₦airaland Forum

RIP sir.

Two sets of different laws dey.

Where is their "hisbah" police now?

Lexusgs430:
Ayo ni ó........

Ayo iro leleyi o!!!

Habatically!!!

Ki lo de?!!!

I don't even know where to start from.... I'm so very sad right now I feel like dying. I think I made a wrong choice or I'm the one with the problem.

Please read till the end. I'll try to be as truthful as possible and I will deactivate after writing.

I'm a writer and I work from home. I've worked in several places before now without any success. My husband always insist that I get a full-time job even when I make 80-100k working from home. I've never made that much since I was leaving home to work for people. I've always contributed my quota to the home.

I don't want to work for anyone because of the kids. I want to save and get a side business. Hubby keeps relegating what I do like it's not a job.

I don't know why, but his mum just doesn't see anything good in me. She's said it on many occasions that no matter your level of education as a woman, it will all end in the kitchen. She always want to know everything about me from hubby and he never disappoints.

He once told her when I started writing that i wasn't earning much (which was true) and I was mad at him because she started making snide remarks about what I do whenever she has the opportunity. Hubby would even support what she says and they'd sometimes laugh together. He never tells them something good about me.

Hubby has once told me that my certificate is useless. He's also once mentioned that after building his house and anything happens to him, he'll be happy that his family (he always refers to his parents and 7 siblings as his family) will have something to share. He used his younger brother as next of kin, so I'm not surprised.

I forced him to buy the property whereas his mum says he's still young and doesn't really have need for property (he's in his mid thirties).

Before we got married....

My family betrayed me when I ought to get married to him because the first born of our home said she will have to get married first and our wedding couldn't hold as a result ( I was already pregnant). I wasn't happy about this and I told my husband how disappointed I was with what my sisters and mum did.

I thought he had my back. I thought he'd always have my back. But I was wrong. He and his mum ended up saying I must have been a terrible person for my sisters to stop me from getting married.

I have a younger sister in school. She usually comes to spend the holidays with me and take care of the kids. Last year, hubby's 4th younger brother came to live with us because hubby wants to help him with his job. He works with hubby and they come home together.

I noticed some changes when he arrived:

Hubby will be with him and they'll discuss until 11 or 12 midnight before coming to the room to meet me.

He doesn't clear his plates after eating ( when I complained, hubby would rather pack the plates himself than tell him)

He would watch whatever station his brother wants to watch and even stop my kids from watching cartoons. (Hubby didn't see anything wrong in this still)

Hubby starts putting on the gen earlier than before and put it off when the light is back. He doesn't do this before. He'd always give us time and off it without considering my little children. If I buy fuel, he'll start saying I'm becoming proud.

He always satisfies his brother and we never eat without meat (before his brother arrived, we use to eat without meat on many occasions)

I'm a very emotional person and I dislike cheating. I called my husband's attention to these things but he always replies "you nag too much. You're a very troublesome person". He says he never nags about my sister, so why should I disturb his brother?

I decided to keep quiet at this point but I wasn't happy that he was treating his brother better than I and his kids.

I spoke to him harshly one of the days his brother wasn't around after exhausting all manners of communication. I said he doesn't have sense and doesn't know how to balance things in his home. The next thing he did was to hit me and beat me up.

He called his mum and dad after this and I heard them laughing on the phone. It was a very terrible day for me. I packed a few things the next day and left the home. My mum, uncle and everyone started telling me to go back to him (after warning him against doing such next time).

Everyone were concerned about the kids. My mum told me to go back but ensure that I keep quiet and respect him and that I shouldn't cause problems between him and his siblings since he appears to love them more.

I am not happy right now. I'm very very sad. He doesn't appear to be remorseful about the whole thing even though he begged me to return. In fact, I had to tell my people that I wasn't going back until he begs me to return before he apologized. He was even laughing at me when I was leaving. Then when I got back, he said:

"I don't know what happened now that you're packing your load. I don't know who will marry someone with kids". He's always saying nobody will marry someone with kids.

My heart sank when I heard these words. He laughed as he said this. Now, I don't understand what's going on because this was a man that paid my school fees in 400 level, he was my first love, I loved him like life itself, I helped him secure his present job and he never appreciates me for that.

I always speak highly of him before my family. I respect him a lot before now but I don't even understand him anymore. He doesn't seem to care about my happiness.

Or am I being selfish? I only wanted him to do things the right way. Is it a crime to love your wife and children like you love your siblings?

His brother left after the fight and my sister never returned too (I told her not to). I don't know what he told his brother.

After the fight, his mother lied against me but I was lucky to put the call on record since it's not her first time of doing it. She said I abused her and threatened over the phone (which was all lies). She also reported me to the head of their family and my mum.

I later played the recorded call to hubby and his dad, but they still blamed me. Hubby didn't even admit that his mum was wrong. I have always known his mum doesn't like me but I never knew she could lie against me.

Now, mum is telling me to be patient and stay for my children. I have saved up over half a million and I'm starting to think of leaving to a very far place where he can not reach me and my children. He doesn't seem to bother or care about us when we left when he beat me and I'm beginning to think he doesn't value us. Although, he promised not to repeat it again.

I'm dying inside and I don't think I can take this anymore. Hubby puts me down in front of everyone like I'm a nobody. I'm an introvert. I don't talk too much but hubby is am extrovert. He keeps making me feel less of a human and I'm losing it.

He keeps blaming me for making his brother leave and he doesn't seem to understand my points at all. I believe no one is perfect but is it okay for a man to support his siblings and mum without mentioning their faults, while mentioning his wife's faults to everyone that cares to listen?

Please let me know if there's any better ways I would have handled these issues. Can I survive in this marriage? My love for him seems to be reducing by the day and I'm not emotionally balanced. I'm not happy at all and he doesn't even seem to care.

He goes about his daily business as if we don't have issues. Is it because I've never denied him sex? Is he taking me for granted? He will only apologise when he needs sex and go back to status quo. He even forces me sometimes.

I don't even know who I am anymore. Am I a bad person? I've always been the up and doing wife of the family. I'm the first wife and his mum maltreat me unlike other wives because their husbands shouts at the mum not to kill their wives. My husband doesn't care if I'm overworked, as long as it's his mum. I think I've been used and I don't worth a thing anymore. I'm dying emotionally.

Please dm me....

One day one day.....

Ori ade kii sun ita....

rollandben:
That's called "Oju aye" in Yoruba land
but in English language its called" Eyes of the world"
Na Oju aye Pasuma dey do!!
Pasuma is doing eyes of the world!

Can you please explain more?

Does that mean it didn't come from his heart?
He just wan feel among?

About time.

Good luck to you.

Cho cho cho....

Be like say the one wearing black pants na d recipient..

He dey talk too much.

Massdamm:
Lol...

e be things

Lol...

You too sabi am?

No song from him dedicated to the remembrance?


Aaaareeeaaaaa!!!!!!!

Area!!!!!

Awa sese ti Europe de ni o paso!!!
Popsie Aaliyah....

*in Paso voice

Eeyah....

Sorry o.

It is well.

wumi2017:
,,,,,bad belle

Talk 2 me

MickzyDonald:
Yh, are you not the guy that took my pen home Huh...First Bank tho

Lol...

Funny you

wumi2017:
Easter is okay

Okay, cool.
How we for do now?

HMU...