Dhorlipizzu's Posts

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Crime › Re: Bank Robbery Ongoing At Ikorodu by dhorlipizzu(m): 9:35am On Jun 24, 2015

Even in d well

Politics › Re: PHOTO: Things Feminists Won't Fight For But Its Fine We Won't Complain by dhorlipizzu(m): 9:33am On Jun 24, 2015

The poster above me must be a racist!!! Stole my ftc undecided

because am a black dude!!! grin

1 Like

Jokes Etc › Cool Fact!!! by dhorlipizzu(op): 9:18am On Jun 24, 2015

WISE QUOTES....

1). He who refuses to mix Agege bread and akara as a type of sandwich is a racist - Martin Luther King jnr (1788)

2). He who completely unwraps moimoi and gala before eating cannot keep a secret - Abraham Lincoln (1864)

3). Only a courageous woman can fry a bunch of plantain without tasting any - Albert Macauley (1872)

4). Drinking Garri doesn't mean u're poor, but allowing the Garri to swell before drinking is poverty - Queen Elizabeth (1893)

5). Any man who drinks Alomo bitters without squeezing his face, is capable of murder - Michael Faraday (1899)

6). Any man that uses his teeth to cut shaki from pepper soup, with his eyes wide open, is not afraid of anything - Williams Shakespeare (1900)

7). Anyone who graduates from a conventional school without experiencing a strike, has never been to Nigeria - Lord Lugard (1904)

cool

. He who runs around looking for scissors to cut indomine seasoning sachet is not hungry - Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe (1947)

9). He who says nothing lasts forever has never tried Hausa perfume - Nelson Mandela (1973)

10). No matter how hot your temper is, it cannot cook yam - Prof Jega (2015)

11). Anyone who reads this without laughing, is either looking for job or needs money badly - Barack Obama (2014).

1 Like

Nairaland General › Re: "Factshood" Facts Of The Day (Updated Daily) by dhorlipizzu(m): 7:11am On Jun 24, 2015

Mobsync:
No

Issorait... stay cool

Jokes Etc › Re: This Is The Funniest Joke You'll Read This Year. by dhorlipizzu(m): 7:07am On Jun 24, 2015

Big werey

2 Likes

Politics › Re: Buhari To Visit Cameroon After Ramadan - Premium Times by dhorlipizzu(m): 7:03am On Jun 24, 2015*

That awkward moment when God gives some nigga money to av data.. they now abusing the gift of God... imagine the rastafarian under me.... SMH...

Nairaland General › Re: "Factshood" Facts Of The Day (Updated Daily) by dhorlipizzu(m): 7:02am On Jun 24, 2015

Mobsync:
Just like that?

Yes sir!! Just like that undecided

U wanna help me comment? huh

Nairaland General › Re: "Factshood" Facts Of The Day (Updated Daily) by dhorlipizzu(m): 6:53am On Jun 24, 2015

Nairaland General › Re: Meet The Nairalander Who Has Same Birthday Date With Lionel Messi by dhorlipizzu(m): 6:53am On Jun 24, 2015

What's my own?

Celebrities › Re: Photos: Wizkid Steps Out As Glo Ambassador by dhorlipizzu(m): 6:51am On Jun 24, 2015

Bugatie:
That's more baby mommas to come.

I wish him ~~goodluck~~buhari

Politics › Re: House Leadership: Northern Reps Make U-turn, Mobilise Against Gbajabiamila by dhorlipizzu(m): 6:48am On Jun 24, 2015

Education › Re: List Of Students Punished For Academic Misconduct In Unilag by dhorlipizzu(m): 9:13pm On Jun 23, 2015

Politics › Re: Breaking: PDP Urges Buhari To Stop Giving Excuses by dhorlipizzu(m): 9:12pm On Jun 23, 2015

Politics › Re: Election Petition: Maku To Present 60 Witnesses by dhorlipizzu(m): 9:00pm On Jun 23, 2015

Family › Re: Five Types Of Fathers Every Nigerian Child Grew Up With by dhorlipizzu(m): 8:58pm On Jun 23, 2015

misspicy:
[b]Some children grew up to know a father's
love while some are not privileged to but
one common factor we all share is that
every child was fathered by a man whether
natural or a transgender.
Below are 6types of fathers we are
celebrating
1) THE LOVING FATHER
Some fathers show love to their kids too
much,they can do anytyn for their kids.this
does not mean other types of fathers do
not love their kids but this set of fathers
can spoil their children.they don't discipline
their kids and will not allow anybody to
train their children for them.
2)THE DISCIPLINARIAN
Many nigerian children have this type of
fathers,they don't tolerate any act of
indiscipline from their childrn,they don't
spare the rod.their children will always pray
that daddy should travel (na my papa be
that)
3) THE TRAVELLER
This type of fathers are always on one
journey or the other,most times this
journey is for money making atleast pikin
and their mama must chop.they don't have
any tym for their children.
4)THE RELIGIOUS FATHER
Some fathers are very religious,this types
of father are against anytyn that
contradicts thier religion.they expect their
children to be perfect any erring child will
be dealt with. early morning and night
devotion is compulsory,regular church or
mosque going.
5)THE NONCHALANT FATHER
They don't care about their children's
welfare,they don't provide for their kids or
the family,they are the never around
father.
The list is endless.add yours and tell us the
type of father you have or had.
leggo.[/b]
cc Lalasticlala

Wat about the mpa wey go para for the pikin if the pikin wake up from dream say masquerade dey pursue am? The man go tear the pikin knock say make if he see d masquerade again for dream and he no kill the masquerade make him pikin no wake up again oooo

Politics › Re: Buhari Appoints Wike Member Of National Salary Committee by dhorlipizzu(m): 8:08pm On Jun 23, 2015

NgeneUkwenu:
So You Are Now Rejoicing Over Petty committee member Given To Your Local Governor By The Supposedly "illiterate" Man From Duara?

Taniods Ndi Ara!

Family › Re: I Caught Her Sex Chatting. by dhorlipizzu(m): 6:59pm On Jun 23, 2015

cozy7:
U never told us how old your sister actually is. But for her to be able to operate 2go, I assume she's above 11yrs, bro she's good to go. I suggest u simply advice her n let her make d decision b4 u become her "energy of progress".

Politics › Re: Govs Ask Buhari To Share $1.6bn From NLNG Tax by dhorlipizzu(m): 6:36pm On Jun 23, 2015

[s]

warrior01:
What happened to the governors inventing ways of generating revenues in their states? Must the resources from the Eastern region always used to bail them out of their uselessness. The same way they advised and took the FG to court to share the ECA and today, the same hypocrites have turned around to blame Gej and Okonjo Iweala.

[/s]

U get sense @ all? Wetin east get? Abi wetin dem dey generate dia... u wan form "awa oyel" grin

and na u no come from southy cheesy

3 Likes

Politics › Re: President Buhari Meets The 36 State Governors (Photos) by dhorlipizzu(m): 2:41pm On Jun 23, 2015

kendrick9:
When are we going to see the effect of the called Change.... buhari so far looks incompetent to handle the affairs of this country..

You must be a togolese.... and if you a Nigerian I bet you never appreciate ur mpa(i mean ur real fada)..

~~Rabish!!!~~ HEDIOTH

Jokes Etc › Re: When Yu Smoke Weed Mixed With Taba. Photo by dhorlipizzu(m): 12:13am On Jun 23, 2015

donholy28:
Devil go dey sing ~~shakitibobo~~ for ur head

I rule am because ur head dey dia...#gbayi

Phones › Re: 10 Annoying Things People Do In A Whatsapp Group by dhorlipizzu(m): 8:39am On Jun 22, 2015

feezy:
How do I join a group on what's app

Ask g

;Dgle

Politics › Re: Pictures Of Ifako-ijaye After The Rain Today by dhorlipizzu(m): 11:07pm On Jun 20, 2015

hahn:
Just got this from an associate. Can someone please tell our leaders that its neccessary to add a drainage system when building roads? Its only in Nigeria that we build roads without common gutters.

Oqa ade that place no be road na... u put plank for face?

That's river benue... and how are u sure it's in lagos?

Jokes Etc › Re: Must Read!!! Life Tips by dhorlipizzu(op): 11:04pm On Jun 20, 2015

demmy0325:
.. I don land again..

Which network u need this time around sir?

Jokes Etc › Must Read!!! Life Tips by dhorlipizzu(op): 10:55pm On Jun 20, 2015

Must read vry useful:

SOMETHING YOU
MIGHT HAVE NOT
KNOWN And NEED
TO KNOW !!

Ants Problem:
Ants hate Cucumbers.
"KEEP the skin of
Cucumbers near the
Place where they are
or at Ant Hole.

To make the Mirror
Shine:
"Clean with Sprite"

To remove Chewing
Gum from Clothes:
"Keep the Cloth in
the Freezer for One
Hour"

To Whiten White
Clothes:
"Soak White Clothes
in hot water with a
Slice of Lemon for 10
Minutes"

To give a Shine to
your Hair:
"Add one Teaspoon
of Vinegar to Hair,
then wash Hair"

To get maximum
Juice out of Lemons:
"Soak Lemons in Hot
Water for One Hour,
and then juice them"

To avoid smell of
Cabbage while
cooking:
"Keep a piece of
Bread on the
Cabbage in the
Vessel while cooking"

To remove Ink from
Clothes:
"Put Toothpaste
on the Ink Spots
generously and let it
dry completely, then
wash"

To get rid of Mice or
Rats:
"Sprinkle Black
Pepper in places
where you find Mice &
Rats. They will run
away"

Take Water Before
Bedtime..
"About 90% of Heart
Attacks occur Early in
the Morning & it can
be reduced if one
takes a Glass or two
of Water before going
to bed at Night"

We Know Water is
important but never
knew about the
Special Times one
has to drink it.. !!

Did you huh

Drinking Water at the
Right Time
Maximizes its
effectiveness on the
Human Body;

1 Glass of Water
after waking up -
helps to
activate internal
organs..

1 Glass of Water
30 Minutes
before a Meal -
helps digestion..

1Glass of Water
before taking a
Bath - helps
lower your blood
pressure.

1Glass of Water
before going to
Bed - avoids
Stroke or Heart
Attack.

Chinese Proverb Says:
'When someone
shares something of
value with you and
you benefit from it,
You have a moral
obligation to share it
with others too.'

I have done mine...

Jokes Etc › Re: Funny Life Facts About Nigerian by dhorlipizzu(op): 10:48pm On Jun 20, 2015

demmy0325:
.. Weyrey

E pain am sha grin

Politics › Re: Who Says Buhari Has Out-performed His Predecessor? by dhorlipizzu(m): 10:36pm On Jun 20, 2015

1 Like 1 Share

Jokes Etc › Re: Funny Life Facts About Nigerian by dhorlipizzu(op): 10:26pm On Jun 20, 2015

demmy0325:
U copy n paste.. U no even give credit..

Lol!!! Oqa na glo abi mtn?

Jokes Etc › Naija Pastors Vs American Pastors by dhorlipizzu(op): 10:12pm On Jun 20, 2015

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AMERICAN AND NIGERIAN
PASTORS.
AMERICAN PASTOR--Hey Demon, What are You
Doing In That Hommie? You Need To Get Outta That
Body. Yo Demon I'm Talking To You Niqqa, Get
Outta Johnson Mehn, Johnson Don't Want You No More, He
Ain't Doing Drugs No More, Ain't Doing
Rape, Ain't Gay, Ain't Shop-Lifting Or Mobbing
Someone Anymore, He's A Changed Man Now
Demon. He Ain't Going Back To That World, You
Understand What Am Saying?? He's Dope In Christ
Now. Come On You Gotta Pack Your Bags And Leave And We
Cool.
NIGERIAN PASTOR--Aaaaaaaahhh!!
Fayayayayaya!!!Every Witches And Wizard From The
Village Holding Meeting In Your Body, Hoolyyy
Ghoosstt Fiirrreee!! By The Count Of 5 Demon, Come
Out Of Akpors. Out 1, Out2, Out 3, Out 4, Ouuutt 5!!
Cooomme Ouut!! Church Where Is Your Spiritual
Ak47? Where Is Your Sword And Armour?? Your
Bomb And Matchet!! Where Is Your Heavenly
Catapult?? Summon The Angelic Shield!! Church
Faayyyaaa!! Fire That Idiot Of A Demon!
(Speaking In Tongues) Jakakaberimamamamamama..lig
radaboshkanda Holy Ghost Bomb Igboooommm!!!!
Kpisshhuuaann!!Blooodd Of Jeeessuuuss!!

Jokes Etc › Funny Life Facts About Nigerian by dhorlipizzu(op): 10:05pm On Jun 20, 2015

FUNNY_LIFE_FACTS
1. Nigerians don't ever rest. Even after death,
they still work as ancestors, collecting kolanuts, white fowl and aromatic Schnapps.

2. In Hollywood, you feel people's pulse to
know whether they're
dead or alive. In Nollywood, just pick the hand and drop it.

3. If You Marry A Girl That Can't Cook, Bros
Your Case Dey "MR BIGGS"

4. When next you check your boyfriend's
texts. Ignore his chats with girls, and check
the ones with guys. That's where the
truth is

5. No matter how expensive your Wrist
watch is, as long as it won't tell you Christ's
Second coming,
its as Useless as the "p"in Psycho

6. If you have attended over 100 weddings
and you are still single.
Sister, you are no longer different from a
canopy.

7. You don't have to be in UK to be OK, Help
comes from Above not
Abroad.

8.Ladies are wicked. They will lay on your
chest and ask, "Honey have you ever cheated
on me?" ...then wait for your heart to beat fast. 9. A cockroach is afraid of a rat, a rat is afraid of a cat, cat is afraid of a dog, a dog is
afraid of a man, a man is afraid of his girlfriend, a
girlfriend is afraid of a cockroach.

10. LAST SEEN: Whatsapp- 1Min ago •BBM - 5Mins ago • Twitter- 2Mins ago • BIBLE -
2002. My dear, the Devil has soaked your cane in kerosene

11. BBM and Whatsapp have been rated as the 2nd and 3rd app for chats and gossip, but Women still retain the 1st position

12. Wedding ring is the smallest handcuff ever made. So think deep, choose ur prison mate carefully & sentence urself wisely to avoid Prison break

13. To those who commit suicide; why are you so selfish? Why kill yourself when so many people are looking for who to use for money rituals?

14. As a matter of fact, there's no female angel in the Bible. So if any guy calls you an angel, na wash ooooo.

Truth or False?

Politics › Re: I Am A Local Champion - Wike by dhorlipizzu(m): 9:41pm On Jun 20, 2015

OREMUSSANCTUS:
We will bring down "nigeria" if anytin happens to wike
Mark ma words

"We will"!!! That's a word outa a cowards mouth... if I may ask how many of una be we.... grin

heeeeddiiiiiaaaat...

I taya for all this awa oyel
people sef!!

1 Like

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