₦airaland Forum

DesChyko:
Before and after service, Check where church choir dey keep their robes every Sunday.

Hmmm.......but errrrm can i...errrrm contract you to thief one come for me

I have been hearing too much about the cloth here on Nairaland. And i think i'd like to own one now. I've search everywhere here in Surinam and notn notn
I fit get am for Tejuosho or Ojuelegba?

brito:
The husband should pay her

If i hear....... pay her? For doing what she was married for? Let her go and look for work jare!
Even dogs and monkey get trained to do those house chores here in Papua New Guinea

Errrrrm.........but thats no job or business cause she aint getting paid.

When police knock for your door no run o!

*pulls the cushion, sits back to count the views thread will attract in seconds*

Errrrrrrm.......what exactly do you wanna read.........Gerrrrrrrrrrout and go to bed
Its not night where you are yet?

Buhari represents everything Democracy is not

Ok

Oga Titus......u don bleep up.....e use night bus.....to come lagos...

What's going on here?
Ladies what will you do if your guy tries this?
Guys can you pull such stunt and what can push you to do this?
Oya let's go there

Idle talk of a public fund squanderer who is not in touch with reality in the society. I believe he intends to be funny, but he ended up sounding stupid

Y

My Chemical Engineering Project was on " Extraction and Characterisation of Sugar from Date Palm Seed (Dibino Seed)". And its not listed

temitemi1:
Looking for army of liers to employ

Like u read my mind.
The only quality they will look out for at the interview is "a lying tongue".

Go mark your grave before getting close to my wife. Man 'a' baaaaad man
In the 1st place, i use to hate the idea of marriage because of what i see married people do. But now that i am in, i have sworn to see it through to the very end.
I mean, People dont call you "Lee Van Cliff" for nothing

They shouldnt sanction them, rather they should push for laws that will enable me sue them to the tune of $1b for
1. Invasion of privacy
2. Mouth watering empty offers with intent to defraud.
3. Causing bodily harm to my fingers while deleting their junks.
4. BP raising texts of having won stuff thats non existent.
5. Depleting my account by forced subscribing to stuff i dont even know the head or tail.

Nonsense!

seunmsg:
They can continue making reckless statements for the time being as they enjoy immunity under GEJ. When change comes to Nigeria on may 29, they will be arrested and prosecuted. Payback period is just around the corner.

We wait till then to see how you are gonna achieve that

T.Y already scared for his MultiMillion Dollars oil interest in Niger Delta?
Go and arrest them yourself.

Btw, Brooms are most popular among witches and wizards as means of transport

Let me expatiate. One vacuum cleaner can do the work of one hundred brooms and can do it faster and more efficiently too. The APC and Muhammadu Buhari are representative of brooms. This is why Muhammadu Buhari keeps saying he will throw corrupt Nigerians into jail. Now, as a means of fighting corruption, there is nothing wrong with throwing corrupt persons into jail, particularly if you follow due process. But will that tactic work in Nigeria today? Yes, to an extent it will work, just as a broom will work to an extent in sweeping a dirty house.But supposing you try a new and better way? Supposing that instead of just concentrating your efforts at sweeping people one by one into prison, you use a vacuum cleaner to clean the house at a faster pace by employing technology that makes it difficult, nay impossible, to steal?Prior to the Goodluck Jonathan administration, there were fifty thousand ghost workers in the Federal Civil Service. They drained the treasure of about 2 billion US dollars annually. President Jonathan could have used the broom on them by unleashing the police and the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, to investigate who and who were collecting these fifty thousand unearned salaries. It would have taken many hours of investigation, evidence gathering, judicial process and lawyers to achieve that.Being the philosopher king that he is, President Jonathan chose instead to employ technology to tackle the problem and using the software of the  Integrated Personnel and Payroll Information System, IPPIS, this administration made it impossible for anybody who has not been physically captured in the IPPIS system, by way of entering his/her finger prints and biometrics, to receive a salary. And voila! in one fell swoop, all the fifty thousand ghost workers were excluded and the Federal Government was able to save billions every year that would have gone on salaries.Also, it was common practice for civil servants to mop up unspent votes at the end of the year. The only problem is that they mopped up these funds into their private accounts rather than back to the government treasury.But instead of going about with a big stick to bash in the head of offenders, the President simply approved a system that mandated that all payments be made by e-payments rather than cash and any e-payment that does not come under the sub head of salaries will shut down the system at the end of the year so that civil servants could not mop up funds as they were used to.Take another instance. Prior to the rise of President Goodluck Jonathan to power, the fertilizer procurement and distribution system of the Federal Ministry of Agriculture was one of the biggest avenues for corruption. Contracts were awarded at hundreds of billions for products that either did not come or were substandard. Moreover, in the process of distributing the product, a lot of it was diverted and resold with the government not getting value for money and farmers not being able to feed the nation.Enter the Jonathan administration and the e-wallet system of fertilizer distribution, in which the Federal Ministry no longer used middle men contractors, but dealt directly with the manufacturers and the end users of the product, the farmers, and used a simple text message to connect end user with manufacturer. The manufacturers simply debited the cost of the subsidized fertilizer from the e-wallet funds the farmer had on his phone, saving tens of billions and increasing efficiency.These examples show that with a broom, you will work harder, but with a vacuum cleaner which President Jonathan and the Peoples Democratic Party, PDP represent, you will work smarter!With a broom, you will deliver activity, but with a vacuum cleaner, you will deliver results!It is this broom mentality that caused Major General Buhari to answer to the question “how do you intend to manage the economy in the face of dwindling oil price”asked during his Channels TV interview as follows “first we will stabilize the oil market and run an accountable government”.Do you control the price of oil? How do you want to stabilize the oil market if you do not control the price of the product and the global supply of the same? This is analogue thinking! This is broom mentality! That is the mentality that says that you will concentrate on curing corruption instead of focusing on preventing it when even a nursery school pupil knows that ‘prevention is better than cure’!And that is the choice before Nigerians. Are we going to go with a broom or with a vacuum cleaner? Are we going to go with an analogue leader or continue with a digital leader?To make the choice easier for you, let me ask those who are able to remember how many schools were built by General Muhammadu Buhari when he was military head of state. The answer is of course none! But you might say that he only spent twenty months in office. But what if I told you that in his first twenty months in office President Goodluck Jonathan built nine new Federal Universities in Ebonyi, Kogi, Nasarawa, Bayelsa, Gombe, Taraba, Katsina, Jigawa and Ekiti?Let me ask you also to remember how many Youth Empowerment Programme the Buhari led government put in place to spur youth employment. The answer is of course none! But five months after he was sworn in as Nigeria’s President, President Jonathan launched the Youth With Innovation in Nigeria Initiative which is a unique business competition where Nigerian youths submit their business ideas to a consultancy chosen by government who then selects the best proposals and then the government trains them in modern business skills and grants them between 2-10 million Naira. Remember that this is a grant, not a loan. They do not have to pay back. Over four thousand youths have gone on to be selected and trained and have started up businesses that are employing other youths.So once again, I ask are we going to go with a broom or with a vacuum cleaner? Are we going to go with an analogue leader or continue with a digital leader?Nothing exemplifies the fact that the world has passed the APC and its flag bearer by than the use of a broom as their party’s emblem. Yes, it is a fitting analogy for the All Progressive Congress, APC and its Presidential Flag Bearer, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (Rtd), but facts will bear me out that a broom cannot do the work of leadership that is expected in Nigeria today.Reno Omokri is Special Assistant to President Jonathan on New Media.Regards,Reno.

Source: http://citypeoplenews.com/the-broom-or-the-vacuum-cleaner-by-reno-omokri/

This Mazi Titus sef

MizMyColi:
I for Iron


K for kettle

X for xoxo

G for Gun

K for Kolomenta

*Rubs spit on my knockles, rubs it on sand, lands it on mizmycoli's exposed head*

Me sef go soon join "Handy Seesaw"

Reporting ........

He later didnt make it.
Good Night Compatriot

Femi on point

They will now start calling him a TANOID

I do not like soccer
How do i start liking it?

SeverusSnape:
GeJ supporters don't participate actively in online polls, We participate mainly at the POLLS.

Gbam!

Looks more like a half cast Shilee

Ikengawo:
$4 Trillion USD while the entire Nigerian economy combine is $520 Billion USD.
APC reeks of desperation and it's right on time because their momentum is dead.

Do you really have time to respond to the idle vermin?

Op is a victim of down syndrome and autism combined. I know him pls disregrd his deficiencies