₦airaland Forum

Spitting nonsense..

eghost247:
1. The Barbie.
The only thing Barbie has, is her pretty face. Finish. She’s the type of woman that doesn’t know much about anything. Hell, she doesn’t care much about anything! As long as her pretty face is intact, the world can burn for all she cares.

2. The Drama Queen.
Avoid this person like a plague, even as a friend. She has no qualms about creating a scene over a perceived sin. She would bawl her eyes out loudly in public if she feels you don’t love her; or love her enough. She cries, she’s passionate and yes, she looooves the attention.

3. The Possessive/Obsessive Clinger.
Similar to Miss DQ above, but she doesn’t have the need to cause drama; she has a need for YOU. At all times. She calls thrice an hour. Her first question always is ‘Where are you?’ If you don’t pick up because you’re getting chewed up by your boss, expect the multi-page accusatory text messages to start flooding in. She gets upset when you have the barest interaction with another woman. She wants to be the only presence in your life. Before she goes the way of Cameron Diaz’s character in ‘Vanilla Sky’, quickly give her the boot.

4. The Wife.
She is not interested in dating. She doesn’t want a boyfriend: she wants a husband. She wants to marry. Now! One date and she’s ready to meet your parents. Two weeks on and she has chosen the names of the children you will have together. Nobody said women were logical creatures but then, life – as well as love – is in stages. I’m not sure I like you yet and you’re already choosing aso ebi… slow down madam.

5. The Party Animal.
There’s nothing wrong with letting your hair down and having fun occasionally. When it now becomes a way of life, nne, we have a problem. Sometimes one needs to chill and enjoy the other person’s company. Not this lady. She knows all the happening places in Lagos. And Abuja. And London. Her friends are going. And she must be there too. The party animal will be bored with you in no time.

6. The Cheat.
Seriously, do I need to explain this? There is no way in the world to have a meaningful relationship with someone who’s cheating on her boyfriend with you. Even if she gets out of that relationship and starts a new one with you, you know that she has no qualms about infidelity. She’s going to cheat on you too. Period.

7. Nairabody.
“I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger, but she aint messing with no broke n…” This is the type of woman who craves the finer things in life and expects a man to provide them. She’s with you only for the money. She might actually ‘like’ you, but if you can’t buy her things and generally assume responsibility as her personal cash dispenser, forget it; you can’t get five minutes of her time. She’s a pro at using sex as a tool: you get it when you pay. The moment she finds a more affluent man (that is if she doesn’t have a bunch of you suckers around her pinky already), she’s going to kick your broke behind to the curb. Expecting a steady stable relationship from Nairabody is futile. There are better ways to waste time and money.

8. Your neighbour’s teenage daughter.
Forget how she looks in a tank top. There’s a law against that type of thing.

Na to date Leprechaun remain na..

Pukkalolo:
I was a having severe this headache, so I decided to go visit the pharmacy closer to my crib... This was my first time there.
The moment I got to the large pharmacy, I was welcomed with polite smiles from 2 beautiful nurses; one was dark while the other one was light skinned.There was also a sales boy there helping out.

I requested for Paracetamol, Vitamin C and other stuff.

Then immediately, I was struck with a crazy idea. In my mind I was like, "Let me woo one of these nurses and see what's gonna happen..."

But I was confused on which of one to go for because they were both looking cute.

Lesson #1. Don't go for the woman you like, instead go for the woman that likes you.

Only the real players understand statement.

Anyways, I needed to quickly find out which of the nurses might probably like me more... I launch an 'awkward' test.

I said in almost loud voice, "Do you people sell condom."

The moment that statement left my mouth, there was a sudden earthquake. The pharmacy store was in chaos.

The sales boy and the two ladies looked up at me immediately: it was as if 3 guns were pointed at me and ready to pull the trigger.

The sales boy stared at me as if I had 3 nose. His facial expressions was, "what the Bleep just came out from this guy mouth?"

But my focus was on the nurses; I scanned their faces quickly to see their reactions.

The dark nurse gave me a disgusting look; she looked at me the way she'd look at a fly that just petch on her food.

The light skinned nurse smiled innocently; she looked me the exact way she'd look at a yummy ice cream.

Obviously, the dark lady seemed disappointed in the fact that I wanted to buy condom. What a predender!. The hypocrites and pretenders like her are the ones that do worse behind closed doors.

The light skinned one seemed impressed by audacity.

Dating lesson #2: Not every woman will like you. Some women will admire you for saying or doing something, while another set of women will despise you for doing that same thing.

That's life. Accept it. Just focus on the women who like and appreciate you; the rest of the other women can as well get lost.

Anyways, I decided to shoot my shot with the light skinned lady.

As the sales boy immediately go around the large store to fetch my drugs, and my condoms of course...I quickly turned to the light skinned nurse and said in a rather low tone,

"I still can't remember dating a light skinned nurse, but I'm very sure you'll be my first."

My opening line shock her a bit. After recovering from the shock, she smirked and said, "Date me?? Lolz. . Oh sorry, keep dreaming!"

Lesson #3: Women will try to break you down psychologically and emotionally with their words or facial expressions. Never let their negative reactions affect your confidence.


I replied, "well, it's already a forgone conclusion that you and I are gonna date..."

She said, "Really...so you are looking for a girl to try those condoms on... sorry not me."

Again, that statement was attempt to break me down psychologically and emotionally. I never let a woman's negative reactions affect my confidence. I don't give a shit.

I replied in a sarcastic manner, "what! are you already thinking of doing me... So you just want to do me and dump me."

She smiled and said, "please I don't understand what you are talking about o."

I continued playfully, "why can't I find a girl who truly care about me and not just because of my sugar cane."

She laughed and said, "O my gush, you are a funny guy"

The dark nurse was obviously not impressed with the way I and the light skinned nurse were talking.

The sales guy brought my drugs and the other stuff I requested for.

Then I continued with the light skinned nurse,

"I see you're busy at work, we should talk more later... what's your phone number, "

But she soundly rejected the idea. She said, "sorry I cannot give you my phone number."

Ooch! That was painful.

I was like, "really..."

She said, "Yes...it's against our policy here to give out our personal phone number to customers."

Then I said in a low tone, "and who the hell made that policy."

She said, "well, it's my boss; he's sitting over there," she said while stylishly pointing at an elderly man who had probably been staring at me the whole time from the moment I asked for condoms.

He was looking at me the exact way my father would look at me when he was about flog the shit out of me.



Then I turned to the lady, "if it weren't for the no giving out phone number policy, would you have giving me your digit."

She said, "why not! You are a cool guy."

Fortunately, I move about with pen and little jotter in my pocket in case I had any idea i can jot it down before it disappears from my head.

I brought out the pen from my pocket and tore a piece of paper from the jotter and wrote my number on it and stylishly gave it to her.

Then I said, "I'm very sure you'll get in touch with me."

She smiled and replied, "hmmm... keep dreaming!"

Again, that statement was attempt on her part to break me down psychologically and emotionally.

I simply smiled and walked out of the store.

2 days later, I got a WhatsApp message from an unsaved number saying, "Hi, good morning."

I looked at the profile pic to see who the person was.....let's welcome our light skinned nurse.

You move around with pen and jotter😂😂We know say you be teacher..

[quote author=JovialJune post=136708285][/quote]He would be the Village Headmaster Of Idiots..

Kobojunkie:
He cancelled the marriage because he could not get his own sister into her bridal train? Would he have allowed the girl's brother or cousin, or male friend, in as one of his groom's men? 😏

Anyways, red flag na red flag! They both dodged a bullet there and should count themselves lucky.

Do you eat bridal train?..

McBishop2020:
Sorry to say, but this is no achievement. It simply means that in her class, she's the outstanding one.

How many national and international competition has she attended and won.

One girl from the North won overall best in the English Language skills, a competition held in London, the home of the English.

That's what we should celebrate, and not someone coming first in her class. Who does that?

Just because your sister end up for 99 no mean say others go follow her footstep.

Baronthecelebri:
Not now, what will be her end that's all that matters.

Do you think everyone will end up like your siblings ?

Why ladies Dey cry up and down for ghe ghe matter eh?..Saidaboj did worse but una cheer her up and down..

MrHandsome2013:
For get those guys doing it can never change until they are caught.
I heard a story of a guy that one oyibo paid up to $600k and this guy is still struggling .
The guy go buy house of $250k.
Buy car of $100k and only God knows what he used the rest of money to do.
The guy is now struggling still doing yahoo.
A year and plus . The guy never see $1 collect again .
Oboy no amount of money this guy pick will ever make him to stop until he is caught and send to like jail

You done chop today?

Omoawoke:
See ehn, not every girl has infections

See bro, there are some girls you will see, smooth soft skin, pretty face, sexy banging bodies, smell so good and fresh, fresh like today’s bread… when they come out of that shower with the towel, next thing is for you to eat them like hot puff puff…
You go see fresh laps, fresh waist, soft like rubber … to chop them go hungry you like say your life depends on you… see bro, you go chop everything from her neck to her navel to her thighs to the honey pot

They think all girls are dirty like them sis for house..

uchkochi:
Putting your tongue into a ladies vagina does not make you a man. It makes you a fool. Yes, a big fool. How can you willingly suck in bacteria, viruses and fungi with your eyes open only because she is moaning. You are a fool. Stop the act. The mouth was not made by God for vagina. Avoid diseases by being wise. If she wants it then she does not love you. She hates you and wants you sick.

You copy what you see in blue films not knowing that those people are well tested and free from infections. They also sanities their body. Be wise.

My gf is coming over and I’ll still suck her for 30mins before we start..

Hope you ready to fight war..

Fenrir:
Bro? Different race, dude is more applicable thanks, im not a brother from an African mother

Im more like a surfer that found the bodacious babe of his dreams

Just cause I said bro don’t mean you my brother..

Since the day wey I see one celebrity for early morning,na then I know say difference Dey between ugly and wowo.

But SaidaBoj do pass this one na lol..I don’t entertain such things but let the cruise begin😂😂I just wan sit this one out..

Clairvoyancy:
I'm not sure you are typing based on what we saw in that SS....

A lady who will be a grad in one year time telling someone wooing her those things has shown a trait of submission... Meaning she wants to depends on the guys, well I'm saying, her submission is all I needed.... If she doesn't believe in herself that she can do more than what she stated, I'm willing to risk it all by pushing her to do more... Provided what attracted me is still intact.. I might loose, but I'm certain I won't miss... That's why I called it a risk....

You Dey waste your precious time on Kobojunkie..

And in her mind she sounds reasonable😒

When you go to a technician and he joins wires without using a tape to seal it,japa for your life..Na wetin Dey burn motor pass..

Una wey no sabi wetin happen done Dey talk anyhow for here..If you want 💯 gist,come I go tell you..

That’s why you look out for The year of Entry on the car papers so you know what you buying..A car that came into Nigeria 8yrs ago should be priced low..So always look out for the year of entry so you know what you getting..

That’s no business..

Nigerian used right?..Can it be brought to Lagos for check up and payment?

bigtt76:
Okoooooooooooooooooo
Good to hear this now more businesses would come. Up

You no go school..Wetin concern CAC with upcoming businesses?..Na name of company be the problem?..

soqmeov:


20. Complaints to or against moderators must be sent privately. Please don't disobey, disrespect, or defame them.

Are you reading me my rights ?

Sermwell:
Men dey wet? Abi which kind colos comment be this?

Since you get that accident,things change for your reasoning oo..

CHEATING WIFE DONE DROP QUOTE..

DoctorStanley:
See this WICKED CRUELTY

In saner clime you'd receive and deserve long prison sentence.
It made my blood boil to read this nonsense.
How can people be this HEARTLESS??
I just don't get it

No vex bros..She no know say na the goat uncle you be🚶🏿‍➡️