liveyourlife:
Get someone to write amazing Blog posts for you
http://build.com.ng/write

Let me write superb content for your site that will give you a break to focus on the other aspects of blogging.

Op do you also need a writer that would supply your blog constantly fresh content that are 100% authentic??

Please let me know here...

Very Educative thread for blog owners.

With the ops permission:

If you need article writing services for your blog so that you can focus on the marketing and promotions that your blog also needs, you can check out https://www.nairaland.com/2572863/need-quality-content-could-revive

Blogoxygen, are you hiring??

It has been said that in the online sphere, information is value and we all know the rewards that an individual or company gets for offering value.


Do you need a constant supply of authentic and valuable contents that could revive your blog and increase its traffic? Or do you own a corporate website but will like to start a blog to promote your site??

State your website and contacts in the comments and let us begin connecting you with freelancers that will provide you a constant supply of fresh, SEO friendly articles to boost your online business.

dominique:
well said mamaput, in the past women were too submissive and took alot of sh*t from their husbands and their families. but nowadays, women are more confidence and men take it for arrogance. too bad.

I like to believe that there are ways to stand up for yourself without really being arrogant.

However, I don't believe that women are to blame for failed marriages because from my little experience with women, I find them to be extremely similar to computers in one aspect: You put Garbage in, you will get Garbage back.

I think, like someone above me said that both sexes are responsible for failed marriages. We do not take time to build a good foundations for our homes and we rush into a poorly built marriage which must surely fail during storms.

Secondly, people judge people by their past and by their mistakes hence bypassing your wife in the bid to avoid "bad girl" and ending up with a worse individual that was too afraid to let her true self show.

Interesting topic though...following!

Mindfulness:
Where there is poverty, there will be violence and crime.

True bro... that is why I did not add 'armed-robbery' and the likes. There are countries like New Zealand that are very poor and the poverty of their citizens is in multiples of that of the average Nigerians yet they have less of these evils than we do.

Is it poverty that makes a 40 year old man to stick his daaiacaakaa(just remove the As) into a 9 year old? If one is poor and hungry, where does he get the strength to rape a woman? Ain't there poor and hungry girls out there with boiling hormones ready to be toasted? Why should a particular girl blame poverty for pushing her into prostitution when there are 'broker' girls out there that are not prostitutes? If she had no other options then, why hasn't she left the job now since she has earned #300k monthly for the past five years?

Why should a man keep numerous girlfriends when he is poor and he has a wife that will readily let him 'stick it' anywhere? I know it gets boring but there are ways to spice it up and everyday, more sexual boundaries are being broke.

We can keep blaminig poverty for making us monsters. Somethings got to give bro

Get my vibe?

quivah:
what do you hope to achieve with this btw?

Quivah, Thank you very much for this question. I believe that I should have started with this before proceeding.

1) This thread intends to bring together a committee of introspective and/or concerned minds that have noticed how our society is quickly spiraling its doom and have a concern for that.

2) The thread intends to discuss and agree upon social issues and suggest solutions to them.

3) The thread intends to prompt its contributing members to be involved in translating the suggested solutions to actions as individuals and as a collaborative group and report on the thread.

The thread will through (3) :
i) Seek justice for oppressed and abused persons
ii) Encourage community participation in the rehabilitation of victims of rape and people disfigured through battery in marriage
iii) fight stigmatization and victimization of women and men around the societies in which it operates
iv) Actively participate re-engineering the minds of teenagers and youth that are prone to be violent/abusive
v) Promote the respect of marriage institution
vi) Teaching young men and women self-discovery and self-acceptance and self-improvement
as these are keys to mutual respect in any relationship

4) Involve in advocacy visits and fund raising to actualize the goals stated above.

I know these look magnanimous but you can summarize thus: " to begin a conversation about the increase of social ills and to initiate a system through which individuals can contribute to the reduction, and possibly elimination, of these social ills in their local communities"

Please let me know what you think!

N.B:
For the capitalistic mind: please note that several businesses can be built around these issues and this thread can give you a foot if it can beegin to gain traction and add value to people's lives!

quivah:

1. like I said, if both are condemned equally, infidelity will be on the low.. the men do it to the face of their helpless wives and society while women hide behind doors to do it...no woman can openly declare she's cheating,people will frown at her and the repercussions are unbearable mostly ... but men? lil or no condemnation and hence feel it's their birthright. .
11.. do you advocate more deaths or unhappiness as a solution to domestic violence?
temporary separation should come first,after which I support divorce if there'r no changes afterwards.
but staying put in such homes with the hopes of change is suicidal!
so,reports has it that sons from violent homes tend to be more violent because they actually follow the footsteps of the violent parent ,and even worse if the victim acts cool or helpless, they feel that's just right.. females from such homes grow to be helpless if they find themselves with violent husbands as they'v seen how their mums were and hence feels that's just right..

with this, domestic violence grows deeper. .
children from violent homes are more likely to perpetuate violence IMHO
while children from broken homes are more likely to be afraid of commitments

quivah, I believe there is something deeper than what I am currently able to comprehend in your posts but I have not been able to make it out. It is true that Men are unfaithful, very unfaithful if i may say, and condemning them would make promiscuity seem uncool but not too long ago- i am talking about a century back- men were more discrete and sensitive in matters of extra-marital relationships. Some books I read actually hinted on how a man seeks permission from his wife to marry a second woman and they normally co-exist hapilly ever-after. Today however men dont see women as people whose feelings they should worry about and that worries me.

Nooooo! I do not advocate deaths, unhappiness as solutions but I really don't think more divorce is desirable at this stage because i have seen the ills of divorce second-hand.

Please read the reply to your second question below!

400billionman:


The average Nigerian is wicked, has sold his soul to the devil, wants to see his neighbors children go hungry, wants to see his neighbor die, wants evil to happen to his neighbor, infact Bro, I have become very careful in helping people. Yeah, the very people you help today, are ready to kill you tomorrow. So much drama and double standard. It's like they are demon remote controlled. Yet churches are springing up everyday. It's an average of 3 churches per street in most places. So much gossip. When they see someone doing better than them, they use weapon of gossip to bring people's perception of him to their miserable level.

I can't understand why people want to pull others down to feel good about themselves. Talk about our politicians. Eating alone to die alone. That's another story.

People actually do not surrender themselves to God. They only pay lip service to religion. They lack self control. They lack fulfillment. They are full of confusion and lack inner satisfaction. So they strive to destroy anyone who possesses inner peace and fullfillment. I ask people to seek God genuinely.

Any man who does not achieve inner satisfaction on earth lives in regret in death. Only God can plan a man's life. I remember sometime in the past, I was a confused person. One thing confusion does to a man is that it makes him envious and jealous of people who are organized. So I prayed, father Grant me wisdom. Now there is hardly any issue I cannot resolve in minutes. God answered exceedingly well. This is not what government will achieve using punitive laws. It is a personal thing. Personal confusion leads to rape, killing ones neighbor, maltreating a house help, gossipping about others. Evil is like a seed. Before a man kills his neighbor, it was planned, it didn't start the very day it happened. It requires an evil seed and an evil mind to germinate to reality.

What I am saying is for discerning minds.

@400billionman, you nailed it. I guess your moniker speaks of your wisdom. Bro, your write up is so concise that it took me 8 hours to digest. Now check this out: the average Nigerian is wicked? I think the average man is wicked because these things are inceasingly happening everywhere. Remember the bus gang rape in India? Pedophile porn in America? etc.

I agree though that people do not surrender themselves to God but rather go babbling in places of worship. What you wrote is really for the discerning mind and I am WOW. You should start thinking of a personal development book from that perspective. it will be dope!

My take home from this is:"We can only improve the situation of things around us by being the best we can be morally and emotionally and then teach others how to do same". I am right?

quivah:
okkk jack Bauer. .goodluck

on a lighter note, these societal ills can only be solved if society as a whole shun hypocrisy and' not my business' attitudes

making a specific rule for a particular gender, and that same rule becomes no rule when it's about another gender. .. infidelity in marriages will be minimal if this society criticizes men as much as they do women.
rape will be minimal if the culprits are not supported or even pitied, thereby placing the blames on the victims(especially when they are not under aged).. not to mention the stigma
domestic violence can also be controlled,if we stop putting the blame on one partner and stop the preaching that a wife(mostly) is at fault...or even worse, advice such people to remain in the hell they call marriage, thereby giving the culprit a go ahead. .

all these societal vices are caused by the society itself giving women a different face in a situation while giving the men another face in that same situation. .
lets stop the hypocrisy !!

Wow Jack Bauer?? I am blushing!
Thanks for your contributions. Anyways, Ill need you to iron these issues out:
i) infidelity in marriages will be minimal if this society criticizes men as much as they do women.
These days Men and Women are 'equally' unfaithful in marriages. I put the word equally in quote because this is not a fact but an observation. i think i have seen as much unfaithful wives as there are unfaithful husbands out there. How does your above postulate 'sits' in that situation?

ii) domestic violence can also be controlled,if we ... ...stop the preaching that a wife(mostly) is at fault...or even worse, advice such people to remain in the hell they call marriage

Do you advocate more divorce(broken homes) as a solution to domestic violence??
I once read that male children from broken homes are more likely to perpetrate violence against their mates

Hoping to see you come back to clear the air....Thanks

400billionman:
Make I plan myself finish.

If you want me to plan the state, make me governor or President.

This is the same question I asked christine earlier: "is it really a government problem? Can't we as individuals begin in our little ponds to make a difference.

By the way, by answering this question, you are planning yourself. Just ask yourself this "How can i contribute to reduce the craze i see around me and on forums these days?" Do you see the answer playing out??

Now Voice it for us to benefit from your uniqueness!

kevinberry:
Am only going to contribute when you edit your post as a general problem,not blaming or painting one gender as the sole problem or major culprits..doing these won't solve anything

I am not painting any gender in the wrong light here. i stated clearly in the original post that I have not fully prepared myself to be responsible for a woman's hapiness and for the hapiness and comfort of her kids. I then made the same statemnet of some ladies I know. Please re-read the original post and make your contributions. We would love to hear what you think..

Thanks

christinie:
as a criminal prosecutor, I am aware that most crimes are committed due to people's inordinate ambition, lack of self Fear of God and self control, unhealthy competition among families/friends and associates, incessant bailing of criminals by the Police and the judges even when such offences are not bailable etc.
There is decay in family morals. Most families are dysfunctional. You see fathers raping their children claiming that they are lonely because their wives are not there.
The Government have to put in more measures to stop these offenses.

You have made some serious points here christine. I agree with the inordinate ambition being a reason for some of the unexplainable crimes that we witness these days. Don't you think that there is something you and I and every other person reading this thread can do to curtail this trend?? Or is it solely something that that government have to do?

christinie:
Nice thread.

any contributions christine?

What do you think is the reason behind all these?

This is the type of topicsthat should be making front page

Mods please we are tired of all the divorce stories we are hearing on here

Everyday we read about cases of accidents, murders, child molestation, rape, cheating in marriages, ritual killings, wife/husband battery and many gruesome happenstance in one place or the other and I began wondering what may really be wrong with our society.

Are we still humans? Are we still Intelligent creature or has computer intelligence really made us like cockroaches as predicted by Marshal Brian(read more at www.marshallbrain.com)?? What could really be the reason behind the prevalence of all forms of social ills in our societies? Can humanity still survive another century? Are we about to witness the collapse of this beautiful civilization we have created for ourselves?

I look at my life and the lives of young men around me and i found that as young men, we have not really taken time to improve ourselves to the point where the happiness and lives of a woman/women and her children/their children can become our responsibilities. I also find that the same can be said of most of the women- in this case i mean the female gender- that i know both in real life and online.
Could ill-prepared men marrying ill-prepared women be the reason behind all the grisly things that are happening in our today's society? If so how do we begin to fix things as young Nigerians? And if not, what do you think are the reasons behind our society's 'doom-boundedness'?

Disclaimer: I am not promoting Marshal Brian. I have no Affiliation with his work and as a computer enthusiast, I actually believe the opposite but he advocates that computers will make humankind as irrelevant as cockroaches in the near future and that is relevant to this topic.

mordijunior@gmail.com



Just make sure that we are not buying anything!

One of the most irking realities of the twenty-first century is that the ideas of gender equality, monogamy, independent women and working partners have really turned men into beings that are more or less an incomplete mutation of the masculine into feminine. So men now live a life of complacency. That original responsibility of providing for and protecting the pack has been taken away from our shoulders and so we have deteriorated into beings of mediocrity. And yet, we still want the best things of life in our mediocrity.

Boom! Twelve years ago, a man entered- or rather re-entered- the Nigerian public scene with a desire that many had and that desire is- to become the next president of Nigeria. At that moment, there were at least sixteen other contestants for that position and this man was from all indications the least eligible of them all. Why, because he has had a past of human right abuse, dictatorship, untried executions and many other hideous crimes. At the moment, he was the least financially capable of all the candidates and as per the future, he was the second oldest. So, from a superficial look of things, he was already facing condemnations from his past, his present and his future. Yet, after twelve years and several tries, this man-General Mohammad Buhari- emerged as the first Nigerian president whose election was most celebrated, even by the international community.

What happened to the other most eligible candidates, how did this man who was at the bottom of the ‘possibility chart’ made it to the top and even defeated the incumbent government? This and other factors surrounding his transformation from the least eligible to the most desired are going to be the focus of this series of articles.

Posing this question to Mr. Harry Ado, a political analyst and a member of the ‘Change is Possible’ campaign in Gombe State, his reply was intriguingly short: “Buhari was driven by a purpose” he said. “He did not just want to become the president of the country because he had something to prove or because he wanted to gain fame and power to himself but because he saw a problem and he wanted to address the problem. This purpose, speaks volumes”.

A desire is defined by the dictionary as a strong feeling of want for something while purpose is defined as the reason behind your want for something. From the above distinguishing definitions we can understand the power of a purpose. A desire is a feeling and we all know that feelings change. Because some of the candidates of the presidential race of 2003 only desired the presidency, their feelings changed along the line. But General Mohammadu Buhari had a purpose for wanting the presidency. He made that purpose clear to himself and that clarity helped him communicate that purpose to others –and to do so clearly.

He once hinted about the purpose in an interview where he said “…all the indices of good government have deteriorated: insecurity, unemployment, power failures, educational standards, health standards, the justice system etc. Wherever you turn, governance has taken a turn for the worse. Above all, corruption has taken a life of its own eating into every institution and every sector...and we want to fix this”. He was not for the presidency parse but for the opportunities it will give him to achieve his purpose and this led to his ultimate victory in 2015.

Now if you want to win in life, may be in your finances or your relationships or in your academics, you have to find a purpose. Have you noticed the way your family is struggling to make ends meet and you feel it is your purpose to change that? Do you realize that the only way to change your condition is by making a first class degree in Mathematics? Do you feel that you can only make a happy home sometime in the future by committing to building meaningful relationships today? Find a purpose and then find an avenue to achieve that purpose and commit yourself to it-in essence become driven by this purpose- until your purpose is achieved. This is how to win in life!

Source:http://sunmyke.com/win-life-gmb/

For other articles in this series:
http://sunmyke.com/win-life-gmb-2/
http://sunmyke.com/win-life-gmb-3/
http://sunmyke.com/win-life-gmb-4/

Be Wary of Companions!

"Bad Company corrupts good manners...” - The Bible

DMLords:
[center]Be Wary of Companions![/center]
[center]"Bad Company corrupts good manners...” - The Bible
[/center]
These days when the story of President Goodluck Jonathan is told, it is told in different ways depending on the place at which the story is told. In some places, it is the story of a man of honor, a man of sympathy and a man who keeps his words. In some places, the story is told as the story of a president, who mismanaged resources, was too weak to defend his country against Boko Haram and who let criminal get away with crimes. Whatever your perspective to this president, you must understand one thing: just because you see one side of a coin does not mean there are no other sides.
However, one fact glares us all in the face whenever we remember President Goodluck Jonathan and this fact is that he is the first incumbent president that was defeated in an election despite having all the forces of ‘good’ and of ‘evil’ at his command. And irrespective how media and other presidents want to paint this event as 'historic', 'democratic' and a thousand other appellations they use, there is a point to remember: ‘Failure is Failure irrespective of what you call it’.
In this generation, we have a culture of looking at things the light way. We give alternate names to our ills thereby making them easier to bear. We say ‘we were not completely truthful’ when we obviously ‘lied’. We say we ‘had an affair’ we obviously ‘committed adultery’ and we say President Goodluck Jonathan is a ‘true democrat’ when he obviously ‘failed at the polls’! Here is something to know: He could have been a true democrat even if he had won! But we are not here to point fingers. We are here to learn so our concern is to study the factors that led to his failure at the polls and to learn from them.
President Goodluck Jonathan was the case of ‘a good fruit among a rotten pack’. The people he surrounded himself with were not people that were reputable yet he failed to notice and change that. Here is my argument. When Sanusi Lamido was making a scene about the disappearance of petroleum money, the president was supposed to hear his case privately, investigate the matter even more privately, find the culpable ones and punish them publicly yet, he was complacent. He rather sacked Sanusi Lamido who went on international TV to clear his name therefore staining the image of the president and his cabinet. This turned millions of his sympathizers internationally against him. Also while the north-east was being bombarded daily by Boko Haram, a sect which is believed to be linked to Ali Modu Sherriff, President Goodluck Jonathan decided it was time he partied with him and take trips to Chad. This act was used as the greatest weapon against him in around the nation. It was told that he had been sponsoring the group clandestinely and the people were just fed up with the destruction they experienced. These acts resulted to the defeat he witnessed in the polls.
Let us not bring any religion or ethnicity to this. This was the case of a good hearted man who did nt know the power of image and the effect that friends and companions can have on one’s image. His friends and companions that were corrupt and of questionable characters and they were his woes.
In addition to this, his governors and subordinates had no fear or respect for him: Yea! We know about some of his subordinates that were double agents! I guess he had never read the book "the 48 laws of power". The truth is power has its cost. You cannot be a ‘good guy’ president. You are got to be in control! Either by continuously manipulating the masses, instilling fear in your subordinates or by gaining their respect or even by keeping them totally dependent on you!
So the lesson here is this: Be Wary of your Friends and Companions!
True Story!

http://sunmyke.com/goodluck-jonathans-most-important-messages-for-the-nigerian-youths-part-1/

These days when the story of President Goodluck Jonathan is told, it is told in different ways depending on the place at which the story is told. In some places, it is the story of a man of honor, a man of sympathy and a man who keeps his words. In some places, the story is told as the story of a president, who mismanaged resources, was too weak to defend his country against Boko Haram and who let criminal get away with crimes. Whatever your perspective to this president, you must understand one thing: just because you see one side of a coin does not mean there are no other sides.

However, one fact glares us all in the face whenever we remember President Goodluck Jonathan and this fact is that he is the first incumbent president that was defeated in an election despite having all the forces of ‘good’ and of ‘evil’ at his command. And irrespective how media and other presidents want to paint this event as 'historic', 'democratic' and a thousand other appellations they use, there is a point to remember: ‘Failure is Failure irrespective of what you call it’.

In this generation, we have a culture of looking at things the light way. We give alternate names to our ills thereby making them easier to bear. We say ‘we were not completely truthful’ when we obviously ‘lied’. We say we ‘had an affair’ we obviously ‘committed adultery’ and we say President Goodluck Jonathan is a ‘true democrat’ when he obviously ‘failed at the polls’! Here is something to know: He could have been a true democrat even if he had won! But we are not here to point fingers. We are here to learn so our concern is to study the factors that led to his failure at the polls and to learn from them.

President Goodluck Jonathan was the case of ‘a good fruit among a rotten pack’. The people he surrounded himself with were not people that were reputable yet he failed to notice and change that. Here is my argument. When Sanusi Lamido was making a scene about the disappearance of petroleum money, the president was supposed to hear his case privately, investigate the matter even more privately, find the culpable ones and punish them publicly yet, he was complacent. He rather sacked Sanusi Lamido who went on international TV to clear his name therefore staining the image of the president and his cabinet. This turned millions of his sympathizers internationally against him. Also while the north-east was being bombarded daily by Boko Haram, a sect which is believed to be linked to Ali Modu Sherriff, President Goodluck Jonathan decided it was time he partied with him and take trips to Chad. This act was used as the greatest weapon against him in around the nation. It was told that he had been sponsoring the group clandestinely and the people were just fed up with the destruction they experienced. These acts resulted to the defeat he witnessed in the polls.

Let us not bring any religion or ethnicity to this. This was the case of a good hearted man who did nt know the power of image and the effect that friends and companions can have on one’s image. His friends and companions that were corrupt and of questionable characters and they were his woes.

In addition to this, his governors and subordinates had no fear or respect for him: Yea! We know about some of his subordinates that were double agents! I guess he had never read the book "the 48 laws of power". The truth is power has its cost. You cannot be a ‘good guy’ president. You are got to be in control! Either by continuously manipulating the masses, instilling fear in your subordinates or by gaining their respect or even by keeping them totally dependent on you!

So the lesson here is this: Be Wary of your Friends and Companions!

True Story!

Mubi, the biggest commercial town in Adamawa state, was thrown into chaos the day Boko Haram descended on them and the people found themselves running for their lives. The terrorists shot sporadically, killing a lot of people while those who could escape jumped into any available car to run to safety. Christians, Muslims, Igbos, Yorubas, Tivs, Hausas and any tribe or religion, jumped onto any vehicle that was headed outside the town. Soldiers scampered onto trucks with civilians, begging to be saved, hundreds of people who could not get a vehicle ran into the hills. In their frantic effort to stay alive, no one paid attention to anybody's religion or ethnicity before asking them for help or helping them to stay alive. It was a community of people, united by their desire to escape the common enemy that hunted them all without discrimination. Ethnicity and religion vanished, all they were left with was their humanity. Those climbing the hills stayed together, helping one another stay on their feet as they all tried to survive.
The most interesting part of the narrative is that the Chief of Defence Staff, Air Marshal Badeh is from the same town of Mubi. It has been reported that few hours before the attack, helicopters flew in and evacuated his family members from the town. The chief of Defence staff by the way, is the most senior military officer in Nigeria and he controls the army, navy and air force. Before that sad day, someone from Mubi would have boasted that the Chief of Defence Staff is from their home town. But on the day that it mattered the most, he evacuated only his family members and abandoned everyone else to their fate. It means he had information of the impending attack and as the most senior military commander, he did not fly into the town to lead his men to battle to defend his community. He quietly saved only his family and left even the soldiers without an inspiring commander to motivate them to engage the terrorists and defend his community.
One lesson all Nigerians must learn from this story is that as a people, all we have is our neighbours. When you need some help at home, you knock on the door of your neighbour. The president, governor, senator or minister is not there to help you. Why then should you continue to fight your neighbour because of a man or woman who cares only about his own family? Our elites may deceive us about sharing the same religion or ethnicity with us, but time and again, they have proven that they do not care. We have been fools, killing one another on the basis of religion and ethnicity while they stay united across all the divides and plunder our wealth. The time has come for us to rise, educate one another and unite to fight our biggest common enemy. The politicians are our enemies and not the poor struggling men and women in our neighbourhoods.
What now will the people of Mubi boast about as the gain of having their son as the chief of Defence Staff? If you go to Otueke where Jonathan comes from, there are many people who live in excruciating poverty! There is still a lot of poverty and suffering in the home towns of all our governors, ministers, parliamentarians and former presidents, while they and their families live in scandalous affluence. The minister of petroleum spent over 10 billion Naira on a private jet. That money can end the poverty of several communities in her state. Stella Oduah bought two cars with 120 million Naira while there are people in her home town who can't afford 500 Naira to feed their family in a day. The time to throw away the sentiments is now! Support only a man or woman who has a just heart and will serve everyone and every community regardless of if they come from there or not. The moment anyone begins to talk to you about religion or ethnicity, reject him summarily! We need leaders who will unite us because our shared humanity is greater than any differences between us. And if someone does something wrong or fails in governance, do not support them simply because they're your own. This little things matter!

Hello Nairalanders. I think this is one of the most timely thread I have seen on Nairaland. Actually, I have been on Nairaland for a while but I have never dropped a comment till I came across this thread.

HIV is actually a just a name like someone rightly pointed out. I have been working in an ART clinic for a year now and the trend has always been the same: A young couple comes for test, probably in preparation for their marriage. One is found positive and the other not. Immmedately, you start to see the resentment in the partner that is not positive. Most people think you have gotta be So So Sexually Careless to be positive but it is not the case.

Please let us understand that a HIV+ person is still the same person he was before the test and is still a valuable friend(even though the prospect of sex has been kicked out of the equation)
Let us support HIV+ people and educate others on getting tested. The Ish is real!