₦airaland Forum

Sheistoopretty:
N!geri@n M£N are Uselezz..... All of Them

You are sure you will get married.

Persephone1:
By they i will like to assume you meant women because literally women make the whole efforts in keeping marriage together, some men do too but it's not common. The reason most marriages fail and break up is because women aren't putting that extra effort anymore which i won't blame them for because it's TIRING. Fighting for who doesn't want to be won, enduring emotional abuse, doing all to create and maintain a home with someone who doesn't see anything wrong in bringing third party, building while the other party is destroying. And the in-laws, society, people.... Lol nahhhhhh marriage takes a toll on a woman who is in it alone. I don't blame women for not investing in marriages anymore after all they are not their husbands' blood according to most men.

Everyone has a deal breaker, for me it is cheating and to be honest I'm not sure if I can forgive it or let it go and pretend like nothing happened. It's not INTENTIONAL it's NATURAL for me. The image of the man's lips kissing another and his member in another's deepsea will always flash through my mind whenever we are together. I love my man pure and chaste same way I am, whatever he had done in the past remains there when with me . And cheating to me also mean "You weren't enough, you are not worth growing with so I find another" . That is betrayal . I really doubt if I can forgive a cheating partner. It cuts too deep for me.

So if any other woman/ man feels same, I'd be hypocritical to think or encourage him or her to stay. If you want a lasting marriage, don't do what you don't want others to do to you.

This is a perfect opinion for me and a lot of people. You are truly intelligent and u just earn a follower.

God bless you more with wisdom

Persephone1:
The truth is no woman forgives cheating. Just like the vivid presentation the husband gave of his wife's cheating, women feel the same too the only difference is women tend to distract themselves and focus on the kids why still in the relationship,yes they are that emotionally intelligent and of course society normalizes and downplay men's infidelity.
But trust me, if you want to kill the love, peace, friendship and normality in your marriage, cheat on your wife. No matter how much you try to patch your marriage will never be the same. You become a public property to her and there will be limit to how far she can go for you in life.

As for payback cheating, lol it's just opportunity to cheat and be half right. Complete waste of time, risk and emotions in my perspective. You are just doing yourself In the long run it won't heal you but darken you. This applies to both men and women.
If you can't forgive, walk out! Don't deceive yourself.

God bless you

Justkatty:
Sorry
No time for that.
No offense.

Lolz.
Non taken!

RHESUS FACTOR INCOMPATIBILITY

Aside knowing your genotype,

It is very important to know your Rhesus factor.

Know who your rhesus matches with.

Rhesus factor incompatibility is one of the leading causes of miscarriage today.

Its not always about your village people or any evil spirits.

Get educated and be informed.

Rhesus (Rh) factor is a protein that can be present on the surface of the red-blood cell.

People that have the Rh factor are Rh positive (+), those who do not have the Rh factor are Rh negative(-).

The + and - in front of the blood group is the rhesus factor.

So we have A+,A-,O+,O-, B+,B-,AB+,AB-.

Rhesus factor is genetic, it's gotten from the parents emphatically the man.

If you are Rh positive eg (A+,B+,O+,AB+) you are safe, but if you are negative eg (A-,B-,AB-,O-) you're not.

If you're a male Rh-, you are safe, if you are a female, you aren't.

If you, a Rh- woman gets pregnant for a man who is Rh- you are safe, but if you get pregnant for a man who is Rh+ you aren't.

Hope you're getting it?

Most people are Rh positive only very few are negative.

The possibility for a Rh- woman to find a Rh- man is slim. Very slim!

Let's assume Caroline is Rh- and during her school days she aborted a pregnancy, the man who got her pregnant is Rh+, obviously her baby was Rh+.

During abortion, the Rh+ blood came in contact with her Rh- blood.

That was the beginning of her problem.

Once Rh- comes in contact with an Rh+, certain antibodies are activated.

This antibodies are activated to stop anything they think is a threat from coming into the body. E.g a baby.

A Rh- woman with activated antibodies would keep having miscarriages, the antibodies would keep fighting and taking off any foetus.

The woman might end up childless and if not properly informed might think she is under a demonic oppression.

Women with activated antibodies are RH sensitized and once this antibodies are activated it can never be deactivated until the woman dies.

Antibodies are activated in a Rh- woman by abortion, ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage and child birth.

During child birth of a Rh- woman who got pregnant by a Rh+ man, children inherit their rhesus factor from the man so once the baby's Rh+ comes in contact with the woman Rh- during delivery the antibodies are immediately activated,

so after that particular child birth the woman would keep having miscarriages because the activated antibodies would as usual fight off any foreign body.

The antibodies can be stopped from being activated by administering an injection known as Rh Immunoglobulin to a negative woman .

The injection is administered 28wks into pregnancy, 72 hrs after delivery, after ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage or abortion.

If it's not administered and the antibodies are activated, it would never be deactivated.

Mothers tell your girls and sisters, a Rh- girl must be extremely careful.

Because of the very small number of Rh- people, it's extremely rare to find a Rh- man.

The possibility to get pregnant for a Rh+ man is high.

Once she gets pregnant for a positive man and rushes to have a quick abortion, she might have as well jeopardized her life.

Apart from this, a woman with a negative rhesus factor has no problem.

it can however be controlled with Rh Immunoglobulin injection.

A Rh- man or woman cannot receive blood donation from a Rh+. it would lead to death.

It's no longer all about genotype, blood group, or HIV status,

Compatibility checks are very important.

Copied....

reddingtonblack:
In marriage its no longer a question of "why should i be around you or i don't know what you are doing ?
Those question are for dating/courtship level before we move into marriage,
1.Trust must have being eatablished
2.You must have known your partner to a larger extent before you walk down the aisle ..

A yoruba adage says you don't walk into water and start screaming "cold" i.e you don't walk into marriage and start forming sherlock holmes on your partner.

A yoruba adage also says, there is no point being friends with someone you've always suspect.

As far as LIFE is concern 100% visible, couple can't share there lives 100% there are somethings you won't just share not becos you don't love your partner BUT it is in your own best interest. roger that

Like i said the personality of your partner will determine the range of openness, i don't know why anyone will hide car key but phone is personal, your wife or kids can continue using your car after you die but your phone number dies with you

You know Phone number does not die in Nigeria. The service provider would simply give the number to someone else.

Yes, those points you mentioned must have been established before marriage. But what of a situation when there was pretense during the courtship either from any of them. Some years ago, a woman killed her husband for allegedly marrying another wife. About 10 years ago as well, a man killed his wife over infidelity. My point is, if you know you can't cope or manage the situation with your spouse, leave!

If I can't share my live with you 100%, why are a couple?

Note: I really appreciate your takes and intellect on this issue.

sprag007:
What if this is a test?
She didn't cheat on you but just trying to see your reaction to what she forgave you for.

Or

She actually did.

Worst case scenario, you can forgive her knowing that you can't forget.
For your own sanity and mental health.


I have PTSD for yellow dresses cos I was cheated on. I nearly committed a heinous crime because of woman.
I have forgiven her since but I can't forget.
Yellow (ashawo) gown dey always trigger me.

hhmmmmm. So sorry for what you went thru.
That is what I am saying, Men don't forget and it will be a problem in the union or marriage. The best thing is to divorce.

zexy2030:
Women dont think before doing some things.

Always check the content of the kind of woman you want to marry. That's her lifetime orientation then give her 6kids..she will be scared to cheat, till the kids are grown

Thats not true. Even if she has a dozen or a score, if she wants to cheat, there is nothing stopping it.

Justkatty:
Not at all
That's why you keep hearing some men saying "Men don't benefit anything in marriage"
A woman may accept to carry all responsibilities, if her husband tends to be fo*lish, at the end who suffers the most at the long run? if you want to be sincere to yourself
You see, one of the reasons you don't need to misbehave and think you can get away with it.

I wished you can explain further on point of yours. I think it is intriguing.

carolingian79:
I don't believe in payback cheating. I don't even believe in cheating to begin with. If she wants to cheat on me, she's free to do that but I will never not follow her down her path of willful stupidity

So, what would you do if you got to know she cheated on you?

reddingtonblack:
They are "SUPPOSED" to be, buh the reality and fact remains they are two entities.

As much as couple should share an open Life, 100% is not feasible, as humans there are one or two things you will hold back which is best for your interest.
You know your spouse has insecurity and jealous issues ... definitely you shouldnt tell such partner every advances you get outside, if not for anything atleast for peace.

100% is not feasible but the personality of the partner determines the range of openness

Yes, two entities coming together to become one. Why should I be around you if I don't trust you? Why should I be around you if i don't know what you do or doing?
They are to be one.

Yes, 100% might be feasible but that is the goal. But if the wife or the husband is keepings little things like phones, car keys away from the wife, then there is a trouble somewhere.

Little21:
There is privacy. Just because you are married, doesn't mean you have to know all that's going on in her life.
You have your life to live, and she also as her's as well.
There are many things going on in one's life. Family issues, business issues.
Must you know all that's going own in your partner's life? Mustn't she have a say in her life?
As long as, you are both doing okay in your own family together, live her own personal issues.
There must be amount of privacy in one's relationship. Don't go around letting your partner know all that's going on with you.
It doesn't work like that.

Then that has defeated the purpose of marriage. They should be one but not two separate bodies. Any issues from both families should be handled together.

Hollyharjii:
The simple answer is 'NO'
But, if there is no genuine love then the answer will be 'YES'

Hmmm

Lalami3232:
No privacy

They are supposed to be one.

Reminderz:
for your own peace of mind, don't check your wife's phone... and I wouldn't expect her to check mine as well... what's in my phone is my business because she's not the reason why I bought it in the first place and I would be conducting lot of businesses including private ones in it so I don't expect her to start ransacking my phone..

but one thing is, if you show her you're too caring or insecure to know who she's chatting with or contacting, she will either use it against you by coming up with other plans to conduct her "business" and make it seem she's not cheating or she will take your love for granted because when a man is loved up and invested in the commitment, that's when he start monitoring his wife around..

one tip is, always let her free her mind when she's with you, even when you see her chatting, as long as she's not interfering with your business or hindering what she's suppose to do, act totally unconcerned... if she sees that you don't care about this, she will one day unfortunately drop her guard and you'll be able to catch her red-handed... or if you notice she's unnecessary secretive with her phone, like she doesn't even leave her phone down with you for any moment or by putting her phone on flight or DND, then something is fishy.. she's either cheating or planning to...

Women are much smarter than most men, she might be cheating and you'll never suspect her nor will she ever leave any traces on where you can easily find them, like her phone.. so just because she leaves her phone with you doesn't always mean she's totally faithful, you have to stay sharp... most men that caught their wife cheating never saw it coming...

You are absolutely right

If you wife or your woman tells you she is "entitled to her privacy" after she caught you checking her WhatsApp messages. What does it mean?

Is she saying she is keeping something away from the husband? or that she is keeping extra marital or another relationship.

elmagnifico411:
Oil dey your head, brother. You're a real G. Op messed up by confessing to his wife, walahi.. if he'd denied no matter how glaring the evidences, there's every possibility that his wife wouldn't have paid him back this way.

I don't think it is a payback. I think the woman has been cheating for long but was caught late. Even if the man didn't do it, she would have done it too. Remember the OP said she is a very beautiful woman.

Justkatty:
You're even lucky she didn't kill you

If you're had Stayed faithful in your marriage, I don't think, the thought of leaving her kids and travel that far would have even come to her mind.

I keep saying it, know who you marry.
Some women may pretend to forgive you, waiting for the right time to strike, some may forgive and forget just because of the kids.

In marriage, it takes 2 to paddle.

I have never seen an award given to an unfaithful partner before.
The way you feel you cant be eating one soup everyday as man, some women feels same too.

But at the end of the day, it is the women that is at the receiving end. They tend to lose all.

Very Very!
The woman has crossed over!

Pupanchy:
This is deadly if u don't avoid such woman

Stephen2324:
"If you cheat on me, I will cheat on you back."

That's how modern women damage themselves further and think they're punishing a man.

Reason why divorce is spreading like wildfire

Newdawn30:
So because of that we shouldn't go out with pretty ladies? That's not a good enough reason

See all women cheat, I even dare say it's ugly ladies that cheat the most (they need male attention to boost they ugly ass ego) and it's painful when dey cheat on you because, you don't see it coming. The beautiful ones respect themselves more

hhmmmm. There is a truth in this too

Tyrone34:
Rum look marriage be like cage oo you will no longer have your freedom to associate and to top am up if you marry woman when nor dey forgive just know say you don enter one chance.am talking from experience and I have more then ten years I regret that act of marriage each day.

We are together in it.

eazzzy1:
This isn’t revenge cheating. Even if the OP never cheated she would still have cheated. Some of your wives are getting ready for the return of their abroad based lovers this Christmas. They have perfected plans on the when, how and where.

If a woman’s cheating catches you by surprise in this decade, you must be living in Pluto. If person knack your own, find another person own knack.

This came to my mind too. Even if the husband didn't do it, she would still have done it.

Women!!!

mischief003:
The institution of marriage has been heavily bastardized by this current batch of marriageable adults, to an extent that it is already discouraging we the future batch of marriageable adults from engaging in such venture.

Sincerely!

Jeon:
No wonder the Man, said he cried like a baby.



Pls this is getting boring.
Sin is sin and don't expect much from a partner if you can't give in what you're expecting.


@2, same way we love GOD, and sin against him and still run to mosques /churches every Friday and Sunday, to worship him.



So funny!

Hhmmmmm. May God help us all

Jeon:
Same way he has been doing it not until she saw the text like he did through the call.

Yes. You are right but women are emotional being while the men are logical. A man can decide to have sex without putting any feelings into it. that is , no attachment but it is not the same with a woman.

A man can sleep with a lot of women and still love his wife unapologetically, but a woman cannot do that without getting attached. And once the man gets to know, the marriage is over already. Because it will always be playing in his head.

Jeon:
I'm such you can see that Divorce was written on my first post.

For a woman to fly with her lover to another country for 7 days, they have been doing it for long until she was caught by the husband. The man is hurt but he will get over it. Just as you said, Divorce is imminent.

No vawulence here pls!

luminouz:
Jeon, will you shut it?

Where is your husband or you wan cheat too?

I go comot your nöse!!!

luminouz:
Let them come. We'll fight them together. I am Spartacus and you are Gannicus or is it Oenomaûs?

We go finish them

Alawada

Jeon:
What home?
So funny. You think she cared about that?.
There's no home right from the day cheated.

True. But now, she broke the carmel's back. There is no coming back from it.

Jeon:
Yes,Its better than deceiving themselves.

facts! They both lost the marriage already, but she lost her home.

Jeon:
This is what she felt and imagined all those years. She mirrored back your reflection.


Your marriage is no longer there for years!!!!.
Get a divorce and move on, this is what you gets if you can't appreciate what you have.



This is a tit for tat.
You are lucky she showed you on time, cuz the payback are normally when the man is weak in financial, physical or health aspects.

So silly of you.

So, u supported divorce? hhmmmm