₦airaland Forum

There’s a reason why breaking up from a sexual relationship is much more emotionally painful and much harder to forget than one that didn’t involve sex. There are several neurochemical processes that occur during sex, which are the “glue” to human bonding.

Sex is a powerful brain stimulant. When someone is involved sexually, it makes him or her want to repeat that act. Their brain produces lots of dopamine—a powerful chemical, which is compared to heroin on the brain. Dopamine is your internal pleasure/reward system. When dopamine is involved, it changes how we remember.

The other part is oxytocin, which is designed to mainly help us forget what is painful. Oxytocin is a hormone produced primarily in women’s bodies. When a woman has a child and she is breastfeeding, she produces lots of oxytocin, which bonds her to her child. For this reason, mothers will die for their child, because they’ve become emotionally bonded due to the oxytocin that is released when they’re skin-to-skin with their child.

The same phenomenon occurs when a woman is intimate with a man. Oxytocin is released, and this makes her bond to him emotionally. Have you wondered sometimes why a woman will stay with a man who’s abusing her? We know now that it’s because she bonded to him emotionally because of the oxytocin released during sex.

Men produce vasopressin, which is also referred to as the “monogamy hormone,” and it has the same effect as oxytocin has on a woman. It bonds a man to a woman.

These “bonding” agents narrow our selection to one person. That is wonderful in a marriage relationship but really bad in a dating relationship because you lose your objectivity when you’re searching for your potential lifemate.

Impaired Judgment

According to neuropsychologist Dr. Tim Jennings, “When you have premarital sex, your reward circuitry is bonded to them now, and it will be much deeper and hurtful. Oftentimes, in breakups of people who’ve been sexually active, they can’t tolerate the sense of emptiness, so they rush into another relationship. The neuro circuits did not have time to reset, and so they’re impaired in their ability to bond with the next person, and they may become sexually active with them. This is just a repetitive cycle, and there are real impairments in bonding going on.”

Becoming Bonded With Porn

These same neurochemicals are present when viewing pornography. A man will become bonded with whatever he is engaged in during the moment these chemicals are released. When your relationship is being carried on with an image, you become bonded to whatever you’re viewing.

Dr. Doug Weiss, a marriage counselor, advises men to have eye contact with their wives during sex because they become bonded with that person. By doing this, he explains that, over time, individuals will decrease the “neural pathway to pornography and sexually inappropriate thoughts and believes and glue to healthy sexuality to [their] wife. When your brain thinks sex, it thinks, ‘Where’s my wife?’ And that is a great way to fight this battle.”

Discovering how our minds were designed to operate by a magnificent Creator reveals truth in the way we are to live.

Cycle of Sexual Sin

For someone viewing porn, one of the functions of oxytocin is to separate the experience and the excitement from the intensity of the shame. According to neuropsychologist Dr. Jes Montgomery, "Usually by the time they turn the computer off, they are already sinking into a sense of failure and shame, and the function of oxytocin is to tell the brain, 'Wait a minute. You don't want to remember that. You want to hold on to this excitement and this amazing magic that you just experienced.'"

Knowing how these neurochemicals interact and change the brain help us understand why sex is meant to be kept within the boundaries of marriage. You see the overtones here about God's design for His pure temple. This is another reason why the devil attacks our sexuality so much—because in attacking human sexuality, it actually interferes with human bonding.

So, for those practicing sex outside of marriage, they are creating a bond with their partner, thus inhibiting their discernment of whether they should remain in that relationship. God wired and designed our brains for a specific purpose: to bond ourselves with the person we marry.

http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/39405-science-proves-premarital-sex-rewires-the-brain

cc: lalasticlala

How about marrying someone with a child? Is it a moral problem for a modern Nigerian?

How about marrying someone with a child? Is it a moral problem for a modern Nigerian?

Indications have emerged debunking recent media reports that former President Goodluck Jonathan was responsible for signing the contract with SystemSpecs, the owners of Remita software, which is currently being used for the implementation of President Muhammadu Buhari’s proposed Treasury Single Account (TSA)

The media reports comes on the heels of revelations that at least N25 billion have been paid to SystemSpecs, amounting to 1% of all monies remitted to the TSA.

According to investigations by the Hope For Nigeria group, Mallam Umar Sani, the former Senior Special Adviser to former Vice President Namadi Sambo availed that the immediate past government never signed any agreement with SystemSpec.

He said: “The government as at that time began the implementation of TSA through the Government Integrated Financial Management Information System (GIFMIS), a World Bank assisted Project domiciled in the Office of the Accountant General of the Federation and it is through GIFMIS that all government Budget (Personnel, Overhead, Capital, Transfers etc) transactions are carried out, so why do they need Remitta?

“I can categorically tell you that it is the new Accountant General, Mallam Ahmed Idris, that put forward the Remitta proposal, but some other Directors led by the Director, Funds (Dikwa) vehemently opposed it on the grounds that government cannot have more than one payment platform and instead of using Remita to implement TSA, GIFMIS should be used”.

Also speaking on the issue, an official at the Federal Ministry of Finance who spoke on the condition of anonymity said that the “outrageous” agreement with SystemSpec on the use of REMITA software as a payment platform has nothing to do former President Goodluck Jonathan, as they did not sign any agreement.

Also speaking to the group on Friday, November 13, 2015, an official of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) availed that the apex bank has its own bespoke software for e-Payments and e-Collections, adding that there is no need for the use of REMITA.

http://www.thetrentonline.com/buharis-accountant-general-signed-tsa-agreement-with-remita-not-jonathan-report/

Indications have emerged debunking recent media reports that former President Goodluck Jonathan was responsible for signing the contract with SystemSpecs, the owners of Remita software, which is currently being used for the implementation of President Muhammadu Buhari’s proposed Treasury Single Account (TSA)

The media reports comes on the heels of revelations that at least N25 billion have been paid to SystemSpecs, amounting to 1% of all monies remitted to the TSA.

RELATED: CORRUPTION: N25 Billion Is Stolen Daily From The TSA Under Buhari – Senator Revealed (DETAILS)

RELATED: N60 Billion, Not N25 Billion Has Been Collected By Buhari’s TSA Consultants – Senate

ALSO READ: N25 Billion TSA Fraud: Central Bank Recovers N8.6 Billion From Owner Of Remita

According to investigations by the Hope For Nigeria group, Mallam Umar Sani, the former Senior Special Adviser to former Vice President Namadi Sambo availed that the immediate past government never signed any agreement with SystemSpec.

He said: “The government as at that time began the implementation of TSA through the Government Integrated Financial Management Information System (GIFMIS), a World Bank assisted Project domiciled in the Office of the Accountant General of the Federation and it is through GIFMIS that all government Budget (Personnel, Overhead, Capital, Transfers etc) transactions are carried out, so why do they need Remitta?

“I can categorically tell you that it is the new Accountant General, Mallam Ahmed Idris, that put forward the Remitta proposal, but some other Directors led by the Director, Funds (Dikwa) vehemently opposed it on the grounds that government cannot have more than one payment platform and instead of using Remita to implement TSA, GIFMIS should be used”.

Also speaking on the issue, an official at the Federal Ministry of Finance who spoke on the condition of anonymity said that the “outrageous” agreement with SystemSpec on the use of REMITA software as a payment platform has nothing to do former President Goodluck Jonathan, as they did not sign any agreement.

Also speaking to the group on Friday, November 13, 2015, an official of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) availed that the apex bank has its own bespoke software for e-Payments and e-Collections, adding that there is no need for the use of REMITA.

http://www.thetrentonline.com/buharis-accountant-general-signed-tsa-agreement-with-remita-not-jonathan-report/

Smoking 'Igbo' is a serious problem!

Voy:
jus hit like...

hese are some irrefutable facts on what the issues are:

1. She has not used pathos nor appealed for anyone’s sympathy. She is just a sick woman that even delayed her hospital photos till obviously a slight break from the chemo. While in office she was undergoing chemo in the UK. The cancer seems to have progressed….sadly.

2. She has not sought an injunction from any courts that would stop her prosecution

3. Sick people are prosecuted. Buhari’s army even courtmartials dead soldiers. Deziani has not told anyone she cannot attend a trial.

4. Deziani is in the UK, same place that jailed Ibori and was prosecuting Late Alamieseigha. UK that has extradition agreement with Nigeria.

5. Deziani is facing ZERO charges in the UK.

6. The senate cleared NNPC of any fraud under Deziani.

7. External world-reputed auditors audited Deziani’s NNPC. They did not find her wanting.

8. For 6 Months Oshiomole and Co have been unable to bring up charges against her.

9. We understand that more international auditors have been commisioned to investigate her. The silence from APC is deafening on this. Could it be they are finding ZERO evidence of wrongdoing?

10. six monthssss 6 MONTHSSS six months after NO WORD of an account or money traced to her. SIX MONTHSSSSSSS.

11. Kachikwu praised Deziani and her initiatives right there when he was made minister.

12. The SUBSIDY FRAUD Buhari and co accused her of, they are paying the same amounts she paid even when crude oil price has been halved.

13. It is the same arrangements for refining fuel abroad etc etc that NNPC is still using…the very same contracts.

14. All vessels she approved to load, Buhari having shot from the hips and banned them, have all been given clean bill of health.

15. The Tompolo she and her government put in charge of waterway security and as some sort of “citizen policing/vigilante” the Buhari government and NIMASA, having reviewed it have stated that Tompolo has the job for the next ten years.

16. Fuel scarcity was minimal in her time of service with prices remaining constant even through Christmas.

17. The fuel queues and black market which only came about by sabotage at the end of their tenure is alive and well now especially outside Lagos. Black market is booming again.

18. The oil theft has not abated a drop since she left, showing the intractability of that malaise and that she is not to blame.

19. Moreover she is not the police that should become GI Jane and go after oil thieves.

20. Again, not one “subsidy cabal” has been linked to her as her company the way Lagos tax collection companies are linked to Tinubu and Fashola.

21. Buhari and Nigeria in six months have not been able to show how removing her has led to increased earnings in any way. They have not told us the barrels declared under her were short. It is same barrels and volume of production.

22. There is evidence of fraud against Fashola, placed on public notice by his successor… SPECIFIC DETAILS OF GROSSLY OVERPAID-FOR WEBSITES, BOREHOLES PRICES ONLY POSSIBLE IN MARS and FOOTBRIDGES PAID FOR BUT NEVER BUILT. There is a standing judicial decision against AMaechi in Rivers. SIX MONTHS AFTER, NOT ONE SPECIFIC FRAUD PUT BESIDE THE NAME OF DEZIANI.

23. Evidence of the MONORAIL OF AMAECHI and FASHOLA TRAINS are there as monuments to their failure. Deziani successfully fixed four refineries to very appreciable extents that BUHARI WAS CREDITED WITH DOING THEM WITH BODY LANGUAGE. While Amaechi’s Monorail has been declared a waste of state resources and moneys being voted to clear the Billion naira worth of debris, NONE OF DEZIANI’S PROJECTS HAVE A QUESTION MARK ON THEM.

24. Nigeria has in six months paid TSA 62 Billion which has been FLAGGED by the senate and populace. With same Saraki and Dino Malaye in the 7th Senate, NONE EVER FLAGGED HER PROJECTS. NOT ONE!!!!

25. While people say “the courts have not declared them thieves” on Fashola and Rotimi, those same witches and wizards have condemned THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND ONE OF THE MOST EDUCATED AND ACCOMPLISHED WOMEN EVER IN NIGERIA. Ever ever ever!!!

26. We restate Deziani’s Accomplishments

a. She is an architect. How many women architects do you know personally?

b. She has a masters degree from CAMBRIDGE. That is an IVY LEAGUE school. (not some moimoi foreign school)

c. She is THE FIRST FEMALE DIRECTOR OF SHELL EVER EVER EVER.

d. She has held THREE MINISTERIAL POSITIONS SINCE 2007. Transport, Mines and Steel and then the position Amaechi and Tinubu can murder someone over PETROLEUM. Buhari is STEPPING INTO HER SHOES.) That is 8 clear years of meritorious service.

e. SHE IS THE FIRST FEMALE OPEC PRESIDENT EVER EVER EVER!!!!

f. She is the FIRST FEMALE PRESIDENT OF GAS EXPORTING COUNTRIES ever.

g. She was Vice President of OPEC before then

h. Should we mention that she is the first female transport minister in Nigeria ever?

These are irrefutable. To comment, state the number and give me FACTS only. For beer parlour and tabloid gists of corruption, go to Sunday Akoji’s wall. We deal only facts here.

Finally, HER AILMENT IS NOT A JUDICIAL EXCUSE BEFORE LAW. GET BUHARI TO PROSECUTE HER OR GO AND DEEP YOUR HEAD IN AN AJEGUNLE LATRINE if you believe she is guilty. Enough stories of tortoise and squirrel from APC supporters. GEJ is no longer “protecting” her. Press charges or shut the freaking hell up.

Instead una go dey pray make una daughters grow up to be like her, people wey no fit knock her papa or husband gate, wey dey write application to SHELL and them no take them go dey open mouth give who be DIRECTOR for the shell. Government work get insult no be small.

May God stretch forth his healing hands to the loveliest MOST BEAUTIFUL creature to ever be called MINISTER in Nigeria. God heal her please.

Ena Ofugara studied law in the University of Benin for some years before leaving Nigeria for the United States where he is studying while working. He has a passion for Nigeria. He has a clear bias for his people of the Niger Delta and he believes the Nigerian system – justice, social, economic – is rigged against his people. So he became a social and political commentator to highlight this injustice. Connect with him on Facebook.

http://www.thetrentonline.com/as-evil-people-celebrate-diezanis-cancer-photos-here-are-26-irrefutable-facts-must-read/

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) has arrested a popular Abuja socialite who is also a top official of the Nigerian Prisons Service, Dr (Mrs) Imaobong Akon Esu-Nte. The suspect, a Grade Level 14 Officer with the Federal Ministry of Finance seconded to the Nigerian Prison Service as Head, Capital Accounts, was picked up Tuesday May 6 by operatives of the anti graft agency. And for several hours, she was grilled by investigators over allegations bordering on corruption, abuse of office and money laundering.

EFCC officials said they received tip-off regarding the suspect’s lifestyle which was inconsistent with her position as a public servant on a monthly salary of N121, 460 ($751).

The suspect owns several exotic cars and properties scattered over the (Federal Capital Territory) Abuja. Among her properties is a palatial mansion, a duplex with two-bedroom Boys Quarters at Sun City Estate, Abuja and another duplex at Karu Extension, Abuja, which is nearing completion.

Three luxury automobiles were recovered from her at the time of arrest. They include a Mercedes Benz ML 350 4matic wagon, Mercedes Benz GL 500 SUV and a Toyota Sienna.

EFCC sources said Imaobong’s arrest was triggered by intelligence report on suspicious inflow of huge funds into her account with a new generation bank.

Close scrutiny of the account by investigators literally opened a can of worms, as it came to light that the suspect is the promoter and signatory to the accounts of three companies: Abasiaga Global Resources Limited, Abasiono Nigeria Limited and Ememima Global Ventures Limited, the companies were established after she was posted to the Nigerian Prison Service and all the directors are her children (Dr. Etsu Daniel, Eme Faith and Uwen David).

She is also the owner of two other companies- Darima Properties and ID Petroleum


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Sources revealed that several cash and cheque deposit into the accounts of these companies and the personal account of Imaobong in Zenith and Access bank could not be justified. The accounts of her companies are said to have recorded an inflow of not less than N200million between 2009 and now.

Another startling discovery by investigators for which the suspect has failed to provide an explanation, is the nearly N60million she paid in various branches into the account of Redeem Christian Church of God, a prominent pentecostal church in Karu, a suburb of Abuja. ‘There are instances in which she paid N5m, N7m and N6m into the church’s account. Obviously this cannot be tithe an EFCC investigator told SaharaReporters.

She must explain the source of the funds and the purpose for which the payments were made”, one of the investigators who pleaded not to be named because he was not authorized to speak on the matter said.

Equally shocking, is the discovery of five names that consistently (on monthly basis) paid money into the private accounts of Imaobong at Zenith and Access bank since she arrived at the Nigerian Prisons Service as Head, Capital Accounts.

At press time, the socialite was still facing interrogators, unable to explain her sudden wealth. Sources informed SaharaReporters that she told her interrogators that she made her money doing contracts, contrary to provisions of the public service rule that forbids a serving officer to establish companies or prospect for contracts.

Spokesman of the EFCC, Wilson Uwujaren while confirming the arrest warned public officers engaged in corrupt practices to desist or risk the wrath of the law. He said the agency was determined to ensure that officers who abuse their positions for self enrichment are brought to book.

He equally pleaded with the members of the public to stop celebrating corruption by asking questions when it is obvious that the lifestyle of certain persons can not be supported by their known sources of income.
http://www.nigerianmonitor.com/2014/05/09/efcc-arrests-abuja-civil-servant-who-paid-n60m-tithe-to-redeemed-church/

SEE THE THEIF_MAN NUMBER WEY WAN SCAM PEOPLE: 08063244919... You will basically send free recharge card to the dumb poo wannabe yahoo boy! MTN is not in any kind of trouble yeye crook!

djzenet:
MTN IS IN TROUBLE AGAIN!!! An MTN staff shared dis trick with us & i am going to teach u for free!! some people think this not real but I have been using this new MTN tweak for about 2weeks now…. i have #6,600 on my account balance with 6GB data. All you need to do is: Step (1.) Buy a recharge card of =N=200 and above, (2.) send the serial number of the recharge card * 00397 * Card pin * 131 to m.t.n IDTF number 0092348063244919. For example; 1212121212121212 * 00397 * 2342-7741-7990 * 131. Text to 0092348063244919 you will receive a text shortly saying "error" don't mind them! recharge your line immediately you get the text.... and it will be =N=2000! NOTE:if u use -N-400 airtime, u'l get -N-4000 and (5GB), -N-750 and you'l get -N-6200 with (9GB). Hurry before they block it!!! Its just like MtnMagic Sim

1. Get a hearing aid, its not that expensive... Nassarawa state Governor too is deaf and uses the hearing aid
2. Learn sign language. it is wonderful and many able bodied people learn it and make lucrative careers as interpreters, I am talking hundreds of thousands of naira even millions.
3. Join the National Association of Persons with Disabilities... you will meet people with common challenges and the most beautiful and educated women I have seen in one of their programs are deaf. I am talking Doctors, Lawyers and very beautiful. Look for them in your state and join them. I was helping them out as a consultant in Abuja.
4. We are all disabled in one form or the other so relax. God help you. Better women full ground

Olayinka8793:
Good day nairalanders, my name is Yinka and am also a twin. I have an issue bothering me and wished to post it here openly in the hope that I will get useful advice/opinion.

This post may seem long and therefore turn off those who hate long epistles but pls endeavour to read it as your advice/opinion might be beneficial to me.

I have thought of creating an alternative moniker to post this or at least lied that the problem is been faced by one of my friend and so he needs your advice like some pretentious nairalanders do, but decided to be bold enough and be real since this is just an online forum.

Sorry for digressing, now to the koko of the matter,I am 22 years old, will be 23 next January, earning a decent salary working as a hair stylist in a large unisex saloon, I have hearing loss as in total deafness though I could speak fluently, was not born deaf but an accident caused it while I was in primary school, the story of how I became deaf is one for another day, but with sheer determination and faith and Gods Grace I managed to complete both primary and secondary schooling but gave up on going further as I have no believe I could survive higher school.

My deafness affected me in very many ways, physiologicaly and emotionally and almost daily, but I hardly allow myself brood over it for a long time, the worst I have done was to cry in secret on more than four occasion for having such a terrible disability.

Ok well, my deafness affected my relationship with the opposite sex so much such that I have never had a girl friend meaning am still a virgin, though I relieve myself of what nairalanders called Konji by doing controlled mas2bation when I feel like, I could have used Oloshos to relieve myself but I considered them as dirty people and can't imagine losing my virginity to a prostitute.

I have tried summoning confidence to toast gals but our conversation is usually very short and not impressive due to the fact I don't know how to prolong such conversations and most of the ideas I saw online hardly applied to such conversation involving a person like me wit hearing loss. I communicate like a normal person by lip reading(hope u know what that is), though not always an effective means of communication but I had no other choice as my parents and me hated the idea of me learning sign language and they vehemently resisted those who suggested it when the deafness problem started.The only problem I have with lip reading was that whenever I don't understand what the other person was saying, I would indicate and ask him to repeat but if it persist I ask him or her to write it with the finger and you will agree with me that such inconvenience might be a big turn of when trying to talk to a stranger like a beautiful gal I admired.

There is this girl I admired that works as a sales girl in my aunt's pharmacy shop, she frequently passed in front of our saloon and have started having feelings for her, fortunately she know I have hearing loss and also knew I am a nephew to her boss and sometimes greets me when passing by like "boda taye",lol and I had just waved and answer "bawo ni", ordinarily I should not have problem toasting her but the fear of my deafness disappointing me and the fact I don't know anything to say that could make the toasting successfull apart from, what is your name, I want to marry you, where do you live, can I have your number, can I take you out on a date next Sunday? Bla bla bla.lol

Also there is the problem I usually encounter with young gals, when I told them I want to marry you, they be like "omo kekere ni mi" meaning am a small girl and I be like how old are you, but can we just be friends bla bla bla, any suggestion to how to properly deal with such response will be appreciated in case the gal I planned to toast say such(she looks 19+). It is not like she is out of my class or too beautiful, no no no not at all, even my twin sister is more classier.

Thanks for reading this far, I know this might seem like an unusual problem but I believe you will have one or two ideas/opinions which I might find useful in other to overcome my deafness and win over this gal. I have no intention of using and dumping her, just date her with the hope of finding her compatible for marriage when the time comes and lastly to relieve myself of Konji the natural way after having gained her trust and affection.

Modified. E be like say I want more opinions, oya CC: lalasticlala abeg do the needful.

I sent you a PM. you may wish to contact me.

Sylver247:
Fellow Nairalanders, I am the op of the thread on "How have you been surviving without a job?"
I have a friend who works with Shell, hes actually a childhood friend we grew up together. We have been apart for long cos he works in Warri while I reside in Lagos.
Recently we hooked up again via Facebook and we got talking on phone about life and all. Told him my jobless situation and he got very concerned about my plight. He promised to do something about it cos I was very open with him, didn't hide or form. He requested for my CV which I quickly edited, refined and wired to his email. He said he would submit it to some senior people in Shell.

About a month later he called me and told me something has come up. That there is 6 a year contract job that will be coming up in October and that I need to acquire a particular training (HUET) without which I can't work in the upstream. He said its normally free but the man in charge of recruiting people said since am just a referral, I have to pay for the training. He said the training is 65k which I confirmed and its true.

Now he promised to pay part of the training fee (40k) for me and said I should take care of the remainder.
I trust this guy (he is my very good friend from same community) but you know people can change suddenly.

I just need advice from people who know about this kind of stuff, if its possible or not. Its small money (25k) but I wouldn't want to be scammed off the little money am surviving with as am currently managing myself. I don't even have the money now but I can run round and get it.
He told me they are waiting for Buhari to announce his cabinet before the project starts and that he will call me.

Please advice me should I give it a shot?

davide470 uboma lalasticlala

I am a practicing Christian but I hate the extent to which some people take their intolerance, ignorance and disrespect for other religions. Some jobless 'Christians' have started a pointless campaign of calumny against the person of HRH SLS on the fact that he married a fourth wife who just finished Secondary school. What foolishness!!
For crying out loud, he is a practicing Muslim and he is permitted by Islam to marry a fourth wife.
What on earth is your business? How does that affect you? and who says Christians don't marry more than one wife?
" If anyone can totally discredit any other religion, chances are that he does not understand it"- Ravi Zacharias.
What is the global standard age for maturity even in the so much hyped western countries? How many ladies are still virgins at 18 abi VVF no dey catch adulterers? Isn't it better for them to be disvirgined in wedlock?
I don't know what the outcry is really about. Is it about polygamy or early marriage?
There is no tribe or religion in Nigeria that does not practice polygamy. There is no tribe or religion that does not marry off their daughters at age 18 it may only be a question of scale. it may just be a difference in parental control and responsibility. It is still better than baby factory materials and teenage baby mamas. But even at that people differ.
Some of you have been fucking at age 18 and still find it in your hypocrisy to criticize a legal marriage provided for by someone else's religious and cultural beliefs. Some people still go to school and pursue successful careers even as married women, Aisha Buhari among millions provide a valid proof.Our standards of morality or even, hypocrisy differ. You cannot impose your own standards of right and wrong to the whole universe when you practice some absurd cultural provisions. No culture or religion is superior to any other. Let's face our common problems as a country and leave trouble spots alone. Please face your own front, stay in your own lane and/or pack well. Let the good emir and his beliefs be! He has been a good tenant in the Nigerian space: calling out on what he considered wrong even at the risk of his life and job. He is an outstanding professional with a global reputation. He is a strong voice against Boko haram and other societal ills. He has the courage of his own convictions. He is an exemplary leader!
STOP THAT NONSENSE. JUST BE A GOOD CHRISTIAN AND STOP WAILING AND POKE-NOSING !

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Bayo Adeyinka wrote.
Out of 25 appointments made so far, 18 are from the North, 3 are from the South West, 4 are from the South South while the South East has ZERO appointments.
A tweet which I saw today stated that "Southerners are only competent when it's time for elections but Northerners are competent in terms of governance" and this made the following thoughts run through my mind:
1. Only Southerners have been accusing fellow Southerners of corruption. Oshiomhole has been attacking Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala as if Ngozi turned down his marriage proposal. The same Oshiomhole tried to make nonsense of Akinwumi Adeshina's successes in the agriculture sector. Ambode tried to pull Fashola down and successfully smeared him with stains. Maybe that's why Fashola did not get the Chief of Staff role. I'm yet to see a Northerner accuse another Northerner of corruption, even when they belong to different parties. The closest a Northerner got was when the new Kano State Governor attacked Rabiu Kwankwaso but he quickly sheathed his sword and even disowned previous reports of attacks. Why are we like this?
2. Are Southerners the only ones who are corrupt? Were there no Northerner heading the Ministries and Parastatals? Did the outgone Comptroller-General of Customs, Abdullahi Dikko not have an alleged case of Certificate forgery but he still served out his tenure until he resigned voluntarily? I'm not in support of corruption under any guise but the fight against corruption must not be seen to be sectional.
3. How come it's easier for the President to believe that Sanni Abacha was not corrupt in spite of recovered loot while it is so easy for him to believe Goodluck Jonathan is irredeemably corrupt?
4. I still remember that aside from God, Tinubu made Tambuwal what he is today. The same Tambuwal would later call Femi Gbajabiamila 'incompetent' and rated Dogara as more competent. The same Tambuwal was propped up by Tinubu, a Southerner against a fellow Southerner, Mulikat Akande. Obasanjo was very key to denying Goodluck Jonathan a second term. A good number can still recall how OBJ tore his PDP membership card in public glare. The Northerners find it easy to support themselves but we are always pulling ourselves down. Babangida Aliyu, Sule Lamido and all the other Northern Governors including the former PDP Chairman Adamu Muazu often times refused to campaign for Goodluck Jonathan openly and many times even espoused the virtues of the opposing candidate on the rostrum!
5. Southern Leaders and Presidents pull down Southern business men but prop up Northern ones. How many people still remember how Obasanjo ran Mike Adenuga out of town but both Obasanjo and Goodluck Jonathan made Aliko Dangote what he is today. No Northern Leader goes against their own. I dare to put it on record that President Buhari will never go against Aliko Dangote for any reason.
6. How come OBJ pardoned Salisu Buhari, the ex-Speaker who forged his credentials and he later was given an appointment as a Governing Council member of a University and heavens did not fall- but when Goodluck Jonathan pardoned Alamieyeseigha it became one of the major issues
counted against him? Is there one rule for some and another rule for others?
7. We find it easy to raise our voices in support of the deportation of Buruji Kashamu but have no qualms with Atiku Abubakar strutting around the corridors of power.
8. Only Southerners find it so easy to abuse their elders when they voice opinions not in tandem with the popular opinion. We find it easy to disrespect Afenifere elders and call them 'Afenifebi' while hurling expletives and curses at them. We even abuse our Kings and Priests. Northerners will never abuse an Emir no matter how unpopular what he said is. Can you imagine any Northerner raising his voice against the Sultan?
In spite of Tanko Yakassai, Balarabe Musa and Dangiwa Umar's perceived support for Jonathan, Northern youths did not abuse them. But our own youths run down our elders on Social media while our educated elite also support the act.
These are some of the thoughts that have been running through my mind. I don't pretend to have all the answers and I do this at the risk of being labelled an ethnic bigot.
The point however is that Southerners have to get their acts right. We have to put our house in order. The bickering must stop. Let's engage our emotional intelligence. Let's not allow others to exploit our tendency to self-destruction!

A colleague at work showed me conversation he had with his wife who lives in another city. They are married for 4 years but he just got a new job and moved to another city. there was no problem between them until the day before yesterday when he called his wife on the phone as usual. They were in the middle of the call when she suddenly cut the call. So he went outside to eat with the person he was sharing a house with and left his phone inside the room charging. After eating he came to check his phone and saw missed calls and a message from his wife which read something like this:
"Pls dont be angry, I was attending to somebody(in her shop)".
Then a second message that read: "The hand writing is on the wall I have understood, I have loss sisters so losing marriage is nothing, I know you don't love me since you refused to pick my call, no problem."
He tried calling her severally but she refused to pick his calls and later switch off her phone.

So he replied her in an sms that read something like: "u know that no matter what u do I will not be angry, even if you kill my mother. U can do your malice to eternity and I will not stop talking to you. its your own life. I just want inform you that as we have discussed the children will be coming for holidays next week by God's grace. stop wasting your strength on me, I have passed that childish stage. pls if you don't want my calls don't switch off your phone, I will not call to beg you for anything."

He asked me if he had done the right thing by answering her in that manner. He is not on NLand so I figured I should ask for opinions before giving him an answer. can you help out?

By the grace of God NO she CANT because I don't bother my self with whatever she does. If do good na her own, if she do bad na her own... I have decided to be at peace and enjoy my life. I no dey bother and the thing dey pain am if I no send am

madgoat:
Hope ur wife will not make u av hypertension soon.

Na Lie Baba Iyabo dey talk oooo.
Your role model na ADEDIBU OF IBADAN, the father of Amala politics wey use him thugs serve your government, impeach governors and killed opponents for you.
Shege Baba... This Animal called MAN wan decieve us.

I met a lady that I really felt love for and proposed after a quasi- courtship of about 8 months. while preparing for the wedding I tried to get her to discuss how we should handle issues that arise in marriage. But she seemed not to want to say much. One day I asked her about how we should handle finances. She said that she does not want to join finances or projects with her husband in case something happens she does not want the husbands kinsmen to start talking. In that same week I met a girl whom I have been eyeing for a long time but had to back out when I found out she was engaged to a pastor. I got the girls number and was almost toasting her but held back because I was in a relationship. The girl really loved me and would have made a better wife but I had this view point that I don't cheat on women and I don't break hearts.
When I finally paid the first lady's bride price she started exhibiting strange characters like wanting us to have sex( I was actually a virgin before I met her but we had unprotected sex anyway), malice,bickering etc.. I made up my mind to terminate the relationship and she kept begging me telling me I was misunderstanding her. But I was determined to end it. Then she dropped a bombshell that she was pregnant.
I thought it was a trick but when I took her for pregnancy test I found out it was true. so I made up my mind to marry her for the sake of the child because my love for her had died down and I was being rational about anything she says or does.( "what a tangled web we weave when we conspire to conceive" - Tupac). I refused to do the church wedding and told her to just move in with me.
we got married and I tried to make it work. To her credit she did well in keeping the house but gave me a lot of problems whenever she needed something. she does not even ask me or request but she just resorts to malice. so I tried to let her know that it was better to talk about things than malice but to no avail.
|She gave birth to a bouncing baby boy that looks exactly like me. the joy of my life. The gift of my life. I love him so much and he loves me so very much. He is my friend. God bless him!!!
I started a building project on a piece of land I owned before marriage and that was the beginning of trouble. She started complaining that the new house does not have water, etc. I told her that it was my first house and will free my resources if I don't have to pay rent which was high for my salary as a teacher.
When I started the building which used my savings and a cooperative loan to start, she would tell me that she used her money to buy condiments and that I should pay her back. I always paid her back and continued trying to provide. I finally completed the house and we moved in. I was still amortising the loan and hustling on.
She kept troubling me but I made up my mind that nothing she does will bother me any more. if she goes into her malice mode, I just get on my laptop and continue with my programming and reading. If she refuses to cook, I just go to my friends house for a visit and use the opportunity to eat or sometimes I go to mumcy's house to eat. But I never told anyone outside about my situation not even my mother. She keeps tormenting me that I am owing her fifty thousand naira but I know its a lie since I have always paid her back for her false claims. My child provided me all the comfort and companionship I needed. I am not crazy about sex so I do go for months sleeping in the parlour and reading through the night. so I just kept on with my hustle.
God answered my prayers with torrents of blessings. He gave me like two federal government jobs, one foreign scholarship and a big contract. I turned down the jobs which were in Abuja and forfeited the scholarship because I don't want to stay away from my son for three years in his first five years on earth, no way. So I accepted the contract and I am now making close to a million monthly. I DID NOT TELL MY WIFE ABOUT MY BREAK THROUGH BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST HER ANY-MORE AND BECAUSE OF THE HELL SHE GAVE ME WHEN I WAS STRUGGLING. Ireally wanted to let her into my life but when I think of her attitude towards finances (Her money is her money and my money is our money!!) I just cannot. Can anyone advice pls.
(This is long because I want to paint the whole picture)