Darevofpeace: This evening, I overheard a conversation between two ladies as I happened to be seated near them. Their discussion centered on the topic of choosing between a man with financial means and one without. Both women held strong opinions on why they could never envision building a life with a financially struggling man, they asserted.
I want to make it clear that I'm not passing judgment on them. Whatever aspirations they harbor for themselves are entirely valid. If they aspire to marry a wealthy and accomplished man, that's their prerogative. However, it prompted me to engage in a dialogue with myself. As someone who often finds solace in introspection, I posed the question, "Is there anything inherently wrong with embarking on life with a man who lacks financial resources?" My response was a firm no. This led me to ponder further, "Can a financially struggling man ultimately achieve success?" Again, my answer was affirmative. Consequently, I asked myself, "What qualities should a woman look for in a man before embarking on a life journey with him when he possesses little to no financial stability?"
To be frank, there are numerous factors to consider, and I'll share them with you. It's essential to acknowledge that there's nothing wrong with starting anew with a man. However, the success of such a venture hinges on the character and qualities of the individual you choose, as not all men are suited for such a journey.
Here are some crucial traits I believe every woman should assess when contemplating building a life with a man:
His Work Ethic: As a woman, you should pay close attention to his approach toward tasks assigned to him. I recall a personal experience where I parted with a man that I loved due to his chronic procrastination and laziness. He would rather spend hours on series than get things done and he doesn’t mind spending the whole day lounging in bed, offering excuses for unfinished tasks. This behavior hinted at a lack of responsibility and a tendency to avoid accountability, with the hope that success would magically materialize one day.
His Dreams and Aspirations: A woman should observe how a man articulates his dreams, how he paint grandiose visions of the future and the bigger picture without minding the reality of now. You should beware of individuals who lack drive or a clear vision. A man with genuine ambition will share his goals and exhibit a strategic approach to realizing them.
His Definition of Success: Recognize that success is subjective. It's essential for women to recognize that not all men aspire to wealth and material possessions; what constitutes success for one may not be deemed as such by another. Some men are content with basic necessities, a roof over their heads and a job to sustain them without any aspirations beyond mere survival. Conversely, others seek more than just getting by, they aim to provide their children with top-tier education, reside in affluent neighborhoods, drive luxury cars, invest for the future, establish businesses, and indulge in global travel for leisure. I once encountered a man who questioned the need to strive for material abundance, stating, "Why struggle for possessions that we'll eventually leave behind? As long as I have food, clothing, and a job, I'm content." His perspective made it clear to me that he and I weren't aligned in our desires. Personally, I aspire more than mere sustenance; I seek a life enriched with opportunities, experiences, and abundance for myself and my future family.
His Social Circle: It's a known fact that the company we keep greatly influences our lives. The size of one's wallet may not be relevant in this context, but the quality of one's associations holds paramount importance. This isn't something to directly inquire about; rather, it's something to observe as a woman. Take a closer look at his closest companions. Are they individuals engaged in legitimate endeavors, building their lives with integrity? Or do they engage in questionable activities, such as fraud or excessive drinking and womanizing? Are they individuals of substance? By examining the company he keeps, you can gain valuable insights into the character and future trajectory of the man in question.
His Attitude Toward Money: How does he perceive wealth, and what is his approach to earning it? Does he value the dignity of labor, or does he constantly seek shortcuts or embrace a Ponzi-like mentality? Is he patient, willing to sow seeds and patiently nurture them to fruition, or does he prefer instant gratification? His approach to financial matters speaks volumes about his character.
If a man harbors unrealistic expectations of sudden wealth or displays a lack of commitment to legitimate means of earning, it's unwise to embark on a life journey with him. Such a partnership is likely to lead to frustration and disappointment in the long run.
Family Dynamics: While it may seem unconventional, I pay close attention to family patterns. One striking observation I made in my ex’s family was the stark contrast in work ethic between the genders. The women in the household exhibited remarkable diligence and ambition. Even his youngest sibling, still in university, managed a successful business alongside her studies. In contrast, the four men in the family appeared content with a more laid-back lifestyle.
My suspicions were confirmed when I visited their home and heard his mother proudly claim, "I raised all my children single-handedly." I realized that marrying into such a family would inevitably place the burden of financial responsibility solely on my shoulders, as it seemed ingrained in their family dynamic that women should be the primary providers and hustler, a man raised in such family cannot suddenly change.
Lastly, individuals who evade work under the guise of divine calling “God has called me to full-time ministry" or rely on the notion of "miracle money" should be approached with caution. I'm acquainted with someone in a marriage with such a man, who absolves himself of household responsibilities, claiming that God hasn't directed him to work, leaving the burden on his wife's shoulders. It's prudent to steer clear of religious men who shirk their earthly duties, believing that divine intervention exempts them from work.
In conclusion, my dear sisters, there's no shame or taboo in building a life from scratch with a partner. However, the success of such a venture hinges on the character and values of the individual you choose. So, observe and choose wisely.
Just that the bit on vision is not very clear cut.
What vision can a young man in a 3rd world country have? The vision will be blurry at best since there are so many uncertainties to contend with. Just that a man with drive will more likely be able to surmount obstacles in life, so even without a clear cut vision, having drive and a target of success should count even if the young man can not articulate a clear vision on how to achieve success.
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Do you have good technicians in Nigeria to service and repair MF tractors?
I am looking for someone who can service Dynashift system in my MF tractor.
jascutie: Massey Ferguson Tractor for sale due to relocation Condition : Good, only used for 2yearz Price: 20m negotiable Contact : 07086051846, 08138712802
GAZZUZZ: I just completed this CNG retrofit on a 2009 Ford F150 with a V8 4.6L natural aspirated Engine .
The vehicle is now fitted with 3 CNG tanks with a combined capacity of 165L (48 SCM @210bar)
Vehicle now boasts of 300km Highway travel on 48SCM which is an equivalent of ₦9600 @ ₦200 per SCM. For better description the distance of Lagos to Benin is about 295km.
Now this is nothing new to CNG retrofits as it brings down the cost of fueling most vehicles by 70% in ₦.
What is unique about this vehicle is it's ability to provide Natural Gas for external use for equipment like Generators, and cooking utensils.
This again brings down the cost of powering your petrol powered gen by about 70%.
In place of LPG it is currently 200% cheaper to burn Natural gas as against LPG.
We have an abundance of natural Gas reserves in Nigeria , hopefully we can all tap into this God given free gift to lower our expenses.
Nairaland. It is about the 1st website I visit everyday. Internet, just can't do without it. Technology, too many techy stuff around me, but I need more and continue to do more tech research.
nairalanda1: Well, the reason why they overbill estimated bills holders is because the massive losses from charging non cost reflective tarrifs and power theft means that discos are forced to use unorthodox means or to put it bluntly rip off estimated billing people to make enough money to break even.
All this is as a result of price controls on the power sector.
The reason why i support free markets is simple. Put limits on a man's ability to make a profit, anarchy results.
Nerc is just fining these guys without adressing the tarrif issue and power theft issue.treating the symptoms without treating the disease, because treating the disease means high tarrifs which means apc gets voted out.
Your position is not correct.
The discos do not generate electricity, they buy electricity at an agreed unit price and sell to consumers at a higher unit price than they bought it for.
So their profit is already factored into the difference between the cost they bought and the cost they are to sell a unit of electricity.
What the discos should address is energy losses in the distribution system that they can not charge for and prevention of electricity theft.
Energy losses in the distribution system is a function of the distribution equipment deployed by the discos, so it is up to the discos to deploy more efficient equipment.
Energy theft should be very minimal if they are serious with ensuring effective metering and monitoring of consumption. It is the responsibility of the discos to protect their electricity from being stolen and for getting electricity thieves arrested.
The discos can not simply pass the cost of energy losses due to their inefficient equipment and energy theft due to their inefficient monitoring, to unmetered customers. Note that many unmetered customers are unmetered because the discos failed to supply the required meters. So billing such customers more for no fault of the customer is wrong and criminal.
Lol 500k....na industrial machine Una dey use for house ni....when no be production plant Una dey run
The same question I asked the Eko electricity distribution thieves and they could not answer me. Even when I sent email to their customer service to address the issue, they dodged the issue.
fergie001: NERC Sanctions Eleven (11) DisCos Over Non-Compliance with Capping of Estimated Bills for Unmetered Customers
Eko electricity distribution company should be on the sanctioned list.
Those guys give up to 500,000 naira estimated bill to one apartment in a month in Lekki. They refuse to supply prepaid meter and then send exorbitant estimated bills. Telling them that estimated billing is supposed to be capped is like talking to a deaf.
Justnation: I have noted some embarrassing and laughable one sided narrative to the war between Russia and Ukraine. I get amused when I read that Russia fired 100 drones and Ukraine downed 99 of them, while Ukraine fired 20 drones and all hit targets in Russia. Can these be true?. Everyday we are told that Russia has lost 100, 000 soldiers at once and Ukraine have lost none, yet in reality Ukraine has been totally devastated. These propaganda are going too far, and will ruin Ukraine instead of helping to end the war and save the nation from obliteration.
Ukraine is no match for Russia no matter the western support it gets. Right now they are stacking army chiefs and an officer refuses to replace him.
Please help end the war and save Ukraine. A referendum can be organized for the break away Republics and grant them independence to save face for Ukraine and the west
It is no news when dog bites a man, but it is great news when a man bites a dog. So if Ukraine shoots down only one Russian drone, it must be celebrated by the west.
Russia can devastate much of Ukraine and Ukraine can only defend themselves on their soil. A lot of the weapons being given to Ukraine by the West come with the condition that they will not be used inside Russia.
Using those weapons inside Russia can give Russia reasons to use nuclear weapons, a risk the West don't want to take at this time.
The West is hoping that they can frustrate Russia by Ukrainian resistance just like Afghanistan was able to resist the US for 20 years.
The reality is that the war will end someday, the west just want to drag the war on to keep Russia occupied until something gives.
Putin can lose power and the new leadership of Russia might end the war or the war can drag on untill Putin gets tired and pull back his troops. Or Putin might die and leave Russia without good leadership forcing Russian troops to abandon the war.
The west has still not come up with a clear plan of Ukraine winning the war on the battlefield.
Moreover, the west has been involved in proxy wars for decades and they don't care about the human loss. Money is being made from weapon sales.
If the war between Russia and Ukraine is causing you headache, then just assume that both Russia and Ukraine are in Africa, that way the human loss will not seem much anymore. Alternatively you can assume that Russia is Israel and Ukraine is Palestine. That way you will understand why Russia can bomb Ukraine but Ukraine are not allowed to do any retaliation inside Russia.
Mysteriousworld: My neighbor and his wife are always fighting... What bothers me is their son, the marriage isnt healthy for him. For the first time, i helped them settle their fight yesterday. I listened to them both. The mans complain is that his wife doesnt respect him at all, for example, she says ; "im going to pure the dustbin away" then she doesnt return in another 2 hrs, she wont pick calls or she left her phone at home,(he claims hes sure shes not cheating, because thats where my mind went) when she gets back and he complains, she'll now start her own anger, saying he has no right to tell her that....shes not a child and so on....(the man doesnt police her, just expects her to tell him her whereabout). She finds it hard to say sorry(he says that scares him) She's never wrong.... And always has an excuse for being wrong...a narcissist i guess.
The wife says everything the man complained about is unnecessary, says he complains about unnecessary things... He complains too much.... Thats her problem with him.(she was in tears through out)
This is what caused the fight yesterday... They were playing and happy till they decided to go out together... Then the husband noticed her waist beads, thats where quarrel started, to the point that she bite him, and he slapped her back.... All in the eyes of their son. He said the first day they started dating, she was wearing waist bead, he told her he hates it and she removed it immediately.... Only for her to start wearing it after marriage... He said he had been complaining about it for 6 months now, until yesterday when he insisted she must remove it...
To cut the long story short, he said hes done with the marriage, and to my surprise she said she is too, she left to sleep in a guest house yesterday, says shes coming to park her load this morning... She said she'll leave with her son , he said she cant leave with his son... I guess thats where therell be issue this morning, based on the custody of the child.
The story long but this is a summary... Pls... Matured minds on nairaland.... Im confused and dont know if i should try and help them settle it... Because a part of me is thinking its better for them to go separate ways, since none of them is ready to bow to the other... At the same time... Im thinking i can help them settle it... Its just clear there will be a big issue on who takes the child this morning if they decide to end it.
Seems the lady is immature for marriage.
There are some red flags Where does she go to those periods that she finds difficult to explain to her husband? Who is she wearing waist beads for if the husband detest it?
The man also his fault, why stress yourself over waist bead that you can cut off when she is asleep or during lovemaking,? If I were in his shoes I will be flushing the waist bead down the toilet every night while she is sleeping. How many beads can she replace in a month? But for me, waist bead means nothing unless she is wearing it to please another man.
Talk to the man to save his marriage, the lady is foolish but marriage is for better for worse.
If they must separate, then the woman should go with the child. A man can not be chasing money, new women, managing extended financial expectations and then add child rearing to it
How do you even know that the woman spent last night in a hotel? It is possible she spent it with another man,.the man that is pushing her to break her marriage.
Ilamina: Saw one cool guy with cornrows Gosh, he must be igbo
I just love the hiphop/rap scene in abuja
All the hip-hop fans there always rep with their du rags and cornrows
Portharcourt sucks mehn If you are not living in abuja or lagos, we are not living the nigerian dream, mehn
That is not true.
I am even thinking of avoiding Lagos totally, too much shitty borehole water in Lekki. The joy of fresh water shower in phc or warri is one of the great pecks of the those places.
Me I'm not ready for any monthly stipend oo. This January I'm driving him out of my house never to return again. I've done my best for him. I'm planning on starting a family, it's time to face my own family
Don't worry, you will come around and realize that you can't easily run away from a lazy close family member.
As long as you have some money, he will be there to fleece you.
Jayden001: Hello peeps! My younger brother is the laziest being I've ever seen in my entire life. He's not a kid though, he'll soon be 25 but he's dead lazy. Since he finished secondary school six years ago, he has absolutely nothing doing at the moment.
There's no funds to send him to higher institution especially when he cannot even contribute anything financially to the course.
He collects money from my mom at every chance he gets because me and my elder brother have stopped giving him money.
For the past six years, we have tried to get him learn a skills, businesses and trades but he always run back home or bluntly refuse the offer He went to serve one man that sells mattress, the man is an authorized dealer for two companies, this man promised to settle him well like he has settled many guys from our place, but my brother came back saying there's no gain in the business. Mind u the man and all the guys he settled are all doing well.
Another apprentice deal was with one billionaire from my village. The man is based in Lagos, an importer and exporter. The man too have settled many people from our village too and all his boys are doing well. But my brother came back saying that the manager sends him and other two guys (latest intakes) to the warehouse while the manager and the rest stays in the outlet shops where there are ACs. Without even telling his master he ran back home from Lagos.
We sent he to learn plastic business, it would take 6 months or less we promised to gave him some funds for startup but oga said no.
He's been to countless other apprenticeships but he always came back home moving from one "brother's" house to another. Sleeping and snoring from morning to night. And he can finish food meant for ten people all alone.
I'm planning on driving him out of my house cos I've tried my best for him.
Just prepare to be feeding him and paying for his house rent for the next 30 to 40 years.
Many families have 1 or 2 of these type of children. No matter what you do, they don't man up. If you don't give them money, they starve and still refuse to work and the society blames you for letting your brother to be hungry or homeless.
I have one like your brother. I have placed him on minimal monthly stipend for over a decade now.
Nemesis0147: My cousin just traveled to UK last week for his master and he has some Naira in his Nigeria account….is it advisable for him to buy dollars and hold? He will spending at least 5 years in the UK before coming back.
He should buy USD or pound sterling and keep.
The naira has been depreciating since the 80's and will continue to depreciate for the foreseeable future.
ceejay80s: Make una allow the man rest, he didn't kill his wife, It's normal for u to come home find ur wife hanging, cut the rope ,bring her down and be on top to see if u can revive her, shey na under her he for dey? Pray no such thing happen to u, then everyone will become cid for ur matter
Nigeria police are useless.
Why arrest the man before concluding investigation?
A man lost his wife, in such traumatic situation all they could think of is to arrest the husband without evidence of the husband committing a crime. Investigation needs to be concluded before arresting anyone. Locking people up in the name of investigation is abuse of the constitution and abuse of people's rights.
yinkus6750: So sad. But what is the husbands involvement in her death ? The present situation in the country is highly frustrating. May God help us all
The police just abuse the rights of the citizens without even thinking of what the constitution says.
If a woman commits suicide, why should the police arrest the husband without clear evidence of the husband committing a crime?
Now the young children have both parents taken away from them.
And if the man does not bribe the police to be left off the hook, they might charge him for murder without enough evidence and just keep him in prison for years awaiting trial, just because he refused to offer bribe.
The constitution is clear, the police needs to bring a suspect to court within 24 hours of his arrest since the arrest was done in a city with court available to take the case.
The police is not allowed by the constitution to just go about locking people up and saying that the want to do investigation. They are to investigate first, find the required evidence for a prosecution being arresting those implicated.
As for the viral load becoming low, does it means it reduced since she started taking her med or the virus doesnt get to multiply and just retained the same load
If it does reduces, shey e fit reduce so tey all the virus go finish for the person body
It reduces and also unable to multiply as long as the drugs are being taken.
Just that some remain in a dormant state, so it does really reduce to zero. The dormant ones will start to multiply again if the drugs are stopped.
Romance / Re: A Heart Piercing Truth For Ladies by Earthstorms(m): 6:21am On Apr 25