₦airaland Forum

Savingz:
Nothing but the whole truth __=dreamxhaser post=138969187]

You're right to extent.

As for men who are "ugly," I don't think any man is ugly per se. The thing is, a lot of men don’t work on their looks.

Let me give you an instance. I am an average-height guy (Nigerian average) with a face that I would say is within to slightly above average, dark-skinned, and I have a good voice. How do I know? I have had women compliment my facial looks (though a few times), but almost every woman has complimented my voice.

In fact I won’t lie, i used to think i was ugly, women made me realize i am not.

I have friends who are as good-looking or even better than me, and they are way taller. We went to an event where there were a lot of girls. I dressed well, used a good perfume, a wristwatch, and everything. Guess what? All the girls' attention was on me; they were trying hard to get my contact too. My friend, who is 6’4” and handsome, confirmed it and was like, “These girls are into you.” The reason is because I dressed well and automatically look good better.

I also have another friend who is not tall. in fact, he is almost short, but has women tripping over him because he has a good "face card."


In fact, little things like your skin or haircut can make or break your looks. Some things are beyond our control, like height and facial features, but the rest is on you.

Another thing: there was a time I got a good haircut, took a picture, and posted it on my social media. Omo, you should have seen how people were hyping me! That same "me" got a skin cut a few months later, and even I could see the difference, I looked really ugly.

Also, women have specs (preferences). Don’t let anyone lie to you; some like light-skinned guys, some love dark-skinned guys, some love chubby men, some love skinny men (yes, some do), and most love tall men.

It's left for you as a guy to know her spec and know if you should keep pushing or not.


Just look at the Snowfall actor (Damson Idris); the guy is average, but when he dresses and comes out, every girl thinks he is handsome.

So, that money men use to chase women, use it to work on yourself and freshen up. Get a good skincare routine, good clothes that fit you, a good haircut, and many more. I promise you, you will move up the ladder from average to handsome.

Bro what is face card?
Does it deal with the jawlines, symmetrical face and the likes?

SixSeven:
Women don't have capacity for multiple heartbreaks or letting go of 9 other men especially if the 1 she chooses does not do well like the others.

Men do not perform well in a group interview setting. When a man realizes a woman is actively dating other men, his instinct is rarely to fight harder. Instead, he will protect his ego and steps back. He assumes the woman is not serious about him, so he stops investing emotionally.

This then creates a cycle where the woman thinks he does not care, but in reality, he is just matching her lack of exclusivity. This is why you see men wanting to know if there is someone else for you before you start dating. If he's not interested in knowing them, then he just wants to use you. Men know what they want but when they tell women, the options confuse them, that's why they keep choosing short term gains for long term grains.

Women are generally wired for emotional connection not multiple dating because it forces a woman to suppress her natural empathy and act like a manager. She has to constantly compare, analyze, and keep her guard up. This is why we also say it is difficult for women to cheat like men. It's not about competition. The nurturing nature of a woman is to care for her own. Even with children, give a woman 4 children, 1 for her , 1 from her sister and 2 from her in laws. You will see how she will treat them compared to her own child.


Treating dating like a game where the "winner is announced in church" will eventually backfires. You cannot build a deep foundation of trust while keeping nine other guys on reserve. The honest men who want a real connection will leave the game early because they dislike the drama. The only men who stay to "compete" are the players who enjoy the chase, meaning the woman usually ends up picking the most charismatic liar of the bunch. You got played sista!


Ps: this is another reason for having the marriage institution. To help the woman vet who is good for her in the long run, not for her to be playing cards like casino game

I love this, man!!

essentialone:
You just described a whole demographic that nobody wants to talk about because it makes everyone uncomfortable.

*“Involuntary single ladies”* — fine, educated, stable, ready… but still single. Not by choice. By market failure.

And you’re right: they’re everywhere. Hospitals, banks, law firms, tech companies, church choir, weddings. The complete package with an empty ring finger. And it’s not because “men are intimidated” or “their standards too high”. That’s lazy gist.

*Why it’s happening — the ugly truth about the dating market now*

1. *Too many options, zero filters*
Dating apps + Instagram + LinkedIn = everyone is accessible. So men keep “shopping”. Why commit to 1 great woman when 10 “maybes” are in his DM? He promises today, disappears tomorrow because tomorrow brought a new option. Women do it too, but men drive the ghosting stats.

2. *Serious men marry early, unserious men stay in circulation*
The guys ready for marriage at 28-32 lock down fast. Who’s left in the pool at 33+? Mostly: players, wounded men, perpetual “I’m not ready”, and broke men looking for a sponsor. So these solid women keep dating from a pool that’s already filtered for non-commitment.

3. *Timeline mismatch*
She’s 29-35, educated, stable. She wants kids + marriage in 2-3 years. She dates intentionally. The guy she meets is 35, “still finding himself”, “not under pressure”, wants to “see where it goes”. He can waste 2 years because his biological clock isn’t ticking. Hers is.

4. *She adjusted expectations, but the bar is on the floor*
These women already lowered standards: “Just be God-fearing, have work, and want family”. That’s bare minimum. Yet they still meet men who lie, cheat, can’t communicate, or want her to be mummy + girlfriend + ATM. So “adjusting” doesn’t help when the market is broken.

5. *Strong women get punished, not rewarded*
A doctor/nurse who paid her own bills, has her car, no drama, gets called “too independent” or “masculine”. Meanwhile, the high-maintenance, jobless babe gets chased because she “needs saving”. Some men don’t want a partner. They want a project. So the stable woman gets ignored.

6. *Women don’t approach, men don’t propose*
Culturally, she still can’t say “I like you, let’s date seriously”. She has to wait to be chosen. But the men choosing are unserious. So she’s stuck hoping the right one finds her in traffic.

*What happens to these women?*

You listed it:
*Some settle* – Marry the barely-available guy because “better than nothing”. Resentment later.
*Some give up* – “God when” turns to “God abeg”. Career, travel, cats, God.
*Some still hopeful but tired* – They’re dating but numb. Every new guy feels like another interview that will end in “we’ll see”.

And the worst part? *It’s not their fault.* They did everything “right”. School, career, character, prayer. But the market rewards vibes, not value.

*What the market isn’t saying out loud*

1. *Men are scared of responsibility, not strong women*
Marriage, kids, bills, in-laws — many men in Nigeria are running from that. So they date the stable woman, enjoy her peace, then run when she asks “what are we?” Because she represents adulthood.

2. *Attention is cheaper than commitment*
It costs a man ₦0 to say “you’re wife material” in DM. Costs ₦5M+ to actually marry her. So he distributes free compliments to 20 women and commits to none.

3. *Many women are involuntary single, many men are involuntary unserious*
He’s 38, still in situationships, telling people “good women don finish”. No, bro. You met 4 good women. You wasted 6 months each because you can’t choose.

*So what’s the way forward for these ladies?*

Because “just pray” isn’t a strategy.

1. *Stop dating in the general pool* – If every guy in your DM is 33+ and “not sure”, your pool is contaminated. Meet men through married friends, professional networks, places where commitment is pre-screened. Farmers market vs Night club.

2. *Time-box ruthlessly* – “I’m dating intentionally. In 3 months we should know if this is heading to marriage. If we don’t, I exit.” Say it early. Unserious men will flee. That’s the point.

3. *Stop adjusting, start requiring* – “God-fearing + has job” is not enough. Add: “Can plan a date, communicates daily, introduces me to friends in 2 months, talks about future without sweating”. If he can’t, next.

4. *Date younger if values align* – Many 28-32 year old men are more ready than 38 year olds. Age isn’t maturity. Stop capping yourself at “must be older”.

5. *Consider location arbitrage* – Harsh but true: Nigeria dating market is brutal. Some women find serious men when they relocate to other locations in Nigeria, or even to abroad. Different pond, different fish.

6. *Build life without waiting* – Buy the land, freeze eggs, travel, start business. So you choose marriage from abundance, not desperation. Men can smell desperation and they run.

*What men need to hear too*

If you’re a serious guy reading this: These women are not scarce. They’re just tired of auditioning for clowns. If you meet one and you’re ready:
1. *Say it early* – “I’m looking for a wife, not a vibe.”
2. *Move with clarity* – No “let’s see how it goes” for 1 year.
3. *Match her effort* – She’s stable. Don’t come with chaos.

Because right now, the best women are going single while the worst men stay in rotation. That’s how a society collapses.

*Bottom line:* The dating market don change, yes. Less clarity, less commitment, more options. But options without character = poverty.

These women aren’t “unlucky”. They’re in a rigged game. Solution isn’t “try harder”. Solution is “change the game or change the players”.

I love your explanation. Very explicit. You really stated the problems the society is facing.

Mankind2024:
Foreing App T212

Okay thanks

Mankind2024:
Thank you for your kind words. It is all by the special grace of God.
Sometimes I sit back and ask myself why God has bestowed this kind of grace on me. Truth be told, I am no longer even worried about my NGX portfolio.
Just look at what happened in my NYSE portfolio recently — it plunged deeply with unrealised losses of over $25,000. Yet, within a few days, it not only recovered but gained over $32,000.
Experiences like this must be shared so that others can learn. When the tide turns and a bear market comes, never surrender your quality assets at cheap prices. You may never be able to buy them back at those levels again.
By the special grace of God, I am now focused on growing my NYSE portfolio to $1 million by 2028. I believe I will achieve it, and when I do, I will post the evidence right here.
May God preserve us all till then.

Bro, please which app do you use in running your stock. I actually love your portfolio. Very enticing.

I thought Trump doesn't like a dictator. Why hasn't he arrested the president of North Korea? Or has he not heard this?!

Before you both started dating, didn't you see her posts before now?

Your answer to this question will slove the issue.

Dangote is our John D. Rockefeller.

Rating: 8.7/10

DelilahMakinde:
How do you preserve fresh fish on a ship without freezing it ?

There are varieties of ships designed for different products. Fishing vessel is used for fish and other sea foods.

This ship is mostly made of freezer inside of it to preserve the seafoods pending thr time they would spend on sea before arriving at the port for distributions.

Rating: 8.9/10

Jughead29:
Somebody should update this scoreline sharply, because barca go collect today

CNF sports app

I am very sure the signs were there while you both were dating.

The day of the Jackal.
So interesting a series.

dulaman:
are they taken online?

Nope. They are offline courses.

dulaman:
I just love this sector but don't know where to start

It requires to have some marine certificates from marine academy.

1Sharon:
So baby mamas are immune to paternity fraud

There is DNA to decide. If not mine, it is easier to part ways than when compared to having a wife which destabilises the man's mental health.

Accept it or not, many men will opt for baby mamaism in coming years.

Ladies, now tell me why many more men wouldn't opt for baby mamas. Cos to have a wife is like writing a suicide note.

Carcholce:
You don’t have to do hit and run else you’ll continue running and never get the real experience to filter out the good ones from the bad ones. The mistake I made in the past.

If you are spiritually inclined, you can spot a girl that is manageable and ready to learn. Even if her head is full of shlt at the time you meet her, provided you notice she’s willing to learn, no need to hit and run. Teach her the things you know about life, give her corrections at the appropriate time.

Watch what happens after. A lot of women are ready to learn from us but we are not ready to teach them. Some of us do not even have anything tangible to teach them. The honest truth.

You are right on this. At the same time, most men don't wanna be patient with women anymore cos of their past experience with them.
Most men dont wanna be a prey.
Most men don't wanna compromise.
Most men dont wanna be vulnerable.


Cos all these cost them a big wound in the past. I doubt if corrections/solutions can be made to re normalise things in this generation. Else it gonna keep getting worse and tougher.

chiiraq802:
Nigerians are easily deceived.

I never tried such, ah dey ment

I know someone whose phone got spoilt because of tap tap. lols (if that guy catch the person weh introduce tapswap, him for kill am)

This your comment make me laugh out loud 😂😂😂😂

Guys, stop taking women to food dates. There are other places dates can occur, parks, museums, beach, coffee shops and the likes.

Y'all guys are creating avenue for leeches when you take them to food dates. With the above mentioned, you will detect your answers quickly with them.

Men, when you gather enough cash, try other African women. Our mentality here in nigeria is bleeped beyond repairs!

The circle of entitlement continues.

Whether true or not, anytime a man doesn't agrue with you [women] relating on matters that you[ladies] know is not right, just know you have lost the man.

A man corrects and scolds you[ladies] cos he likes you and sees a future with you. Otherwise, you are just in for fun sake but he will only portray you a lovely girlfriend in your presence by giving you a free environment to do whatever you like.

Kemzee01:
Rule out the environment (the workplace)
I personally don't display affections at workplace I see her as my normal colleague. My problem is her putting herself in the gf position when she haven't made any clarification on what I told her... She wants to go when I'm leaving, ever since this started I don't spend on transport(she do pay for me and her).... and I've never invited her to my house(which I feel it's like a thriller to her) cuz I want her to be the one requesting to know where I'm staying. I don't want to look desperate.

I don't want a situation I'll say okay she's mine only for her to embarrass me with "I never said yes" kind of.

Then enjoy the moment with her. Don't get carried away by the affections she is displaying.

I find it hard to have sexual romantic relationships at work place. I wonder how some men do it.

It breeds disrespect and see finish in the end. Then both of you will become strangers after the brouhahaha is done.

YOU

Op, low self esteem men use money to start a relationship. Sadly we have too many low self esteem and weak men in the society.

You learnt your lessons. Don't be the guy women walk over without consequences for their actions.

RoadMozart:
Story
you go still love again. I was once like you. Sweet loverboy. despite many lessons.... the one wey off my sense for love na wen i catch the girl with my boss.... in the act.
I just hang boot.
ever since i don't care about love anymore. Became a heartless and hardened person relationship wise.

It is in women's nature to discipline weak men. If you hadn't seen her with your boss, you wouldn't learn.

Marco Polo

Seafarers/ Marine section.