₦airaland Forum

Buhari nko

Intact no skuul again for Edo self ,,,, All dey are known for is sex sex sex sex. Sexxxxxxx

Just press " Buhari "

Dats y I dey use Nokia torch but u pipu won't understand , una dey call me " Brokelyn" ....

Thanks Op jare

Guy , me dey eat obituary rice well well ooooo

Since u won enter another gbege again

Me I be Muslim my fore head don black finish .....but I stingy like mad

3rd mainland need DNA test ,,,aswear

Plane nko

You are now smiling abi oya comment the number that made you laugh.Love you all.




DaniLuv
Ben

1.) In America most of the tall guys are BASKETBALL players

But in Nigeria the tall guys are BOARD CLEANERS...

Why na??


2.) � �Meanwhile....... � �

I killed 2 Igbo mosquitoes today �


How did I know they were Igbo?? �

� Because they were flying near my wallet � � � � � � � � � � � �


3.) Some of these girls can't walk pass a cemetery in peace...coz the babies they have aborted will be shouting their names, ”Hey mom wait”.

4.) Gentlemen No girl is ugly...It's just that some of them look like their fathers. #Lmao**


5.) The Lies We Sang During Primary School Days.

"I Remember When I Was A Soldier"�

When Was That Self?

6.) These days our Naija artists won't kill me…

Davido, which one is "Banana fall on you?”

All these girls just dancing to the song up and down, no wahala, until you miss your period after dancing. #Hehehehehehehe**

7.) It’s only in Nigeria you will tell sum1 how u suffered while growing up and they will reply "u nor suffer reach me", as if suffering is a competition... Na wah o.

8.) If a man tells you he is not like other men, my sister ask him if he can give birth. #Lol**

9.) � � My girlfriend � just broke up with me and I feel like killing myself and I ate fried rice,Chicken and and drank juice but nothing happened to me � �

Palz what else can I use? � � � � � �

10.) � �When u see a group of Four girls �& u want to Talk to one, First Greet the Ugly one, �She is d Commander in Chief ✌� � � � �

11.) I bought Gucci soap for ¢200 and Gucci sponge for ¢350 and since morning, I've been looking for where to bathe for people to see me.

12.) Attention! Attention!! � � � �

...A cry for help!! � � �

Please someone should help me tell the person driving this country *NIGERIA * to stop! I want to come down, am not going again! The best

�

13.) Most Girls Pray For Hardworking men, Yet They Don't Respond To Greetings From labourers. SO Ironic**

14.) That moment when your battery is at 1% and you see your Boss upload pictures of himself and his family. And wanting to impress him, you quickly comment "cool pics" but auto correct changes it to "cool pigs" and your battery runs out!

My brother Don't even bother explaining, just go look for another job.

15.) �Girls� of Nowadays don't cry after Break Up��

They behave like Cashiers in the Bank, Next Customer please���������������

16.) A man was angry because he had it in his head that someone stole his wallet. He walked into a church to steal someone else’s wallet, but later had a change of heart during the service.

He confessed to the priest afterwards about what his intentions had initially been. The priest then asked, “What made you change your mind?”

The man said, “In your sermon on the Ten Commandments when you got to ‘Thou shall not commit adultery,’ I remembered where I left my wallet!” #Lmao**

17.) Today I saw two blind people fighting then I shouted "I'm supporting the one with the knife", they both ran away.

18.) I was watching Christmas drama rehearsal by a church drama group during last Christmas and I nearly burst into tears...Why? Mary told Joseph she was pregnant and Joseph shouted "Jesus Christ! For who?" And I became confused.

19.) Do u know that MALTINA Has the following vitamins: A, B, B1, B2, B3, B4, B5, C, D...?? Chaiiiiiii... So I’ve been drinking somebody's WAEC result. #Lmao**

20.) � I keep hearing evry1 saying”who wil b my val?” � �

My question is what happened to ur last year val?

Motor jam am? � � � � � � � � � � � � � �

21.) This heat is too much, you might think the Government has chewed the money meant for the rains too aba, na WA for you ooo

22.) Hotel Room 80k for 24hours. It's ok I will Sleep with the gateman.

23.) The way people die on radio during a radio program is so alarming .

You will just hear, Hello! hello! Oh we lost him! Nawaoo!

24.) � Some girls should please try and reduce makeup, especially on valentine… � � � �

Yesterday I Kissed a girl on her forehead and it tasted like tiger head battery.

25.) Beat an African child, console him with biscuit & ask him "Who beat you?" He will point at another person.

That's how corruption started in Africa.

26.) My friend is getting married this Saturday, I was so excited, until I checked the transport fare from Port Harcourt to Lagos, I just remembered that he offended me in JSS 2.

Answer is 15

this 1 is common for most nairalanders guyz

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OGA , which one are u

Enceladus:
When I was a kid I almost had an overdose on krest lol. We had a big party back then and nobody touched the crates of krest so they brought it home and I started drinking it bottle by bottle. After a few bottle I was feeling anyhow and I vomited my guts out. That was the last day I touched that drink.

well , sumtin must kill a man

branhampaul:
I disagree with your list for several reasons which I have written below.

FIRSTLY, the English language as it is, is not a prescriptive language, but rather it is DESCRIPTIVE - in usage and essence. In simple terms, this means that English dictionaries reflect the way the language or words are used and not the other way (telling users how to use a language as if it is mechanical).

The way a language or word is currently being used is what is taught in schools and stored in dictionaries. Such is the beauty of English. English is not a mechanical language or a language with serious penalties for new usages.

Nevertheless the above, I accept that there are few rules, simple, to aid comprehension when speaking English, and these rules are usually related to concords; hardly are they adjectives or nouns.

If a particular region starts the use of a particular word (especially an adjective) in describing, it is very much welcomed and English language will update itself to reflect such speaking.

For the "barb" word you talked being wrong which Nigerians use daily, it has been taken by English dictionaries to reflect the way Nigerians use it. See the screenshot I attached below.

Further, for the word "trafficator" which you condemned, is obviously in one of the world most popular dictionary (i.e the English Android dictionary). See the further screenshot I attached below to this post.

I hope I have been able to educate.
For emphasis, let me repeat some of the key points I have made:

i. English language is DESCRIPTIVE, not prescriptive. And such is the best way for the language to be and progress, if not it would be static and might die off. Above all, such is its' beauty.

ii. New adjectives are created everyday, so you do not condemn an adjective a particular region or people speaking English have adopted. English should and will update itself to reflect such usages.

That is it.

nice 1 ,,thanks

femi4:
It's illusion, not real. Charlie Charlie was never a demonic name. Charlie is derived from a classic name CHARLES which means "free man/woman"

pls enlighten more

1. Trafficate/Trafficator


The correct word is "Indicator", when it's on a vehicle. When you use your indicator, the verb is "to indicate". The word trafficate doesn't exist in English. Trafficator is an obsolete word, used to describe an obsolete device on the side of a motor vehicle.

2. Night Vigil

A Vigil means a period of time when people remain quietly in a place at Night. So, really, there's no point adding Night to it when Vigils are known to mostly hold at Night. You may just want to call it a Vigil.


3. On/Off The Light

There isn't much to say about this grammatical blunder apart from the fact that each time you make that statement, make sure you add Switch to it. For example; Switch On the light/Switch Off the light. Can be used with any other object that can go On or Off


4. Reverse Back

Reverse already means; to change the direction, order, position, result, etc. of something to its opposite. So, if an object is in motion, it can be reversed. And when it is in reverse, it's surely coming back to it's initial position. No point adding Back to it.


5. Next Tomorrow

Most Nigerians generally use "Next Tomorrow" when speaking English. Please, stop murdering the English Language. The correct thing to say is; Day After Tomorrow.


6. Cattle Rearer

The word; Cattle Rearer does not exist in proper English dictionaries. Instead, you may say Cattle Herder. That's a more appropriate way of referring to people who raise/tend to cattle or other ruminant animals.

7. Convocate

Convocate is an archaic English word which means to call together or assemble but Nigerians mostly use it when they're graduating from tertiary institutions. Proper word is Convoke.

8. Plate Number

Most Nigerians including traffic law enforcement agents use the word Plate Number, which is very wrong. Number is supposed to come before Plate. So, basically, it is called Number Plate and not the other way round.

9. Barb/Barbing

This is very common among Nigerian men. Barb or Barbing does exist in the English dictionary but it has nothing to do with haircuts. You can go have your haircut at the Barbershop but you cannot Barb your hair because Barb means; a sharp projection near the end of an arrow, fish hook, or similar objects.

10. Short Knicker

Knickers ordinarily mean loose-fitting 'short' trousers gathered in at the knees. The British call it Knickers while Americans call it Shorts.

Unfortunately, Nigerians marry the British and American way of saying it together by saying ”Shortknicker




Source -- https://res.6chcdn.feednews.com/assets/v2/14104dfedcbd45b68b7a23cd86632606?quality=uhq&format=webp&resize=720

Mod pls, don't know how to add ( source link ) kindly help....

All this was posted on opera news by my friend ,,thanks

Sweet memories ,, shai I don dey old ooo

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