₦airaland Forum

steph7: Why do you assume that the wife is isn't level headed, even the most level headed people still have their limits. I believe the wife is level headed because its not easy to take five years of BS

The same reason why most posters assume it was the sister who caused the trouble. How do you know its not the wife giving the BS

The OP didnt state who assaulted who before most of you immediately deduced its the sister at fault

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coogar: how do we know his financial status hasn't changed since then? would a dependent woman leave her matrimonial house? we have seen wives put up with multiple wives in the past - they accepted the situation because they are dependent!

this madam left because of her SIL - common sense dictates she's very very financially buoyant. my spider senses even say she's the financial lifeline of this family. she moved out because she knows the hubby cannot foot the bills in the house and he would soon need her help!

According to the OP, He was living with the sister before he married.

So they go back to his pre-marital arrangements

coogar: husband is yearning for her cos the weakling cannot foot all the bills - his bank account has taken a dent since april. if the wife does not return by august, start praying cos he would soon be evicted from his house. by then, the sister would know how to find her route back to owerri!

But this man was paying the bills of the house somehow before the wife moved in

steph7: yes!! during the camp(in my state) in NYSC, people are taught various hand craft such as bead making, baking etc. This girl should get off her sorry ass and move out!. On a side note, I know a SIL who stayed with her husband wife till she got married, no issues. the reason was because she knew her place in the home. When the SIL had some marital issues, the brother's wife was the one who stood firmly by her side. the wife has tried abeg 5 years is enough!

Maybe in your scenario the wife was accommodating and level headed unlike in the OP's scenario

greatgod2012: @dayokanu, it wasnt stated by the op that his wife is the troublesome type. If it was the wife that is troublesome, the wife wont pack out of the house, the wife will taa tan with the sister, it will be like "were pade were", but in this case now, the wife packed out because shes tired of the trouble of the SIL, she doesnt have that strentgh for exchanging blows and kicks everytime.
Also, if the wife is the troublesome one in the house, the man wont be yearning for her return
And also, the man that should have put things right is a weakling, so, what do you want the wife to do To stay behind and get killed by the SIL or what
May God help us o

Maybe the wife is the troublesome one who is using the "I would pack out with kids" as a weapon to get the husband to kick out the sister

You voted in the election, you watched the counting and later remembered he was imposed on you

What a shame.

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coogar: a wife takes the status of her husband automatically...
why is patience goodluck at aso rock? did you vote for her? why is she referred to as "her excellency"? don't make me dislodge your jaw with a claw-hammer, abeg!

my wife is a boss to my junior sister!

Are you a boss to your younger ones?

GEJ can read the budget and Pass a Bill, Patience cant do any presidential duty

steph7: The sister has can go back home to Owerri, she just wants to stay here because she is looking for jobs in lagos. which to me isn't an excuse, when these days every thing is done online

So come and write aptitude test in VI is an excuse, Go and attend interview in VI is an excuse?

Before you get a job you might need to attend 10 aptitude tests and 10 interviews

You mean the brother should pay her fares 20 times from Owerri to lagos?

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bukatyne: I am sure that while slapping you are mentally typing your resignation letter.

Oya na, let the sister slap back and pack out.

So how did the wife become the sisters boss in this situation?

steph7: Ok, let's assume for a moment that the wife is the trouble maker. If I were the sister, I would happily leave the house have some peace. the whole issue still boils down to the sister leaving the house.

The OP said the sister has nowhere to go, Doesnt know anyone in Lagos. or should she just move under Fadeyi bridge?

bukatyne: Why should the SIL do something that will make her slapped? Let's say she's slapped, let her rub it and use it as a point of prayer to God to do her own.

If her brother slapped her, will she slap him back?

Now the person slapped is the victim. No wonder we are Nigerians. Thats why when someone is beaten or abused the first thing we ask is what did you do to get abused. When a girl is rapped the question is what did you do to get rapped, when your house is broken into the question is what did you do for your house to be broken into

So when she is beaten, she cant defend herself again

if her brother slaps her and she can overpower the brother hell yeah she would slap him back

coogar: attack who?
i did not marry a miscreant, abeg! every husband must know the kind of wife they married. you have to trust your partner - that's the foundation of any relationship.

Is it possible your sister was born with a "miscreant" gene?

bukatyne: If you have an impossible boss what do you do?

If my boss slaps me, I slap back

coogar: why are you assuming the wife is the trouble-maker? what is to say the illegal resident isn't the harbinger of chaos? if anyone attacks my wife, she's attacked me and i would deal with such individual accordingly.

the sister has to go......

WHile most on here are assuming the sister is the trouble maker?

So what of when your wife attacks someone?

bukatyne: If the wife is the unreasonable one, the sister would have found her cube root. No matter how the wife is, the sister has to bend for her or pack out!

By bending for her you mean the wife slaps her and she turns the other cheek?

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bukatyne: Bayo,

Let's be sincere. Imagine this same sister was living with her elder sister the whole community trained, will she watch her BIL walk out because of her?

Now tell me what you want the sister to do.

The wife attacks her she defends herself, The wife insist she leaves the house she has nowhere to go in Lagos

What do you want her to do to please this wife and the brother?

bukatyne: Sorry I'm mobile so I can't type much.

The sister answers to both her brother and his wife. It's their home and she is a guest. If the wife was placed in her rightful position, all this wahala will not happen.

It all depends on upbringing anyways. Some people were not trained to respect other people's spaces and know their boundaries.

How do you know its the sister that has a problem with the boundaries and not the wife who is just being plain unreasonable?

slimyem: It is hardly news and I really can't tell why except the popular "women are enemies of themselves" phrase. Antagonism for no just cause.
I envy you men all the time.

Its confusing walahi.

I had a bed space in School and never slept on it because I come back to the room late and 2 people are already doing "69" on my bunk.

But a girl who has upper bunk space cant even entertain guests because she mustnt step on the carpet the lower bunk owner laid down

bukatyne: Let's assume the whole family sold pepper under the bridge to train the man
..

Does that give them the right to ruin his life?

Let's be sincere, if it was the daughter the whole village trained, will the sister ruin her elder sister's home because of that?

If not lack of respect, what will lead to getting physical in the first place?

Let's say gbege happens and my SIL slaps me, them never born me well to slap her back. My extended family will tear me into pieces.

Ruin his life how?

The wife assault the sister, The sister defends herself means the family is ruining his life?

maybe if they didnt sell the pepper to train him, His life would have been "RUINED ON ARRIVAL"

Why is it that most women have a problem accommodating one another or getting along?

Same thing with Wife Mother in Law issues, How come we dont hear of Husband and father in laws fighting

bukatyne: This is where we all miss it...

Getting married to their husband automatically makes them the queen of their home.

A wife is not a guest or visitor to the husband or in her home. It doesn't matter if the sister has spent 100years with her brother, it's not her home. If the wife doesn't do CEO in her home, where will she do it?

The sister is the visitor and has to get her acts together. If I visit my cousin and his wife says don't cough in the sitting room, it's either I hold my cough or disappear; the queen has spoken.

If she wants to brag, she should go back to her parents home and claim right afteral, she is not an orphan.

How do you know from whats posted here that its not the wife who threw the first blow at the sister?

Not every family are millionaires, maybe the Husband sef was raised with community money and he has the obligation to give back to his family

How do you know the man working in Shell now didnt go to school as a result of that sister working as a housegirl for someone

So the sister and family who now slaved to make him the man he is that you wanted and desired to marry should now be beaten?

Vikin: I notice most women who claim....this is my husbands house..blah blah blah are majority don't have anything to contribute except siddon put looking for whom to control and run over in hubby house ..

That's my observation anyway, they usually see, getting married as means to being the CEO of the house. If she was busy with herself I don't think she will even encounter such from the hubby's sister.

Let her get busy and see if she can contribute in raising money for the squatee and then have her freedom. After all, she saw the sister in the house before she came.

Interesting. You might be right o

samyan12: Na wah for all these women oo. Ur sister is family too. I am female, and I would want my husband to tolerate my younger sis or bro if she chose to live with us. How come when we get married and start a new family, our parents, siblings all become not so dear to us. @op dis is a delicate situation, and u shld handle it in a way, that will bring back d love in your family. If u throw ur sister out, u'll create enemies for your wife amongst your siblings, considering, and it won't be in her best interest in the long run.
Let's stop being selfish and thinking only of ourselves. Marrying a man, doesn't translate to you destroying the rships he had before u came along. Try and gget both ur wife and sis to settle whateva is btw them, ur sis can't live with u forever. She'll soon marry and leave. Don't make an enemy for life

Well said

greatgod2012: baby, agreed, the wife did a mistake by moving in when the sister is there, but the sister made a bigger mistake by exchanging blows with her brother's wife, if she really respect and appreciate her brother, she wouldnt have done that, and he biggest mistake by letting the conflict get to the stage where the wife have to pack out with the kids.....ha!baby, isolenu niyen, the wife packed out because of her husband' sister trouble and the sister stayed put comfortably,Haba!this is africa.

How do you know who threw the first blow?

So if the wife punched the sister first, the sister is still at fault?

baby_123: So the sister should go where exactly ? Stay on the road? If she goes home, do we know if her parents can afford to take care of her? Didn't wifey enter the house and met the sister there? Why didn't she protest loudly before marriage? Honestly, I detest fake people. The wife is a fake person, she wanted to get married at all cost. Tolerance from both parties is the key. Will you throw your own sister out when she has no where to go? I won't, so I can't act righteous on this one. It is a temporary situation, everyone will be fine eventually. Sister should respect brother's marriage, and wifey should respect husband's family and treat them like her's. Shikena. Men, make sure your wife loves your family and doesn't have problem's seeing or accomodating them. Same for women.

Hmmm deep message.

OP, Can I see your sisters picture? I might know some guys who can accommodate her in Lagos for free. E.g Walestar

coogar: please elaborate.....

Husband and Brother In law hit town to do babes runs together While the wife/sister is in the dark

slimyem: Two grown women permanently under one roof never results in bliss most of the time.
I'm almost certain however that both your wife and sisters have issues.One won't bend for the other.

WHy is the bold so?

Is it that women have inherent problems?

Why do 13 boys stay in a hostel toom together but girls you dare not step on your roomates carpet.

In University i saw a girl living on the top bunk and the girl below told her not to step on the lower bunk So she has to jump on her bunk from the ground

Women sha