₦airaland Forum

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As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing like "God said I must or will marry you", in the sense that God's revelations to us are not that direct and point blank.  God does not specifically make a marriage work, so no one should fall into that folly of "God said, " (especially ladies).  A marriage would never survive nor be meaningful and enjoyable unless it is built upon mutual respect, similar interests, trust, faithfulness, understanding, deep friendship and intimacy, great attraction and affection, sacrifice, etc.  Once a party in a marriage begins to feel used or coerced into the marriage, the marriage is almost as good as being nullified.

Personally, I do not believe in the notion of a particular soulmate.  I would rather say that there are several, may be, few potential soulmates out there (not all the people you meet).  It is then left for each person to make the best out of whomever we meet.  There is no need to be desperate or think that we owe anyone the obligation of marrying the person, even after engagement (though it is better to give it much thought before accepting to accept a man's hand in marriage).  There are women who walked out of what they thought would be a depressing marriage right at the altar, just like some men have pulled off their cassocks at the altar few minutes (even seconds) before their 'aborted' priestly ordination.

Pity your friend is a "born-again", reason she may not want a divorce.  Hence, she could work towards developing some attraction for her "husband" before the wreck of the marriage destroys her forever.  She could also talk to her pastor about it (hoping her pastor would not advice her to leave her current husband to come and marry him - the pastor).  What is more, I would not think she needs to go apologise to the second guy, unless she is thinking of leaving the current guy for him.  She owes no one anything in this case, as far as I am concerned, hence she is free to take any decision she feels is best for her.  If she eventually strongly feels she was tricked into the current marriage (which is even about enough ground for the Church to classify the marriage as a nullity if she were Catholic, though I doubt she is), then she should get out of it as soon as she can summon the courage to and go look for someone she really connects with.

Without enough attraction (mutually), a relationship, nay marriage, is hanging on a very thin string.  Any little problem would make the string snap!

Just my two cents.

dau

Well, reading them is one thing, making effort to put them into practice is another.

I wouldn't even let her be my girlfriend, in the first place.

Ima have to share these with ma gurl. Nice one.

Cleofel:
HIV can de cured so i think if u really love her go ahead and marry her

Yea, I believe HIV can be cured, but for now, no cure yet. However, if she's someone I really love, I would go ahead and marry her.

mo money:
first is to know weather you are also infected, and secondly, what is the need getting married when we are both infected of it(HIV)? is it to start producing HIV infected babies?

still, if i go for a test and i'm negative, na thanks giving for church naaah, and after then _{i go cable without looking back. afterall she go don go get am somwhere wey i no no}

more seriously, i will terminate that love making relationship and start a new caring one.

Well, Mo, there's the option to adopt instead of producing HIV infected babies. More so, if she's the only one infected, then we could still have the chance to produce HIV negative babies using the modern mother-to-child transmission prevention medications and techniques.

@Cleo
I love the pic on your profile. Wish I'm the one the palmwine is to be served.

Lolyda:
I can marry her,AIDS is only a virus whose effect can be nullified&it dies!it's only a matter of nullifying d effect during SEX

What do you mean by nullifying the effect of the virus during SEX? Never heard of that before.

From the hands of avaricious leaders deliver us O Lord - Lord hear our prayers!
Through Christ Our Lord I pray. - Amen!

Now, where the ladies @?

Sorry, but Mr. Obua, are you by chance a brother to Mr. Uchenna Anthony Obua, who is now in Italy?

Hmm, I guess we don't have much of Abuja Nairalanders round here. Now, one of the reasons I still think Abuja sucks, rather than rock! Ima have to go back to P.Town soon!!!

@ solosqr,

Such a pitiful story. Duon't even know what to say bout this one. Dayum!

Just take it easy, man. Take it like a man, broe! Let's hope time heals your wound enough for you to enjoy a better life without her. Taje your refuge in the Lord and He'll show you some sister whose love for you would not allow you feel any misery again about what has happened.

Our people say that whatever one does for a woman is a waste unless the one is married to the woman. I'm beginning to learn not to hinge any serious hopes on gurls, and I've come to realise that it's never advisable to open up all your life to a girl in all honesty.

It shall be well.

Luscious! *drooling*

Does she sing too?

Ok, babycool, I. . .
. . . reside in Abuja,
. . . am about the same age with you, but def look younger than you,
. . . am not good-looking,
. . . don't know how to swim,
. . . have never bowled in my life,
. . . am sex-starved (apparently looking for sex),
. . . am a recent graduate (apparently financially unstable), and
. . . am not an applicant, because I'm going back to school next year for another undergraduate study (2nd degree).

Now, don't you think I'm what you need, if you really know what you want?

mathways:
If he's not good in love-makin' that implies he's new to it.It'll take time for him to come up as a sexually active being.U don't expect a first-timer to be "Killer Mike",do you?To most guys,their early sessions are really awful.I think u just allow him indulge in the act and even if he doesn't make u scream at first,u let him continue and at the same time telling him what to do especially if he seems ignorant about them.His performance would increase at a geometrical rate and might graduate first class from the love-making tutorials.B4 u know it,he'll be the sex freak and u the scream-freak who groans endlessly from unending ecstatical orgasmal state.
I passed through similar experiences and though I'm not Sean Michaels,I'm definitely satisfied with my sexual life.And besides,Sean Michael didn't become Killer Mike overnight.It took some practice and time.
In a nutshell,that novice you're makin' a jest of now can make u come in a way u've never experienced if he practices in the right way and doesn't have sexual disabilities.Remember,with practice one improves in a geometric fashion.
Mcyoh of spb

That's what I'm talking about!

Odeku:
GUYS keep one thing in mind, it takes one woman to put a guy in the grave, but it takes 6 men to carry him there, so LAURYN, so we guys are in the same trouble

So true! lol!!!

pati:
Douzy, no be by force o! it is really terrible when a woman feels nothing for you , haven't you realized that yet ? i will advice you get over her for your own good because, this kind of woman even if u eventually marry her she will make your life a living hell.

Yea, it's def not by force, and I'm the last guy to force any gurl into a relationship and ish, cos I believe that what is mine is mine, and I wouldn't really need to fight for it. It's always been so with me, cos I'm kinda a semi-pacifist. If you understand what I said on my previous post you would find out that I'm already slowing my tempo down in the relationship cos i don't wanna look so needy and ish. I'm just a few steps from walking away like Craig David.

Anywayz, thanx a bunch for your advice and the supporting scriptural quotes.

BTW, where do u stay in Abuja?

chamoni:
@ Douzy.thanks bro. for responding and i respect your points.what baffles me is your wide knowledge of the female needs when it comes to males.probably u were a female in your former life(hope no offence).talking about experience and strenght in a younger guy,that is something that will be attributed to individuals and not a general stuff.as a matter of fact,i know a few ladies that are married to younger guys and are living happily as if it were older men.so don't give me that ''strenght and experience'' stuff and expect me to concur with u.

Ok, Chamoni, I wasn't making a categorical nor generalised statement. It's only a matter of numbers (statistics). You can try to find out the ratio of younger men marrying older women to that of older men marrying younger women (all living happily).

They say I look like my mum. May be, I'm her living incarnate, lol!

Ok, iice. I think we are saying virtually the same thing. Welcome aboard!

*digressing* Time to shower, I"m outta here!!!

Ok, iice, it's time to hop unto the bathtub! See ya when I get back later in the day. Have fun and enjoy your stay here as I guess you always (or often) do.

Ok, I may have over-generalised, but from statistics, it appears the points are mostly the case. Well, iice, good thing you're a female. Since you appear not to be much in agreement with ma points, may be you'll be in a better position to tell us why it's "often" so that girls prefer older guys. I think I would love to know more about this.