coputa: Courtship is a period when both partners pretend to be a nice and better person....they try to outdo one another in the game of deceit.....after marriage they begin to show the monster in them.....marriage is meant to complement one another,tolerance and making amends....

It depends on the duration of courtship. I recommend minimum of 3years. It will be very hard to pretend for this long especially when you both spend ample time together and not funny unrealistic far distant affair.

congratulations on ur wounderful piece, u v done great xploits my friend.

Long courtship will actually help one to know his/her partner better..but long courtship dont always end in marriage,probably due to the fact that they 've seen their shortcomings..,marriage is fast when both partners are daydreaming lol,...that is,they are in fantasy land..

Very well written. I have been happily married over 10 years and must say the OP hit it on the nail!

OP, give honor to whom honor is due.

Plagiarism, in any format, is a crime. Please ensure you credit the author of any article when you copy and paste write ups.

The original author, and her other works, can be found here: www.meetifesinachi.com

Toks2008:

Cool down bro.

I am also a married man but my wife and i have been separated for about 4 months now and the reason is incompatibility according to her not me.

We met 12 years ago and married about 6yrs back. Nevertheless i don't wish for a divorce an even till till seconds ago we still chatted and im still asking her to come back.

Marriage is a union between two forgivers. See Bro, aproko dey sweet but the end is destruction. To be a single man gives us that feeling of freedom to look for a firmer boobs but believe me its not worth it.

Ever since i met my wife 12 years ago, i have never seen the undies of another lady because i fear GOD and love her and even for these over 3 months we have been separated, im still without any lady despite having crazy hard on every now and then BECAUSE ADULTERY REMAINS ADULTERY WHICH EVER EXCUSE YOU GIVE TO COMMIT IT AND REMAINS A SIN..

It takes the fear of GOD and a forgiving heart to make any relationship work so think again and reverse your steps on divorce. I am not just writing trash but i am also experiencing a potential divorce case so there is no better person to advice you than myself. And it is this situation im going through that made me write that piece on marriage.

Nicely said.
However, the "bulge" thing might not last forever for you.
Anyway, i still repeat that my wife doesn't act like one I should go back to. I also want to live long and not die of high blood pressure.
Thanks anyway for your advice.

Toks2008:

Cool down bro.

I am also a married man but my wife and i have been separated for about 4 months now and the reason is incompatibility according to her not me.

We met 12 years ago and married about 6yrs back. Nevertheless i don't wish for a divorce an even till till seconds ago we still chatted and im still asking her to come back.

Marriage is a union between two forgivers. See Bro, aproko dey sweet but the end is destruction. To be a single man gives us that feeling of freedom to look for a firmer boobs but believe me its not worth it.

Ever since i met my wife 12 years ago, i have never seen the undies of another lady because i fear GOD and love her and even for these over 3 months we have been separated, im still without any lady despite having crazy hard on every now and then BECAUSE ADULTERY REMAINS ADULTERY WHICH EVER EXCUSE YOU GIVE TO COMMIT IT AND REMAINS A SIN..

It takes the fear of GOD and a forgiving heart to make any relationship work so think again and reverse your steps on divorce. I am not just writing trash but i am also experiencing a potential divorce case so there is no better person to advice you than myself. And it is this situation im going through that made me write that piece on marriage.

Nicely said.
However, the "bulge" thing might not last forever for you.
Anyway, i still repeat that my wife doesn't act like one I should go back to. I also want to live long and not die of high blood pressure.
Thanks anyway for your advice.

Toks2008:

Cool down bro.

I am also a married man but my wife and i have been separated for about 4 months now and the reason is incompatibility according to her not me.

We met 12 years ago and married about 6yrs back. Nevertheless i don't wish for a divorce an even till till seconds ago we still chatted and im still asking her to come back.

Marriage is a union between two forgivers. See Bro, aproko dey sweet but the end is destruction. To be a single man gives us that feeling of freedom to look for a firmer boobs but believe me its not worth it.

Ever since i met my wife 12 years ago, i have never seen the undies of another lady because i fear GOD and love her and even for these over 3 months we have been separated, im still without any lady despite having crazy hard on every now and then BECAUSE ADULTERY REMAINS ADULTERY WHICH EVER EXCUSE YOU GIVE TO COMMIT IT AND REMAINS A SIN..

It takes the fear of GOD and a forgiving heart to make any relationship work so think again and reverse your steps on divorce. I am not just writing trash but i am also experiencing a potential divorce case so there is no better person to advice you than myself. And it is this situation im going through that made me write that piece on marriage.

Nicely said.
However, the "bulge" thing might not last forever for you.
Anyway, i still repeat that my wife doesn't act like one I should go back to. I also want to live long and not die of high blood pressure.
Thanks anyway for your advice.

zizman: Marriage is the dream of every woman, and every man. Finding a good partner, for life, is like finding your divine blessing, that can last you for a lifetime.

In this part of the world, we are more idealists than realists. If we face setbacks in our businesses, we are always comfortable with reciting the famous words: “it is well”. If rain soaks you on the way to the office, it’s “showers of blessings” and a promotion is probably on the way. If our right palm itches, it means some long lost relative will send cash soon.

It is no wonder that for many ladies, marriage seems to be the escape route from society’s pressures. Many of us fantasize, dream or even start planning a wedding before meeting “the right one”. Worse still, the romantic movies of heroes falling in love with less than perfect women and sweeping them off their feet in a proposal at the airport, add fuel to our flame of fantasy.

The truth is: idealism is great, but the idealist never knows what to do when the real situation hits hard like a deadly punch from a wrestler’s fist.

The Most Glamorous Part Of A Marriage Is The Wedding
A gorgeous cake, fresh flowers, wedding gown by Vera Wang, the exotic honeymoon, the paparazzi – all these come into play at the wedding. From the moment the bride wakes up on her wedding day to the moment she spends her first official night as a married woman, she feels on top of the world. Too bad, the party can’t last forever.

When you see an elderly couple retaking their marriage vows, with tears in their eyes, please note that those tears are not just tears of happiness; there are tears of a story well told – of joy, pain, courage, sadness and victory against all odds. If you’re not ready to deal with these, it’s not a sin to wait a little. Marriage is hard work and sacrifice.

The Word ‘Sacrifice’ Will Suddenly Come Up More Often In Your Dictionary
This word, we all dread – sacrifice. From the first day, you would find out that you may have to place the needs of others before yours, and if you are blessed with children, get ready for more sacrifices.

Will there be times you wish you were single? Yes! Will there be times you wish for one minute to yourself? Definitely! If given the opportunity, would you do it all over again? For most people, YES – especially if you are with the right person.

Marriage Is Not For Pretenses Or Show-Off
Whether you cook with diamonds in your Egusi soup, or look like a goddess, or even know a thousand styles in bed, a man always knows to whom his heart belongs. The meaning is simple: Be yourself before marriage, and don’t try to portray what you are not.

Let him fall in love with the essence of you, not with an image you have created. It’s difficult to fall out of such love, except either of you change sometime during the marriage.

You Never Really Know A Man/Woman Until You Get Married
Forget that you two lived in the same house for a few years before marriage, as far as there is no contract binding the two of you together in matrimony, you have not started.

People tend to let down their hair when they are married, and like an onion, the real us we have kept to ourselves start to unravel. The only thing to do is adjust and move on – you’re in it for real this time.

Marriage Is Team Work
Like a job, if you like team work, this role is for you. Just kidding. What I am saying here is that if you don’t work together as a team, you are heading for a major disaster. The unfortunate thing is that you can’t control the other person’s mind, and vice versa.

So, one just has to respect the other person’s boundaries, and it’s difficult if both of you are always bent on having your way.

Like A Rollercoaster, There Are Ups And Downs
Don’t think that in marriage, every day will be a holiday. You are kidding yourself. In fact, the most ecstatic moments in marriage come after a low period. Like every good story, you will be faced with challenges and tests.

Even if you fail one, life will give you an opportunity to repeat the test. But when you pass one, the rewards are priceless.

Marriage Is The Ultimate Gamble
Sometimes, marriage leads to happily ever after. Sometimes, it doesn’t. All is fair in love and war. If it doesn’t, dust your feet, learn from past mistakes, and start painting a rosy future without giving in to society’s pressures.

Many times, society looks down on divorced women. We are quick to point fingers that it is a woman’s fault that things did not work out. The fact is, it could be anybody’s fault. Either man or woman.

In the end, marriage is about two selfless people living together to achieve each other’s goals. If you find the right person to make that sacrifice with you, you are extremely lucky.

A tear in мч eyes with no fear in мч heart
Come rain Come shine
We will whither the wild

Come now i pray thee
Let us in time trail no more
Мч melting mozzarella

Crap

50calibre: This is one of the worst threads I've seen, it's jam packed, no paragraphs or spacing.

Next time arrange your post in bullet points or paragraph, it makes it easier to read. I feel like giving you 24 lashes of the cane.

have we talked about a cane before? Mshew... Mr. English guru

Toks2008:
It depends on the duration of courtship. I recommend minimum of 3years. It will be very hard to pretend for this long especially when you both spend ample time together and not funny unrealistic far distant affair.

p

Datz nt all true.u spend a life time knowing someone.humans are unpredictable!u can jst learn 2keep living and loving

salt 1:

Not really! Forgiveness is given to an undeserving person. It is ultimately a gift to YOURSELF because in forgiving, you let go of all bitterness which is like acid in your system causing you physical and emotional harm. Try forgiving and you will see how all the bottled up feelings will thaw and disappear, freeing you to live and love again.

Pls let's try not to confuse someone here even though we meant him/her good. You can't just forgive an unrepentant person, let him/her show remorse for his/her deeds then you consider if you will forgive and for you to completely forgive you have to forget which is very hard that also means you haven't forgiven your offender if you don't forget. Mr. Man, many posters asking you to forgive will also turn against you if they read something like this in the papers or on net "man kills wife", they will be the first to say.. "men are beast", "why are men so wicked" etc... Guy if you know divorce will bring you peace and rest of mind, do it but think twuce before you do it.. Think of the kids, think of how it will be in the long term, you might see a lady that you like and want to marry again but she won't like the kids (she might want her son to be the first) so she might try to fatally harm the kids... But in anything/action you want to take, remember don't do/go about it in a violent way..

marrying the wrong person means wanting to endure plenty nonsense.

nbright: Pls let's try not to confuse someone here even though we meant him/her good. You can't just forgive an unrepentant person, let him/her show remorse for his/her deeds then you consider if you will forgive and for you to completely forgive you have to forget which is very hard that also means you haven't forgiven your offender if you don't forget. Mr. Man, many posters asking you to forgive will also turn against you if they read something like this in the papers or on net "man kills wife", they will be the first to say.. "men are beast", "why are men so wicked" etc... Guy if you know divorce will bring you peace and rest of mind, do it but think twuce before you do it.. Think of the kids, think of how it will be in the long term, you might see a lady that you like and want to marry again but she won't like the kids (she might want her son to be the first) so she might try to fatally harm the kids... But in anything/action you want to take, remember don't do/go about it in a violent way..

Thanks bro. At least you understand my point.
I don't want violence either.
Funny enough, i still try to figure out why i married her when i did but recent events don't let me see reasons.
I'm even scared that if i try to follow most folks advice here and get back to her, she might still go ahead to fool me again. Its happened a lot of times.
That's my pain.

50calibre: This is one of the worst threads I've seen, it's jam packed, no paragraphs or spacing.

Next time arrange your post in bullet points or paragraph, it makes it easier to read. I feel like giving you 24 lashes of the cane.

Is clear that u have never been to school. Idiot! Posting rubbish comment on a beautiful and educating post like dis. I can sees this topic Ȋ̝̊̅§ too mature for a myopic non-entity like u.Does ur illiterate fathers knows wat is paragraph? Guy no let ♍Ƹ̴ vex 4u o. Stop am o, block head.

The best post so far on nairaland.. You are blessed already.

Not a great fan of going all over the threads on NL...but this one was quite exquisite...Well done op!!

Zizman, pls it will be nice if u can give credit to the person who wrote this article or the website from which it was taken from. Ofcourse, it's nice to share but it's wrong to take one's work as yours. Keep sharing.

In the midst of all these life threatening realities, does one need as big as PROPHET SAMUEL OR ELIJAH to let him/er know that God is the answer. People, 1st things first, if you get God , it will be easier for you to get the right man or woman

i pray those that are in a marriage wil inspires us wit a better livin nd gud temperament response to any marriage chalenge..my neigbours here nt to copy in terms of lovin n carin home.

great piece, nice one

@Durchmann

As is the norm with the average nyja they thrive on hypocrisy. Most of the people screaming "forgive forgive" are holding grudges against at least 5 people and at least one of those 5 grudges is more than 5 years old.

None have given you a practical technology on how to forgive. Na by mouth!

Having said this; Divorce is a dark path. Its no joke.

Aside from her saying the boy is not yours you havent said anything that most men are not experiencing in their homes so till you shed more light on your case I will say that is more of the norm than an aberration.The modern day life is one that places a primary importance on financial stability and most nigerian women are brought up to be dependent on a man.

Few black wives mistreat a rich and successful husband.

Please take the boy for DNA test as a first step as no woman in her right mind would joke about such a weighty matter. Im not a mindreader but for her to say that and coupled with her constant harrassment it appears she has built up a great deal of resentment against you. Perhaps she wanted to marry the father of the child(if it turns out the boy is not yours) but was unable. She definitely sounds like a woman whose heart is fixed outside.

After the DNA test(hopefully the boy is yours) you should sit her down for a last ditch effort. If after that discussion she decides to maintain her trajectory then you call in a matured mind from her family. If no dice then you initiate moves for trial separation. Four months is long enough for her to decide if she wants to continue in her ways or amend.

Pls note i am making a lot of assumptions here- from the calm way you sound I'm believing that you are the victim. It would be a shame if we later find out that you are the monster.

Its only if after the four months trial separation that she remains intransigent that one should talk of divorce- not before.

Pls note that spiritual counselling throughout all this is a very important requirement. Prayers coupled with meditating on the Scriptures will yield great dividends.

VULCAN: @Durchmann

As is the norm with the average nyja they thrive on hypocrisy. Most of the people screaming "forgive forgive" are holding grudges against at least 5 people and at least one of those 5 grudges is more than 5 years old.

None have given you a practical technology on how to forgive. Na by mouth!

Having said this; Divorce is a dark path. Its no joke.

Aside from her saying the boy is not yours you havent said anything that most men are not experiencing in their homes so till you shed more light on your case I will say that is more of the norm than an aberration.The modern day life is one that places a primary importance on financial stability and most nigerian women are brought up to be dependent on a man.

Few black wives mistreat a rich and successful husband.

Please take the boy for DNA test as a first step as no woman in her right mind would joke about such a weighty matter. Im not a mindreader but for her to say that and coupled with her constant harrassment it appears she has built up a great deal of resentment against you. Perhaps she wanted to marry the father of the child(if it turns out the boy is not yours) but was unable. She definitely sounds like a woman whose heart is fixed outside.

After the DNA test(hopefully the boy is yours) you should sit her down for a last ditch effort. If after that discussion she decides to maintain her trajectory then you call in a matured mind from her family. If no dice then you initiate moves for trial separation. Four months is long enough for her to decide if she wants to continue in her ways or amend.

Pls note i am making a lot of assumptions here- from the calm way you sound I'm believing that you are the victim. It would be a shame if we later find out that you are the monster.

Its only if after the four months trial separation that she remains intransigent that one should talk of divorce- not before.

Pls note that spiritual counselling throughout all this is a very important requirement. Prayers coupled with meditating on the Scriptures will yield great dividends.

Thanks bro...
Your advice is very direct and practical.
I'll give it a serious consideration.
Thanks again.

Couldn't but save this article, makes sense. God help me with my marriage, promise i'll give it all i'v got.

[color=#770077][/color]Have a lot 2 say abt dis topic but i guess i should just make dis comment in summary.
1. Marriage is to be enjoyed not endured!
2. Marriage challenges are usually specific in nature. Meaning that though there are 1derful counsels profered for tackling issues raised, it still boils down 2 d fact dat, d paries involved have 2 b matured enough 2 find a meetin point.
3. Friendship is the basic tonic dat vitalises a marriage. It den follows dat if a marriage is based on d "exterior" rather dan d "interior", there is bound 2 b a crack which most often lead 2 a seperation endind up in divorce!
"Exterior" meanin what u c (beauty) & "interior" meanin wat come out (character).
4. Marriage is 4 matured minds! Maturity is not measured by age though. Maturity comes from wat u have been exposed to in ones life journeys. That is y u can hav a 25yr old being more matured dan a 40yr old.
Guess we should chew on d above points. Maybe, just maybe we will hav a better marriage. Thats d way i c it.

esn1:

Please call her up, there's something called reconciliation and forgiveness.

. As long as no serial adultery was involved, then reconciliation is good as gold!

bad mouth... write yours n let's see... learn to appreciate people .

50calibre:
This is one of the worst threads I've seen, it's jam packed, no paragraphs or spacing.

Next time arrange your post in bullet points or paragraph, it makes it easier to read. I feel like giving you 24 lashes of the cane.