₦airaland Forum

Richy4:
I no noOo, I just dey ask.. baby mama dey leave with baby daddy for House?

I been think say them dey leave separately, the man dey visit am.. when he's convenienced to do so... Anyway I no dey too understand the baby mama baby father thing..

You will make a good finance minister.. the budget was alarmingly wonderful... Especially the 5 times soup in a month

If not for one thing, I would have asked you to ignore her for now... She won't find it easy looking after baby with zero income... When the financial burden starts, she will definitely come back... Also it's not every one that will like to train someone else's child when the father is alive... They will ask her to go back

her family might support her in training the child so me I want to train my child myself and that's why I am fighting to be seeing him

Mindlog:
Whichever you visit, your son's mother will also be feeding from whatever you send and that is the REALITY and you can not starve your son because of his mother, who is his primary caregiver.

So you both alongside your families, need to hash things out.

this month end I am trying to see how my family with hers would hold a meeting to iron things out then if they refused to give in to my plea then I will take the case to human rights.

Ovieemmanuel:
You see ehen you are in serious wahala only men passing through same thing would understand. Just find peace sha. Cause even if you settle with her it would be a reoccurring problem.

and that's why I don't want her back in my home because through this quarrel it simply shows that she doesn't appreciate but pretending to. So I wonder how I will be free to be doing things for her without nursing grudges.

KimFab:
I read your post properly. And thanks for the explanation.

5k is big, but it's not big too. Does she work? How does she buy things like clothes, shoes, etc.?

55k for business? You did well.

hope you read how much is my take home salary?

Mindlog:
If you love yourself, don't try that ..... Nigerian Police love such case, part of "settling" the case is you paying for their cost of logistics of tracking you down.

hmmmmm. Na wahala o. So what would you advise?

Ovieemmanuel:
who is the man. Quick answer

he claimed to be her boyfriend o. Honestly I couldn't sleep the night I received that insult then few days later I reported the incident to her mom then the mom claimed that the boy is her cousin. I just laughed and since that insult I didn't bother to call her again till now. It's two weeks today.

We4all:
If she was nice then, why didn’t you marry her? She is good for sex but bad to be a wife right?

Do you know the frustrations that comes with being just a baby mama to an uncouth and irresponsible man?

And on top of that, you are generous enough to give her 5K as monthly upkeep. I am so proud of you!

maybe you should reason with your brain and not your leg. A salary of 63k should I give her all the 63k for her upkeep or you didn't see where I stated how the money is being spent monthly? All these women Sha. As if you can finish your salary at home if you are in my shoes.

Ovieemmanuel:
It's not about condom. He did not deny the pregnancy the issue at hand now is resolve it apologise if need be . But get her something to do even if ita POS business.

I gave her 55k for business I didn't see result rather she's saying that my baby is distracting her. Even when she was doing the business before she gets home I cook and prepare dinner so that she would be stress free. I bathe the baby, wash his clothes, even washes her clothes atimes just to relieve her of stress yet she keeps saying that she's suffering in the relationship. Recently I called her to iron things out she gave the phone to another man and the man really insulted hell out of me. I really wish I could drop the audio here because I record any of our conversation since we separated so that she won't be twisting stories to her favor.

Mindlog:
Go to your state of residence's social welfare office and get them to invite the mother of your son, bringing your son along as you all have to work out how to go about co-parenting your son for his best interest.

yes, someone gave me this advise but I was told that FIDA will tell me to be feeding my child and his mom. I wonder how I will be feeding someone that is not grateful. Another person said that I should visit Human Rights.

Odunharry:
Less than 1k condom for make you avoid all the name callings.. Sorry bro. Please don't forget to take care of yourself also.

thanks, I am doing my best.

RepoMan007:
Lol. Give her suffering 2.0 assurance and she will return.

for me to do such thing I rather let her be. All I want is for me to be seeing my son when I want to but it's not happening at all.

KimFab:
Baby mama? 5k? For salt abi pepper? Anyway, na mumu dey do baby mama for Nigerian men.

That aside, your rent is high o, for someone who earns 63k. Almost 4 out of 12 months is spent working for your landlord.

like you did not read the post properly. I provide everything in the house. The 5k is for her to hold herself and at times I do give her 10k if I know that something would enter my hands that month. I gave her 55k for business I didn't see any results yet she's saying that I treat her as a slave.

Cutehector:
Why didnt you use condom sir?

who ever thought things would be like this? She was nice and very economical when we first started. I guess she was pretending.

FantasticJ:
I hate emotional blackmail.
This is not an advise oooo. But I will be sending 20K for my child monthly upkeep.

God help you I see my boy one day, that's the last time she will see the boy.

I don't have time for any manipulation.

ever since she left with my son I've not set my eyes on her neither my son else I would have negotiate how I will be fending for him but because no concrete agreement I just decided to keep calm though I am planning to visit human rights to table this matter before she will destroy me for my son then at old age I will now be struggling to make peace. I am not planning on taking the boy from her I told her that she can have him but at least let me be seeing him once in a while she and her family are hiding him.

ifihearam:
If she were your sister how would you feel?

if the man explain all these to me and I confirm from my sister that it's true then I will definitely blame my sister for being an ingrate. I accepted my fault for throwing her things out but you as a woman you just want to defend your gender.

ifihearam:
She did the right thing by leaving you...so you threw her out without caring for your child or her well being because she nag?? If i were her brother,you wont see that child again.

so make I die na abi? If I am your brother would you advise me to continue with such relationship?

hmmmmm. Wonderful. Me I earn 63k as salary and my rent is 210k annually. Below is how I disburse it:

Kitchen stocking - 25k.

Soup for the month (we cook soup 5 times in a month) - 15k.

Baby mama - 5k.

Light bill - 2k.

Purewater - 4k.

Stew, Beans, Moi moi: 5/6k

Gas - 5k.

Fuel: As the Lord leads but I do put on Gen almost everyday as far as there's no light.
Now if you observed you will see that I don't have any money for myself nor my baby, make sure I run other deals to meet up my rent and cater for my son.

Yet my baby mama go out to tarnish my image outside saying that I am treating her as a house girl, saying that she's like a slave, that she's in an abusive relationship this and that all the young ladies around my vicinity are all keeping malice with me because of her stories, they all believed her story.

Even when I try to talk people don't believe me. I got tired of the quarrels and nagging so I had to throw her things out and asked her to leave my house. Neighbors came in and intervened then asked me to consider my son that he's still a baby. I succumbed and left for work only for me to come back home that evening the 22nd of July and found out that she have left with my son that I love so much and yet all her things are still in my house.

Bring my baby sef all to no avail, oya let me be seeing him at least still no way. I've talked to her mom and siblings and all of them are taking her side saying a man is not supposed to throw a woman's things outside (even my family blamed me for throwing her things outside) oya I don agree sef still dey are hiding my baby that will be a year old on the 29th of this August from me.

Honestly her family wants me to settle with their daughter but to me I am no longer interested before I die of BP, so now they are using my son to blackmail me emotionally to accept their daughter back because they know that I love my son. If really I am suffering her and treating her like a slave like she always claim then I wonder why her family would want her to come back to my house to suffer.

Mind you, I don't even beat o, I only have bad mouth to reply her if she pisses me off. Honestly I am confused and don't know what to do because I really miss my son.

hmmmmm. Wonderful. Me I earn 63k as salary and my rent is 210k annually. Below is how I disburse it:

Kitchen stocking - 25k.

Soup for the month (we cook soup 5 times in a month) - 15k.

Baby mama - 5k.

Light bill - 2k.

Purewater - 4k.

Stew, Beans, Moi moi: 5/6k

Gas - 5k.

Fuel: As the Lord leads but I do put on Gen almost everyday as far as there's no light.
Now if you observed you will see that I don't have any money for myself nor my baby, make sure I run other deals to meet up my rent and cater for my son. Yet my baby mama go out to tarnish my image outside saying that I am treating her as a house girl, saying that she's like a slave, that she's in an abusive relationship this and that all the young ladies around my vicinity are all keeping malice with me because of her stories, they all believed her story. Even when I try to talk people don't believe me. I got tired of the quarrels and nagging so I had to throw her things out and asked her to leave my house. Neighbors came in and intervened then asked me to consider my son that he's still a baby. I succumbed and left for work only for me to come back home that evening the 22nd of July and found out that she have left with my son that I love so much and yet all her things are still in my house. Bring my baby sef all to no avail, oya let me be seeing him at least still no way. I've talked to her mom and siblings and all of them are taking her side saying a man is not supposed to throw a woman's things outside (even my family blamed me for throwing her things outside) oya I don agree sef still dey are hiding my baby that will be a year old on the 29th of this August from me. Honestly her family wants me to settle with their daughter but to me I am no longer interested before I die of BP, so now they are using my son to blackmail me emotionally to accept their daughter back because they know that I love my son. If really I am suffering her and treating her like a slave like she always claim then I wonder why her family would want her to come back to my house to suffer. Honestly I am confused and don't know what to do because I really miss my son.

tomtomastom4:
I created this thread in response to the post on front page about ladies that date men who earn less than 100k. Below is the link.

https://www.nairaland.com/7292274/ladies-relationship-men-earns-100k

Of a truth, its not easy to manage such amount, but when one is already in such situation, you just have to manage and improvise.
Now like the OP of the above thread requested, here is the break down of how we make our expenses.

To start with, I was earning about 130k previously before we got married by March this year, but I changed job and the pay of the new job is 95k. STarted the new job around Feb this year, even though there was a loan I was paying off.. Need I add that my wife was working in a firm where shes paid 45K, but two months after our married, she quit the job due to pregnancy stress. Am sure ladies will understand.

This is our break down.
Monthly salary 95k
I remove 40k first from the salary and transfer it to 3 different acct.
The first acct receives 20k. This acct is not touchable except on extreme emergency. Its our main savings acct.
The second acct gets 10k and its for our rent, also non touchable. Rent is 150k per year. Before u say my rent is high compared to my salary, I like my privacy very well. and the cost of rent isnt friendly in my state.
The third acct also gets 10k. This one is for semi savings. This acct is touchable when cash at hand have been exhausted before the next month salary.

From the remaining 50k,
I send 10k to my family acct. I and my brothers do contribute 10k+ every month and its been used to run expenses WRT our parents and last born.
I gv my wife 10k for her monthly up keep. Its small. But its the sacrifice we all have to make for the good of the family.
I hold 10k myself for logistics and transport. I must confess, is not enough. But One have to strive. My wrk place isnt far. SO transport is N100 to and fro, thats approximately 3k per month. The remaining money i use it for other logistics. 4k out of this money goes for gas wch last for abt 2 weeks. And when we want to refill and there is no other money left, we fall back to the 3rd acct.
The remaining 20k is strictly for food ( On this food issue is where I "duff my hart" cos shes really managing things well and trying.
Sometimes, I really feel for her, cos this her pregnancy makes her to crave for things that is not on our food menu, but then when the money is not there, she just surpress the cravings. At times I feel bad.

The remaining 5k, for now is used to pay back a tailor who sewed multiple pregnancy gowns for my wife.

Its good to add that any small money I make like 1k or 2k on side hustle, I directly buy mudu of rice, beans or flour for swallow.

Its not easy at all. But there are families with kids leaving below that.

My wife is abt 5mnths pregnant, we plan to divert the 20k savings to buying baby things in preparation for child birth.


The truth is that the economic situation in this country is bad and so cost of leaving is very high. But then one have to survive.
But then in Nigeria now, how many percentage of the population earn above 100k. In fact how many jobs out there pays such as amount.

The only advice I have for ladies is that if you are not working and you parent family is the type need financial help from your husband after marriage, or you are the type of lady that is high class and wont settle for less or manage with your man. Plz kindly wait and take your time to look for a man that is RICH or financially capable of taken care of you and maybe your family. Please dont hide under the cover of you want to marry quick and then accept a struggling man only to start putting pressure on his head. Plz wait and marry a rich man.

Most responsible men wont really appreciate it if you are always demanding for things you knw fully well that he can not afford.


It is also good to note that no condition is permanent, things will definitely get better. A better job might come or my wife might get a job after her maternity which will increase our income.

The bottom line is, as a couple, but of you will have to work things out to improve your finances.

hmmmmm. Wonderful. Me I earn 63k as salary and my rent is 210k annually. Below is how I disburse it:

Kitchen stocking - 25k.

Soup for the month (we cook soup 5 times in a month) - 15k.

Baby mama - 5k.

Light bill - 2k.

Purewater - 4k.

Stew, Beans, Moi moi: 5/6k

Gas - 5k.

Fuel: As the Lord leads but I do put on Gen almost everyday as far as there's no light.
Now if you observed you will see that I don't have any money for myself nor my baby, make sure I run other deals to meet up my rent and cater for my son. Yet my baby mama go out to tarnish my image outside saying that I am treating her as a house girl, saying that she's like a slave, that she's in an abusive relationship this and that all the young ladies around my vicinity are all keeping malice with me because of her stories, they all believed her story. Even when I try to talk people don't believe me. I got tired of the quarrels and nagging so I had to throw her things out and asked her to leave my house. Neighbors came in and intervened then asked me to consider my son that he's still a baby. I succumbed and left for work only for me to come back home that evening the 22nd of July and found out that she have left with my son that I love so much and yet all her things are still in my house. Bring my baby sef all to no avail, oya let me be seeing him at least still no way. I've talked to her mom and siblings and all of them are taking her side saying a man is not supposed to throw a woman's things outside (even my family blamed me for throwing her things outside) oya I don agree sef still dey are hiding my baby that will be a year old on the 29th of this August from me. Honestly her family wants me to settle with their daughter but to me I am no longer interested before I die of BP, so now they are using my son to blackmail me emotionally to accept their daughter back because they know that I love my son. If really I am suffering her and treating her like a slave like she always claim then I wonder why her family would want her to come back to my house to suffer. Honestly I am confused and don't know what to do because I really miss my son.

Greenbirth:
I remembered one time ago when I was traveling through boat in bayelsa then. All of a sudden another heavy boat heavily gauded with arm men appeared and capsized our boat.even as people where drowning, they were busy collecting all our belongings. Very wicked people in Bayelsa.

those are sea pirates. Very heartless people. I made a comment against them on Facebook last week na so Facebook ban me for 30 days.

This has been his handwork since. Even to pay his workers salary is a problem and if you demand for your salary he will beat you up and sack you.

grandstar:
Can Wike join APC with his arch enemy, Rotimi Amaechi, the minister of transport as a strong member? Well , there are no permanent friends or enemies, only permanent interests.

no permanent enemy in politics

ScamHunter:
So you guys just wrote on a paper and gave them to use as propaganda. I hope those children could read what you wrote? If they knew you're planning to sell their future to another round of looting, I'm sure they would think twice before posing for camera.

exactly my thought.

Abdul05:
Opposition parties at work....


Coup d'etat...


Buhari has nine lives,,,

The fierceness of the attack was done inorder to stop buhari from supporting tinubu..

Cos they knew this in their hearts that "buhari and tinubu are unstoppable '..

you don high?

Interested

Muslim mobs overpowered the DSS and the DSS couldn't shoot but if it were to be South the DSS would have fired our people. One Nigeria my preeeeq

Calibrator:
You are still on holiday.... All it takes is for one of your close acquaintances to win a substantial amount of money from virtual bet and the devil will whisper to your mind, the four most dreaded words in the world of gambling "E Fit Be You"

big fat lie from the pit of hell. Self determination and self-control is all that matters. I was once a very big addict but today I don't do it no more, if you like win 1 trillion I won't move. You don't know the peace of mind that comes with abstaining from gambling.

Kobicove:
Those people making noise that GBWhatsApp already have it should be aware that GB is a counterfeit product

but still doing the work of the so called original WhatsApp and even does better.

Lalami3232:
I don't take anything alcohol neither do I womanize or go clubbing. But wetin bet9ja dey collect from my hand pass who dey womanize, smoke, club etc


I don talk am before and I go talk am again, "if Dangote start to play virtual for bet9jq, he go wreck"

betting is worse than anything on Earth.

Michelle70:
Rivers

mtchewwwww

Michelle70:
I schooled in Amassoma.
BY is not a dirty state but there is no development in that state, the state na eyesore, thanks to dickson

which state are you from that you are condemning Bayelsa State?

GuyWise101:
Nna mehnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

A person from Bayelsa shouldn't have mouth to call Abians dirty.

you can't compare Bayelsa State to that your unclean Abia State in any ramifications.