₦airaland Forum

Babafaros:
U come 2 book space abi,,

lol naso bro
aw fa na I no even c ur rear light again

Types Of People You'll Meet In A Large Lecture hall in
universities
1. The Space Bookers: These ones come early to
class, only to come and book space with Bags,
books, some biro slf, just for their friends or most
times boys for girls that have Friend Zoned them.
2. The Serious Ones: These set of people get to
the Class very early and always sit down at the
front seats, so they can listen to lectures.
3. The Semi-Serious Ones: These set of students,
might come late to class 10-20 mins after the
start of the Class, but they go and stand in front
of the podium to listen to Lectures.
4. The Podium Crew: These set of students
always sit on the podium.
5. The Floor Sitters: they tend to sit on the Floor, if there are not
Seats for them to Sit and they want to See the
Board.
6. The Runners: These set is most particular to
100 Level Students, they run from one hall to
another like Usain Bolt,
7. The Hangers Crew: These set of students do
not even enter the Hall at all, they stay outside the
Hall, gisting with their friends or Chiking one girl
outside.
8. The STANDard Crew: These ones don't rush
theirselves to class at all, because they know the
hall will be filled, they just stand at the Back and
receive lectures.
9. For Charging Only: These ones come to class
early, but they sit at the back so they book
charging space for their Laptops, phones,
Rechargeable Lamps, some fridge sef...Lol. While
some other Set bring Extensions, so they can get
charging space.
10. The Note Borrowers/Copiers: These set don't
ever write note in class or want to listen to the
Lecturers, they just wait for you to finish writing
so they'll collect your note.
11. The Trouble Makers: These particular set of
people love to sit down at the back, they wait for
any little opportunity to shout "Noooo" or clap for
the Lecturer to leave the Hall.
So Which one of them Do you Fall Under when
you were attending a Large Class or is their
anyone we didn't add? We must have at least
gone through this in 100 Level.

Oh my Ghosh!!.......Lolz.......
1. Kissing your man is not a
problem, The problem
is
how you
do it. Stop making sounds like a
car crash "pitom pitom
pitommi"! Abeg U dey disturb
me.
2. Screaming during sex is
romantic and its not a
problem, The problem is
screaming and shouting
like werey "JESUS,
Oh my
God, Holy mary".. You are
having sex, Not a
Church service!
And besides I don't knw if you
are reminding God
to
punish you latter.
3. Wearing short skimpy skirts or
dresses is not a
problem in
fact its very sexy I just pray
there won't be forced
entry into
your Sin Hole, The problem is
wearing your mini
looking all
nice and walking around and
when you see guys
you
try to pull it down, Now you want
it to be
long?.... Abi.. Keep
deceiving
urself na. # sMh
4. Loving your
man is not a
problem as it is KOKANYE for me
but the problem is changing
your Surname to his
on
Facebook.
Bitch his mother doesn't even
know you ...Chill!!
And I
would hate to read ur post
later saying MEN ARE
WICKED OR
CHEATS.
5. Calling all men dogs is not
the problem, The
problem
is
tagging yourself saint when
you know he didn't Bleep
himself but you.. So since you
did it with him,
kindly say I HAVE
BEEN
SLEEPING WITH A DOG OR DOGS
as the case may
be and
please let us know the breed
of dogs you came to
the
world from coz ur dad is male too
and your mum have
always been
his bed partner..
6. Some girls are looking for
tall guys with pink lips and
six
packs when their father is
short, pot bellied with
pomo
lips you better be contented like
your Mother # lol.
7. If runs girls dont fail
sunday's church services I
wonder who
will?
8. Saying all guys are the same is
not my problem
bt is
2face and me the same? Is ur
dad and ur teacher
the same
9. Bleaching your skin is not a
problem, The
problem is
having
whiteface, yellow hands
chocolate lips and black
legs. Are you
zebra?

.

ichidodo:
[color=#1980BC] Rubbish Football club..Yannick Bolasie will destroy chelsae... [/color]

bros una no get data ni abi u no dey read news? u no knw say bolasie get injury
I no blame ur yansh sha wen be say na Chelsea news u go dey find up and down to beef on NL…UP bluez tho

kokan aye

ok

>>>10 Facts About Smiles<<<
____(that you may not know)____
1. Smiling is contagious.
2. Smiling is like medicine:- Genuine smiles
decrease cortisol in your body when you make
enough smile.
3. Smiling is our first facial expression.
4. Forcing yourself to smile when you're sad will
actually elevate your mood.
5. Smiling makes you look prettier.
6. Smiling can reduce blood sugar:- Not only that
those endorphins produced while smiling will
elevate your mood, but they will also lower your
blood pressure - so essentially, smiles save
lives.
7. Smiling is a form of exercise! :- It takes 5-52
muscles to smile - so work out your face!
8. Employers tend to promote people who smile
often:- Smiling shows your boss that you are
engaged and easy to work with, i.e. it's your way
up the corperate ladder.
9. Smiling is a universal sign for happiness.
10. Smiles relieve stress.
Yurmson

iccydope:
G

now u will say FTC by booking space,,
abeg shift 4me make we manage dat place 2geda

y wetin concern m,abeg make I go back to bed

modified
now good morning fellow Nigerian, so na even tiwa matter make I go back go sleep jare
anyway,space 4 sale

ok…space 4 sale

tanx 4 d advertisement, even if na 1kb I no go download Cynthia
tho I av a roommate who can die simply because of dis girl/womanhood

Simran94:
. yeah

nice meeting a co-funaabite
I tink I can click d 'follow' button

wow tanx arva,, can't believe dis is coming 4rm a lady
tanx 4 appreciating me

Simran94:
Funaab all the way!!!!!

funaabite?

missberrypop5:
yup. DRC for the moment.

lol

lol till further notice

missberrypop5:
I don't watch "high BP" match. I may die from there. But, Sudan? If naija no win eh, i'll change my nationality to Congo

now change nationality
Congo babe

f

g

benega:
Hehehe

lol

benega:
Hehehe

lol

benega:
Hehehe

lol

# funiest_writeup_on_earth .
By Ola Falola
Warning: This article is somewhat awkward and
crazy.
And it’s meant for only those who don’t shy away
from the truth. I mean, those who don’t “form.”
I don't like hypocrites!
Why do we all kind of fret when others talk about
shit?
I mean, it beats my imagination flat how people
pretend to be robots. We all need to stop this
pretence and feel freer to discuss issues about
shit....
Do you know what makes shit interesting? Just as
we were all born by a woman, we all shit... You
shit... I shit...President Jonathan shits...Obama
shits... And even your parents shit...
These point to the fact that shitting is part of life
— an integral part.
Shitting is something we all do every day, but at
varying frequencies. While some drop heavy,
killer lumps of shit once daily, others shit
multiple times, releasing dense microchips
during each session.
The mechanism of delivery of shit also varies
among
individuals. Some people drop theirs with
absolute
ease, while some practically go through “labour”
before delivering their lumps.
The time of delivery of shit varies, too. Some are
experts at “quickie” shitting (10 seconds to 2
minutes).
Some, on the other hand, will spend ages (up to
30
minutes or more) and will involve all the muscles
of
their abdomen, pelvis, face, and even upper limb
just
to drop a lump of shit.
Types of shit
There are over hundred types of shit, classified
using
various methods, but I won’t go into details of
these classifications. Rather, I will randomly pick
and discuss the most interesting types.
There we go…
*.Hallucination or ghost shit: You feel something
leaving your butts, but you can’t see anything in
the
toilet.
*.Holy shit: The type of shit you enjoy its release
so
much that you never want to leave the toilet
again.
*.Neat shit: This type of shit leaves no traces; you
see it
in the toilet bowl, but you get no stains on the
tissue
paper.
*.Wet or dripping shit: Even after 20 attempts to
wipe
this type of shit with a tissue paper, you keep
getting stains. Before you know it, you may
exhaust a
complete roll of tissue. At the end of the day, you
will resign to fate, placing tissue paper between
your
butts and underwear (to protect your underwear
from
stains).
*.Second wave shit: This type of shit comes after
you think you’re done shitting. You’ve dressed up
and are about leaving the toilet when you feel the
urge to shit again.
*.Break-a-vein shit: Delivering this type of shit
requires you to strain very hard. If you’re not
careful, you may
end up with stroke.
*.Gassy shit: This type of shit is preceded by lots
of
noisy farts, which create awareness. Everyone
around would be like, “gosh!”
*.Giant log shit: This type of shit is so massive
that
you won’t believe it came from you. No amount
of water can flush such. Before you can flush it
successfully, you must first break it into pieces
using a stick.
*.Bulldozer shit: When this type of shit lands in
the
toilet bowl, the water in there splashes upwards.
The splashes can reach as high as the ceiling
(depending on the weight of the shit).
*.Maradona shit: This type of shit comes
shockingly,
when all you were expecting was a fart. In short, it
dribbles you.
*.Black shit: The name says it all. You grab?
*.Obstinate shit: This type of shit just won’t come
out, no matter how hard you try. Yet, you keep
feeling
the urge. You will need to try again after some
hours.
*.Peppery shit: After dropping this type of shit,
your butts feel very hot and peppery. You’ll feel
like
placing iced block between them to get some
relief.
*.Pump action shit: This comes in quick
successive
lumps that land in the toilet bowl to produce a
pleasant rhythm (something like “gbo-gba-gbo-gb
o-gba-gba-gbi.”)
*.Liquid or tap shit: This light yellow type of shit
splashes all over the toilet bowl and soils your
butts
from inside outwards. When you start, it’s like
opening
a tap; the flow is amazingly continuous.
*.Mexican shit: This kind of shit smells so badly
that
your nose blocks. Even your neighbours can’t
bear it.
You have to take furtive glances before leaving the
toilet—you don’t want anyone to know that the
rancid stench came from inside of you.
*.Lace shit: A close look at this type of shit gives
a clue
about your last meal. You can see some vegetable
leaves or grains of corn.
*.Slider shit: This type of shit slides straight
down the
toilet pipe after leaving your butts. It leaves you
confused as to whether you really did shit or not.
*.Rock shit: This type of shit is so hard that you
feel like
your butt is tearing. Flushing won’t get it away
unless you wait till after water softens it. To get
rid of it immediately, you will need to fill a big
bucket with
water, raise it over your head (or higher, if
possible
you can stand on a stool), and pour into the toilet
bowl from that height.
*.Suspended or hanging shit: This type of shit
fails to
drop into the toilet bowl even after leaving your
butts; it hangs. To get it out, you will need to rise
up a bit
and wriggle your body like a belly dancer so that
the
movement cuts it out, or contract your pelvic
muscles so that the sphincter cuts it off. Having
understood the importance and types of shit, you
can now teach others, too. You see, shit happens
every day, and there’s no need hiding this fact.
You need to stop shying away from shit. And you
need to remember that this article is just a
product of the author’ crazy imagination and
brainstorming.....
But all the same, shit rocks! So, spread the word,
and stop all the “forming.”
I REST MY CASE.

makzeze:
@OP, are u sure u are a good Muslim?

meself dey tink am

op, smh 4u oooo

is dis a news or joke?
irep9ja

OK ooo,
continue lying to us

MrsBreezy: It's fine no bother..

I'm good thank you. And yourself?

OK
am good also

MrsBreezy: Hey good evening.

hmm! am sorry,my phone is having a lil problem …i'll be back sooner
how are you sha

MrsBreezy: Did you father allow friends to visit you?*

hi,good evening

j