₦airaland Forum

henrychubayo: Consider this 3 states.
CALABAR, ENUGU, ASABA. VERY VERY GOOD STATES.

holyvirgin: Take asaba out,replace it with portharcout and you have perfect places

Hordunlarmy: Cameraman no fit fall na bcause he cary vision for hand

VULCAN: @Durchmann

As is the norm with the average nyja they thrive on hypocrisy. Most of the people screaming "forgive forgive" are holding grudges against at least 5 people and at least one of those 5 grudges is more than 5 years old.

None have given you a practical technology on how to forgive. Na by mouth!

Having said this; Divorce is a dark path. Its no joke.

Aside from her saying the boy is not yours you havent said anything that most men are not experiencing in their homes so till you shed more light on your case I will say that is more of the norm than an aberration.The modern day life is one that places a primary importance on financial stability and most nigerian women are brought up to be dependent on a man.

Few black wives mistreat a rich and successful husband.

Please take the boy for DNA test as a first step as no woman in her right mind would joke about such a weighty matter. Im not a mindreader but for her to say that and coupled with her constant harrassment it appears she has built up a great deal of resentment against you. Perhaps she wanted to marry the father of the child(if it turns out the boy is not yours) but was unable. She definitely sounds like a woman whose heart is fixed outside.

After the DNA test(hopefully the boy is yours) you should sit her down for a last ditch effort. If after that discussion she decides to maintain her trajectory then you call in a matured mind from her family. If no dice then you initiate moves for trial separation. Four months is long enough for her to decide if she wants to continue in her ways or amend.

Pls note i am making a lot of assumptions here- from the calm way you sound I'm believing that you are the victim. It would be a shame if we later find out that you are the monster.

Its only if after the four months trial separation that she remains intransigent that one should talk of divorce- not before.

Pls note that spiritual counselling throughout all this is a very important requirement. Prayers coupled with meditating on the Scriptures will yield great dividends.

nbright: Pls let's try not to confuse someone here even though we meant him/her good. You can't just forgive an unrepentant person, let him/her show remorse for his/her deeds then you consider if you will forgive and for you to completely forgive you have to forget which is very hard that also means you haven't forgiven your offender if you don't forget. Mr. Man, many posters asking you to forgive will also turn against you if they read something like this in the papers or on net "man kills wife", they will be the first to say.. "men are beast", "why are men so wicked" etc... Guy if you know divorce will bring you peace and rest of mind, do it but think twuce before you do it.. Think of the kids, think of how it will be in the long term, you might see a lady that you like and want to marry again but she won't like the kids (she might want her son to be the first) so she might try to fatally harm the kids... But in anything/action you want to take, remember don't do/go about it in a violent way..

Toks2008: Cool down bro.

I am also a married man but my wife and i have been separated for about 4 months now and the reason is incompatibility according to her not me.

We met 12 years ago and married about 6yrs back. Nevertheless i don't wish for a divorce an even till till seconds ago we still chatted and im still asking her to come back.

Marriage is a union between two forgivers. See Bro, aproko dey sweet but the end is destruction. To be a single man gives us that feeling of freedom to look for a firmer boobs but believe me its not worth it.

Ever since i met my wife 12 years ago, i have never seen the undies of another lady because i fear GOD and love her and even for these over 3 months we have been separated, im still without any lady despite having crazy hard on every now and then BECAUSE ADULTERY REMAINS ADULTERY WHICH EVER EXCUSE YOU GIVE TO COMMIT IT AND REMAINS A SIN..

It takes the fear of GOD and a forgiving heart to make any relationship work so think again and reverse your steps on divorce. I am not just writing trash but i am also experiencing a potential divorce case so there is no better person to advice you than myself. And it is this situation im going through that made me write that piece on marriage.

Toks2008: Cool down bro.

I am also a married man but my wife and i have been separated for about 4 months now and the reason is incompatibility according to her not me.

We met 12 years ago and married about 6yrs back. Nevertheless i don't wish for a divorce an even till till seconds ago we still chatted and im still asking her to come back.

Marriage is a union between two forgivers. See Bro, aproko dey sweet but the end is destruction. To be a single man gives us that feeling of freedom to look for a firmer boobs but believe me its not worth it.

Ever since i met my wife 12 years ago, i have never seen the undies of another lady because i fear GOD and love her and even for these over 3 months we have been separated, im still without any lady despite having crazy hard on every now and then BECAUSE ADULTERY REMAINS ADULTERY WHICH EVER EXCUSE YOU GIVE TO COMMIT IT AND REMAINS A SIN..

It takes the fear of GOD and a forgiving heart to make any relationship work so think again and reverse your steps on divorce. I am not just writing trash but i am also experiencing a potential divorce case so there is no better person to advice you than myself. And it is this situation im going through that made me write that piece on marriage.

Toks2008: Cool down bro.

I am also a married man but my wife and i have been separated for about 4 months now and the reason is incompatibility according to her not me.

We met 12 years ago and married about 6yrs back. Nevertheless i don't wish for a divorce an even till till seconds ago we still chatted and im still asking her to come back.

Marriage is a union between two forgivers. See Bro, aproko dey sweet but the end is destruction. To be a single man gives us that feeling of freedom to look for a firmer boobs but believe me its not worth it.

Ever since i met my wife 12 years ago, i have never seen the undies of another lady because i fear GOD and love her and even for these over 3 months we have been separated, im still without any lady despite having crazy hard on every now and then BECAUSE ADULTERY REMAINS ADULTERY WHICH EVER EXCUSE YOU GIVE TO COMMIT IT AND REMAINS A SIN..

It takes the fear of GOD and a forgiving heart to make any relationship work so think again and reverse your steps on divorce. I am not just writing trash but i am also experiencing a potential divorce case so there is no better person to advice you than myself. And it is this situation im going through that made me write that piece on marriage.

akunmefula: divorce is never an option, u can only remarry when she's dead, but getting a divorce while she's alive is an everlasting adultery and a sin not forgiven. Who are we mortal not to forgive one and other, remember this, we spit @ God our creator each seconds if d day, yet in our unfaithfulness to Him, He remains faithful, go get ur wife back, try and make your own part known to God that you have forgiven her to avoid the judgement on you, but if you wish to continue, you won't settle for another unless she dies, which sets you free from the law of divorce in the bible. THINK GOD AND HIS LOVE BEFORE YOU ACT

Durchmann: [/quote][quote author=akunmefula]divorce is never an option, u can only remarry when she's dead, but getting a divorce while she's alive is an everlasting adultery and a sin not forgiven. Who are we mortal not to forgive one and other, remember this, we spit @ God our creator each seconds if d day, yet in our unfaithfulness to Him, He remains faithful, go get ur wife back, try and make your own part known to God that you have forgiven her to avoid the judgement on you, but if you wish to continue, you won't settle for another unless she dies, which sets you free from the law of divorce in the bible. THINK GOD AND HIS LOVE BEFORE YOU ACT

sanb: It must really hurt so bad; hence your decision to seek a divorce; but there’s the saying: "Two wrongs don't make a right”……revenge is never a good option…Unsure if you've got kids together-think about them. Whatever happened between you and your spouse must have been pretty bad for you to come to a decision to seek a divorce. Having said that, that’s why facilities for counselling exist for you to determine if a reconciliation exercise can be done between you and your spouse.

Remember, she once meant the whole world to you otherwise, you probably wouldn't have married her in the first instance and said “I DO” so what has changed that has made you very bitter not to forgive her even though you might come to the conclusion that she doesn't deserve it? (Hope I'm not sounding too blunt).....

Think very seriously; cos divorce in some cases is not the answer…rather sitting down and analysing the root of the problem together would probably hinder its re-occurrence.....cos if that is not done and checked, it could be carried over into your next relationship....Be wise....wish you peace.....
[quote author=hajieazi]@ Durchmann

I know how you feel my brother...l bet you, God'll rebuild your home, It's difficult to FORGIVE... but certainly NOT IMPOSSIBLE. I was equally at a cross road some years back, l chose to FORGIVE HER, and challenged God to give me peace... it's not possible for anyman to live a thousand year again,for the few years that l have to live, l've made up my mind to take full and complete benefit of each passing day.
l appeal to you to have a rethink, remember the good times(if any),forgive her and challenged God to take control of your relationship. May God lead you to the right path,....the path of success and undiluted happiness. I wish well.

salt 1: Will the divorce bring the joy and release? The truth is No! Resentment is a pain we carry about. No legal dissolution of the marriage can wipe it. The only time it's wiped is when we forgive and mend relationships.

I have been there so I know what I'm talking about. I regained wholeness by forgiving.
Don't rush to sever relationships which pride and arrogance may not let you go back and mend again. You loved her once! You can love her again! Nobody says it's easy. No good thing is easy and breaking up is far easier than building up. But ultimately, it is worth it. Not so much for her sake but for your own sake. This gift you will give yourself, which will cost you only humility, may save you from high BP, stroke, arthritis etc in later life.
I wish you JOY!

salt 1: Not really! Forgiveness is given to an undeserving person. It is ultimately a gift to YOURSELF because in forgiving, you let go of all bitterness which is like acid in your system causing you physical and emotional harm. Try forgiving and you will see how all the bottled up feelings will thaw and disappear, freeing you to live and love again.
The other party may not deserve it but YOU do deserve the joy and release that come with forgiving somebody.....who hasn't even asked for it. It gives you a taste of the divine.

salt 1: Please please and please, call your wife back. That is, if she is your first wife. Divorce is never the answer. The next person will not be better which is why second marriages crash even faster than the first ones. Please re-consider and re-unite your home. Don't carry anger and resentment: it poisons the bearer more than it does the target. I beg you on her behalf to forgive and start again

Durchmann: I understand what forgiveness means but i think it is given to someone whose actions demand such. I considered all these and so much before i made my decision.
Besides, i don't intend going into another marriage for any reason whatsoever. I prefer the single life for now.

gbemsy: Think twice b4 giving the divorce, I don't what she did but pls has God to intevern b4 letting go

sanniemoe: If your mind is made then go ahead so far u satisfied with it.used to ask myself why wld anyone opt for divorce but when my gf started acting up, I felt terrible initially but later on, reality set in and I realize, its my life..letting go might hurt but my happiness is ultimate. Bless u man

ooua: Don't agree with you. For the fact that you gave it a little thought means your mind is not made up. Unforgiveness is the only thing that can lead to divorce. If you cannot find a place in your heart to forgive someone you claimed to love, tell me how you can forgive anyother. Unless you do not plan to go into another, then you will find out its all the same. Only if there is a threat to life at least you can start with separation to see if things can be sorted out. The cost of divorce is huge especially where children are involved, their hearts are broken.

lyfunited: Some people spend their whole life sourcing for info about other people's Life. It's called joblessness

yuzedo: No hope bro. I gradate 2.2 uppper from prestingous universety since 40yrs ago. No job. No punny. No anytin!

I have desided to take matters into my very own hands. I want to do oil bunkery. Palm-oil bunkery. or kidnappy. Dat is disposeable kid nappy.hope somebody can send me richard card to sell, af not eat good food since last years.

yinkaoke: I have an idle fund of about 300K and am contemplating on where to invest, I need some advice though I have the following in mind

Treasury bill 150k
Bond 100k
shares 50k
Mutual fund ?

I am investing low in shares to hedge and take some risk which could fall on either side. If negative then my returns on the fixed instrument can cover up. OR WHAT DO U THINK HOUSE?.
I could also invest in mutual fund but from my review of price history on Stanbic IBTC asset management website, I observed this is not a good time to buy mutual fund as the prices are high, so I will wait till year end or early new year when the prices are always low according to record anyway.

If any one has a contrary view pls help me out with prove.

Jakumo: Where charges of genocide and human rights violations are being formally submitted to the International Criminal Court in The Hague, Netherlands, for prosecution and arrest warrant issuance, the petitioner country or organization is REQUIRED to PUBLICLY identify the culprit, and PUBLICLY level the relevant charges, in order that the accused party, who in this case is of course Ayatollah Buhari Bin Laden of the Boko Haram suicide terror gang fame, may PUBLICLY refute or confirm the charges on which they will shortly be arraigned in Holland.

For those uncertain about the evidentiary basis upon which Ayatollah Buhari would be eligible for trial by the International Criminal Court, over the killings he implicity ordered during and after the most recent Nigerian presidential elections, please recall the legal precedent set when those who encouraged the killing of "cockroaches", in radio broadcasts made during Rwanda and Rurundi's brutal civil wars, are today serving LIFE jail sentences in Holland, courtesy of the same International Criminal Court that is now on track to throw the book at Nigeria's very own Dhick Dastardly - Ayatollah Buhari Bin Laden of the "Blood will flow if I lose this election" fame.

Those who still bay half-heartedly at the moon, while ululating about the "proof" needed to send Ayatollah Buhari to trial for instigating election mass-murder, and for introducing Nigeria to the horror of suicide-bomb massacre, one can only hope that the eventual and inevitable life-imprisonment of Ayatollah Buhari Bin Laden does not lead to yet more suicides by disgruntled Enemies of Frogress, otherwise known as stubborn and persistent corpse-flies who keep feeding until the crypt is sealed forever.