on it
Ask her for result
Share with her some opportunities.
Share with her stories about relationships and ask for her view
Trust me you're building her and yourself to be a Good Partner

Let her know she should also be a lively Partner.
Above all Make God your 3rd Party

I have tried all this and more, and she even accused me of trying to change her and I wouldn't change for her, so I stopped, influencing someone positively sounds like manipulation from her perspective, the sudden loss of interest has alot to do with who she is and what I expect of her.

GboyegaD:
Then be patient and work on yourself while you wait. In addition, when you meet the right person, your instinct will tell you. It wouldn't be the butterflies you read about but there would be so and great conversations all the time. Also, you will realize you can have no judgment conversation. This doesn't mean each party accepts whatever the other wants all the time however, rejections of thoughts comes with great explanation from a point of view you both will appreciate

Your comments are the most meaningful I have seen so far.

sukkot:
you are not as intelligent as you think you are. intelligence also involves being able to compartmentalize people and to meet them where they are. meaning you can get down or rise up to any intelligence level and vibe on that intelligence level. how do you think these billionaires are able to maintain over 10 year relationships with their wives ? you think their wives have anything intelligent to say ? but you have to meet them at their level and learn to enjoy that lower level of intelligence too. THATS CALLED COMPREHENSIVE INTELLIGENCE IS THE ABILITY TO ADAPT TO ANYONES LEVEL OF INTELLIGENCE

And who told you I didn't make compromises, I am just tired of compromising, if that makes me dumb so be it.

tammie24:
I think you are too idle
That may be the problem
Do something with your time
Take your mind off the relationship from time to time
Get busy!

Idle? Nigerians never cease to amaze me, okay you're entitled to your crazy assertions.

cybriz82:
I can relate bro..na when she dey with me I dey love her like no tomoro.but d moment he travel out of my sight.i dn forget her b that.if she come back we Continuel where we stop n if she liv again I go forget her again.

This one will call me sometimes and not say anything, then I'll be trying hard to start a conversation, how will you call someone and not say anything?

megatran:
We share some commoness and you must be an ambivert. Are you based in Lagos?

Not based in Lagos.

GboyegaD:
Perhaps, you go into relationships for all the wrong reasons. Learn to connect and date for real reasons and know (not sex wise) the person you are dating.

If I may ask, what connects you to a lady?

If I decide to consider that I'll never find anyone to date because my expectations are high, so far I haven't met my ideal lady.

Available.

Available.

Available.

Onyiiobi7735:
Bro,maybe you are having psychological issues and need to see psychologist as soon as possible. Becomes if you don't, the problem would continuous to repeat itself.
Did you ever experience a very traumatic event in the past?

No traumatic experience whatsoever.

Angy55:
Na them

Who be them.

nighter:
You're a narcissist. Go on and read on it. Idealisation, devaluation and discard.

Wow, thanks for analyzing someone you know nothing about and thinking you're right.

Yusufisraelj:
Yeah same here brother, but e no get as e be find a way, my add maths teacher go say don't prolong the evil day, just do it, Lols. But find what works for you, maybe her friend or just be direct.

You may pray about it or seek counsel.

Lol I would take time to reflect and do it when we're alone, after spoiling her on Valentine's day.

Yusufisraelj:
Your honesty is real, you're real G, see just man up up and tell her your problems. There's no two ways about it, don't linger her pain.

I am cool telling her, it's how she'd react that scares me, she might make a scene, curse me or attack me, and me I avoid drama and embarrassment at all cost.

lionphil:
The same way you've written this post, copy it and send it to her.

Are you insane?

Onyiiobi7735:
Nawa oo! More reasons girls should learn to stop offering sex in a relationship. At least if the man breaks up with her,she has absolutely nothing to lose and she can easily forget all and move on.

Lol why is everyone fixated on the sex, a guy has stuff to loose too you know?

Tejumola856:
I’ve tried to be in relationship many times but it doesn’t work for me, I will just get tired all of the sudden within a couple of months, I can’t even point out a reason I get tired of it, I dated at least 6 girls last year which I later breakup with them without a reason.

What I discovered is that I always love them in the beginning to the extent that I will promise them heaven and earth, at the end of the day i will get tired of them.

The issue now is that, I met this girl last year December during the Christmas, I’m not going to lie, I truly love this girl, I asked her out and she agreed to be in relationship with me, this girl has been loyal to me, she’s always come to cook for me, she has once washed my clothes, I found happiness and joy in her but now, I’m having a feelings of breaking up with her, I stop calling or texting her, I don’t even know what’s going on in my life right now but my mind keep telling me to break up with her cus I need to be free.

Please over to you married men and those who are in relationship, how does it work out for you? I don’t understand my life again!

Exactly what's happening to me rn, currently I have a text from her asking babe are we good? And I can't say yes because I know that's a big lie, I've been trying to breakup with her but I don't have a tangible reason, she's been good and everything there's really nothing I can use to breakup with her, then my conscience is acting funny because she predicted last week that I would break up with her when I texted her that we need to talk and it'll feel like I'm now discarding her because I used her( that's what they think sex is right? Using?) but that's not the case, I am the problem I know, but she won't understand, right now I just want to be single, and free, the calls and care is too overwhelming even though I loved her from the start and the relationship is barely two months old, I literally need space even though the poor girl doesn't deserve such bullshit treatment from me.

SSaintkay:
Oya nah boss, make we run am sharply

No bro

Buy me

SSaintkay:
I fear God nah, I dey talk base on my pocket

If I sell this phone to you at that price won't you be scared that it might be a stolen phone?

kanayoNickel:
how cn i get your contact. or call me with this line

My contact is on my profile.

Hey

Available.

SSaintkay:
60k?

Have the fear of God.

Very much available.

Buy me.

Buy me.

dauntless15:
Available

.