A guy was toasting a girl. After everything the girl asked him; are you in school, what course are you studying?. He replied; Yes i'm in school, i'm studying food science.

A week later, the girl saw him watching plates in a local restaurant. She was shocked; Gosh! What are you doing here?. He smiled and replied; I'm doing my I.T


hehehehehe

A pastor married an uneducated jealous woman. One day the woman was in the kitchen cooking when she overheard him praying in the parlour, “Thank you Lord for bringing mercy, joy and grace into my life.”

She quickly ran into the parlor with a frying pan, hit him on the head and said; I knew you were a player and a fake pastor! You’ve just prayed for all your girlfriends, you think I did not hear you eh, Who the hell are Mercy, Joy and Grace

ahahaha

A Man sent his wife to the market while he was busy pressing his phone.

30minutes later, a policeman came to him and said; your wife just had an accident. He replied; i don't think it's my wife because she just went out 30minutes ago. The policeman said;n can you please come along with me, to know if she is your wife or not.
The man said; Officer i'm busy doing something online now. Go, snap her picture and upload it on Facebook then tag me. If it's my wife i will LIKE but if it's not
my wife i will remove the tag.

LOL

A Man was in his car when he saw a guy eating grass. He told his driver to stop, which he did. He got out and asked the guy; Why are you eating grass?.
The guy replied; I'm so poor, I can''t afford foodto eat."
The Man said; Ok, come with me to my house.
While they were in the car helding to the man's house. The guy said; Thank you sir for taking me to your house, that's kind of you.
The Man replied; Don't worry, you are going to love it there, the grass is a football field.

Guy: Hi girl what's up?.
Girl: I'm fine, please do i know you?
Boy: Not really but i'm rich.
Girl: Oh ok, i'm Rosy by name, i'm 20 and a student. I like short and dark guys. Nice to meet you.
Guy: no ooo! i said i'm rich by name.
Girl: Sorry please, i don't talk to strangers.

A guy who wanted to get rid of
his nagging and over demanding girlfriend tried all attempts which didn't work out. One day, an idea flashed into his head. He logged into Facebook, browsed into people's profile and suceeded in downloading four beautiful girls pictures. He printed it out and wrote with red ink R.I.P on each of the pictures.
He hid them in a magazine and kept it on top of his television. On Saturday Morning, his girlfriend was cleaning the house and saw the pictures on the magazine. She walked up to him at the bedroom...

Girlfriend: Darling!

Guy: Sweetie what is it?.

Girlfriend: I saw this pictures on the magazine at the top of the television. Who are this girls?.

Guy: Oh that, forget about them, it's not important

Girlfriend: It's important to me, i need to know please.

Guy: Ok, This one is Onome, I met her at a friend's wedding. We dated and wanted to get married, but two months before the wedding. she got involved in a car accident and died. This one is Ngozi, we met at Mr Biggs restaurant, we dated for a while. One day, she was helding to Lagos and her car catched fire, she got burnt below recognition. This one is Roselyn, she was my neighbour’s daughter who came back from London on a visit.
We met and spent a night together, she got involved in a plane crash while returning back to London. Her corpse was never found. This one, oh Angela, her name is Angela, I loved her so much. We went to visit my pastor, on our way back a truck ran over our keke napep, she died instantly and I and the driver survived. it was after her that I met you.

Girl: Meet who, no be me and you o. I'm no more interested in this relationship.

She quickly picked up her bag and took to her heels.

LOL

I was in a taxi chatting with my friend on 2go and suddenly discovered that the man sitting beside me was reading my conversation. Since i did not want to embarrass the man,i decided to change the topic of the chat; Abeg oga, please tell Kabiru Sokoto or Abu Qaqa that I only took two of the bombs we just manufactured for this operation. Let them know as well that I may find it difficult to get to the target place before the bombs explode because there is terrible traffic jam now but nevertheless, I am sure casualty figure will be high since we are five in our taxi and all the vehicles in the traffic will be affected too. We have less than 3minutes for the bomb to go off bye bye and take care of my parents and siblings as agreed. The Man, without allowing the taxi to stop quickly opened the taxi door and jumped out. Ahaha LOL

femi4: 7UUZ33

Thanks Boss.. U mouthed!

Akpors spat saliva and rubbed on his head.

Teacher: Akpors! What stupid thing are you doing? ...Why are you smearing your head with saliva?

Akpors: Madam! I overheard my Mum last night telling my Dad in their Bedroom, that if it is hard and not entering properly, he should apply saliva on the head and it will surely enter!

Because what you are teaching is not entering, I have 2 rub saliva on my head.

Lol

Boss I will appreciate it if you can help me too pin:295FC3C3

This Is An Interview Dialogue I OVERHEAD IN MY WORKING PLACE.
IT IS AN INTERVIEW BETWEEN AN OFFICER IN A DEPARTMENT AND A CANDIDATE SEEKING FOR JOB=>

Officer: What Is Your Name?.

Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Tell Me Properly.

Candidate: Modape Pakurumo Sir

Officer: Your Father’s Name?.

Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Does That Mean?.

Candidate: Moshood Pakurumo Sir

Officer: Your Native Place

Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Is It Makurdi Purum?.

Candidate: No, Minna Port Sir

Officer: What Is Your Qualification?

Candidate: M P. Sir

Officerangry) What Is It?.

Candidate: Metric Pass

Officer: so why do you need a job?.

Candidate: M P sir

Officer: meaning?.

Candidate: money problem sir

Officer: whats your personality?.

Candidate: MP sir

Officer: would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time?.

Candidate: monacrotic personality

Officer: I see no wonder. I will get back to you later. . .

Candidate: sir, how's my MP?.

Officer: and what's that again?.

Candidate: my performance

Officer: MP!

Candidate: m-e-a-n-i-n-g?.

Officer: Mental Problem.

LOL

Happy new month NL! I wish you all the best in the month!

khattab008: Nice joke guy though d last one was repeated

Yeah in a diff way

Thanks

An Isoko Man invited friends to his mother's
burial.
After lowering the coffin, they put yam, rice, meat etc, into the grave. An Hausa Man asked why?.
The Isoko Man smiled and said; According to our tradition, the dead go on a long journey and need all the food items they can get.
The Hausa Man dropped N100,000 and said;
When the food finish, buy more.
The Yoruba Man dropped N50,000 and said; add this incase it is not enough.
The Igbo Man smiled and brought out his cheque book, wrote the cheque of N200,000 dropped it in the coffin and took the N150,000 notes aschange, he then said; Nwanne, withdraw when you reach there o!. It is going to be a dangerous journey. We don’t know how many robbers are out there, it is better for you to go CASHLESS.

A guy who was an aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the pilot's cockpit and saw a book entitled, "How to fly an aeroplane for beginners, Vol. 1 ".
He opened the first page which said; "To start the engine, press the red button". He did so and the airplane engine started.
He was pleased and opened the next page, "To set airplane moving press blue botton". He did so and the plane started moving at an amazing
speed.
He wanted to fly, he opened the 3rd page which said; "To let airplane fly, please press the green button". He did so and the plane started to fly.
He was so happy.
After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land. He opened to the 4th page.
The 4th page said, "To learn how to land a plane,
please watch out for Volume 2.

:d

Nice thread!

Two guys raped a princess. When they were caught and taken to the king for punishment. The king ordered them to go and get as many fruits as they can to bail themselves.
The first one went and returned with 15 Mangoes, the king ordered the guards to insert the Mango into his ass so that he will feel the same pain as the raped Princess. The guy screamed and shouted throughout the insertion.
Suddenly, he began to laugh out loud, the guard asked him why he was laughing in pain.
He pointed ahead and said
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Look at my friend (Akpos), he is bringing WATER MELON." lol

Still available

Still Available

lynxnoon: pls wat do u mean by 'cd needs serving'?
or u meant servicing?. . .if yes wat exactly is d state of d cd now?



cheers

Thanks for the spelling correction.. The CD rom is working but u need to stand it upright and bend it a little bit.

STill Available

Still Available

Still available

Still Available

icekalito: 3309BD94...add me ,I have 30k cash let's deal ..lagos pls

Request Sent!

Stall AVailable

Stall AVailable

Still Available..

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Still Avialable

dotna: Is it in lagos? I'm interested. Add me on bb for quick chat on further details. Pin: 30ED0E1D

Request sent!

Drop your bb pin or call if you are interested!

Thanks