₦airaland Forum

I expect intelligent response from you guys but the reverse is the case. If you are married then you will understand my point. We African men have ego so try and put urself in my shoe.

What will be a good punishment for your wife if she disobey you? Lately my wife has developed habbit of doing what I asked her not to do. Am hot tempered and I have tried my best to control my anger all this while BUT .........

I will only carry her along if she can reduce her jealousy. I dont want her to create any scene there.

@ chaircover: Am as truthfull as God in the bible. I dont have anything to do with my son's mum and will never do just for what she did that cursed our separation.

@ debrief08 I wish she will have the same reasoning like you.

Thanks all. I want to stop eaten her food untill she trust me how about that?

Why is it that women can promise everyrhing in this world only for them to change after marriage?

Thanks all. I have learn't alot f rom you all but no matter how hard I try she is too jealous to reason.

@ Daresh All my attention,discussion etc are my son and not his mother, whenever I go there I take picture of my son alone and I make sure that her mother is not included in the picture. I dont know what else to do to prove that am innocent.

@itsmelex Not that I visit him always my last visit was 6months ago, I actually went to register him in school. Am really confuse here

@Daresh How do you expect me to keep distance from the mother of my son at this time, my son is only 3yrs do you expect him to come out on his own and meet me? impossible

LewsTherin @ I fully understand you bro, I dont know if she expect me to be hidden things from her, maybe next time if am visiting my son I wont tell her maybe this will solve the problem. Women dont like someone telling them the truth they prefare lies than truth serious.

With time my son will come and spend sometime with me until HE come of age for me to take custody of him but what I need now is my wife UNDERSTANDING. She promised me before I married her that she will take the boy as her own son but now jealous have taken over her sense of reasoning.

@Daresh My Son and ex live in another city 2 hours drive away from where I stay. I dont think is Ok to go with my wife, she may get too jealous and do something stupid or maybe am wrong but I know my wife is extremely jealous.

@smartmom I have done that time and time again but jealousy has taken over her, she even expect me to communicate with the boy and not the mother but I keep telling her that it is impossible at this stage of his life.. @ yellowpawpaw She carry belle few months away from delivery

@bellong Am yet to bring the boy home but I dont think she will have problem with that provided my son's mother is not anywhere close to the house. I can swear with my life that am not playing sideshow with the mother of my son

@ileobatojo Given 1 Million chance I will marry my wife serious

My wife is more than Jealous. I have a son from my past relationship which almost ended up to marriage but due to some circumstance which was my formal girlfriend fault made it impossible for us to marry which prompted my marriage to my present wife.

She knows about this child even from the first day we started dating up till marriage and she claim to love the child but whenever I go to visit the child she will get angry reason because I will see her mother, Whenever my son's mum call me to update me about my child her mood will change. She knows it is impossible for me to see or communicate with a 3year old minor without the presence of his mother at-lest until He comes of age.

What do I do? I love my son but I dont want my marriage to break

The answer to this question is WHY DO WOMEN CHANGE AFTER MARRIAGE? While dating you did not see it as a big problem why now? I advise you to keep tolerating his brother, finish what you started.

I hope they change for good after child birth oh because this demand for total authority don tire me.

Yes but the change is more in women than men.

Why is it that women change immediately you confirm them your wife? You will see a humble and simple lady during courtship turn into a BOOS overnight once you make her your wife.

Is it that they want to show the Husband,his family and everybody around that they are in-charge or what? Please my fellow married MEN & WOMEN educate me.

Heheheeh you made me laugh

[b]yeah thats true,i remember years back when i still used to live with my parents,mummy will come back from work like 7pm,daddy gets home earlier because his place of work is not far from home and so when mummy gets home,everybody knows shes at home because she is a very lively woman and likes jist a lot.anyway once she comes back,she will just drop her bag in the sitting room,greet my dad and go straight to the kitchen.(the unwritten rule in our house back then was once mummy enters the kitchen,everybody must be in the kitchen to help mummy out regardless of your gender)so we just go to the kitchen and while we are in the kitchen we will jist and jist and everyone will be exchanging jists of how his or her day went while working in the kitchen and so after the food is ready,mummy goes to serve daddy and before we know it,its 9pm,time for secret of the sand (one old tele novela) we will awtch that one till 1o pm,after that we will watch news from 1o pm to 11pm, after then everyone will go and sleep.we did not even know when we sidelined daddy,all these went on for months,so one day daddy called a family meeting after morning prayes on a saturday,he now asked kini mo shey fun gbo gbo yin( whta did i do for all of you that when you girls and boys come back from school,you will just greet me and go inside,so everyone had to give a good answer one after the other starting from the youngest to the eldest including mummy.my kid brother said whenever he comes back from school and he meets daddy in the sitting room reading news paper and sipping tea,he doesnt want to disturb him,when it go to my turn i said daddy emabinu (daddy dont be annoyed) it is mummys fault.mummy will say when i come back from school,i have to go and wash my school uniform and socks including that of my kid brother and after then i should start doing all my assignments they gave me in school before she comes so i always quickly do it because when she comes,she will first ask me whether i have done my assignments and start sending me to fetch water from down stairs,then my elder brother that was is not always in the house,he was in the university then,he only comes home once in a year,lol,then when it got to the turn of my mother,she said stress ni,anyway everyone apologized to him,the idea was that we excluded daddy in everything we did apart from serving him food,anyway we later incorporated him into our affairs and had to cut down on the soap operas we watch.so everything is just moderation,love,respect and undertanding for each other

(Quote) (Report) 2 Likes (Like) [/b]


From the above post I understand that for marriage to work one needs moderation,love,respect and undertanding for each other.

I really don't understand, how is facebook bad for marriage? Why won't you allow your wife have a facebook account or do you have anything to hide.
My dear you are newly married and @ this stage the level of trust in your marriage should be @ its highest. Simply tell her you've noticed she is on facebook and ask her the password of her account. I know all my husband's passwords - Yahoo, hotmail, facebook and what have you and he knows mine.
Start your marriage on the right note.


I have a Facebook but I only use it to communicate with my friends abroad. I do stay abroad but I have been home for 1year now and I intend staying here for another year for the sake of my marriage. I dont have anything to hide serious but am not just comfortable with Facebook.

I really don't understand, how is facebook bad for marriage? Why won't you allow your wife have a facebook account or do you have anything to hide.
My dear you are newly married and @ this stage the level of trust in your marriage should be @ its highest. Simply tell her you've noticed she is on facebook and ask her the password of her account. I know all my husband's passwords - Yahoo, hotmail, facebook and what have you and he knows mine.
Start your marriage on the right note.


I have a Facebook but I only use it to communicate with my abroad. I do stay abroad but I have been home for 1year now and I intend staying here for another year for the sake of my marriage. I dont have anything to hide serious but am not just comfortable with Facebook.

What was her reason for insisting on opening one?

Her reason is exactly what I want to find out, how to go about it is what am thinking.

Create a fake facebook page and add her as your friend, that way you can see what she's up to.
You should have allowed her and even opened it for her. That way you will have her password and there will be nothing to hide.

Initially I wanted to but after having second thought I decided against it. Men facebook is not that safe for married couple.

I got married few months ago.Recently my wife told me she wanted to join Facebook which I decline telling her the dangers of social media to marriages but to my greatest surprise I found her on Facebook and my ex girl-friend in her friends list.

What do I do? Should I confront her or pretend as if I don't know about it?